FINAL chapter of Bard and the Conqueror
Joxer shivered violently underneath the stairs leading up to the front door of Lila & Gabrielle's home. As soon as Gabrielle let the door slam shut behind them, Joxer tumbled out of his hiding place, shaking violently and scrambled towards the tavern to alert Jett.
'Finally!'
'By the gods, Gabrielle… Wait, how are we at home?'
'Oh Lila, how could you do this to yourself? You are dreadfully sick!'
'What… but what about the Conqueror? Did the servants help you escape?'
Gabrielle drew the laid out Lila into her arms and hugged her tight.
'Lila, I didn't need to escape. She freed me.'
'Why would Gabrielle need to escape from us? Doesn't she like us anymore?' came a small voice from inside Gabrielle's bag.
'Oh! The little mouse!' exclaimed Lila.
'Oh Solan…' murmured Gabrielle, lifting him up and out of her bag. 'That's not why I left.'
'Then why?'
A loud knock interrupted them. Gabrielle petted Solan reassuringly as she got up to answer the door.
'Who could that be? It's so very late,' murmured Lila.
'I don't understand. There has to be some mistake!' exclaimed Gabrielle.
'No mistake, my dear child. Lila has been considered dangerous, I must take her away to the asylum,' replied Galen.
Gabrielle bristled at being called a child. She hadn't been one for a long time now. Having no parents and having to look after your younger sister tended to do that to you. They had been lucky that none of the people of Potidaea had tried to take their home away from them. Everyone was content with what they had and didn't want the burden of having to look after another piece of land, let alone two young women.
'She is not dangerous. My sister is very sound of mind,' declared Gabrielle, no longer keeping her voice down.
'She told everyone that the Conqueror had become a beast and had kidnapped you, but clearly you are unharmed. She incited panic among the people last night. That is very dangerous. Now step aside, girl,' demanded Galen.
'What's going on?' asked Lila, appearing at Gabrielle's side.
Galen grabbed her arm and pulled her through the front door.
Lila let out a cry and tugged herself back into the house, but Galen was stronger as he now also had other hands in his aid.
'Let her go!' shouted Gabrielle, pulling at Galen's shoulders for all she was worth.
Galen slipped on the icy stairs and cried out as he lost his grip on Lila, tumbling downwards into the frosty mud below. The two men helping Galen caught Lila before she could get away.
'This just proves to me that you BOTH are dangers to society! Take them both away!' he shouted.
The gathering townspeople all gasped at his declaration. Could it be? Sweet Gabrielle was just as crazy as her mad sister? Madness was contagious!
The people standing around Gabrielle began giving her a wider berth. Jett sidled up alongside Gabrielle as she struggled against Galen's two men, holding her back from ripping Lila from Galen's grasp.
'Ah, Gabrielle. How your family does seem to run into trouble all the time,' he said.
'Jett! My sister isn't crazy. You know I'm right,' she implored.
'Well, my family IS influential in Potidaea. I'm sure I could clear things up for you…' began Jett.
Gabrielle stilled and then looked at him suspiciously, 'If?'
'It's simple, marry me and they will never cause trouble for your family ever again!' exclaimed Jett, smiling broadly at her with open arms.
He let out a high pitched grunt as she kicked him between his legs.
'Fine! I'll leave it alone,' he squeaked, shuffling away from her.
'Gabrielle!' cried out Lila as she stomped with all her might on to Galen's foot, forcing him to release her.
The sisters ran to each other, hugging each other tightly.
'She's obviously just as nutty as her sister!' exclaimed Joxer to the observing Potidaeans.
'It's true, Lila is crazy. She kept going on and on about how the Conqueror is alive and had kidnapped Gabrielle. Even after we threw her out of the tavern, she went around for a while banging on everyone's doors. And hey, Gabrielle always turned away my affections,' said Perdicas to Joxer, who nodded vigorously.
'Only a crazy girl would reject an obvious looker like you,' agreed Joxer, stoking Perdicas' ego.
'But it's true! The Conqueror does live! She isn't lying!' yelled Gabrielle, pulling the mirror from her belt. 'Show me the Conqueror.'
Many of the Potidaean's screamed when the mirror flashed, and then revealed Xena roaring out into the forest, baring her sharp and deadly whites. Gabrielle regretted her actions immediately. She had no right to allow others to see Xena like this. Xena had given her the mirror in confidence; that only Gabrielle would look upon her with her unawares.
