Erised
Throughout the few days before the Christmas holidays, Professor Snape's bad mood didn't improve. Harry was casting him odd looks and Severus knew he had to talk to the boy, but a more pressing issue kept his mind occupied. Professor Quirrell.
Severus had no proof that his stuttering colleague cursed Potter's broom, but he was sure that Quirrell had something to do with it. It was dark magic that caused Potter's broom to buck. And since Quirrell was the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, naturally he would have to know something about dark magic.
Severus could not imagine why Professor Quirrell would do something like that, but he also knew that it was inconceivable of a student to carry out such a stunt.
It was now the second unexplainable incident in which Severus believed his colleague had his finger in the pie. First the troll, now Potter's broom.
With his mind so occupied with this matter, Professor Snape was glad to see that at least Potter was busy with something else. In the last few days the boy and his friends had spent a great amount of their leisure time in the library. It seemed they were doing some kind of research, but it was obvious they were having a difficult time finding information.
Severus noted Potter's frustrated face more than once. The boy would shut a book with a snap and droop back onto the sofa cushion, casting a dark glare toward the remaining pile of books before him. But Severus paid no mind to this; as long as the boy was busy with his books, he would not get himself into trouble.
One day at dinner while Severus was glancing over the list of the students who would remain over the Christmas holidays, he spotted Harry's name and wondered, not for the first time, why the boy wasn't eager to go home. Of course he knew that something in Harry's home life was not as it should be. And uncovering that secret was a task Severus was looking forward to, but not with delight.
Perhaps he would find time for that after the Christmas holidays…
Severus sighed and shook his head. Why was it always he who ended up uncovering secrets and mysteries?
Ooo
When the holidays finally began and most of the children had gone home, Severus sighed in relief, basking in the silence. He did not like Christmas at all, but he loved the student-less peace and quiet. To him, that was the best Christmas present he could receive.
It seemed that Potter and his friend had also slowed down in their research. He now saw the two boys sitting often in the Great Hall playing chess. As far as Severus could tell from his place at the teachers' table, Potter wasn't very good at this game. But the boy didn't seem unhappy about that.
Severus could not imagine how someone who had suffered one defeat after another could still play the game with such enthusiasm. It was obvious that, to the boy, it did not matter who won. He was thoroughly enjoying himself.
In such moments Harry did not look like his father, James, but more like his mother. Severus once adored Lily for this attribute. And it was disturbing to find pieces of Lily in this boy, who looked so much like his father. Severus had hated James Potter to no end. But he loved Lily Evans.
It was moments like these that made Severus determined to help the boy, and if Harry was being mistreated at home, he owed it to Lily to protect her son.
Ooo
Unfortunately, Severus' beloved silence was disturbed when the professor noted that his unreadable colleague, Professor Quirrell, was spending far too much time up in the third-floor corridor. Whenever Severus tried to extract an explanation from Quirrell, his colleague began stuttering worse than ever.
One evening he cornered Quirrell and was about to take him to task, just as Filch cut in. The caretaker was holding a broken lantern in one hand and was driveling something about a student in the restricted section of the library.
Severus growled angrily. He cast Quirrell a deadly glare and finally loosened his grip on Quirrell's cloak. The frightened professor hurried away as fast as he could.
Now Severus was livid. It was long after curfew and absolutely no student had the right to wander around, not even during the holidays.
Severus hasted along the corridor with Filch in tow. He suddenly stopped in his tracks, believing for a short moment to have heard something. But listening carefully, all he could hear was Filch's hard breathing.
At first Severus was sure he would catch the student quickly, but when he did not he parted ways with Filch. The caretaker hobbled off toward another corridor, and Severus slinked back in the direction where he believed he had heard something. And sure enough he now spotted an ajar door leading to an old, unused classroom.
Of course Severus had believed Harry to be the marauder the moment he learned where the broken lantern was found. What other student would wander around the library at night? And who would feel the need to break into the restricted section?
