Beyond Repair

By: Lesera128

Rated: M

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am just playing in someone else's sandbox….

Summary: Secrets abound as Skye reluctantly returns to Australia at AJ's behest despite the fact its where her marriage to Jax ended in disaster the previous year. AU. Skye/Jax. SAX.

Author's Note: I am reposting some of the older works that I have saved on my harddrive. Old-time SAX fans may remember this story. It was originally posted under my other penname [MuseofJaynor] at the Skye messageboard fan fiction archive. Many people already know this, but in case you were wondering, yeah, that was me.

Reaching out to touch the doorknob, Skye found herself recoiling from it. She pulled back instantly, as soon as her fingers had grazed the brass handle, almost as if she had been badly burned. Chiding herself for such behavior, Skye bit her lip as she hesitantly turned the knob of the bedroom door. Pushing the door open, she swallowed once and forced herself forward.

Immediately, her gaze swept through the room. Nothing had changed. It was just as she remembered. The walls were painted the pink of a dusky rose while the molding was colored in an off-white. Floor-to-floor windows framed the wall opposite of her door letting in the bright Australian sunshine, while to her left a set of French doors opened out on to a stone terrace. The white sheers of the door blew silently as the sea breeze swept through the room. The house was located on the coast, and that was one thing that Skye still loved about this location - the ocean. The sounds of waves crashing against the beach and sea gulls screeching to each other, back and forth, could be heard faintly in the distance. It was so simple, so clean, so untainted….

Setting the bag down on a nearby chair, Skye glanced at the bed. She shuddered slightly as she stared at the four-poster cherry wood bed. The same snowy white down comforter adorned it as she remembered, while many lacy pillows lay scattered against the headboard in decoration. She shook her head as she bit her lip again, fighting back the memories as voices floated back to her, a painful memory of things she should have never heard, things she never would have learned of had she not been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Why are you here?"

"Why wouldn't I be here? This is where I want to be."

"But, why are you here with me if you're in love with her?"

"What are you talking about? I don't-"

"Stop it, Jax. I know, okay? I know you love her."

"What would ever make you think something like that?"

"Admit it, you're only here with me because you and she had a fight. I'm only second choice. A pale substitute at best."

"Yes, we argued. But what does that have to do with us?"

"Everything!"

"Nothing!"

"Tell me that you don't love her. Tell me that you don't love-"

"-Carly!" Skye jumped as she turned around, brought back to the present from her recollections of the past. She stared at her brother's wife as Carly nodded at her slightly. "Oh, you startled me."

Carly smiled faintly. "Sorry. I just thought I would check on you. You seemed so distant at the airport, and, well, I was worried when A.J. had said you wanted to stay in this room, and-"

Skye shook her head as she cut Carly off. "I'm fine, really."

The pair were silent for a moment before Carly looked up at her sister-in-law.

"Can I ask you a personal question, Skye?" Carly asked as she gestured about her.

Skye shrugged. "I don't guarantee I'll answer it, but you can ask anything."

"Fair enough." Carly said. She took a few seconds to breathe before she finally said, "Why choose this room? Out of all the empty guest rooms we have in the house, why choose this particular room when it holds nothing but bad memories for you?"

Skye bit her lip, realizing it had become a nasty habit since she had decided to come on this foolhardy trip to Australia, and she pondered the question. At last she shrugged and said simply, "It has a nice view."

Carly was silent for a moment in response, trying to reconcile the fact that she had gotten as much as an answer to her question from Skye as she was ever going to get. Finally, she nodded. "Well, like I said, if you need anything, just let me or A.J. know."

Turning to leave, Carly was almost out the door before Skye called out to her in a tone that was different from her normal voice… more uncertain – timid almost. "Carly?" Somewhat surprised, Carly slowly turned as Skye asked, "How's the baby?"

Carly smiled a true smile as she replied, "Sydney's sleeping right now. She is just getting to the point where she is sleeping through the night, so normally we don't let her nap too much during the day. But she was up so much because of our trip to the airport that we figured it couldn't hurt her just this once."

"She's grown a lot," Skye said at last, the painful look never leaving her face. "A.J. e-mailed me some of the photos from her christening a few months back. It's hard to believe she was that small, and now she's so big."

"Well, she'll be six months on-"

Carly was once again cut off as Skye instantly replied, "December 16th."

Carly nodded. "Yes, of course. Sometimes I forget when I am talking to people that A.J. and I weren't the only ones know when she was born."

"June 16th. It's a day I will never forget as long as I live," Skye admitted softly, sadness clouding her eyes.

At last Carly came forward and gently reached out for one of Skye's hands. Taking it, she held it firmly as she said, "I know you think that is the day you lost everything, but it's not. Not really. Despite how she came about, Sydney's birth really was a miracle. She was the answer to my prayers, and A.J.'s, if no one else's."

Skye's hands pulled away, not harshly, but slowly as she carefully brushed away a few tears that had unknowingly slipped down her cheeks. She nodded at Carly as she said, "I am sorry. It's just the day that she was born, was the day I finally realized all of what I had lost. It was kind of like I had known what I was going to lose when I first learned of her existence, but it wasn't until she was actually born that it all truly hit home."

"I wish you could have found out any other way than how you did," Carly said at last. "No one should have had to find out like that, especially you."

"Well, what's done is done. The baby is alive and healthy. And you and A.J. are happy and in love again. That is a miracle if nothing else," Skye said.

Carly nodded at last. This time it was her turn to be silent as she reflected on what she was about to say. "You know, after Micheal's death, I just couldn't stay in Port Charles. Sonny and Zander - even Jason couldn't understand what I was feeling. I found out the only person who could was... was A.J. And when he told me he was going to come here to be with you, and asked me to come with him, I jumped at the chance to escape. Somehow, in sharing our grief we found our way back to each other. And, then Sydney came into our lives. And when she was born, I realized that sometimes when I would think of Michael, it didn't hurt nearly as bad as it once did. She can never replace him, but she really is a miracle, Skye."

"I know," Skye admitted at last, turning from Carly once more, ashamed to let the woman see her cry any more.

-TBC-