Tucker felt her hand shaking as she cooked the heroin. She closed her eyes and felt the pot she had smoked mellowing her out but it wasn't keeping the damn memories away. She rested her head against the bookshelves behind her and tried to stop her hand from shaking so much. She knew that if she was ever caught doing this in the library that Mrs. Flinch would toss her out and never let her come in again but here surrounded by books was the only place she felt safe. She remember reading her first novel and how it had taken her to a place where families ate dinner at the table together and the father wasn't a mean man. Books had been her refuge and they still were. She thought of all the books that lined her walls in her small apartment and she knew that she would have to leave them all behind. It didn't hurt that much as they were mostly all books from the thrift store that she could replace anytime. What did hurt was the fact that she would have to leave the life she had built behind; she would have to leave Reid behind.
At the thought of Reid, Tucker felt her eyes tear up and the sob form in her throat. She tossed her lighter aside and gently placed the spoon with the cooked heroin on the floor. She took the syringe and gently filled it up until the spoon was empty. She then sat back and looked at the drug in the syringe. It was partially clear and Tucker had been assured by the dealer that it was strong and would make her forget even her own name. She hadn't done heroin in a while; since the last time her monster of a father had found her. It had been almost three years and Tucker had thought she had been safe. She slowly rolled up her sleeve and slapped the crease in her arm. She watched as her vein became visible. She gently pressed on the plunger and watched as some of the heroin squirted out. She wanted to forget the memories but she didn't want to die. Maybe if she was stronger she'd end it but she just couldn't. She had never understood why but one of her few theories was she knew that her death wouldn't stop her father from killing. He would just find another excuse or reason and more innocent women would die. However, she wasn't strong enough to let him find her and fight him. She wished she was because then this would have been over years ago.
She slapped the crease again so she didn't lose the vein and gently pushed the needle into her skin. She sucked in a breath and cursed as she missed the vein. She sighed and knew she would have to use something as a tourniquet. This was the part that she hated; shooting up guaranteed a quick high but it was such a hassle. She put the syringe aside and quickly pulled the bandana she had been wearing around her head off. She started untying it then stopped. She heard footsteps coming down the hall and towards her. She held her breath and waited. She was seated in the one part of the library that people seldom ventured; Medieval History. She had found that she could sit back here in the stacks for hours without hearing one person walk towards them. She wondered why it was that people didn't find Richard the Lion Heart or the crusades interesting anymore. She pushed those thoughts away as the footsteps still came closer.
Reid looked down every row of shelves hoping he would see Tucker. It had taken him only minutes to figure out what comforted her. He had been mildly shocked to find out that it was the same thing that brought him comfort; books. Every time she had run away from a foster home they had found her hiding in the library. He stopped when he heard what he thought was a soft muttered curse. He hobbled faster ignoring the pain in his leg. He had left his crane in the car knowing he would never have been able to move as fast as he wanted with it. He looked down the next aisle of books and stopped. He saw Tucker sitting there holding a gun in her hands. It was pointed at him. He saw her red eyes and the tears form. He also saw the syringe on the carpeted floor and her hands shaking. He held up his hands knowing that she was on the edge of breaking down and he wanted to try and help her hold it together not lose it more.
"Just walk away, Spence. Please," she begged knowing she didn't want him involved with all this. She didn't care what his job was she knew her father. He would find Reid and hurt him for the simple fact that Reid was close to her.
"I can't. I am going to keep looking for you if you keep running. I care about you, Tucker, and I won't let anyone hurt you anymore," Reid said looking at her and seeing her falter a little. She lowered the gun slightly.
"You can't stop him, Spencer. He is pure evil and he won't stop until he gets me back. I can never run far enough away from him."
"Then stop running. Help me catch him."
Reid watched as Tucker dropped the gun on the carpet. He lowered his hands and he walked over to her. He took the syringe and placed it in his pocket. He reached out and took Tucker's hand. She closed her eyes and he felt her shaking. He pulled her in his arms and held her close to him. He heard her sobs start and he rubbed her back and let her cry. He knew she needed it and he wondered when was the last time she had just let herself go like this. He let her pull away and he felt her hand on his chest. He looked into her eyes and saw pure unfiltered pain.
"I never wanted you to know. I have done so many things..." Tucker trailed off not knowing how to continue.
"It's alright. What you need is a warm meal and some rest," Reid explained.
"Before the grilling starts, right?"
Reid held her hand tight in his, "I am going to be with you the whole way."
Tucker nodded. She stood up and watched as Reid did the same. She saw the wince on his face and then noticed that he didn't have his cane. She grabbed her bag and swung it on her shoulder. She then wrapped an arm around his waist and tried to give him a smile.
"Let me help," she said softly.
"Only if you let me return the favour," he answered wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Holding her close felt right and Reid began to ask himself again how he really saw Tucker. Was she just a friend to him or was she more? Reid let her help him walk down the hall and he felt himself leaning towards something more. He needed to help her and he would but after he wanted to build something lasting with her. He wanted to show her that not everything was about death and darkness. And maybe along the way she would show him the same thing as well.