Ignoring the rules and wandering around at night were more than unwelcome attributes the boy had inherited from his father. But that fact didn't change Severus' determination to put this boy in his place once and for all. If Harry were in his house, under his care, the boy would be in for a spanking, no question about it.
With a grim face Severus burst into the room, but then he stopped when he found himself looking right into the lovely and beaming face of Lily. She was smiling at him, and the image took Severus' breath away. She was so beautiful, so gorgeous and unharmed, so… alive.
She stood there with her dark red hair and beautiful green eyes, smiling her gentle smile at her son, who was standing right before her in front of an old mirror.
Severus was certain the boy could see his father too, as he was looking back and forth between his mother and a person Severus could not see.
Harry's face was pinched in confusion. He stuck out his hand to touch and feel his parents, as if he didn't realize that they were only in the mirror; that they didn't exist. Watching this stabbed Severus' heart painfully.
Harry looked so small and lost, and Severus realized that Harry probably had no memories of his parents. He would never know how wonderful it sounded when Lily laughed or how beautiful her voice was. He would never know the kind of person his mother was when she was playful or coltish, or how her eyes gleamed when she was caught up in one of her ideas. Harry would never know how lovely she smelled or how silky her hair was.
As Harry suddenly turned around Severus was at lost how to proceed. He was still angry, but he felt sympathy for the kid.
"Professor Snape!" Harry gasped as he noticed the looming shadow in the doorway.
Severus got a grip on himself and straightened up. "Mr. Potter. What a surprise to meet you at this late hour out of your common room."
Harry gulped. He had nearly forgotten what he had done before finding himself face to face with his parents. Finally Harry dropped his head.
"I take it you were the one in the library?" Snape continued.
Harry swallowed again and nodded.
"I prefer a vocal answer," Severus snapped, easily returning to normal self.
Harry winced. "Yes, Sir," he said in a small voice.
"And where exactly in the library did you go?"
Harry looked up with a tortured face, "In the restricted section, Sir," he whispered.
"And what did you believe you would find there?"
Harry bit his bottom lip and glanced back over his shoulder. He was obviously uncomfortable, getting reprimanded in front of the mirror, where he had seen his parents for the first time in his life.
Severus sighed and rubbed his temples.
"Let's go in my office," he said in a weary voice.
Harry just nodded.
As he drew nearer to the door where Snape stood, he almost stopped to pick up his invisibility cloak but he realized that professor Snape would confiscated it in an instant, so he went on and tried to memorize the way back to the mirror; he would get his new cloak later.
It was a silent trip to Snape's office.
Ooo
"All right, Harry. Could you tell me why you thought the restricted section would withhold information from first years, when all students are only allowed in with special permission?"
Harry hung his head and shrugged.
" Enough of this nonsense!" Snape barked, furious, "You will talk to me even if I have to loosen your tongue by warming your bottom first!"
Harry's head jerked up. Horrified, he looked at his professor. "I'm sorry, Sir!"
"Well then, speak!"
Harry realized there was no way out of this. He really didn't want to end up over Snape's knees, but he had also no idea what Snape would say when he learned the truth.
"I was looking for information about Nicolas Flamel," Harry said and bit his bottom lip again. If it was really Snape who tried to steal the thing under the trapdoor he wasn't going to be very happy about this.
But to Harry's surprise, Snape was a bit taken aback. "Nicolas Flamel?" he repeated. "Why would you search for information about him in the restricted section? It contains books about dark magic, and Flamel has nothing to do with that."
"Well… I didn't know that. We tried to find some information about him in nearly all the books in the library, and we didn't find anything, so we thought… maybe… we would find something in the restricted section."
"I hardly believe you looked very close at the books in the library. Flamel isn't that big of a secret. Maybe you looked at the wrong books… What exactly did you hope to find?"
"We tried to find something about his connection to Dumbledore, to find out something… about the thing that Fluffy is protecting." Harry didn't realize what he had said until it was too late. He paled and clapped his hand over his mouth.