'A mwonster!' shrieked Leah, falling into a faint against a disgruntled Meg.
The murmurs of the other villagers began to rise in volume and alarm.
'You're wrong! The Conqueror isn't really like that at all. She has changed. She saved me from certain death by wolves. And she has become so very dear to me,' said Gabrielle, hugging the mirror to herself.
'Oh, perhaps we are wrong,' mused Diana. 'People have been known to change their ways under the right influence.'
'I dunno, isn't there like a condition for when you get feelings for your dungeon master?' snorted Meg.
Jett wrenched the mirror away from Gabrielle.
'Is it just me or do you actually have feelings for this monster you supposedly call the Conqueror, who, if that's true, correct if I'm wrong, is a woman!' he sneered, turning to address his rapt audience. 'This "Conqueror" was a menace then and is a menace now! Don't you remember the stories our parents told us of their hardships under her reign? Look at how easily she enslaves the minds of our young women!'
Potidaeans roared their agreement at him, sending the ends of his hair flying backwards. They may be an unremarkable bunch, with Potidaea not known for much, but they all did have strong lungs and voice boxes to match.
'Look at those maws! Those sharp and deadly teeth! They'd rip your children to shreds before your very eyes!' yelled Jett, thrusting the mirror into the faces of terrified mothers.
'You're wrong! Jett, you stupid fool!' exclaimed Gabrielle, gripping his arm, trying to get the mirror back. 'She would never do that!'
'I'm a fool? I'm a fool for wanting our village to be safe? You really are crazy,' he sneered, knocking her backwards and into Lila. 'Lock them both in their cellar! If we let them go free, they'll warn the Conqueror. We must kill her! For the children!'
Gabrielle yelled and struggled, lashing out at the many hands grabbing at her. She whapped a few on the head, forcing them to release her momentarily. This was enough for her to make a break for the forest.
'Must I do everything myself?' roared Jett, running up behind Gabrielle and grabbing her hard enough to bruise.
He threw her into the arms of Perdicus and Tallus who had already locked Lila into the cellar through the outside door. They promptly did the same with Gabrielle.
'Fathers, husbands and brothers! To me! We'll rid our Potidaea, no, we'll rid Greece of this menace!' declared Jett, thrusting his sword upwards.
All of the male villagers over ten seasons seized their weapons, all pieces of various farming equipment, and stomped on after Jett.
'By the gods, what have I done?' sobbed Gabrielle, hammering uselessly against the heavy door of the cellar.
The castle is in complete silence, most of them all despairing at not only their loss of possible return to humanity, but to the clear heartbreak of their master. She had become something dear to them during Gabrielle's short stay. Only Minya could be heard mumbling angrily and bemusedly. This soon changed.
'What the Tartarus is all that noise?' yelled Minya.
'What are you squawking about now, feather face?' groaned Autolycus, covering his ears, but climbing up to her side.
'Hera's tit! Crazy people are coming towards the castle! They are waving pitchforks, hoes and torches!' yelled Minya, into Autolycus' ear.
'Go alert Captain Palaemon!' Autolycus roared back at her.
He then leapt off the window ledge.
'Tell everyone!' cried Autolycus, swinging and leaping here, there and everywhere to alert the servants. 'We're under attack!'
Solan skittered over to the cellar door from inside Gabrielle and Lila's home. He scrambled up a nearby chair and did his best to yell through the keyhole.
'Gabrielle! Gabrielle!' he called.
'Solan? Oh, Solan, can you find the cellar key? You can open this door with that key,' said Gabrielle, only to sound pained in her next statement. 'By the gods, why did I put it under the flower mug?'
Solan sent his gaze towards the table in the middle of the room. He twitched his whiskers and then grimly made his way down the chair, across the room and up the table.
'Conqueror. The castle is under attack,' said Cyrene, from the doorway of Xena's bedchambers.
'Leave me alone,' murmured Xena.
'They are after you. What shall the troops do?' persisted Cyrene.
'I don't care. Let them in,' replied Xena.
Cyrene fluttered over to Xena as quickly as she could, set her wings upon her feathery hips and glared up at the Conqueror.
