Gwen. "This house is a ruin, I wonder why it hasn't fallen down?"

Owen. " I think the woodworm are holding hands."

Owen and Gwen stood looking up doubtfully at the wrecked Victorian terraced house. The whole street had a deserted air, partially abandoned after local industry closed and the houses had become worthless. The whole street was due for demolition, but a few hardy souls remained, a strange mixture of oldies who refused to move, squatters with a social conscience about housing and the residents of number 22.

Number 22, classic two up, two down, still with the outside lav attached to the end of the ramshackle kitchen extension. The whole completed by a small enclosed yard at the back, and three-foot of front garden. A broken brick wall barely supported a wooden gate leading to a cracked tiled path.

"Right then PC Cooper, in we go, can't stand dawdling here all day."

Owen stepped over the wall, and then cursed as he stepped in a cat turd. Gwen laughed at his expression, until she felt the splinter enter her thumb as she tried to open the gate. They stood inside the garden, frustrated and angry.

"Right," said Gwen "Lets get on."

Ten minutes later they were no nearer the front door. So far Owen had tripped on a broken tile and Gwen had broken a heel as she tried to avoid him, falling awkwardly on her backside into a patch of stinging nettles.

They had helped each other up then immediately slipped again on the algae covering the tiles. Finally they arrived at the front door and with a triumphant look at each other Gwen rang the bell, starting back as she received a sharp shock. Owen then tried the knocker, which suddenly came off in his hand, causing his elbow to hit Gwen in the diaphragm. She exhaled with a puff of air and cursed him.

The door opened. Ianto stood, looking immaculate and handsome in tight jeans and snorgtee that proclaimed how epic he was.

"Good Evening, come in, welcome to our housewarming." Gwen could hear big band music in the background and the sound of Tosh's laughter as she talked to someone.

Ianto smelt rather than saw Owen's shoes "Um could you leave your shoes outside please – I really don't want to have to clean up cat turd from the tiled floor."

"Ianto, what is this dump? Surely you and Jack can afford something a bit more…." Gwen's voice trailed off.

"Yes Gwen? A bit more what?" Ianto opened the door wider and let them into the hall. Gwen gasped and Owen looked up from pulling off his jacket. The hall was a perfect Victorian gem, from the tiled mosaic floor to the detailed architraves and picture rails. A door led into the living room, the two downstairs rooms had been thrown into one, with polished wooden floors, rugs and large squishy sofas. A cast iron Victorian fireplace faced with tiles contained a gently glowing real coal fire. Jack and Tosh were sat on one of the sofas quaffing from large glasses of wine. Canapés and hot food were sitting ready on a table towards the back of the room, by the door, which led to an immaculate real wood kitchen.

Gwen's eyes were round, her mouth trying to form words whilst her brain tried to catch up with the contrast between outside and inside.

Owen just asked where the beer was.

Gwen's brain finally caught up half way through her glass of wine. Ianto was sat leaning up against Jack who had pulled him in closer. Owen was playing a zombie game on the PS3 as Tosh looked on.

"So come on then, tell us, why this house? Isn't this street due for demolition? Hardly worth your while doing all this, was it?" Gwen waved her hand to indicate the handsome décor.

Jack pressed down lightly on Ianto's shoulder as he felt him tense.

"Ianto feels strongly that these houses still have a lot of life in them, so we're supporting the movement to bring them back into use," said Jack.

"A lot of my family lived in this area, there used to be a real sense of community, my great uncle owned this house, left it to me in his will." Said Ianto

"Yeah, my family grew up in houses like this, Canning town, London. 'Course they all got bombed out in the war, it's all tower blocks now."

Everyone looked at Owen in surprise. He never talked about his family. He hitched a small smile then returned to his game.

A few hours later, and it was time to leave, Owen and Gwen headed for the front door, but Tosh steered them out to the back yard. This was flagged over attractively, and neatly fenced. She led them out of the new and secure back gate into the well-kept cobbled alley.

"Oh, this is why you told us to come to the back door!"

Owen just threw her a dirty look. "Cooper!"

Ianto climbed the steep stairs, Jack followed just far enough behind that his eyes were on a level with, well Ianto's behind.

"Do you think Gwen bought the story we told her about why we live here?"

Ianto turned his head to catch Jack's eye, he wiggled his hips when he realised what Jack was looking at. Jack swallowed and nodded.

"Uh huh. Owen will be the one to actually find out the truth, he'll pester Tosh."

By now Ianto had reached the bedroom, and was stripping off. It was cooler up here, and he felt the goose bumps rise on his arms and chest. Jack threw himself onto the mattress and watched him undress. Ianto threw his t-shirt at him and wandered into the bathroom to clean his teeth. He came back out, talking round the brush and foam. He realised Jack couldn't understand him, removed the brush and pointed it at Jack.

"I said, did you check on the atmospheric containment field for the Felodians at number 7?"

Jack nodded, Ianto disappeared for a moment into the bathroom, he stuck his head around the door as he wiped his face dry.

"And the perception filter for the Arko's at number 12?"

Jack nodded again.

Ianto walked swiftly over to the bed and climbed on.

"In that case I think you deserve a reward –Sir."

Hands up all those who thought this was going to end with smut? Shame on you! I am far too pure for that sort of thing.