"Fluffy?!" Severus barked, enraged. "How do you know about Fluffy? You promised me you would stay away from there! And I promised you what would happen if you disobeyed!"
Harry stepped back, shaking his head frantically, "I wasn't there again. I swear. Hagrid told us the name!" he said quickly and clutched his backside unconsciously. This was the second time within a few minutes that Snape had threatened him with a spanking, and Harry wondered if he would actually get out of Snape's office without receiving one.
Suddenly Harry realized that he had betrayed Hagrid, and so he explained, "He didn't just tell us the dog's name. It slipped. And well… he wasn't very happy about that. He said we should keep our noses out of this because it's just something about Dumbledore and Flamel. Well… he didn't want to say Flamel's name either. That slipped too." Harry fell silent again, because his babbling wasn't helping anyone. Not him and definitely not Hagrid.
"And why, pray tell, did you not just drop the topic when you were told to keep your nose out?"
"I couldn't!" Harry insisted and sighed in frustration.
Severus raised an eyebrow as curiosity took over. "You couldn't?"
Harry scratched the back of his head. "Well, when Hagrid took me to Gringotts he picked up a strange package. He asked me to keep quiet about it since it was top secret Hogwarts business. I nearly forgot about it, but a few days later I read about somebody breaking into Gringotts. So I was curious again. And I told my friends about it.
After we saw the three-headed dog we knew the package was here in Hogwarts and the dog was guarding it. And then there was the troll… Well we think he was a distraction, that someone tried to steal the thing and well, we still don't know what it is, so we're looking for little pieces of the puzzle. And… your leg, Sir, it was all bloody that day. You know what the dog is protecting, don't you?"
"Of course I do," Severus said in a much calmer voice. After hearing the boy's story he could at least understand why Harry was so determined to uncover the secret about the stone.
Harry looked at him with big, green eyes.
Severus nearly burst out laughing, "You honestly don't think that I of all people would tell you, do you?"
Harry's falling face spoke volumes.
"Harry, listen, and listen carefully. If Professor Dumbledore would have wanted any student to learn about the third floor corridor and what is hidden there, he would have mentioned it at the welcome feast. But he didn't. On the contrary, he warned all of you to keep away! So why do you think you're an exception? Just because Hagrid isn't able to keep his mouth shut does not mean you should know any of this! And I forbid you to search further!"
"But-" Harry began but was cut off by Snape.
"No buts, Harry. What the dog is protecting is none of your concern."
"But I think-" Harry tried again but was cut off a second time.
"It doesn't matter what you are thinking! It is none of your business!"
Harry sighed, frustrated, and dropped down on the chair in front of Snape's desk, thinking desperately about a way to bring his point home. Finally he spoke.
"Sir, I don't think that I'm special or anything. But don't you think everyone would be curious if they would have seen the package from the start? I was, and I know it's just a small thing and obviously really important, but I can't just forget about it when there's been so much fuss. All I want to know is what's in the package."
"But what would you do with the information about it? In what way would it help?" Severus asked. He understood the boy more than he let on.
"It would help because then I wouldn't have to search anymore and make myself crazy over it."
Now it was Severus' turn to sigh. He studied Harry for a long time. It wasn't the boy's fault that the stupid half-giant didn't know anything about discretion. And of course curiosity would have taken over an eleven-year-old. He was only a child. And this evening proved how far Harry was willing to go to still his curiosity. Perhaps he would continue to live more perilously without the information...
"Do you like chocolate frogs?" Snape finally asked.
Harry stared at Snape as if he had lost his mind. "Sir?"
"Chocolate frogs. You know what chocolate frogs are, don't you?"
"Yes, Sir, of course," Harry was still confused. Where was this leading?
"Well then you know that the cards inside of the chocolate frogs show pictures of celebrated witches and wizards."
"Yeah. Ron collects them. And I have one, too. About Albus Dumble…" Harry slowed down, suddenly remembering something. Then he clapped his hand against his forehead. "I'm so stupid!" he moaned, but then he grinned.