'XENA! I will NOT stand by and watch my child be slaughtered! You must do something!' demanded Cyrene.
Xena looked down at her tiny mother and gave her a poor excuse for a smile.
'It's alright, Mother. It's time I paid the price for all the bloodshed. It's alright, you'll have Solon with you,' she said.
'And when you are gone? Who will protect him?' Cyrene squawked in frustration. 'And Gabrielle? Do you think she will be fine with this course of action?'
'Gabrielle is better off without me,' said Xena.
'How do you know that? Did she tell you that?' demanded Cyrene.
'No…' murmured Xena.
Cyrene huffed and then hopped back the stairs.
'They've almost broken through the windows!' yelled Autolycus.
'Everybody take cover! Remember, birds, pick them off as they come in!' commanded Palaemon, trying to ignore the fact that their Conqueror was not directing them. 'Everybody else, take down any who get through!'
The soldiers and servants all scattered off into their hiding places as the glass imploded, distributing a gleaming, but dangerous carpet across the stone floors. They held their breaths as the first few boots could be heard crunching down.
And then the bird shaped soldiers and servants dropped their various sized cargos. Yells of pain filled the air. And then there were cries of disgust reaching the castle inhabitants ears. Palaemon smirked grimly. When this was all over, he was pretty sure the servants would kill him for using fertiliser as ammunition.
'The Conqueror, huh? You look like a big ol' sack big, sad cat to me,' sneered Jett, entering Xena's bedchambers with an arrow nocked in his bow.
Xena regarded him for a moment, and then turned away with miserable disinterest. Ares appeared beside her, although not visible to Jett.
'What are you doing? He's gonna shoot you!' yelled Ares, right in Xena's delicate ears.
Xena swivelled her gaze towards him. Jett stepped back in fright. Ares snorted.
'Look at this guy, you've been a rock and he's jumping at the barest movement! Kill him, it's all he deserves,' said Ares.
'Leave me be. I really don't care anymore, Ares,' said Xena.
'No! You are my Warrior Princess! You sweep the lands of other gods awash with blood for me. Do it, start with him, and I will promise you anything you want,' declared Ares.
'And look how well that ended for me last time,' Xena laughed bitterly.
Jett quirked a brow. Okay, he was pretty sure that she wasn't talking to him. By the gods, she could talk! Well, she was supposed to have been Xena the human Conqueror once before, so he supposed that it wasn't supposed to be weird that a giant, black cat was talking to itself.
'Solan! Don't do that! You'll tip over!' exclaimed Gabrielle, watching as Solan clutched tightly on to the top of the chair and rocked it with all his might.
'Exactly!' yelled Solan, as his efforts paid off.
What Gabrielle hadn't seen was that Solan had placed several objects in the way on either side of the back legs of the chair, holding it firmly in place as it tipped over. Gabrielle and Lila leapt backwards as the chair slammed into the door. They scrambled back to the door as they heard a peculiar noise. And soon they heard the click.
'Try opening the door now,' called Solan.
'By the gods…' murmured Lila, as Gabrielle did just that.
The knob turned and Gabrielle could pull the door towards them.
'Geronimo!' exclaimed Solan, leaping off of his perch and into Gabrielle's suddenly waving hands.
'Solan!' scolded Gabrielle. 'That was so dangerous! What if I hadn't caught you?'
'Don't worry Gabrielle!' replied Solan cheerily. 'I've had so many jumping lessons from the Conqueror!'
'Still…' said Gabrielle, letting it go. 'We'll talk about this later, young man.'
Solan could only giggle in reply, scampering up her shoulder. Gabrielle turned to regard her sister. Lila was still goggling a little at the little mouse perched on her older sister's shoulder.
'Lila…' began Gabrielle.
'But nothing, Gabrielle. I'm coming with you. If it's true that the Conqueror saved your life, I need to go thank her. Personally,' said Lila.
Gabrielle simply smiled at her. They held hands and then nodded to each other.
'Go ahead and shoot me then. Be the mighty hunter,' sneered Xena, both giving up, but not above mocking Jett while she was at it. 'Here, I'll make it easier for you.'
She puffed herself up, making her body a larger target, even if she did blend into the night, the moon outlined her body. Jett twitched, annoyed that still, she wasn't even paying him the courtesy of looking at him.
