Apology

"Severus, my boy, to what do I owe the honor of your visit at this late hour?"

"Albus, I need to speak with you."

"I assumed that much, as you are not a man who would come by just to drink a cup of tea. So, what is this about? Please have a seat," Dumbledore invited.

Professor Snape seated himself in the chair opposite of Dumbledore and looked the older man right in the eyes. "It's about Harry."

"Oh yes, our young Mr. Potter. It seems he is a very bright and curious little boy. He overcame his difficulties at the beginning of the school year very quickly. Many of the staff are delighted with his progress and polite behavior," Albus proudly told the potions master.

"Yes, that may be, but he carries a dark secret behind his innocent appearance," Severus grumbled. He could barely stand the joyful mood of the headmaster, who happily sucked on a sherbet lemon.

At Severus' words the headmaster peered over the rims of his half moon spectacles, "What do you mean?"

"I mean that Harry has most likely been mistreated by his relatives!" Severus exclaimed, laying facts outright on the table.

"Mistreated? That is a very heavy assumption, Severus…"

"I'm aware of that, Albus, but I'm certain that I am right," Severus snapped.

Finally the headmaster became serious. He lowered the bowl filled with the lemon drops, which he was about to offer to Severus and gazed at him instead. Severus appeared very furious and Albus knew from experience that his young colleague was usually correct about his suspicions.

"Do you have any evidence at hand?"

Severus sighed. "I promised the boy that I wouldn't speak of what he said. But I knew I had to inform you. What do you know about these muggle relatives of Harry's?"

"Not a great deal, except that the safety of Lily's blood wards continued through Petunia Dursley. However, it never crossed my mind, that a mother would mistreat another baby. But if you are right, Severus, we will be facing a true dilemma, because Harry will lose that protection as soon as we take him away. Therefore, we must be certain."

Severus looked a bit afflicted. "He is afraid to speak of something. You should have seen him when I asked him if his relatives beat him; he cringed as far away as possible and apologized like a house elf who had spoken ill of his master."

Dumbledore looked pensively at Severus. "Unfortunately, without proof there is not much I can do."

"I know," Severus nearly snapped, bristling with anger and exasperation.

"Even with proof it won't be easy. With the protection gone, everyone who takes the boy in puts himself in danger, too."

"But if he really was beaten by his relatives, then I think it's worth the risk! What's the use of protection from the outside, when the danger is on the inside?"

"You are definitely right, Severus. But I need proof."

"And you will get it. There is no way I will let the boy return to those muggles," Severus said, determined.

Astonished, Albus raised an eyebrow. He never thought the day would come when Severus Snape would spend a moment worrying about Harry Potter.

Ooo

"Troll, troll! In the dungeon! I thought you should know!"

With these words, Professor Quirrell collapsed in the Great Hall during Halloween dinner.

Screaming students shot up from their places and ran in all directions, trying to escape from the Hall. Harry had no idea what was going on.

"What's a troll?" he asked Ron.

"Believe me, you don't want to know!" Ron answered, already pale in the face.

After Dumbledore instructed everyone to return to the dormitories by the lead of House prefects, Harry suddenly stopped on his way to the common room. He plucked Ron's sleeve.

"Hermione!" he whispered emphatically.

"What about her?" Ron snapped. He and the girl had a dispute, and Ron was still angry at her.

"She doesn't know about the troll! And she's alone!" Harry said, worried.

"You don't want to go back, do you?" Ron asked, his face drawn in shock.

But Harry didn't answer. Instead, he sprinted off in the direction of the girls' toilets. He'd overheard Pavarti Patil say that Hermione had been crying in a stall all afternoon.

Ooo

"Is it…dead?" Hermione asked in a shaky voice.

"No, he's just… kind of… knocked out, I think…" Harry said.

"Urgh… troll bogies!" Ron stated in disgust as Harry pulled his wand out of the troll's nose.

Harry looked as nauseated as Ron did and tried to get rid of it by wiping his wand on the troll's trousers. As he pocketed his wand, he heard hurried footsteps coming nearer. He looked at his friends. They both appeared to be as uncertain and nervous as Harry felt.