Severus raised an eyebrow. Obviously Harry had gotten the hint. But before the boy freaked out completely, Severus made a point to deflate his excitement. There was still the matter of tonight's rule-breaking to discuss.
"Let us return to the fact that you were out of your common room after curfew and in the restricted section of the library…"
The gleam in Harry's eyes vanished in an instant. "I'm sorry, Sir. It won't happen again!"
Severus smirked.Did the boy really believe he would get away with a meager apology?
"This night wandering is going to stop, young man. Today you broke two rules, so you will receive two detentions with me. I will inform you about the details of your detentions as soon as possible, and rest assured I will not forget them!"
"Yes, Sir," Harry mumbled. Oh well, it could have been worse. Two detentions were nothing compared to the threat of-
"If I catch you out of your common room after curfew once more, I will make sure you are very sorry."
Harry gulped. Okay, the double threat of a spanking... "Yes Sir, it won't happen. I mean being out after curfew."
"Well. We will see, won't we?"
With these words Professor Snape walked over to the office door and held it open for Harry. Taking the hint, the boy stood up. He debated about going to get his invisibility cloak or going straight to his dormitory and getting the cloak tomorrow.
But when Harry saw Snape falling into line beside him, he looked up and asked, "You're going with me?"
"Of course. It's late and I do not want you getting lost on your way back."
Harry flushed. Was Snape reading his mind? And if so, did he know about the invisibility cloak?
They walked in silence for a long while, and Harry's mind drifted back to everything that had happened tonight. Suddenly he remembered why he had been so confused about Snape since the Quidditch match.
"Sir?" he prompted.
"Yes?"
"The day before the Quidditch match you told to me that I didn't have to learn loads of moves, just that I needed to stay on my broom. Why did you say that? Did you know what was gonna happen?"
Severus was slightly taken aback. The Quidditch match was several weeks ago. But of course he knew that this question would come up sooner or later.
"No. What I meant was that nobody expects wonders of you. And you seemed to be making yourself crazy with the book. You were putting yourself under too much stress."
Harry was relieved to hear that. He'd never wanted to believe that it was Snape who tried to hurt him.
"Do you know why my broom did that?" Harry continued.
"No. I'm working on that. Whoever it was will be expelled from this school!"
"You think it was a student?" Harry asked, unbelieving.
"As I said before, I'm not certain." Severus had no desire to reveal his suspicions about Professor Quirrell to the boy.
"I was so scared. I was sure I was gonna crash to the ground!"
"That would not have happened. There were many teachers watching."
Harry smiled to himself. "Oh… well, then, thanks," he whispered. "Thanks for saving my life again."
"Why do you think it was me?" Severus asked, curious.
Harry smiled shyly. "Well, Hermione told me she saw you through her field glasses. And you were staring at me, whispering something."
"Did she?"
"Yeah, well… she thought you were the one who cursed my broom."
Severus suddenly stopped. "Miss Granger. I should have known. She was the one who set my robes on fire…"
Harry chuckled.
"Do you have any idea how expensive those are?"
Harry could not hold back his laughter anymore.
"Stop laughing," Severus said angrily. "One blink of my eye, and you could have died!"
"So it was you who saved my life…" Harry grinned mischievously. But it wasn't the way James would have grinned. It was the same way Lily often did when she was in a playful mood.
Severus got goose bumps. How much of Lily was in this boy?
"Harry, I want you to be careful," he said in a stern voice.
The smile on Harry's face vanished. "Do you think someone wants to hurt me?"
"I don't know. But you must keep your eyes open. Don't wander around alone in dark corridors."
Harry nodded and frowned thoughtfully. It was obvious that Snape was worried. No one had ever been worried about his safety before, and Harry had no idea how to handle this new feeling. Of course he would be more careful, but Snape didn't know about his new invisibility cloak. Who could harm him under that?
Ooo
That night Harry was plagued with nightmares. Again and again a jet of green light woke him up. And the boy knew he had to go back to the mirror. He had to see his family unharmed and alive.