'Your hide will be my new sleeping fur!' declared Jett, letting the arrow fly.
Xena roared in pain as it pierced her flesh right under her shoulder.
'A good spot… if you wanted to take down an escaping stag. You fool, I'm stationary!' roared Xena, causing Jett to flinch yet again.
She was just like his father, always yelling at him to do better, even though everyone else was always telling him that he was perfect. Jett squared his shoulders; surely bringing the pelt of the Conqueror would please his father.
'Xena! By the gods, don't let him kill you!' screamed a voice.
Xena nearly pitched herself over the balcony.
'Gabrielle!' she exclaimed breathlessly. 'You came back!'
Gabrielle gazed up at the large beast with a look of apologetic despair. It softened as they ignored everything else around them.
'Oh Xena, I had to tell you…' began Gabrielle.
She then screamed in alarm as she watched Jett thrust a dagger into Xena's side, forcing both on to another roof below. She left Lila and Solan on Tobias and raced into the castle.
Minya swooped from group to group, cheering everyone on. She soared into the air, pirouetting before striking a retreating Joxer in the right butt cheek with her rather large beak. Autolycus whooped with glee at his shout of pain.
'Take THAT, you damn sheep lovers!' yelled Autolycus, reaching up and snatching a surprised Minya from the air.
Minya cried out as Autolycus proceeded to noogie her with her head in his armpit.
'Help!' shrieked Minya.
The simple farmers of Potidaea were overwhelmed both physically and mentally. How was it that these animals were so capable of fighting back? Were these not dumb beasts like the sheep that they herded everyday? And why were they fighting to protect the terror that was once known as the Conqueror? Shouldn't they welcome the death of the Destroyer of Nations? With these desperate, but fleeting thoughts in mind, the villagers either ran or fell out of the castle doors and windows.
'Gabrielle! You're back!' exclaimed Flora, catching all of the servants' attention.
They all watched as Gabrielle ran past them, tears streaking down her face.
'Where are you going?' called out Autolycus. 'Gabrielle?'
'Leave her be, the Conqueror will look after her. We'll find out what's going on after we help anyone who's been injured,' commanded Palaemon.
Xena grunted in pain, determined to not to cry out again, not with the stupid idiot landing right on top of her. Her pride wouldn't let her. Jett rolled off of her, leaping to his feet. He had dropped the dagger, but grabbed it again as Xena got up slowly. Jett grinned, waving his dagger her way.
'Leave now and I'll let you live,' said Xena, letting herself only just lean against a nearby statue.
Jett threw back his head and laughed.
'Let me live? Let ME live? I'm going to kill you and then take Gabrielle to be my wife.' laughed Jett, not noticing Xena shifting her stance. 'Did you fall in love with her? Did you really think that she would stay with you? She's a little cocktease! And besides, don't be stupid. People don't mate with freaks!'
'You talk too much,' growled Xena, leaping at him.
She slashed upwards at his face, leaving four claw marks from chin to forehead. Jett yelled in pain, falling backwards, slamming against a column. With blood and pain streaming down his face, Jett cowered at Xena's huge form and shadow cast over him. The moon and the darkness illuminated Xena's flashing eyes even more. Jett's eyes bulged as Xena slammed a paw across his throat, pinning him to the stone behind him. He gurgled in desperation as she pricked the skin of his neck with her claws.
'P-Please! D-Don't hurt me anymore!' he squealed. 'I swear I'll leave.'
Xena's sneer melted away. Hadn't she just gotten used to no longer seeing such fear in the eyes of others? Here it was again. Xena closed her eyes, frowning to herself.
'Then get out of here,' growled Xena. 'Right now.'
She released Jett. He fell to the ground in a gasp.
'Xena!'
Xena turned and was greeted with the sight of Gabrielle running at her. She let out a huff of air as Gabrielle encircled her arms around her.
'Gabrielle,' murmured Xena, nuzzling the young woman's hair. 'It's okay. I'm alright.'
'By the gods, Xena. I was so worried,' said Gabrielle, looking up into Xena's eyes.
She caressed Xena's furry cheek. Neither saw the look of pure revulsion and fury on Jett's face.
She would touch that monster so tenderly and yet constantly refused him? He didn't want Gabrielle to be his wife. Oh no, not that little whore. Jett snarled as he turned back towards them, dagger aimed right at Gabrielle's back. Xena spotted him just in time. She spun them around, shielding Gabrielle.