McGonagall burst into the girls' room with a bang, followed closely by Snape and Quirrell. While Quirrell took a seat on one of the toilets, hand over his heart and looking very much as if he were going to faint again, Snape looked the troll over before nodding toward McGonagall.

"Unconscious," he said.

McGonagall glared angrily at her students, demanding an explanation. Harry and Ron didn't know what to say, but suddenly Hermione started to talk. The boys exchanged surprised looks as they realized Hermione was lying to her teacher.

Then Harry's gaze fell on Snape's bloody leg. Appalled he glanced up into his professor's eyes. But Snape frowned angrily at the boy and hid his leg under the cloak. Harry wanted to know what happed, but before he got the chance to ask, McGonagall was suddenly giving Harry and Ron points for sheer luck.

Harry hadn't expected that. Nor did Ron or Snape.

Finally Professor McGonagall shooed the children out of the toilet to their dormitory. But Professor Snape placed a hand at Harry's shoulder and said, "A word, please, Mr. Potter."

"Severus, these children belong in their beds!"

"I'm aware of this. And I will make sure Potter arrives to his dormitory in one piece."

Harry shook his shoulder in an attempt to free himself, but his professor only grabbed his arm and pulled him along.

Ooo

"Sit!" Snape ordered as soon as he and Harry reached his office. Harry did as he was told and watched as Snape hobbled around his desk.

"What happed to your leg?" Harry asked, curious.

"That's none of your business!" Snape snapped.

Harry looked hurt but after a short moment asked, "Why am I here?"

"Because I want to know the whole story. Not the heroic—or shall I say ridiculous—version!"

"But it's true! We came to help Hermione. She wasn't at the dinner, and she didn't know about the troll!"

"Fine. But how did you know where Miss Granger was?"

"We overheard some girls at the dinner talking about Hermione hiding in the girls' toilet."

"Are you to tell me that Miss Granger actually missed dinner while hiding in the toilet?"

"Well… yeah," Harry began with a shrug. "She was sad…"

"Sad? Why?"

"Erm, Ron was angry at her and said something rude. Then she just disappeared for the rest of the day."

"And then you thought you could make up for this quarrel by informing her about the troll?"

"We couldn't leave her behind!"

"Why didn't you inform a prefect or a teacher?"

"We thought the troll was in the dungeon…like Professor Quirrell said, and we just wanted to get Hermione! But when we got there, we noticed that the troll was heading to toilet where she was hiding…"

"And why, pray tell, didn't you inform a teacher when you saw that the troll had left the dungeons?"

"Because Hermione was screaming!" Harry exclaimed, as if that explained it all. "We didn't have time to grab a teacher!" He was getting hot and frustrated.

"Oh, of course. I understand…" Snape commented dryly. "You thought it better if you risked your own neck in the process!"

Harry opened his mouth to protest but Snape cut him off before he could speak, "You have no idea what could have happened to you and your friends! Your stunt was careless, and it could have been the end of the road for all of you!"

Harry hung his head. The proud happiness he felt about his victory over the troll—and his earned points—vanished like smoke.

"Look at me!" Snape hissed.

Harry glanced up, a small spark of insurgence and defiance gleaming in his green eyes. "I'm sorry, Sir. But I don't let my friends down."

"No? But you let them cry in the toilet while you are eating dinner?"

Harry gulped, though part of him still didn't blame himself. He had only just heard about Hermione at dinner. But before he could reply, Snape went on.

"And you seem to have no reservations about causing your friend tears…"

Harry dropped his head again. It was so unfair that Snape was blaming him for making Hermione cry when it was all Ron's fault. But he knew it would be useless to point that out, as his professor seemed happy to be able to blame Harry for everything.

So he asked in a low voice, "What… what are you going to do?"

A little surprised about this question and Harry's odd tone of voice Snape rose an eyebrow. "What do you think I plan to do? I'm lecturing you, am I not?"