Ooo
In the days that followed, Severus noted Harry's absence at mealtimes in the Great Hall, and if the boy eventually came down to eat something, he was in a strange mood. His vision was unfocused most of the time. His friend tried to get through to him, but Harry seemed very huffy and irritable about that.
What's wrong with the boy now? Severus groaned to himself.
When one evening Severus saw Weasley waiting for Harry outside the Great Hall for dinner, he decided to investigate. Harry hadn't gone to breakfast or lunch and it was obvious that something was wrong.
"Where is Potter?" Professor Snape asked the Weasley boy.
Ron was nervous. He looked up at Snape with uncertain eyes. "He wanted to meet me here."
"And how long have you been waiting?"
"I'm sure he'll come!" Ron said, more to himself.
"Mr. Weasley, it has not escaped my attention that Mr. Potter has missed several meals in the last few days. Can you guess why Mr. Potter would not come down to eat?"
Ron gulped and looked down at his shoes.
"Where is he?" Professor Snape asked angrily.
"He… he's been looking into the mirror most of the time. It's very strange. Harry said he can see his family in there, but I couldn't see them," Ron finally told his professor. He felt awful for betraying his friend, but he was very worried about Harry.
"The mirror?" Severus repeated and shook his head. How could he have forgotten the mirror? He had never talked to the boy about it, and sure enough, Harry went to see his parents again.
"Thank you, Weasley. I think you should go and get some food. Potter will not come. You can see him later in the common room."
Ooo
Severus cursed himself under his breath as he walked down the corridor to the old, unused classroom where he knew the mirror was. As he entered the room, Harry was sitting on the floor hugging his knees and starring up at the mirror. A faint smile curved his lips, and there were tears in his eyes.
The professor watched Harry for a while. But the boy just sat there, captured in tangled feelings of delight and pain.
"Harry?" Severus called out to the boy, but he didn't react. "Harry!" Severus repeated but there was still no reaction from him.
Carefully the professor moved closer, calling Harry's name again and again. But Harry did not move an inch.
Severus kneeled down to the boy's level and whispered once more, "Harry?"
"Dad?" the boy finally asked with glassy eyes, still gazing at the mirror.
"No, Harry. Your father is dead," Severus told him as gently as possible.
"No, look!" Harry pointed toward the mirror. "He's right there!"
"No, he is not there. No one except you can see him. He is just an illusion. Your father is dead just like your mother."
"My mum isn't dead. She's alive… and she's beautiful!"
"She was beautiful when she was alive, Harry. And I understand that you want her to be alive. But she isn't. She died ten years ago. She was murdered in a horrid way, and I will never forget that day."
More tears poured down the boy's face. "She isn't dead!" he whispered frantically, as if the words alone would keep her alive.
Severus swore under his breath. This was going nowhere. He looked up at Lily's mirror image, hoping to find some assistance. But Lily just smiled.
"I wish it were so, Harry…" Severus whispered and then he laid his hand on Harry's arm.
Suddenly the boy sat up straighter and shouted, "She's alive!" But as the words left his lips, he hugged his knees more closely. "Look. Just look at her. She's right there!"
"Harry. I am looking. I'm looking at you! And I can see you are beside yourself. Why don't you look at me?"
Harry frowned. "But I am looking at you too, dad!"
"No, Harry. Look at me. I am Professor Snape."
Harry knitted his brows in confusion, but then he whispered, "I can't…"
"Of course you can!" Severus tried to convince the boy.
But Harry's eyes went glassy again and he said in a strange voice. "Dad, all I can see is you, mum and me. There's no one else!"
Severus felt the urge to scream; he felt the urge to just turn Harry around and force the boy to look at him. But he knew that would be dangerous; Harry might black out completely if he were startled out of his delusion.
He took a deep breath. "Why don't you turn around so you can see me more closely?"
"I don't want to. Mum, tell him I don't want to look away!"
Severus closed his eyes. He had no idea how to proceed. It was obvious that in Harry's mind, everything he was saying was transformed to James' words. Harry believed he was talking to his dad. Perhaps Severus would be more successful if he engaged in the game.
