Chapter 8.

I couldn't sleep.

Day had rolled into night, and we'd stopped to make camp – I'd had something to eat and tried to get some shuteye, wrapped up under my blanket in the lean-to, but it was a fruitless endeavour. I tossed and turned as time ticket on, I couldn't get the image of the man I'd strangled out of my head.

I groaned and sat upright, I had my jacket off and inspected the fresh bandages around my middle, thankfully the bleeding had stopped – the Stimpack doing its job nicely, and all that was needed was time and rest to help my body heal properly. I rubbed the wound gently, as if my touch would speed up my recovery.

The benefit of travelling with a robot meant that there was no need to swap shifts when it came to the watch – and I spied ALT sat a little ways away, arms on her knees – we'd spoken very little since the firefight at the Raider camp - I was personally exhausted, the adrenaline having left my system and draining me of energy, I doubt ALT felt anything like that, but she seemed just as wiped as I was. I chewed on my dinner, I really needed to get myself something more substantial, especially if we had more miles to go. I rose to my feet, and stumbled over to where she was sat on the ground, as I got closer, I could hear humming.

It was ALT, her modulated voice quiet, yet distinctive, she was humming the song I'd been apparently singing after our night at Clearfields – clearly it was stuck in her head as it was mine. I paused to listen for a moment as she went through the song into the main chorus, it was sweet in a way.

She stopped as she heard me approach, and glanced over her shoulder as I came and sat next to her with a huff.

"Hey."

"-Hey.-"

We sat in silence, listening to the noises of the Wilds – or lack thereof, it was very, very quiet – and our lack of conversation made it almost deafening.

"-You mentioned a while back you grew up on a military base?-" ALT suddenly asked breaking the ice. "-What was that like?-"

I swallowed and thought about her question a second before responding. "I guess you could call it a military base, it was army remnants from the war – without any kind of command they banded together to form a community – of a sort." I chuckled at a memory. "My day always used to say: 'We're an enclave, son.' Or something to that affect. 'The last remnants of America.' Always used to blather on about how they'd retake the 'wasteland' one day…. Load of crap."

ALT hummed in acknowledgement before speaking. "-You sound like you were not that close to him.-"

"Nah I guess not, to give him his due he raised me on his own, taught me how to shoot, to survive. With the help of everyone else that is, I wasn't the only kid there, but I was one of the first." I pulled the pack of cigarettes from my jacket pocket and lit one – I was running low. "We didn't exactly see 'eye-to-eye' on a number of things really, like most children and their parents I suppose…"

I trailed off to puff on my cigarette, ALT nodded in understanding as I did so.

"-Why did you leave?-" ALT queried. "-Did you decide one day to just wander or was there a reason?-"

I blew smoke out of my mouth in slight exasperation at the impromptu game of twenty questions we were playing, but answered, nonetheless.

"God…. Er, he wanted me to join up with their little 'enclave' as he called it, go through their training programme, and 'enlist' – I didn't want to throw my life away on a pointless cause." I rubbed my eyes. "It was a long time coming really. There's nothing left to save, 'reclaim America'? Look around, America is gone, no amount of nostalgia or effort is going to bring it back. Best to move on."

"-You really think there is nothing left to save?-" ALT asked, leaning backwards on her hands.

Where was she going with this?

I shrugged and gestured a hand to the landscape before us.

"-I think it is worth trying. Even if it is for the benefit of one person, no?-" ALT continued, and I realised what she was implying. "-We cannot change the word, agreed, but if you make a positive change for one person that is some good put back into the world.-"

She was talking about herself.

"No, no, you're right." I shuffled my seating position so I could see her better, the light from her optics illuminated me in their glow, I felt under the spotlight. "I'm not trying to say that I'm defeatist and there's no point to anything – far from it. Just that trying to bring back the old-world isn't going to make things better – we need to make out own fate."

I puffed on my cigarette – feeling a rant forming: "We need to stick together, as a people, dividing us all up and segregating us based on ideologies and borders is what caused this whole mess in the first place. Family is more than blood, it is the relationships you make out here that count, not who you're born to. Hell, it's not even a case if you're human or not now, is it? Case in point being y'self."

ALT had quietly sat and listened as I spoke passionately – I never really went into detail on my background or personal beliefs, never really had the time, but it always did annoy me how… 'tribal' people became when shit hit the fan – always covering their own backs.