'Solan! You stay here with Minya!' commanded Cyrene, as she raced up the stairs towards Xena's bedchambers.
The young bard screamed as Jett pushed the dagger into Xena, below her right shoulder. Instead of pulling it out, he used all of his might to yank it down. This whole time, Xena had been gritting her teeth, not quite yelling out, but indeed letting out a rolling growl of pain. But now, with her muscles being torn apart, she screamed. She sagged against the balcony. Gabrielle slipped out from her arms and cried out in anger as she shoved at Jett. In his surprise, he let go of the dagger, staring at her in shock as he tumbled over the edge of the balcony. Sweet and beautiful Gabrielle had just pushed him over a balcony. He didn't even have a chance to consider what this meant because his body slammed down onto a spire.
'Oh gods, Xena!' sobbed Gabrielle, as she turned away from the horrid scene that she had just caused. 'Tell me what to do, what do I do?'
She didn't dare press her hands against Xena's wound for fear of making it larger. She wouldn't be able to cover it, even with two hands spread as far as they could go. Instead, she took off her cloak and laid it over Xena's body. She then lifted Xena's head very slowly and as gently as she could, laying it back down on her lap. She leaned over and pressed her lips very gently on a furry cheek. She tried to ignore the blood pooling around them.
'I…I'm sorry,' Xena choked out. 'Gabrielle, I'm sorry.'
'H-Hey, that's my line,' murmured Gabrielle. 'You have nothing to be sorry for.'
Cyrene just stopped herself from screaming at the sight of her child, in the body of a beast, but nonetheless her child, laid out on the balcony with a gaping wound on her body. She whipped her head to look upon the rose that supposedly mirrored her second-born's life. The petals were dropping faster than ever before now. Was there any point now? If her child was doomed to die so soon, it no longer mattered to her whether or not she ever returned to human form. After so long, having feathers and a beak had become normal for her. Cyrene squawked in utter shock when she heard a familiar young voice down on the balcony.
Xena strained to nuzzle Gabrielle's cheek. Her tongued poked out of her muzzle and she could taste fear, despair and salt in Gabrielle's tears. She felt a prickle of her senses. She lifted her lip up in a silent snarl as the fur on the back of her neck lifted too. Gabrielle felt the changes.
'Xena? What's wrong?' she asked, lifting her head.
'If you want to save her, you had better plant those lips that you're always flapping, on to hers,' stated Ares.
Gabrielle let out a little scream of shock.
'Relax mortal. I'm not gonna hurt ya,' he said.
She relaxed a little.
'Well, not right now, anyways,' he continued with a laugh.
Gabrielle flinched and hugged Xena a little tighter. Xena glared at Ares with all her might.
'Leave us be, God of War. This is no concern of yours,' she rumbled quietly.
'Xena, Xena, Xena. When are you gonna learn that when you cark it, it'll mean I have to wait another millennia at least or so before I start having any fun again,' replied Ares. 'Sides, you don't want to cark it just yet do you?'
'Then, please, God of War, heal her!' exclaimed Gabrielle.
'Gabrielle!' rasped Xena. 'Never ask the God of War for a favour.'
'She's right, toots. But even if I wanted to right now, I can't, cause she'll stay like this forever, and I want my Warrior Princess back, boobs, legs and all,' said Ares, winking at a livid Gabrielle.
'Then go away! Leave us alone!' yelled Gabrielle.
'Yeah, Bro. You aren't helping the mood at all,' agreed Aphrodite, materialising out of a cloud of sparkles and hearts.
Xena still had the strength to roll her eyes. Damn the gods and their insistence in meddling with her life.
Who was going to pop up next? Were the Fates going to appear and curse her with a new animal form? Maybe a puppy?
As soon as she felt a peculiar but familiar tickling and burning sensation, she immediately regretted her thoughts.
'Er… what's happening here?' asked Ares, not smiling cockily anymore.
'I think we just lost your Warrior Panther…' began Aphrodite, trailing off as they watched the shrinking form.
Gabrielle scrambled about futilely tried to pull the light melting off Xena's form back into her lap.
