Chapter 4

10th December. School Grounds. 4PM.

Draco had hardly noticed the foreboding dark clouds visible above the Forbidden Forest when he had decided to take a walk around the school grounds. He didn't care either. He couldn't deny to himself that the inhabitants of the wood scared him, there was always something alluring about its mystery. He walked parallel to its boundary, glancing in cautiously hoping to catch sight of any inhabitants, even though he knew none would dare come this close to the school grounds. It oozed sadness from the pores of its lonely, blossomless trees and dusty, undisturbed ground, wallowing in its isolation and desolateness. Draco wondered how long it had been since the ground was last trodden upon. No student dared cross its barrier, the groundskeeper would always use the same familiar routes, and no magical beasts dared encroach upon its boundaries. The temptation to mark it was unforgiving, unrelenting, undying. To know that he could mark his own path where no other would, traverse ground on his own path without knowing he was merely following in the footsteps of another.

He could resist no longer. Cautiously, carefully, but determinedly, Draco stepped towards the woodland. He placed his hand, tactfully, so that he could draw his wand and defend himself if anything was to attack. Nothing did. With every step, Draco relished in the sound of leaves and branches crunching underfoot, knowing that such sounds had not passed this stagnant air in so long. He imagined it to be an eternity. The sound of water hitting the leaves above him created a beautiful, refreshing symphony. He planted his feet firmly into the damp ground, leaving clear, satisfying prints of the underside of his trainers in the mud. He closed his eyes and let his senses guide him, his arms stretched out in front, pushing against the hard bark of trees, brushing along branches of leaves, pricking his fingers on thorns. The fresh woodland air filled his nostrils, elated him, and carried him somewhere non-corporeal, where he felt he could soar free and independently like the phoenix he had seen in Dumbledore's office. He ran in circles, zigzags and all manner of shapes, feeling his feet pressing the fresh trails into the ground. He smiled, and soared.

The sound of a cracking branch underfoot from somewhere behind him brought Draco back to reality. His eyes bolted open as he drew his wand and felt his blank, euphoric mind deteriorate as it filled again with knowledge of incantations, defences and tactics.

'Draco?'

The Irish twang of Seamus's voice carried through the air, making it instantly recognisable even against the deafening sound of heavy rain. Draco turned and saw Seamus, soaked to the skin, crossing the boundary into the forest. He was dressed in his uniform, and the white of his shirt had become translucent in the rainwater, revealing the skin of his torso. He was shivering. Draco looked away and started kicking, gently, at the root of a tree.

'What are you doing here, Finnigan?'

'I've been looking for you all day. Neville said he'd seen you leaving the castle about half an hour ago. What are you doing out here?'

'What business is it of yours, Gryffindor?'

Seamus sighed. 'Draco.'

'Fuck you, Finnigan. What I do with my time is none of your concern.'

'Listen', said Seamus, 'about yesterday. Was that you? I mean- in the library.'

Draco said nothing. He kept kicking the base of the tree, chipping bark from its surface with the toe of his shoe.

'It's just...' Seamus took torn piece of shirt from his pocket. '... I'm sure that I... I just wondered... I didn't...'

'Didn't you hear me? I said fuck off. I've got better things to do than listen you your pathetic ramblings.' Draco clenched his fist. 'I wasn't in the library yesterday. I overslept, went to Umbridge's Dark Arts lesson, then went back to the Common Room. Now leave me alone.'

'I just thought that...'

'You thought wrong, Gryffindor. You thought wrong.'

Seamus paused for a second, and then moved forward to Draco while stuffing the fabric back in his pocket. He put a hand on Malfoy's back. The rainwater on his hand soaked through Draco's shirt onto his bare skin. 'Draco I...'

'Everte Statum!'

