A/N: Oladio! I've returned from the depths of apathy to bring you chapter three!!
Kira: I'm sick.
Lyn: And a little twisted. -knocks on Kira's skull-
Kira: No, I meant as in ill!
Lyn: How so?
Kira: I caught a cold!
Lyn: You caught a cold? You caught it? How'd you do that!?
Kira: -pauses- Well it wasn't easy...
Lyn: Do tell!
Kira: Well it was a windy day and I stood outside. I had a jar and everything!
Lyn: Gasp!
Kira: And finally, I saw it coming!
Lyn: I didn't know colds cummed!
Kira: And BAM! -pause- I caught it!
Lyn: And what a catch it is!
Kira: I know!
Lyn: I want one...
Kira: -holds up jar-
Lyn: Is that-?
Kira: We can share.
Lyn: ...thanks Kira, I feel so...-grabs jar- SNATCH!
Kira: JEFFERY NO!
Lyn: Mine! -runs off laughing-
Kira: JEFFERY!! WHY!? -Sniffles- Oh well, on with the story.
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--The Blue Notebook--
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"We've been at this for three weeks!" Kira flopped onto the hotel couch while flinging numerous documents into the air.
"Patience. I'm not enjoying this either," Lyn replied as she lit a trashcan full of papers on fire.
"Well, it's not all bad."
"No I suppose not. I've actually enjoyed a lot of the conversations I've had."
"And it's kind of nice making friends even if it's for manipulative purposes," Kira said.
"Don't get too attached, we have to leave eventually."
"That is why we took up these careers in the first place," Kira sighed.
"Neither of us needed high school and high school obviously didn't want us." Lyn cringed.
"I know. But here, it's different. I feel like-"
"We've got a problem!"
"What!?" Kira jumped and stood at attention.
"We have no more leads, not much time, and no more money."
Kira's head hung down for a moment.
"This is perfect!" she shouted, her eyes sparked.
"It is?" Lyn raised an eyebrow.
"Don't you raise your eyebrow at me! Pack your things Lyn-Lyn! We're moving in!"
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Naruto paced the floor back and forth. He was coming back and Naruto was fully aware. Naruto had missed him so.
'Come on, come on, come on! Where are you!?' he thought as his canine tooth dug into his bottom lip.
There was a soft tap on the door.
"SAI!" Naruto shouted as he threw open the door.
Kira and Lyn stood on the other side.
"Perfect! Come on in Lyn!" Kira laughed as she walked inside.
"Here? You want to stay here?" Lyn questioned as she poked an empty ramen cup with her shoe.
"Think of the possibilities Lyn-Chan! The opportunities!" Kira spun in a circle.
"Oh, I get it! Right...right."
"Doesn't it remind you a bit of home?" Kira said as she swam across a pile of assorted junk.
Lyn grimaced and threw a ramen cup at Kira.
"Only your half of it."
Meanwhile the confused blonde boy stood with his mouth gaped open and a disappointed smile across his features. One hand was on the door and the other outstretched hopefully.
"You're so pathetic...in a good way," said a stranger's voice as a hand reach out and gave Naruto's forehead a love tap.
"Sai?" Naruto blinked, "SAI!"
Naruto tackled Sai to the floor.
Sai picked up the blonde and set him to his feet.
"Sai! Sai! So how was your vacation?"
"Interesting I suppose," he said with his strange smile.
"Are you sure?" Naruto pouted.
"Well I did miss pointing out your penis..."
Naruto quickly let go and put his hands in front of his crotch, Adam and Eve style.
"My penis is not up for discussion!"
"Did someone say penis?" Lyn said casually as she stepped outside.
She paused for a moment and her and Sai exchanged looks of mild shock.
"Lyn, you don't have to disinfect every- HOLY CRAP! WHY IS PENIS MAN HERE!?" Kira shouted as she pointed to Sai.
"You three know each other?" Naruto asked, confused.