With a heavy heart, Cyrene had forced herself to go back downstairs and let the rest of the castle know what was going to be their fate. Solan ran to her, cuddling her leg. All of the animals' ears drooped in response to Cyrene's silence and heaving chest.
Ares leapt in shock as Aphrodite let out a hundred decibel squeal right next to his ears.
'It's a puppy!' said Aphrodite, reaching out to hug the suddenly much smaller and much more canine form of Xena Warrior Princess.
Xena, the Destroyer of Nations, had been transformed into a black puppy with cobalt eyes. Aphrodite squealed again, but this time in fright as the puppy snapped at her hand. The puppy then growled with all the veracity of a lion, but with the volume of an ewe's sneeze. Xena seemed to realise this and lowered her ears against her skull, a great pouting expression appearing on her muzzle. Ares and Aphrodite burst out laughing. Gabrielle, on the other hand, had finally realised who that little dog was.
'Xena!' exclaimed Gabrielle. 'Why are you a puppy?'
Puppy Xena pricked her ears up at the sound of the young bard's voice and bounded over to her. At the same time that she was exuberantly licking the laughing Gabrielle's face, in the back of her mind she was extremely embarrassed and enraged with herself. But she couldn't help her behaviour. She wanted to examine her new predicament further, but somehow was compelled to roll over in Gabrielle's lap for a tummy rub instead. And by the gods, it felt so good!
'I feel nauseated,' declared Ares, disappearing in a puff of smoke & lights.
'Yeah, this scene blows,' agreed Aphrodite.
Well, if she couldn't hug the puppy there was just nothing keeping her here. Aphrodite didn't do well with boredom. Aphrodite just shrugged and then disappeared in her signature pink puff of sparkles and love hearts.
All of the servants' eyes widened as they felt her bodies changing.
'Grandma! I'm changing!' exclaimed Solan. 'We're all changing!'
They all ran, each of them transforming back into their original human bodies as they made their way up the stairs to the Conqueror's bedchambers.
'Xena!' cried Cyrene, her long, black hair sprinkled with some grey burst out of her head and flowed behind her.
The little "Ruff!" that greeted her confused her. Had someone not been able to transform back?
'Gabrielle! Where is Xena?' demanded Cyrene.
Gabrielle got up as the puppy leapt from her lap and then began to crawl towards Cyrene almost reluctantly, rubbing her belly across the floor.
'She's fine, Cyrene…' began Gabrielle.
'What is it Gabrielle? And who is this little girl?' asked Cyrene, leaning down to lift the puppy up.
'That's Xena right there,' replied Gabrielle. 'In your arms.'
Cyrene looked down at the little puppy and then gave a great wail of hysterical and exasperated amusement. The puppy yelped and scrambled out of Cyrene's arms. Gabrielle lunged and just caught the little falling body. She sighed in relief and Xena just licked her face in thanks.
'Well, young lady, I think it's safe to assume that you won't be taking up the mantle of the Conqueror again, any time soon. I am going to take this chance to free everyone of their servitude to you,' said Cyrene, once she had composed herself.
Solan was excitedly bouncing about and petting Xena, who let out a little huff at Cyrene.
'But where will we live then, Grandma? You can't live in a castle without servants!' exclaimed Solan.
'You're right, Solan. All stories say that castles must have rulers and servants and since there are none here, you will both have to come live with Lila and me. What do you think?' suggested Gabrielle. 'We are awfully lonely there, all by ourselves.'
Solan started bouncing about again and cheering.
'Oh yes! You can tell me stories everyday!' replied Solan, nodding furiously. 'Oh Grandma, please say yes!'
Cyrene pretended to contemplate this thought. Solan tugged at her skirt lightly and made a very pouty face.
'Yes, Gabrielle, we'd be honoured to come live with you and Lila,' said Cyrene finally.
'And yes, you're coming with me too, Xena,' said Gabrielle. 'And let me tell you, this will make one Tartarus of a story!
Xena just whined mightily. Why wasn't anyone distressed by the fact that she wasn't able to speak anymore? And why weren't they trying to find out how to turn her back into a human?She laid her head on Gabrielle's knee and placed her front paws over her muzzle.
THE END
Was that a peculiar end? I certainly thought so, but my muse refused to let me be any more angst/dramatic, even if romance is a very nice option… So yes… Well, I can always write an alternate ending!