Draco's voice was determined, and anguished. Seamus was thrown backwards through the air, and then collapsed in a heap on the ground. Damp mud plastered his left side. A single raindrop battled its way through the leafy cover above their heads and landed on Draco's face, followed by another, and another. The thick darkness almost hid the castle completely from view, but neither student had any intention of returning yet.

'You shouldn't have come here,' said Draco. He closed his eyes, gripped the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb, then turned and looked at Seamus. He was still lay on the ground. Draco could feel his heart pounding in his chest. 'I...- I didn't mean to hurt you. I...'

'Yes, you did, Malfoy.' Slowly, painfully, Seamus climbed to his feet.

'I... I'm sorry.'

'No, you're not.'

'Listen, Cho's probably waiting for you back up in the castle. You should go back.'

'I don't want to see Cho.'

'I know how you feel about her. You should be with her.'

'I don't want to be with her, Malfoy.'

'But I thought you two were...' Draco paused. It pained him to say the word. 'Together.'

'Together? Me and Cho? Why would you think that?'

'I saw you two. In the library. You kissed her.'

'She kissed me.'

'It doesn't matter. You kissed. You told her you liked her. I heard you, so don't lie to me and say you're not together, that you don't care about her, that you don't love her.'

'Malfoy I... I don't want her. She asked me if I wanted to go to the Winter Ball with her. I said yes and it just... happened. I'm just trying to be normal.'

'Well, you're not normal, Finnigan. You're not.'

Finnigan furrowed his brow, and spoke with a deeper, angrier tone. 'Hey, you can't give me a lecture about trying to be normal. Don't you remember how you spoke to me in Potions? Scared of being shown up by all your little Slytherin friends? You humiliated me. I cared about you, Draco, and you spat it back in my face.'

He walked towards Draco, staring into his eyes. Malfoy could see nothing but resentment in them. Seamus reached into his pocket. Draco braced himself, waiting for Seamus to draw his wand and hit him back; take his revenge for how he'd treated him. Instead, he saw him pull a torn piece of fabric from his pocket, which he then threw at Draco's feet.

'Fuck you, Malfoy.'

Draco watched on, speechless, as Seamus turned and walked away. He reached down and picked the fabric from the floor. It was the torn piece of his shirt, still warm from being held so close to Finnigan's body. He couldn't believe it; Seamus had kept the fabric. He'd carried it with him. He really did care. In that second, Draco abhorred himself for what he had done. He had driven away somebody that had cared about him, he had chosen his family name over his own desires, he had betrayed himself. He was ashamed.

The rain was getting even heavier. Crashes of thunder roared overhead. Jagged lightning tore across the sky, like it tore through Malfoy's soul. He broke into a run, hoping Seamus hadn't gotten too far. He didn't know whether it was raindrops or tears on his face, but he didn't care either. They seeped into his eyes and blurred his vision. The darkness prevented him seeing anything more than a few paces in front of him.

He shouted out into the darkness, 'Finnigan! Stop!'

There was no reply.

'Seamus!'

He kept running, desperately. He had no idea if he was going in the right direction anymore. He clawed out in the darkness, praying that his hand would find Seamus. Praying that he could forgive him. There was nobody there. His feet could carry him no longer as he scrambled madly in a paroxysm of sorrow. There was nobody there.

'Draco?'

Draco felt a hand touch his back. He turned, and saw Seamus looking back at him. A smile crept across Seamus's face and he opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, Draco kissed him. He kissed him with the conviction of a lover, like his dying act, like he wished to do nothing else in the world but kiss him. Seamus threw his arms around him and felt him trembling. Draco was cold, so cold, but in Seamus's arms his heart was warm, and he was safe.

They embraced, hidden away from the world, hidden away from all else. Here, they knew that they were normal, and they were cared for, because they were together. Draco went to kiss Seamus again, but he backed his head away a little so he could speak.

'Thank you, Draco.'

Draco looked into his eyes again, and saw no resentment. He saw nothing but the eyes of his lover, the eyes he wanted to see forevermore. A smile crept across Draco's face, and he began to laugh. He held Seamus closer. He rested his head on Seamus's chest, and closed his eyes.