"We met at a convention while I was on vacation," Sai said, quickly recovering.
He waived slightly.
"Hello again," he said with his false grin.
"Wait, a convention for what?" Naruto prodded.
"Butterflies!" Lyn shouted before her hand flew up to cover her mouth.
Kira giggled slightly.
"Butterflies?" Naruto questioned.
"Yes," Sai answered, glaring from the corner of one eye, "Butterflies."
"Are you sure 'you' have a penis, Sai?" Naruto cheekishly smiled.
"Very sure," Sai winked.
A devilish smile possessed Lyn's lips.
"Naruto, be a dear and run to the ramen store. Your new roommates are hungry."
"Roommates!? I barely have enough room for myself!"
"That is because you don't clean. Now go."
"But I, I-"
"Go!" Lyn shouted and shooed him out.
Naruto stalked off.
'How do I get myself into these situations?' Naruto thought.
"You do realize that you're imposing yourselves?" Sai asked in a strangely friendly protective tone.
"Of course, but we'll make it up to him," Kira nodded.
"Good," he smiled.
"He made you grow a heart, neh Sai?" Lyn tsked.
"And you haven't?"
"Silly, Kira and I never tried to rid ourselves of our hearts. We coped."
"If you are here to kill him, I should let you know that you will have me to deal with."
"We assumed as much when we saw the state of your relationship." Kira clarified.
"We're not here to bring any harm to Naruto. We're actually here to do him good."
"Who would hire you two to do good?"
"A slightly self centered teacher who knows what's best for his students," Lyn answered.
"Okay," Sai said as he sat down, "I'm listening."
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Sasuke blew his hair out of his face as he sat in front of a blank television set. Lyn's conversations continued to haunt him once again.
'Damn her for making me think,' he sighed.
"Little brother, what's bothering you?" Itachi questioned.
"Oh, you're the last person I want to listen to!" Sasuke screamed into a pillow.
"Sasuke. Sasuke, tell me now." Itachi demanded.
"I need to figure out how to get into a straight man's pants."
"Not- Kyuubi's brother?" Itachi looked taken aback.
Ever since Itachi lost his beloved Kyuubi, Naruto had become a soft place in his heart, of course the only reason being that Kyuubi had warmed that heart in the first place.
Naruto did not know he had a brother until Kyuubi had died.
Sasuke became angry with Itachi. His strong and cool brother had been replaced by an almost unfeeling hermit who had an unexplainable concern for his 'little brother'. There used to be a lot of hype over Itachi, the respected gay man. And Itachi used to constantly put Sasuke down before abandoning him only to return with open arms while hiding from the public eye.
As far as Sasuke was concerned, Itachi was a hypocrite.
"I really prefer you not think that way about him," Itachi frowned.
"Homosexually?"
"No, like a piece of ass."
"I don't think that way!" Sasuke shouted and threw a throw pillow at his older brother.
Itachi caught it effortlessly.
"And what do you think?"
"That he's my fetish," Sasuke said, embarrassed to recall Lyn's words.
"And what about the other students?"
"Who cares?" Sasuke glared at the wall.
Sasuke's only friends were Gaara and Neji and only because they weren't noisy or talkative. But they were also a couple and their content annoyed Sasuke to no end.
"Perhaps," Itachi said as he rustled Sasuke's hair, "If you were nicer to others, Naruto would be warm up to you."
'Nice choice of words.' Sasuke thought as his tongue licked the back of his teeth.
"Perhaps," Sasuke parroted.
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"I will not allow this," Sai said in a resolute tone.
"And how do you plan to stop us?" Lyn raised an eyebrow.
"You can't kill us, not here anyway," Kira added.
"I'll get Naruto first."
"And tell him what?" Lyn questioned.
"He would think it all a joke," Kira grinned.
"This rushes my plans," Sai mumbled.
"So you do plan on making a move then." Lyn stated more than asked.
"It won't work out," Kira said, trying to hide her panic.