Uncertain of Snape's intention, Harry glanced up again. "Not me! What are you gonna do about Hermione's lie?"

"Miss Granger is not my problem. And the fact that Professor McGonagall thought it a good idea to take points from her and give you some in return, as absurd as that was, is also not my problem. But you, young man, you are my problem!"

"Why?" Harry asked anxiously. "I'm a Gryffindor too…"

"Yes, I know! But I knew your mother…"

"Really?" Harry's eyes grew larger. "But what does that—"

"Yes, really," Snape interrupted firmly, "And I'm quite certain she would be excessively disappointed to know how carelessly you risk the life she saved!"

Harry starred at Snape in disbelief, the stinging words slowly carving into his heart. Nobody, not even the Dursleys ever said something that hurt that much. Tears welled up in Harry's eyes, and he closed them in pain and shame.

But there was another small voice that was telling him that this accusation was unfair. He just saved Hermione's life. What on earth was wrong with that? If it wasn't for Ron and him, Hermione could be dead.

Stoically he scraped up his pride and bravery and glared into Snape's eyes.

"You don't know anything," he whispered as he stood up.

Professor Snape grabbed for his shoulder, but Harry dodged him and shook his hand off.

"What don't I know?" Snape asked, grimly.

Harry only cast him a hurt, impatient look. "Can I leave?"

As Severus turned from the boy, he slowly became aware of his mistake. He should not have said that about Lily. Merlin, he had absolutely no right to speak of Lily in such a way. He could have slapped himself for his own stupidity. What had he wanted to prove? Had he meant to impress the boy with his statement?

As the man focused back to reality, he intended to apologize to the boy. But before he could even attempt it, Severus realized that Harry already left.

"Damn!" he swore, plopping down on the chair Harry had just vacated.

Ooo

Harry took Snape's long silence as an affirmative to flee from the room. He ran up the stairs for two more floors before he slowed, the impact of Snape's words hitting him again with blunt, stinging force.

He choked on a sob. The last thing Harry wanted was to disappoint his mother or father.

As he reached his common room, Ron and Hermione waited anxiously for him.

"Harry!" the girl exclaimed when she noticed the traces of tears on his cheeks.

"What did that bastard do to you?" Ron growled furiously, laying a protective arm across Harry's shoulders.

But Harry wasn't up to saying anything. He headed for the sofa next to the fireplace and dropped his seat down onto the cushion. Pulling up his knees, he hugged them tightly.

"Harry?" Hermione asked again. This time in a much lower voice. The girl crouched down in front of him.

As Harry looked into Hermione's hazel eyes, he realized that no matter what Snape believed his mother would think about him, he had done the right thing. These were his friends. His first friends ever. What could be more important than protecting them?

"Snape really is a bastard!" Harry finally confessed.

"I've only been telling you this since we had our first lesson with him…" Ron confirmed.

"Yeah, I know, but I just thought… never mind." Harry didn't want to think about that now.

He'd really thought that Snape was going to be different than the other adults in his life. But now he wasn't sure anymore. In hindsight, he was glad that he hadn't told Snape about the Dursleys, because if Snape was like the others, than he wouldn't believe him. He wouldn't help Harry. Telling his professor would only make things worse.

Ooo

That night Harry slept fitfully. He muttered in his sleep, waking Ron up in the process.

"Professor Snape – Sir, please – no, please don't – it wasn't me – mum – I'm sorry – No, don't – please don't go – I'm sorry!"

Ron jumped out of his bed and shook his friend's shoulder until Harry was finally startled out of his dream.

"Hush, Harry," Ron whispered. "It's only me!"

Relieved, Harry took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I woke you up," he apologized.

"It's okay" Ron assured Harry, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Harry shook his head. "No."

Ron looked at his friend anxiously. "You were talking in your sleep. You said Snape's name. What did he do to you?"

Exhausted, Harry shook his head again, "Nothing, he just scolded me and told me how stupid it was to hunt down the troll on our own, without telling a teacher."

"But you were crying!" Ron pointed out.