'Thank you, Seamus.'

Together, they stood. On the cusp of the Forbidden Forest, in the rain, in the darkness, and they laughed. And they loved.

15th December. Charms Corridor. 10.55AM.

Luckily for Seamus, Professor Flitwick was running late, so he was able to join the rest of the class without anybody noticing. He and Draco had snuck off to the boys' bathroom after Transfiguration, and he had been worried that everyone would start to suspect something when the two students arrived late together. As inconspicuously as possible, he shuffled through the crowd and joined his fellow Gryffindors near the front of the queue. Draco followed a few minutes after and joined his Slytherin friends at the opposite end of the corridor. They exchanged a quick smile, acknowledging each other's presence, but nothing more.

'Hey you!' announced the voice of Cho Chong, as she rushed up to Seamus and hugged him. She greeted many of her friends this way, but, for some reason, Seamus felt like it was wrong. He looked to Draco, praying that he hadn't seen, and luckily he hadn't. He was embroiled in some discussion with his friends, probably mocking the rest of the class for being so eager to get into the lesson that they stood around the door.

'Hey,' said Cho, 'what's up with you?'

'Nothing. Why?'

'You didn't even say hello! I would've thought you'd been glad to see me, especially now I'm your date.'

'To the ball, yeah.' Seamus wondered whether he should've have added an 'only' in there, just to make it clear that they were still just friends, but Cho wasn't acting any different to usual. He just hoped that she wasn't taking their kiss too seriously. Draco was clearly the focus of attention in his friends as they all laughed loudly in response to something he said. Seamus wished he could hear.

'What's up with you today? You seem... distracted.'

'S-sorry,' Seamus stuttered. 'I'm still not sleeping that well.' He pulled his eyes away from Malfoy and looked at Cho.

'It's not Malfoy again is it? He's not giving you more trouble?'

'No, no. Nothing like that.'

'You're acting awful strange today, Seamus,' she said, with a chuckle. He chuckled too.

'Good morning, class!' announced the cheery voice of Professor Flitwick, who Seamus could hear but not see. When not stood on his perch at the front of the classroom, Flitwick was usually obscured from vision because he was so short. The sound of the classroom door unlocking revealed his position, and Seamus slowly made his way in along with the crowd. Except for the Slytherins, of course, who had to enter last.

Finnigan examined the classroom, looking for vacant seats where he and his friends could fit. Suddenly, Cho grabbed a hold of his hand.

'Come on, let's get the seats at the back!' She led him off towards the back of the classroom, dragging him with a surprising amount of force. She laughed loudly as she made her way to the seats she had decided on, her walk almost becoming a skip. 'I think I've chosen my gown for the ball. Have you chosen your suit?'

'No, not yet I haven't.'

'Seamus!', she said, hitting him playfully in the chest. 'It's only a week away! What if your owl gets sick and can't deliver it on time? What if...'

She was interrupted by the laughing of the Slytherins as they entered the classroom. Draco, the ringleader, was looking at Blaise and laughing. His eyes looked across the classroom, searching for clusters of free seats. His eyes met Finnigan's, then Cho's, then Finnigan's again. Seamus's stomach churned. He flashed a smile at Draco, even though he knew their arrangement forbade it. Draco wasn't looking any more though, as he had moved to the opposite side of the room to take his seat with his friends.

The hour was awkward, with a combination of Cho asking Seamus what was wrong and then pestering him about the ball, Flitwick trying to teach the group a charm that was too difficult, and Draco ever so often turning around and catching Finnigan's eye. He desperately awaited the lesson to end so he could be with Draco again, and make sure he was okay. As soon as Flitwick dismissed them, Seamus jumped from his seat ready to leave.

'Fancy coming for lunch?' asked Cho, with a broad smile across her face.