"What do you know?" Sai gritted his teeth.
"Do you never stop to notice the world around you? Or are you so selfish?" Lyn glared.
Sai stood up and walked to the door.
"I will not fail. I never do. But I'll humor you, what makes you think Sasuke and Naruto are good matches? Hm? What makes them so perfect?"
"Perfection has no factor in this," Lyn began.
"It's all about imperfection," Kira finished.
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Ino was pumped. She had on the sweetest lip gloss she owned, an armful of daisies (Sakura's favorite flowers that she adores getting), and the thrill of the challenge in her chest thumping away. Today was the day Ino would ask Sakura. No more concern for sexual orientations or broken friendship. She was done waiting for Sakura, besides it seemed fitting that Ino be dominant anyway. She counted her footsteps as she approached Sakura's house. The answer 'no' wasn't even in her cards today.
"Saku-! ...Sakura?" Ino paused.
Sakura was curled up against her front door with her arms hugging her knees. Tears dripped down her face.
"Go away Ino-pig! Just...leave me alone..." Sakura said as she buried her face in her arms.
"Sakura...who did this?" Ino demanded.
"Why do you care!?" Sakura shouted.
'Because you're crying...' Ino thought.
"Because I do, shouldn't that be enough?" she said calmly as she sat beside Sakura.
Sakura's eyes emerged and she took in Ino.
Ino's pale blue eyes glittered softly in the sunlight. Her gently toned arms looked like a safe haven and Sakura had the urge to collapse in them.
'She looks so beautiful...she must be on her way to see someone...' Sakura thought.
"No one wants me, especially Sasuke," Sakura said bitterly.
Ino saw her chance.
"That's not true...I'm sure someone wants you," Ino smiled.
"Really? Who?"
"Someone." Ino repeated.
"Do I know this person?" Sakura tested.
"Well, yes," Ino's eyes lit up.
"Is this person and I not extremely close at the moment?"
"Yes!" Ino said inching closer to Sakura.
"You don't have to say anything more!"
"Good because I've been wanting to tell you-"
"Now nothing can stop me from my plan to get Sasuke!"
Ino's grin faded.
"What?"
"That's who you're hinting at, right?" Sakura squealed.
Ino paused as she considered an answer.
"You really are in love with Sasuke, aren't you?"
"Very much so," Sakura sighed.
"Y'know, there's a difference between being in love with someone and loving them," Ino said as she plucked a petal from one of the daisies.
"Oh? But like anyone could love me, right?" Sakura laughed as she attempted friendliness.
Ino stood up and brushed the hair away from Sakura's face. Sakura's cheeks turned the softest shade of pink.
"I'm sure someone does, Sakura, I'm sure someone does," Ino said before walking away.
The courage that had propelled Ino earlier turned into a heavy sadness that slowed her to an upright crawl. There were many thoughts Ino could have thought about but all she had on her mind was that Sakura was so hyped about Sasuke that she hadn't even noticed the flowers.
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Lyn: Even if she is pink, how can she be so blind!?
Kira: Oh, hello Lyn. -Scowl-
Lyn: Hello! -Grin-
Kira: And where is Jeffery?
Lyn: Who?
Kira: The jar.
Lyn: I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.
Kira: MY COLD!
Lyn: Oh, yeah. Well here's a funny story. We were walking and talking and -ah- ach- ACHOO!
Kira: Lyn! You didn't!
Lyn: Oh but I did! I took your cold out to my secret box, laid it down in bed and made it mine! And I'd do it again!
Kira: WHY, LYN, WHY!?
Lyn: BWAHAHAHAHA -cough- -gag- -cough- Pain killers! I need pain killers and soda!
Kira: Seems Jeffery left you with a disease.
Lyn: That bastard! I didn't know he could contaminate me! After all the things we did together!
Kira: Well, he was a cold...what exactly did you do with Jeffery? Hmmmm?
Lyn:...uh...Ja -achoo- ne!