Harry's face burned, and he felt sweaty underneath his pajamas. "I know…"

"He didn't thrash you, did he?"

Casting his friend a shy but amused smile, Harry shook his head, "No…he didn't thrash me. He just said some really rotten things to me."

"Will you tell me what he said?" Ron asked, staring Harry right in the eye.

Harry sighed and straightened up in his bed. "He told me that he knew my mum, and that she would be disappointed in me because I'm so careless with my life."

As Harry recited Snape's words, they still hurt a bit.

Ron frowned deeply. "What can that git know about your mum? I think she'd be proud that you knocked out a full grown mountain troll in your first year!"

"But now that I think about it, it was kind of stupid, I guess. We could have died…" Harry agreed.

"But what about 'Mione? She wouldn't have had a chance if she would've gone against that troll by herself. If it wasn't for us, who knows what would've happened to her. We did it together. Even McGonagall gave us points for it! So, if you ask me, the dungeon bat can say whatever he wants. He doesn't know anything about bravery or pride…or honor. He's just a slimy Slytherin."

Harry smiled again at his friend. Ron's energy was somehow contagious.

"Thanks," he whispered.

"Hey, it's nearly seven. Why don't we get up and go down for breakfast?"

"Okay!" Harry agreed, suddenly starving.

Ooo

"Mr. Potter!" a voice echoed through the corridor after breakfast

Harry and Ron were about to leave the Great Hall, but hearing Snape's voice, Harry froze. Slowly he turned around to face his professor. The neutral mask Snape always wore revealed nothing of his current mood.

"Sir?" Harry asked nervously.

"We have to talk. In my office…"

Ron who stood next to Harry took a step forward, shoving himself in front of his friend. "What about?" he asked and crossed his arms.

Snape raised an eyebrow. Under any other circumstances he would have replied, that it was none of the redheaded brat's business. But judging by the boy's protective body language, it was obvious: Mr. Weasley was concerned about Harry. Certainly this was the special friend of Harry's.

"Very well. Mr. Weasley, you may come along with Mr. Potter if you wish."

Ron nodded triumphantly, but Harry just shrugged.

Ooo

After they all took a seat, Snape glanced back and forth between the two boys, but finally his eyes rested on Harry, and he drew in a silent breath to prepare himself.

"Harry, I'm sorry if I hurt you yesterday. I am not entitled to say what your mother would or would not think of you. I suppose I was a bit… shocked over the troll incident. Merlin only knows how you three survived!"

Harry began to smile. But Ron couldn't believe his ears. He gawked at Snape as if he'd suddenly grown a second nose in his face. The way Snape talked to Harry was so different than the snapping and growling that normally flew out of the man's mouth.

"However," Snape went on, "I expect you both to go directly to a prefect or a teacher before you ever rush headlong into a situation like that ever again. Even with Miss Granger in peril, you have no business risking your own necks. We have rules for a reason. I know I'm not your head of house, and this time I let you off with a warning. But should I catch you foolishly risking your lives again, I will make sure there will be punishment! And I won't accept an excuse involving the shifting staircases. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Sir," Harry and Ron answered in chorus.

"You are dismissed," Snape said, proud of himself for managing to add a stern warning to his embarrassing apology.

Perhaps his reputation wasn't completely ruined after all...

Ooo

After Harry and Ron left Snape's office, the redhead continued to gawk.

"Are you sure that was Snape?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yep."

"The real Snape?"

"Uh huh."

"I don't get it. Did you hear what he said? He apologized!"

"Yeah, I heard it. I was in the same room with you!" Harry reminded Ron.

"Right… But—wow! Nobody'll believe that! You're sure it was the real Snape? I mean you should know. You spend more time with him than I do."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Yes, Ron. This. Was. Snape! The real, one and only Snape!"

"But-" Ron began and then stopped again, unable to find the right words.

Harry jabbed Ron with his elbow and smiled. "Come on. Let's grab our books."

"Hey!" Ron protested and gave Harry a nudge in the ribs in return.

Laughing they headed back to their dormitory.