"But Harry, didn't you want to meet with Ron for dinner? I'm sure he's waiting!"
"Ron?" Harry asked, confused. "He said he can't see you. Could you see him?"
"We can see whatever you want us to see. But away from the mirror, you can see much more than you do now. You can see the sun every day rising and setting. You can fly a broom and play with your friends. Don't waste your life looking at us. We live deep inside you, and we want to see more of your world. Just show us your world. Tell us who is with you. Who is the man standing beside you?"
Harry frowned and cocked his head. He looked as though he did not understand what he was told to do. But slowly Harry turned his head to the side. When he recognized Professor Snape, he jerked violently. He wanted to look back at the mirror but this time Severus shoved himself between the boy and the image of his parents.
"No, Harry! I want you to look at me!" The boy glanced up at Snape with a questioning look. As he stared into Severus' eyes, he slowly became aware of his world.
He struggled to his feet and staggered back a few steps. "No. Please let me look at mirror again!"
"I'm sorry Harry but I cannot let you-"
"Please! They'll die!" Harry begged and new tears found their way down the boy's cheeks.
"They are already dead, Harry! For ten years now. There is nothing you can do to revive them. The mirror is lying! It shows you your parents alive, because you wish them to be alive. It is your heart's deepest desire. But it will never come true, no matter how long you stare at this mirror."
Harry started to tremble and more and more tears streamed down his face.
"But why? Why did they have to die?" he cried in a heartbreaking voice.
Severus would never have believed that he would be fighting against tears of his own. But this boy was breaking through the solid wall that protected his heart against pain of any kind.
As Harry started to sway, Severus leaped forward to catch the boy. Harry clung to him for dear life and started to cry hard.
Severus wasn't able to stand any longer. Slowly he lowered himself and the boy to a sitting position on the floor.
Holding the boy tight to his chest, he silently cursed Albus for his carelessness. Why had the headmaster left this mirror in such a public place, an open classroom, where anyone could come in?
Harry cried for a long time and Severus had no idea what to do except hold him and wait. Has this boy ever cried for his parents before? he asked himself. It seemed as if Harry had just become aware for the first time that he had no parents.
Harry was crying the same way Severus had ten years ago when it was Albus who had held him. He assured Severus that life would go on, even if our love ones died. And Albus predicted that a part of Lily would live on inside her son, Harry Potter.
Until this moment Severus did not understand what Albus meant. But now he did. Harry himself was a part of Lily, because he was her son. And he was as lonely as Severus was. Missing the same wonderful woman in his life.
Severus looked at the traitorous mirror that held Lily's image and said, "I promise I will look after him." But all Lily did was smile.
"She really is dead, isn't she?" a small voice asked and Severus looked back at the little boy in his arms.
Teary eyes were gazing up at him, and Severus nodded grimly. He wished he could cry too. He did not trust his voice so he just smoothed his hand over Harry's hair.
Slowly the boy straightened himself up. His eyes automatically searched for the mirror, but Severus took Harry's head in his hands and forced the boy to look at him.
"Do not look back, Harry," he said in a soft voice. "It's not good for you. You will forget to live"
Harry tried to free himself but Severus held him tight. "Let them go. They are more alive if you let them live in you. But to make that possible you have to live! Can you understand that? They'll live just as long as you do!"
Finally Harry stopped fighting Severus' grip. And he looked deep into his professor's eyes.
"Is she also living in you?" he asked in a whisper.
"Yes. I loved your mum as well. I knew her long before we started at Hogwarts. She was the most loveable person I ever met."
"I wish, I'd known her," Harry said and looked down at the floor. "But all I remember of her is her screaming and a green light"
Severus was shocked to hear that. He didn't realize that Harry might remember that day. He was only a year old.
"I'm sorry, Harry. I didn't know."
