Kira: So today, Lyn and I are going to discuss the importance of-
Lyn: Druken moose!
Kira: ...what? No, we were going to talk about-
Lyn: NO, KIRA, DRUNKEN MOOSE! -points-
Drunken Moose: ...
Kira: O.o
Lyn: D:
Drunken Moose: ...blehhhh...
Lyn: IT SPEAKS!
Kira: D: Quick, Lyn, say it!
Lyn: TO THE STORY!
"What do you mean, 'he's gone'?" Naruto asked, panting from the run back to his house.
"He's gone, Naruto. He left." Lyn stated blankly.
"But- well, where's the note?" Naruto asked expectantly.
"Note?" Kira asked.
"Yeah, he always leaves me a note. Except for last time, but that's because he went on vacation...this must be a business call, so where's the note?" Naruto repeated.
Lyn took Naruto by the arm and led him inside. Kira began serving up breakfast.
"Why aren't you guys answering me?" Naruto asked.
They both sat down at the table with him. They had solemn looks on their faces.
"Naruto-kun-" Kira began.
"It's time you knew the truth." Lyn finished.
Meanwhile, Sasuke had decided to clear his head. He had taken a walk to try and figure out how to apologize to Naruto. He wanted to make things right. As he walked, he found himself in front of Sakura's house.
'Stupid bitch.' he thought to himself.
He continued to stare at her door.
'Still, maybe...for Naruto's sake.'
He cringed at the idea but approached the door. He knocked three times and waited for a minute. He was about to walk away when he was answered. However, Ino stood on the other end.
"What do you want douche bag?" she snarled.
Sasuke gave her an icy look.
"I'd like to talk to Sakura, of what concern is it to you?" he asked.
"I'm her girlfriend, dumb ass."
Surprised as he was, Sasuke instead smirked at her.
"Well, congratulations." he replied.
Sakura appeared from behind Ino and waved hello shyly.
"May I?" he asked politely, as politely as a stone faced emo kid could be as far as Ino was concerned anyway.
Ino glared but stepped aside to let him in. Before leaving them in privacy, she went up to his ear.
"You make her cry and I'll cut your balls off." Ino threatened.
Sasuke didn't even flinch. He simply shrugged and then sat across from Sakura. Now, Sasuke Uchiha has been responsible for many an awkward silence. He chooses to ignore these prolonged periods of lacking conversation due to the fact that he doesn't want there to be any conversation. But let the record show that Sasuke is capable of attempting discussion.
"So, you're a lesbian now?" he asked.
He's just not very good at it.
"Y-yeah. I guess. W-what do you want?" Sakura stuttered nervously.
'Good lord, she's like a shaking pink chihuahua. What does she think I'm going to do?'
Sasuke reached forward to adjust the magazine on the table as it was offcenter. Sakura jumped.
'Okay then.' Sasuke thought. 'Geez, is she ever going to just treat me like a human being? I'm just a guy. An incredibly good looking, intelligent, and rich guy but a guy none the less. And a gay one at that. She thinks I'm going to make a move or someth- hm...'
Sasuke had an idea. It was a terrible idea because the chances of the desired outcome, when based upon all past fact and statistics (number of times stalked multiplied by number of notebooks with his name written in them plus every single freaking "SASUKE-KUUUUN!", carry the two and the four...), were low. However, Sasuke felt confident in the fact that if it didn't work Sakura's infatuation couldn't possibly get any worse, and that if it did work he could maybe get Sakura to a mental state where the two of them could get along. Maybe. Tolerating at the very least.
'Thank god I don't eat, otherwise I'd feel nauseous. Oh well, for Naruto.' He thought.
Sasuke took the jittery pink haired nuisance by the shoulders, took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and planted one on her. (A/N: A FIST! :D No, no, a kiss. DAMN! D:)
Sasuke pulled away quickly from Sakura and the two stared at one another for a moment.
"Feel anything?" Sasuke finally asked.
Sakura touched her face, then hair, then chest, as if checking for signs.
"...no, actually, I didn't." Sakura answered.
"Good, can you be normal around me now?" Sasuke asked.
Sakura paused and then laughed lightly.
"Yeah, I guess I can." she laughed, "A bit of a bummer though, I spent most of my life thinking that back there would be the highlight but it wasn't. It was...awkward..."
Sasuke nodded and then stood up to leave but Sakura ran up to him.
"Thank you!" she said a bit over excitedly, "Thanks. Thank you for clearing up my doubts," she smiled and stuck out her hand.
Sasuke looked at it with a bit of discomfort but then smiled. He shook her hand gently.
"You're welcome, Sakura," Sasuke said before leaving.
Sakura smiled to herself as she closed the door. It was bittersweet to know that she had wasted so much time but that she wasn't going to waste anymore. She felt more eager now to begin this relationship with Ino. She wanted to celebrate.
Unfortunately for Sakura...
"SAKURA!" Ino shouted.
Sakura winced.
