Yes I know it should be Ianto Tales but I like Tosh and tough Geeks, and Stephanie Plum who is tough with an ability to wreck cars I just can't help but envy.
Babe, you've destroyed a car,
burned down two buildings,
stapled a guys nuts and you have sixteen stitches in your leg.
Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early.
(Janet Evanovitch, Lean Mean Thirteen, Ranger to Stephanie Plum)
Tosh was on a roll. Endorphins gushed through her brain as her heart marched adrenaline through her circulation. Pain was not going to stop her, breathlessness would not hold her back; high heels and short skirt no obstacles to climbing.
This bastard was going down.
Icy needles of rain fell from a leaden sky drilling drops into the top of her head. The beast in front of her roared at the lightning, and reached for the thunderous clouds, drawing the potential electricity and hurtling it towards the beleaguered team.
"Who does he think he is? Fucking Thor?" Owen in his rubber soled shoes and baggy rubberised suit laughed in the face of danger, Jack of course had on a perfectly fitted rubber suit, which had led to all sorts of comments from Gwen and Owen, and a very certain "In your dreams, Jack" from Ianto. Gwen could not work out how Ianto managed to look so suave in his baggy rubber, whilst she and Owen looked like a pair of unemployed sewerage workers.
Still the beast had them pinned down, insulation no guarantee against being clobbered by the lumps of concrete that exploded from the wall it was hitting with the lightning.
Tosh sneaked through an alleyway, coming up to the left of the beast. The air smelled of ozone, static sparked through her hair, and her blouse clung coldly to her skin. The beast glowed blue as it gathered electricity and threw it towards the team. Tosh climbed up on a dumpster at the end of the alley and hoped the beast would not see her. She hoisted the adapted Big Gun from over her shoulder and aimed it a few feet above the beast's head. She fired and a net of carbon fibres and alien alloy burst over the creature, rapidly adjusting to its height and the edge falling rapidly to the ground, earthing the electricity harmlessly. The creature roared and tried to break free, tangling itself more thoroughly and eventually falling over backwards. As it fell the very localised thunderstorm began to turn to drizzle and the weak Cardiff sun broke through. Tosh re-slung the gun and brushed the hair from her face. She went to jump off the dumpster and ended up slipping on her bum down its grimy side. Her skirt rucked up to her hips and her knickers performed a really good wedgie as her tights shredded themselves on the crumbling tarmac of the alleyway. The big gun dug painfully into her shoulder blade and as she stood the sting of the grazes on her thighs caused her to suck her teeth as she limped in one shoe towards the rest of the team as they subdued the beast.
Back at the hub Tosh was subjected to rubbery damp hugs and thanks as the team headed off to change. Ianto had wrangled the beast into a containment cell and was now making coffee. Gwen and Owen were chattering excitedly about the capture and Jack had been sidetracked by a call from the PM. Tosh took a hot shower and was back at her workstation in time to drink her now barely hot coffee. She finished off the basic report on the big gun adaptation including hyperlinks to all the equations and diagrams. (Thank you Ianto for the user friendly and logical short forms.)
She then made the gun safe, cleaned it and placed it in the armoury. Next up was the archasian translation programme, (Jack had a surprisingly affectionate taste for archasian poetry and wanted to share it, even more surprisingly it wasn't erotic poetry.) Whilst it ran she made adjustments to the software and worked on the latest upgrade to the rift predictor programme.
Fourteen hours after starting work Tosh found herself alone, at home. Jack and Ianto were out somewhere, Owen was on the pull and Gwen was with Rhys. (Although, of course Owen might have been pulling Gwen, but Tosh did NOT want to go there.) A glass of wine and bed and her favourite TV programme, she was asleep before the first wedding cake was delivered.
The next day was her off day (rift permitting) and she mooched around in her dressing gown, trying to find the motivation to do a bit of housework or some online food shopping. Going out was just too much trouble. Damn it, she ached. Just not enough to be in bed or enough to really put off cleaning the kitchen floor. She mooched some more.
Around twelve the door bell rang. Jack barrelled in with a grin and a kiss. "Ianto has something for you."
"Good afternoon Tosh" Ianto followed Jack in, carrying a nondescript cardboard box. It looked heavy and Tosh wondered what piece of tech she was to analyse on her day off, and why it couldn't wait until she was back in work the next day. To her surprise Ianto took it into the kitchen and Jack propelled her into the lounge and made her sit. He chatted to her about this and that. How she was feeling, what were her plans for the day. He told her they were there on a social visit and to check she was OK after her amazing rescue the day before. Soon the most glorious chocolatey coffee smell was wafting into her lounge, Ianto followed it with a large mug of Mocha, topped with whipped cream, a double espresso for himself and a Mocha, no cream for Jack. He then returned with a silver cake stand. On the stand was a small but perfectly formed three tier cake, covered in white chocolate and decorated with chocolate representations of exquisite shoes and bags by her favourite designer, nestling in chocolate roses, with here and there a small perfectly formed white chocolate owl.
Tosh could barely breathe. She placed her hands on her breast and blinked away tears. "How did you know? Is it really a…."
Ianto nodded. "For our best and most amazing kick ass geek. A cake by Choccywoccydoodah"
Choccywoccydoodah - the most amazing cake shop, based in Brighton UK - and with their own TV show no less! Has any one written a Jack meets Ranger fic? Or is that just either too hot or funny to contemplate?