"My scar still burns when I dream about that day. I never understood the dream when I was small; I thought it was my mum I heard screaming, but my aunt and uncle told me that my parents died in a car crash and the green light never made any sense to me. Now I know what it was, but I wish I didn't know. Because now I can even see him. That's when my scar starts to burn and I wake up."
Severus gently stroked his thumb along the boy's forehead around the lighting shape. He didn't dare to actually touch it. Big green eyes looked deep into his. And suddenly Severus remembered something strange he had noticed on Harry's first school day.
He was talking with Professor Quirrell when the boy had looked at him for the first time. And he remembered that Harry had suddenly rubbed his scar. Was it burning at that moment?
"Does your scar sometimes burn during classes?"
Harry frowned. "Yeah, sometimes…" he finally admitted.
"Can you tell me when exactly?"
"Erm… when I'm in Defense Against the Dark Arts mostly."
Severus' heartbeat doubled. Had he found a clue? But what did Professor Quirrell have to do with the Dark Lord? He wasn't a Death Eater as far as Severus knew. After some more musing he shoved these thoughts aside and looked back down at the boy. He needed to get food in the small body.
"Come with me," Severus said, standing slowly once more.
Harry also struggled to his feet, coming back to himself. He suddenly hung his head in shame when he became aware that he'd cried like a baby in the arms of his Potions professor. Harry hid his face in his hands.
But Severus was relieved to see the boy return to his normal state. It was, however, a shame that Harry felt so embarrassed about the situation that he was not able to make eye-contact anymore.
With red glowing ears, Harry followed Snape until he found himself in the professor's office.
"Am I in trouble now?"
"Tell me, when are you not?" Severus asked. Slowly he was finding his way back to his old self as well.
"I'm sorry," Harry whispered.
"And what exactly are you sorry for?" Severus asked as he closed his office door.
"That I went back to the mirror. I didn't see any harm in it…"
Severus nearly smiled at the boy. He took Harry by his shoulders, guiding him into the chair in front of his desk before crouching down to eye-level with the boy.
"Harry, you are an eleven year old boy. You did not know anything about magic for most of your life. How would you be able to recognize such a dangerous piece of magic? Your training has just begun. It was my mistake. I should have told you about the Mirror of Erised when I found you there the first time. So surprisingly, there is nothing I can blame you for. But I can't say the same for your friend, Mr. Weasley."
"Oh no!" Harry moaned and hid his face in his hands again. He had been so awfully grumpy to Ron.
"You are lucky to have a friend like him," Severus said, and Harry peered up at him through his fingers.
"You mean…I had a friend!" he sulked.
"Oh, I do not believe you will lose your friend so easily," Severus said as he straightened up again. Stretching his aching back, he rounded his desk and took as seat in his own chair.
"But what if? Harry asked. "I've never had a friend like him before!" He was worried. "And I haven't been very nice to him…"
"Well then, I suggest you apologize to him."
"Okay," Harry said and started to stand up.
"Not so fast, young man! There is still something we have to address."
Harry face paled a little. He had thought he wasn't in any trouble this time. But Severus just smirked and waved his wand. A plate full of sandwiches and a pot of tea appeared out of nowhere.
"You did not eat anything today. So you will do it now."
"Thanks," Harry whispered, and his cheeks turned pink. He took one of the sandwiches while Severus poured the tea into the cups. As Harry watched Snape take a small sip from his tea and close his eyes, he noticed his professor looked very tired.
Harry wondered about the events of this evening. He also wondered about Snape. He still could not believe he had cried against the man's chest. But it felt so good to do so. It felt so good being held tight to someone. This man was so completely different in private than he was in class. He was far more emotional when he was alone with just Harry.
In class he hid himself behind a mask of stone. He was unfair to the Gryffindors, especially to Ron and Neville and to Harry. But Harry had learned to see behind all of the insults, and he knew it all was just a show. He still didn't know why Snape's show was such an important one to keep up. But he had forgiven his professor long ago.
Snape tried to stick to his reputation; he had said that himself. And Harry didn't mind as long as he knew he could count on his professor in private.