"HOW COULD YOU LET THAT INCREDIBLE PIG KISS YOU! I'LL KILL HIM! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! YOU DON'T GO KISSING ANYBODY ELSE! YOU HEAR ME! MAN OR WOMAN! YOU JUST-"
"Kiss me!" Sakura shouted.
"Wh-what?" Ino said, as if the bomb that was her rage had somehow been disabled in the middle of exploding.
"C'mon Ino pig! Screaming isn't very attractive so are you just going to stand there and yell all day or are you going to kiss me?" Sakura flirted.
Ino let the anger fizzle out and she embraced Sakura.
"Yeah, I knew I'd get you to come around." Sakura joked.
Ino pressed her lips against Sakura's...
...hilariously at the same moment Sakura's mother, not informed of this entire lesbian ordeal, got out of bed to make herself some breakfast.
Naruto sat back at his kitchen, his food untouched. He was in shock.
"So you're assassins...?" he asked.
"Ex assassins," the girls replied.
"And you were hired by my teacher, Kakashi, to get me and Sasuke together?"
"Uh-huh."
"And Sasuke's older brother, and my older brother, and Sai are also assassins?"
"Pretty much."
Naruto dropped his head. Lyn and Kira looked at each other. They'd been afraid of Naruto's reaction. They feared it but they figured that enough was enough and he had to hear the truth if this was really going to be their home. They had prepared for the worst, even if the worst was having to leave.
"Are you mad?" Kira asked.
"That is- is"
"We're sorry, Naruto." Lyn replied.
"Sorry?" Naruto still wouldn't look up.
"Naruto-kun, we meant well." Kira added.
"It's- it's fucking awesome!" Naruto exclaimed as he looked up.
"...what?" the girls asked in unison.
Naruto's blue eyes seemed to glimmer as he stood up in a heroic pose.
"Love and death? Assassins? Fugitives? If I had any idea that my life was this interesting I would have been way more happy as a kid! When I found out that I even had an older brother, Sai told me that he'd been killed in some freak hunting accident! But an assassin? Fucking awesome," his grin seemed endless, "You guys are fucking awesome."
The girls sat in silence, in total shock and awe before turning to one another.
"WAHHHHHHH!"
Naruto sat dumbstruck at the two comedically crying girls.
"Is fucking awesome not a compliment to assassins?" Naruto asked, slightly confused.
"Oh! Naruto!" Kira said as she flung her arms around the boy.
"Naruto! You-" she sniffled, "you- dumb ass!" Lyn added as she followed suit.
Naruto felt awkward underneath all the tears and female body parts.
"What's wrong with you two?" he asked.
"We thought you were going to hateded us!" Kira wailed.
"And kick us out of your apartment that we so painstakingly CLEANED!" Lyn sobbed.
Naruto laughed and pulled the girls into his arms.
"You guys, I don't care what you were or how you came to be here. I'm just glad you are. You're, like, my family. I've never had a family." Naruto smiled sweetly.
"WE'VE NEVER HAD FAMILIES EITHER!" the girls cried out loudly.
Naruto laughed, "I've never seen you two so emotional. It's kind of funny."
Naruto chuckled as he tried to comfort his blubbering roommates. Eventually, they began to calm down but they remained in the cuddling position. Naruto suddenly got quiet as he lost himself in thought.
"So, then, he's really gone." he thought out loud.
Kira nodded as Lyn spoke.
"Yeah, I'm afraid he is."
"I tried to get him to stay," Kira offered, "I even beat the shit out of him!"
"Fucking scary as hell too," Lyn whispered into Naruto's ear, "but don't let her know I said that."
"I'm sorry, Naruto, I don't think either Lyn or I helped very much with Sai."
The girls gave Naruto a light squeeze.
"He said that he left because he loved you. He wants to make sure that you, and Kira, and Sasuke and I are all safe here in Konoha." Lyn said.
Naruto brought his hands up to his face.
"He's an idiot," Naruto whimpered, "He's a stupid idiot."
"He has to do what he feels he needs to do, Naruto. He's sacraficing the comforts of home for you. For us. For everybody." Kira explained.
"Is he- is he ever going to come back?" he said, "He always comes back."
Lyn and Kira looked at one another before Lyn answered.
"We don't know, kid, we don't know."
Sasuke had ended up back in his room. He stared at his walls intently. Itachi had told him not to be selfish but all he's ever known was selfish. Sasuke wanted to make Naruto happy but he didn't want want to love somebody who didn't love him back. Sasuke was all too aware of what that could do to a person, considering that he'd neglected to reciprocate many a girl's feelings. Still, he had tried to do something for Naruto today. As much as he had grown a burning hatred for the pink haired girl, Naruto liked her and now Sasuke and her could sit next to each other and the girl could act normal, well as normal as she can get.
'But that won't get him to love me' Sasuke thought to himself.
Sasuke needed advice, black and white blunt advice. He picked up his phone and dialed Lyn.
"Hello?' Lyn asked.
"Lyn," Sasuke greeted, "I need some- I need to talk."