"People like my dad who harp on about bringing back the old-world, or 'civilisation back to the land', would be the first to use their power for their own ends – mark my words. You know they considered everyone who wasn't one of them a 'mutie'? That they where tainted? Christ. Sure, I've seen some folk who've been dealt a bad hand, taken too many rads and their genetics have gone hay-wire – but on the inside, where it counts? They were still people. Hell, if anything they where the mutants, only difference being is y'couldn't see it."

"-What did your mother think?-" ALT asked changing the subject slightly. "-I am guessing she must have shared those views?-"

"Ehh. I didn't really know 'er." I scratched the back of my head and took one last drag on my cigarette before tossing it. "Nothin' like she died in childbirth or whatever, just after I was born, she just up an' left. That's all I know."

I glanced over and saw ALT still looking at me, her upper faceplates had moved – rotated downwards with the middle parts upward – sadness, or sympathy? I waved a hand at her.

"Don't feel bad for me ALT, for god's sake. I didn't have a particularly troubling childhood all things considered – I was fed two meals a day, clothed and bathed regularly, educated – more than most kids out here I reckon." I laughed humourlessly. "I had it pretty good really all things considered."

"-Alright, but I would not sell yourself so short, like everyone alive now you have had to endure the hardships that come from being alive now. Your experiences are just as valid no matter what."

I guffawed, unable to help myself. "When did you become so wise?"

ALT chuckled, a strange sound considering she had no diaphragm. "-I have my moments it seems – it just came natural.-"

Our little moment of laughter died down and we were alone again in the silence, I saw ALT's gaze shift from me to look out across the landscape once more.

"You recall anything from before then? You had a bit of a moment back in the workshop there – do you er, you wanna' talk about it?" I asked awkwardly. "You seemed pretty shook up is all."

ALT didn't respond straight away, only looked down and leant forward to rest her arms on her knees. I was still sat leaning backwards, and moved forward to match her new position, I felt a bit guilty about bringing up what had happened, but my curiosity was getting the better of me – plus, I could tell she was hurting over it.

"-There…. Was not much. Flashes like before, but these were more vivid – I felt less like I was remembering some thing that had happened in general and more something that had happened to me.-" ALT looked at me again. "-Does that make sense?-"

"I guess it does, sorta like remembering an injury with the thoughts and feelings that go with it, versus what you ate for breakfast, that about right?"

"-I do not eat breakfast, but yes, you are correct. At least that seems to fit how I am feeling.-"

I noticed she hadn't told me what was going on inside that metal head of hers.

"You talked about snow, the cold?" I pressed on and ALT looked away in another direction. "I've heard of it but never seen it for myself, was that pre-war?"

"-…..-" ALT was silent, although it seemed like she was going to speak, no sound came from her.

"Look, I'm sorry I won't push it anymore." I apologised; I could see that I'd upset her. "Pretend I never sa-"

"-No! No, it is OK." ALT interrupted raising her hand to stop me despite not turning back to look at me. "-I want to talk but… I do not know the right words.-"

I reached out and patted her on the shoulder and she almost seemed to jump at my touch – could she feel that? I didn't know.

I quickly retracted my hand with a grimace. "It's alright, just er, when you're ready I'll be here to listen."

I left her to her own thoughts and me to mine as I looked at the dirt below. I hadn't talked about my family in so long – I felt like I'd forgotten their faces in my mind. It stirred up strange, unfamiliar emotions in my chest that I couldn't quite place, either I'd forgotten what they were, or I'd never been in a position to feel them before this. I looked up as I spotted ALT's head turning around, the yellow optics coming into view again, she let out a sigh and began to speak.

"-There was snow as far as I could see, it stretched on and on into the mountains – it never seemed to end. I remember running forward, the ground churning and becoming a brown slush as I seemed to be walking in circles, and I could see the frost and ice starting to form on me as it became harder to move.-"

ALT let out a shuddery breath as I listened intently, then she continued.

"-Next thing I knew, I was surrounded by people, men I think – I could not tell, they were just grey shadows. I lashed out at them; they were going to hurt me…. I think? I did not feel afraid, I was angry, furious, it burned in my head and chest…. The snow was stained with blood as I pushed my way through them….. Then I was somewhere else.-"

"This all happened when you were plugged into that machine?" I asked, dumfounded that such a extensive account of events took place in such a short time.

"-Yes…. It felt like I was there for a very long time…. How long was it for you?-" ALT responded.

"A couple of seconds? Thirty, forty tops?"

ALT didn't respond to my last statement; she shook her head and then placed it in her hands.

"-It was dark.-" She began, I could hear the emotion in her voice. "-I could not see much, but I remember being unable to move. There were wires and cables coming from the ceiling and I couldn't look down to see where they went but I was sure they went into me. Then this…. Awful noise started, like a saw….. I could see figures surround me again, but these seemed different – I felt fear….. I tried to say something, anything but I could not….. I could not…..-"

"Hey, hey easy there, it's alright." I reached over and placed my hand on her shoulder again, she didn't flinch this time. "I…. I didn't know it was that vivid. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"-Thank you…-" ALT whispered into her hands.

"Do you… Do you think that they're memories? That that stuff happened to you?"

"-… I do not know but, yes. It feels that way…-" ALT confirmed. "-I remember the emotions I felt, or at least I think I do. I remember feeling…. Pain, in the last one, even though I should not.-"

"What do you mean, you shouldn't?" I asked, confused.

"-I do not 'feel', I do not have the capacity to feel. But I remember the feeling of something cutting me, of it slicing me open – even if it is only for a moment.-"

"Jesus…." I muttered; I didn't know she was actually feeling this way on the inside, I didn't think I'd be able to cope with all that rattling about my head.

We drifted off into silence again, keeping my hand on ALT's shoulder as she held her head in her hands in a display of grief. Part of me wished I hadn't asked, that I'd let sleeping dogs lie – but then I wouldn't be a very good friend.

Were we friends?

ALT clearly had a personality and even despite the circumstances of us meeting and our clear physical differences we got along – made each other laugh. We'd been through a lot in a very short space of time, and I felt it easy to open up to her, and I think she felt the same, I don't know if she'd had borne her soul in the same way if she didn't.

Maybe I was over thinking it.

"Do you feel a bit better? Talking about it I mean." I asked gingerly, retracting my hand.

"-I guess so. It is better than bottling it up at least – and it is nice knowing that someone else at least understands what I am feeling.-" ALT raised her head to look at me and smiled, I smiled back.

"Yeah, you're right – ain't no sense in taking the load all be yourself is there?" I nodded. "Don't worry, we'll get some answers I promise."

"-I will hold you to that.-" ALT replied with a chuckle.

I shook my head with a grin as I stood and ambled back to my lean-to and started to rummage in my pack – ALT remained sat where she was, watching. I fished out the map that we had printed at Clearfields and walked back to re-join her in sitting on the ground.

"Let's look at the route ahead, shall we? Mind making use of your floodlights there?" I asked her, and lightly punched my arm – which hurt a surprising amount. "Hey! I'm not the one with flashlights for eyes!"

"-Fair point.-" ALT conceded, her simply looking at the map provided enough light for me to read it in the dark – better than using my lighter anyways. "-Is that better?-"

"Yeah, thanks." I responded – I splayed the map on my lap and sat cross-legged on the floor, as ALT provided the much-needed lighting I needed to see. I traced my finger along the route we had taken up until now, and looked up to try and gauge where we were based on what I could see around us. "I reckon we're about here…. Heading in a slight north-westerly directiom, we've been going about a day so far, and I reckon we've got another three? Four? To go."

"-That is not as far as I was expecting.-" ALT mused. "-Is it really not that far away?-"

"In the grand scheme of things? No. You're lucky in a sense, you were clearly packaged away for transport in that pod – had the war not happened who knows were you would have ended up."

ALT hummed sagely. "-That is true, I am pleased that you came along when you did if that is the case.-"

"Next half a day we're gonna hit our first big problem." I continued and tapped the map at a section where numerous roads joined together, and a large building dominated the nearby land. "Jess was sayin' there's a Deathclaw nest out here near the shopping centre – now I've never seen one, I don't know what they look like – but I know the stories."

"-Are they bad?-" ALT asked slowly.

I didn't say anything but nodded solemnly – ALT's faceplates lowered into a frown.

"I'm not really sure what we can do – we're no where near kitted out to take one on, let alone a nest." I rubbed my mouth in thought and circled the open space to the north of the old mall. "There's clear paths around, north and south, but I've been told that gangs are operating in the area and are tolling the roads for safe passage."

"-That does not sound too bad-" ALT pointed at the map. "-Why do we not take that route?-"

"No offence intended – but you'll attract a hell of a lot of attention." I answered without looking up. "Valuable salvage. Parts. They'd probably kill me and disable you, pull you to pieces for profit."

"-…. You really think so?-" ALT asked incredulity. "-Surely if we paid the toll, they would let us pass?-"

"You saw the reaction of Kath's folk, and they where normal people. What would an armed gang do?" I turned my head to look at her. "As far as they are concerned, you're an advanced military grade robot, in fantastic condition to boot, valuable."

"-That is a fair point.-" ALT nodded. "-Are you saying we take a chance on the Deathclaw nest then? The more deadly option?-"

"I like to live dangerously." I joked briefly dipping into humour, but quickly returned to a dour expression. "Seriously though? I don't know, we have another day to think about it – and we've been flying by the seat of our pants so far…. Do you have any thoughts?"

ALT was quiet as she thought, raising a hand to her chin in a similar manner to how I did earlier.

"-I do not know, we're between a rock and a hard place.-" ALT finally spoke. "-Is there anything we need to be aware of going into tomorrow?-"

"Unless we stumble upon another camp, it looks like clear open space." I started to fold up the map. "Only thing I'm worried about is the bounty hunters."

I stuffed the map into my jacket pocket and stretched my legs out in front of me and huffed, ALT adjusted her seating position as I did so.

"-I cannot believe that they have put a bounty out on you. On us.-" she said, crossing her legs and fiddling with the fit of her poncho.

"Well, we did kill three of 'em." I bowed my head, stretching my neck and back. "I'm not surprised, just disappointed that it ended up that way."

"-Are…. Are you alright?-" ALT asked, looking over at me. "-I cannot imagine it is easy knowing that people want you dead.-"

I didn't respond right away, was I alright? I didn't know, I hadn't really thought about the bounty since I'd read it – out of sight out of mind – that wasn't normal right? I felt a crushing feeling in my chest and huffed again, I reached for another cigarette and lit it – hoping it would steady my nerves that had suddenly decided to flare with anxiety and worry.

ALT must have detected my distress, as I felt a hand on my shoulder. It squeezed me gently as I puffed on the cigarette and rubbed my eyes.

"Honestly ALT? I feel like shit. This ain't something I can just keep running from, not forever." I shook my head. "I couldn't sleep before; I kept thinking about that fella I choked out. I've killed people before, sure, but it's different by your own hand."

"I feel better when we're planning, moving, working towards our destination. Anything else. Anything to distract me." I sucked on the cigarette and let the smoke fall out of my nostrils, ALT remained quiet. "Main focus is getting to those coordinates, finding out about you. We keep moving. I'll deal with all of… that, afterwards."

"-Victor….-" ALT started, and lightly shook my shoulder as she did so. "-I am so sorry that I have gotten you into this situation. If it were not for me none of this would have happened to you…-"

"Don't be daft ALT!" I shot back. "All my life I have been wandering, aimlessly, with no fuckin' rhyme or reason to it. Just surviving – thanks to you, I have a goal, a mission – something to actually work towards, something that's actually worthwhile. I have you to thank for that."

ALT didn't say anything, just merely removed her hand from my shoulder.

"Yeah, if I hadn't of pulled you from that pod none of this would be happening – but I mean I'd be ghoul chow – or in the best-case scenario still wandering from place to place with no plan. Sure, things could have gone better back at Kath's, maybe it didn't have to end in a gunfight, but this is the first time in my life where I feel like I'm actually doing good by helping someone - helping a friend."

"-A… A friend?-" ALT stuttered – as I discarded the cigarette in the same manner as I did before.

"Well, yeah, I guess we are? Or what constitutes for friendship out in the Wilds huh?" I chuckled, the feelings in my chest had subsided at last. "We've been through a lot in the last couple of days – 'friendship forged through fire'."

ALT looked down at the floor. "-Yes… we have….-" She leaned over and threw an arm around me, I returned the hug. "-I am pleased it was you who got me out of the pod, Victor.-"

I felt her squeeze me and I instinctively returned it, despite the fact that she probably wouldn't be able to feel it. A lot had changed over the last couple of days, and we'd saved each other's lives more than once now, so it wasn't as weird as it was previously to hug ALT – she was a person.

"For what it's worth, I'm pleased I did too." I said into her shoulder. "I've got your back ALT."

"-I have yours Victor.-" She replied.

We held the hug for a while, before breaking – I felt flush in my cheeks of embarrassment but pushed it down with a cough and ALT fiddled with her clothes adjusting the fit. Why did I feel embarrassed? It's not like anyone was watching us, right?

I checked over my shoulder just to make sure.

"-Seriously though, Victor, I mean it.-" ALT piped up, jostling me from my stupor. "-I would not have gotten this far without you, I do not even think I would have left the pod, I would still be asleep. Thank you.-"

"Uh, don't mention it, like I said, I'm glad to of found you." I composed myself. "So, when you were in the pod, were you asleep or something?"

"-No, at least I do not think so.-" ALT replied, playing with the loose ends of her poncho. "-I do not even remember getting in, or being placed, in the pod. Or even why I was there – your guess is as good as mine.-"

"Well…. You're clearly military spec. I've only ever seen Assaultrons in military colours – and you are far more than one of the ordinary ones." I leant back onto my hands and looked ALT up and down. "Colour scheme is a bit of a give away at a first glance."

"-I do not disagree with that – but I have no memories of before you woke me. Why would the military…. 'build' me with intelligence? Why would they want someone like me? Surely combat robots are made to be subservient – I would not be comfortable with that.-" ALT gestured to herself as she spoke. "-It does not make sense!-"

"Maybe…. Maybe you're not military then?" I pondered in response. "Sure, I found you on a military checkpoint, base, whatever. But what if it you're not? What if you're something different?"

"-What? What do you mean?-" ALT asked, I could just about make out that her faceplates had moved into a look of surprise.

"Maybe you're not military. What if someone else built, created you? It's just me spit balling an idea here but what if its another group?"

"-Another group? Like who?-"

"I don't know. But growing up around military folk, or ex-military I guess, they used to talk about how some of the higher ups used to have deals on the side - that's kinda what I'm thinkin' maybe is what is up with you."

"-You think I was sold and experimented on?-" ALT questioned leaning back and placing a hand on her chest in a display of offence, though I could tell it was sarcastic.

"Maybe? Doesn't explain what makes you you though does it? You're not a machine of war, you're a person, like me. Wouldn't be a very good war machine if you start asking a million and one questions as you do." I grinned as I wound ALT up.

"-Hey!-"

"Either that or you'd have a crisis of conscience over whether you're doing the right thing and- Ow!" I stopped as ALT slugged me in the arm forcing me to stop my ribbing. She was smiling as she did so, and it caused me to start to burst out laughing.

We broke down into laughter, a strange mixture of organic and artificial sounds reverberating around the camp. The exhaustion that I felt made me believe that it was the funniest thing in the world, and I felt tears form at the corner of my eyes – that definitely weren't caused by ALT's punch to my arm.

Clearly, she didn't know her own strength.

Or perhaps she did.

The mirth died down and I sighed as the last of the laughter left my system – the last little chuckles escaping my lips I did so. Still rubbing my arm I stood and stretched – ALT watched me stand and joined me as I stretched, brushing down the dirt off her clothes.

"I was being serious by the way." I spoke as I cracked my back. "Maybe there's a lot more going on with your past than we realise."

"-I agree. You should get some sleep – we need to be up early and I need you at one hundred percent-."

"Is that an order?"

"-Yes.-"

I laughed again, and sloppily saluted ALT as I turned to walk back to my lean-to. "Yes ma'am. You OK with sitting up on watch?"

"-Yeah, that is fine. Do not worry about me, go get some rest.-" She followed me to the lean-to and sat down facing away from the camp.

I crawled into my bed for the evening and curled up on the ground, throwing the blanket over me. I rubbed my eyes as I rolled over to find a comfy position.

"G'night, ALT."

"-Goodnight , sleep well.-"

Shorter chapter - to be honest I lost a bit of steam but I wanted to get another chapter out and focus on the characters talking more than action.

Thank you all who have favoured and followed this story so far, you are the ones who make it worthwhile.

Please leave a review if you can, I would love to here what you think.

3 TRW