'No, I've got someplace to be. I'll catch you later, okay?' Seamus started heading for the door, until Cho grabbed his arm.

'Woah, woah. Where are you off to in such a hurry? Don't I get a kiss before you go?'

'I, uh...-'

Cho stepped up to Seamus and pecked him on the lips. He stared at her blankly.

'Listen, Cho we... we can't...'

Seamus glanced around the room, trying to piece together the words in his head. How could he tell her that he didn't want to be with her? How could he reject her, giving no excuse, no reason? Across the room, he saw Draco staring at him. Oh no, thought Seamus Did he see it? Did he see everything? Draco walked out of the room.

'Listen, Cho, I've gotta go. I'll catch you later.' Seamus left, almost in a run, chasing Draco from the room. He battled his way through the other students trying to fit through the doorway, but by the time he reached the corridor Draco was heading around the corner at the opposite end. He broke into a sprint, chasing desperately after him.

'Draco! Draco, wait!'

He rushed around the corner, where Draco had stopped running and was waiting for him. The corridor was empty, and led to nothing but a dead end. They paused for a second, then jumped at each other, both kissing the other passionately. Seamus ran his fingers through Draco's perfect hair, and ran his other hand down Draco's side. Draco pushed him against the wall, biting at his lip, and then kissing him again.

15th December. Charms Corridor. 12.00PM.

'What was up with him today, Cho?' asked Neville, who joined her in watching Seamus run from the classroom.

'I don't know,' she replied, 'but I'm gonna find out.'

Quickly, she packed her quill and ink bottle away in her bag and started after Seamus. Rushing for the doorway, she bumped into Neville and shouted her apologies back to him. Bursting out into the corridor, she looked in both directions for any sign of Seamus, but the crowds of other students leaving classrooms obscured her vision. She leant herself against the wall, defeatedly, until the sound of running footsteps echoed in her ears. Somebody was running down the corridor, down to the dead end that used to be the entrance to the Charms Lab until it was shut down for repairs after an accident with one of the first years and a bad Incendio spell. Slowly, she made her way down, cursing herself for being so distrusting.

'I'm really sorry', said a male voice. A male voice that she recognised as Seamus's.

'I know. I know you didn't mean to. I mean, what could you do?', said another male voice. She didn't recognise it.

'She practically threw herself at me. I didn't know what to do. Or say.'

Cho felt herself scowling. She moved closer to the corner in the corridor, preparing to jump out and shout at Seamus for leading her on.

'It's okay. She doesn't know. It's probably for the best – nobody suspects anything.' Something about the second male voice sounded familiar. Cho did recognise it, but she couldn't place whose it was.

'I know,' said Seamus, 'I feel bad'n'all, but what could I say?'

Cho thought of plenty of things that she could say, starting with plenty of swear words and then a firm kick in the shin, or worse. The thought was so satisfying that she let out the tiniest involuntary giggle, then clasped her hands over her mouth and closed her eyes tight.

The two male voices hushed each other. Cho could hear them moving closer to the corner. She stepped to the edge, as silently as she could, and hid behind the pillarstone that formed the corner, keeping her obscured from the view of the corridor.

'Hello?' said Seamus, loudly. He waited a few seconds, then moved back around the corner. 'Can't see anybody,' he said to the other boy.

'When will I see you again?' questioned the other voice.

'After lunch?'

'Can't; I have to go finish my Transfiguration reading. How about later? Say, six-ish?'

Silently, Cho stepped away from the pillarstone, and tried to work out from the voices how far down the next corridor they were. She wondered if she could poke her head around without them noticing.

'Yeah, six-ish sounds good. I don't have any plans', said Seamus.

She had to know who it was. She had to know what was going on. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she could feel herself twitching from the adrenalin running through her body. Gently manoeuvring herself forward she edged herself along the pillar, letting one eye see down the corridor.

'Okay, six-ish it is. I'll be outside the Great Hall.'

Cho looked on in horror as she saw Seamus reach forward and run two fingers gently through Draco Malfoy's blonde hair, then bring them down to his cheek and pull his face closer until their lips met. She felt the tears gathering in her eyes. She pulled her hand to her mouth, trying desperately not to sob, as she watched Seamus and Malfoy move their faces away from one another and smile as they looked into each other's eyes. They beamed happiness, feeding her the sickness of misery inside her.

Slowly, silently, she backed around the corner and took her place again behind the pillar, obscured from view. There she waited, in complete silence, listening to Seamus and Malfoy kiss before they started to walk away. They passed her, but she knew they wouldn't see her. They were too caught up in their secret, in their love, to notice one insignificant, worthless girl. As they headed out of sight, Cho felt her legs weakening. She clutched at her stomach as, slowly, she let her back slide down the pillar until she was sad at the floor.

There, she sobbed, in silence.

15th December. Great Hall. 5.50PM.

'Hey Seamus, where did you go in such a hurry earlier?' asked Neville.

'Oh, nowhere special,' replied Seamus, having perfected his excuse earlier. 'I just... left something important in the Potions room and wanted to pick it up before Snape locked up for the night.'

'Are you off again?' Seamus was putting his jacket on.

'Yeah, I've just got a couple of things to do before lights out'.

Seamus looked to Cho, who was staring blankly at a copy of Quidditch Through The Ages by Kennilworthy Whisp. 'You okay, Cho?'

She didn't reply.

'Hey, Cho? I asked if you're okay?'

'Oh, sorry', she replied. Her voice was distinctly lacking her usual assertiveness. 'I'm fine, yeah. Where are you going?'

'Just out.'

'Oh.'

Her bluntness was alarming, but Seamus had bigger things to worry about, namely where him and Draco would be able to hide without being noticed. He started walking for the door. Cho sighed and put her book down.

'Seamus, wait a minute.' She climbed from her seat and rushed over to him. 'I was just wondering if you fancied helping me practice some spells? It's just I have this Transfiguration exam in a couple of days and I'm a bit worried.'

'Oh, Cho, y'know I would but I've gotta...'

'Please?'

Seamus could see the sorrow in her eyes. He felt an immeasurably guilt weigh him down, sinking him into the ground. 'Um, how's tomorrow? We could go outside in the sun. More space, y'know.'

Cho was looking straight into Seamus's eyes. Her eyes almost looked teary. She looked past him and saw Draco walk into the Great Hall. Seamus turned around and saw him, then looked back to her. She looked at him, then at Draco again, then back to him.

'Yeah, you have more important things to attend to. Or is that more important people?'

'Cho, wha...-' Cho pushed Seamus out of the way, and ran down the hall towards Draco. He moved out of her way, as she charged past. Seamus followed her, but stopped next to Draco. They looked at each other, both silently acknowledging that he had to go after her. Seamus shook his head apologetically, then ran off after the Ravenclaw before she got out of sight.

'Cho, wait!' he shouted as she ran, hysterically, down the staircase into the dungeon. The sound of her crying echoed off the walls, filling Seamus's ears with an unbearable guilt. Eventually, her pace slowed, and he was able to catch up. He put her hand on her arm. 'Cho, I'm sorry.'

She turned to him with malice in her eyes, and pushed him away so hard that he hit the wall. She walked towards him, a fury burning inside her, and punched him hard in the shoulder. He winced in pain.

'You betray me, you use me, you laugh at me behind my back, and you do it without showing the least bit of remorse. You're disgusting, Seamus.' She kicked him hard in the shin, causing him to fall to the ground. 'You're a disgusting human being.'

'I'm... I didn't mean to... I was only...'

'Shut up. You told me you liked me.' Cho's voice became filled with sadness, cracking as tears fell from her eyes. 'You kissed me!'

Cho turned and started to walk away, back toward the staircase. The noise of Seamus whimpering was all that stopped her. She turned and looked at him, determined not to lose her front. He lay on the floor clutching his left shoulder with his arm. His other arm was wrapped around his knees. His face was pressed against them, sobbing. Footsteps echoed of somebody approaching, but Seamus didn't move. Two Slytherin first years walked around the corner and saw him curled up on the floor, sobbing.

They began taunting him and laughing to each other. One of them kicked him again in the side. Cho looked on, half of her wanting to defend Seamus, the other half wanting to join in.

'Expelliarmus!' announced the voice of Draco Malfoy as he descended the stairs to the dungeons. One of the two first years was thrown backwards onto the floor. 'You two need to learn to mind your own business. You'll be out of here before I reach you if you have any common sense.' They scarpered at the sight of the feared Malfoy, rushing away down the corridor. Draco rushed over to the injured Seamus and held him. 'It's okay, I'm sorry. I wasn't here for you. I should have been here.'

Cho looked on in silence.

Seamus lifted his tear-marked face. Draco brushed them away with his thumb and then smiled as a couple of tears fell from his own eyes. 'Come on, let's go.'

'No,' winced Seamus, struggling to speak after having been winded by the kick. 'Draco, I need to do this alone. I can't do this to her.'

Draco looked at him again, smiled, kissed him on the lips, and then helped him to his feet. Cho approached them, and supported Seamus from the opposite side.

'Malfoy,' she said, timidly, 'won't those boys tell everyone else what you did?'

'Probably.'

'But, your reputation.' Cho's voice was confused and bewildered, with undertones of anger still causing her to grit her teeth.

'I can rebuild a reputation. Seamus can't rebuild a broken rib quite as quickly.'

Seamus chuckled. So did Cho, though she admonished herself for doing so.

'Listen,' said Seamus to Draco. 'I'll catch up with you later. I need to talk to Cho.'

Draco nodded, then headed off into the dungeons, back toward the Slytherin Common Room. Seamus couldn't help but feel guilty for the damage he'd done to Draco's reputation, but at the minute he had to worry about Cho. She helped him ascend the stairs, then they found a bench together, away from anybody else, overlooking the courtyard.

'Listen, Cho...'

'I know, Seamus. I know about you two. I saw you.'

'Oh Cho, I'm so sorry.'

'Listen,' she said, 'what you did was wrong.'

'I know. I wanted to tell you so badly.'

'Well, you should have. You hurt me, Seamus. You really hurt me.'

'I wish I could take it all back. I wish everything could be like it was before all this happened.'

'No you don't,' said Cho, allowing Seamus to rest on her shoulder, and kissing him gently on the head, 'you two might never have found each other. When I first found out, I was furious. I was disgusted. I felt ashamed. But, that's before I understood. What you two have... that's something special, Seamus. I'm happy for you, even if it did mean I got hurt.'

'I wish it hadn't been you. I've ruined everything. You won't want to even be my friend anymore.'

'In a weird way, I'm glad it was me.' Seamus lifted her head and looked at her. 'Because, otherwise I wouldn't have found out today. It means so much to me to know that you're happy. To know that you have somebody. Even if that somebody is Malfoy.'

Seamus chuckled. 'You don't know him like I do, Cho. He is caring, underneath that exterior. He resents everything his family makes him stand for. He really does.'

'I know. Somehow, I know. I saw that today, the way he saved you, the way he cares for you.'

They didn't feel that anything more needed to be said. Seamus still felt guilt for the pain he had put her through, but he was so happy. He and Cho sat and watched: they looked out over the courtyard as the evening approached. This tiny spot of beauty held in the palm of Hogwarts. Amongst its rivalries, its enemies, its anguishes and hard times, this beautiful place lives on.

'Cho?'

'Yes?'

'Can we still go to the Ball together?'

'Yes.'

'... As friends?'

'Yes, as friends, Seamus.'

He smiled, and rested his head on her shoulder again.