"I don't know, Sasuke. There's a bit of a family emergency going on." Lyn tried to excuse herself.
"What?" Sasuke stood up instantly, "Is Naruto okay? Is he hurt?"
"Well he's not injured," Lyn said, "Neither am I and neither is Kira in case you're wondering," she finished sarcastically.
"Kira?" Sasuke asked, not sure of the name.
"Yes, Kira! You know, red hair, big boobs?" Lyn shouted.
Sasuke sat in silence trying to recall. Lyn sighed.
"The one who's attatched to my hip? Always real warm and bubbly?"
Again, silence was on the other end of the line.
"I SIT NEXT TO NARUTO, YOU ASSHOLE!" Kira shouted as she took over Lyn's phone.
"Oh, right. The warm one." Sasuke concluded.
The girls groaned.
"I've got you on speaker, what do you need?" Lyn asked.
"Make it quick, we're trying to address a situation, okay?" Kira added.
Sasuke laid back on his bed.
"You sure Naruto's okay?" he asked.
"He's a little upset-" Kira began.
"-but he'll be fine. Now what is it?" Lyn finished.
"First tell me what happened." Sasuke demanded.
"Sai left." Kira anwered.
'Sai,' Sasuke thought, 'Right. He's that guy who came around the same time Itachi did. He helped looked after Naruto. Right around the time I came out...'
"Sai leaves often." Sasuke stated.
"We don't know if he's coming back, Sasuke. And he didn't tell Naruto goodbye." Kira furthered.
'So that's it?' Sasuke thought, 'Sure, get all depressed over your on again off again care taker but I bet if I were to disappear then-'
"So what is it, Sasuke?" Lyn asked.
"Does..." Sasuke felt embarrassed for a minute.
"Does what?" Kira chimed.
"Does..."
"Spit it out!" Lyn hissed.
"Look, I'm not going to chase after him if he doesn't want me to." Sasuke stated flatly, "Maybe he should just wait for Sai to come back."
There was dead silence on the other end.
"Hello?" Sasuke asked.
"You're selfish." Lyn replied.
'There it is again. Selfish.' Sasuke thought.
"Why?" he asked.
"Why? Because it isn't always about you. Did it ever cross your mind that maybe he's unsure because you haven't proven yourself yet?" Lyn asked, "Besides, if you really loved him, it wouldn't matter, you'd do what you could."
"You don't get it, Lyn" Sasuke tried to muster up a confession, "I'm-"
"Scared?" Kira offered. There was no reply so she continued, "Sasuke, it's okay to be a little frightened. It's not very comforting to think that he might not love you back but do you honestly think you can live with all that love in your heart when it's hidden the way it is? And if he does love you and he's waiting on you and you don't go after him, you're going to break his heart and yours."
"If you love someone, you give them every damn thing you can." Lyn affirmed.
"You try to make them happy when they're sad." Kira said.
"You try to fix their broken heart." Lyn alternated.
"Show him the way you feel, Sasuke. Something beyond words or sex or anything else you've tried." Kira added.
"In other words, pull your head out of your ass." Lyn finished.
Sasuke's line was dead silent for a few moments.
"I love Naruto." he said and then hung up.
Lyn stuffed her phone into her pocket as Kira looked at Naruto, who had been sitting in the room the entire time. They looked at the blonde boy expectantly. The boy had a dumbstruck look on his face.
"He loves me...".
Naruto got up slowly.
'All these years,' Naruto thought, 'All this time and-'
"He loves me." He said out loud again.
'He's always been there. Since I can remember we've been friends and-'
"He loves me."
Naruto walked towards his room.
'I left him. He came out of the closet, one step closer to say that-'
"He loves me."
'-and I ran from him. I abandoned him...that's why he's scared...because-'
"He loves me."
Naruto laid on his bed as he recalled memories of his younger self and Sasuke. It suddenly occured to him how oddly affectionate they were for a couple of little boys. Naruto suddenly remembered something, something from his childhood. He got off his bed and dug into a bookshelf and managed to retrieve a tattered, old, blue notebook. On the cover was Naruto's name in childish and nearly illegible hadnwriting. He flipped through the pages and read them.
'Oh my god-'
Naruto reached up to the photo of the two of them as children that he'd kept from earlier. He looked at it and the notebook.
'I loved Sasuke...I love Sasuke...I love him...'
Naruto remembered the conversation from last night and his heart skipped a beat.
"More than the stars."
Kira: The end!
Lyn: WHAT!
Kira: ...of the chapter...
Lyn: It'd better just be the end of the chapter! That would make a shitty ending if it was the whole thing!
Kira: But it's so fluffy!
Lyn: NOT GOOD ENOUGH! D:
Kira: ...Lyn, I sense something wrong...
Lyn: What?
Kira: Weren't we dealing with something?
Drunken Moose: ...-licks Lyn's face- bleeeehh...
Kira and Lyn: ...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Kira: Say it! Say it now!
Lyn: JA NE! D: