Beyond Repair

By: Lesera128

Rated: M

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am just playing in someone else's sandbox….

Summary: Secrets abound as Skye reluctantly returns to Australia at AJ's behest despite the fact its where her marriage to Jax ended in disaster the previous year. AU. Skye/Jax. SAX.

Author's Note: I am reposting some of the older works that I have saved on my harddrive. Old-time SAX fans may remember this story. It was originally posted under my other penname [MuseofJaynor] at the Skye messageboard fan fiction archive. Many people already know this, but in case you were wondering, yeah, that was me.

Skye's hands came up to quickly wipe away the tears that had escaped from her watering eyes. Highly embarrassed, she was determined that Carly would not see her have an emotional breakdown. Skye had long ago come to realize that letting anyone see you cry was giving them too much of an insight as to what was going on inside of you. Insight leads to knowledge, and knowledge is power. The one thing Skye detested more than anything else on earth was when people had power over her, for power allows people to control. One time, not so long ago, Skye had let someone get close to her. He came to know her from the inside out, like no one had ever known Skye. And, in the end, it had almost destroyed her. Through her experiences with him, Skye had learned that she was better off alone. For when she was alone, the only person who could hurt Skye was Skye herself. And if there was one thing at which Skye excelled, it was wrecking havoc on herself. As a result, she felt no convincing reason why anyone else should be granted that privilege.

"Skye, are you all right?" Carly's voice came at last.

She was unsure how to proceed given the uneasy situation between the two. True, the pair had come to close to something that resembled being friends during Michael's illness, but Carly was unsure what effect her role in the demise of Skye's relationship with Jax had had on Carly's relationship with Skye. The two had never talked about it after that one night, so long ago before, that night when Sydney had been conceived out of a hurried passion of anger and lust.

If she tried hard enough, Carly could almost recall what had taken place in the very room in which she now stood.

"Tell me you don't love her."

"I don't love her. I never did. Don't you know that by now?"

"Then why?"

"Look, just stop it, all right? I didn't come here to argue with you too. I've had about all I can take of arguing with the various females in my life right now."

"What do you want from me?"

"I don't know. I don't know. All I do know is that I am sick to death of fighting."

"Then don't fight. Just go, like I asked you to."

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"Need I remind you that this is my room?"

"Need I remind you that this is my house?"

"Oh, so you want me to leave now? Is that what this has come to?"

"No. You can do whatever you want. Just like you always do."

"I never get want I want, Jax. Surely by now you know that."

"How can you say that?"

"Because it's true."

"My God, you're too deluded for your own good. What have you ever wanted that you have not found some way to get?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

"I'm right here."

"Only because you can't be with her."

"I already told you that wasn't true. I am where I want to be."

"Then prove it."

"How?"

"Take me to bed."

"I'm fine, Carly, just fine." Skye answered at last, breaking into Carly's reverie.

Carly nodded, being snapped back to the present. "All right then. So, unless there is anything else you need?"

Shaking her head, Skye replied, "No, I think I'm fine. I am going to unpack and then get some work done. I still have some ELQ business that needs to be monitored."

Nodding, Carly snapped her fingers as she said, "Right. Of course. That reminds me. I better show you where the office is. We have a main one down stairs, but it's pretty cluttered between A.J. and myself. He still monitors the US stock market, and ELQ, of course. And I have to keep tabs on club business so that my managers realize that a leave of absence doesn't mean they have carte blanche to run 101 into the ground. You're welcome to use it, but we keep a smaller office on the 2nd floor just down the hall that might be more suitable for your needs. It has an internet connection, phone, fax-"

"Why do you keep two offices if you and A.J. share the downstairs office?" Skye asked curiously.

Carly shrugged. "To be honest, we wanted to be closer to the baby. Running down the hall to get Sydney when she is screaming her head off is a lot quicker than running from downstairs."

"She doesn't have a nanny?" Skye asked.

Carly shook her head. "No, not really. After our experience with Michael and Leticia, we decided we wanted to be more "hands-on" parents. We try and give Sydney every advantage which starts with more one-on-one contact with us. We don't want to make the same mistakes with her as we did with Michael. And, don't get me wrong, Leticia was great. But she was such a big part of Micheal's life from the moment he was born, it made it difficult for A.J. and I to find a part of his life that would solely be ours when he relied so heavily on her for everything. So, occasionally when the two of us go out and don't take the baby with us, we use a baby-sitter. But, we pretty much do every thing else ourselves."

Skye bit her lip as she thought of how to respond. Fortunately, Carly saved her as she indicated the door way. "Come on. I'll show you where it is."

Nodding, Skye followed Carly out. They passed one closed door that was the room next to Skye's own before Carly opened the second door down. Inside was a small office as Carly predicted. Small, but adequate. Skye nodded in thanks at Carly. "Yeah, this will do great. Thanks."

"No problem. Now, if you need anything, just call A.J. or I on our cells. We wonder around the house so much, it's the only sure way to keep track of us," Carly said.

"Alright-" Skye said, but she was cut off as a gurgling and soft cooing shattered the air. Skye looked around in bewilderment, before she realized the source of the noises was a small walkie-talkie on the desk.

Carly smiled as she moved forward and grabbed the device. "Oh, sorry. I was working in here before we picked you up from the airport. Baby monitor is all," Carly said as she turned the volume down, but not completely off. She set the monitor back on the desk as

Skye watched her with raised eyebrows. "That was Sydney?" Skye asked softly.

Carly nodded, "She's right next door, so it's really easy to get the best reception in this room unless you are standing over her crib when she is sleeping."

Skye bit her lip. "Her room is right next to mine?"

Carly shrugged slightly in response.

Skye arched an eyebrow as she said, "Odd choice for the location of a nursery. Especially considering it is only one room away from where she was conceived, don't you think?"

The bitterness that was evident in Skye's voice was clear to Carly. However, Carly ignored it. She knew Skye was hurting, and not so long ago Skye had been there for Carly when she had been the one in extreme pain. The least Carly was going to try to do was return the favor.

"It's coincidence really. This side of the house has the ocean view, and A.J. and I thought the room was too beautiful for Sydney not to have her nursery there." Carly responded.

"I see."

Shrugging, Carly said, "Skye, I know this probably isn't the easiest of places to be for you right now, but-"

"You're right, Carly, it's not. It's killing me. Every time I look at Sydney, I see what I could have had had I been in a different place at the right time instead of someone else. She represents all I loved and all I ever wanted and as close as I ever came to achieving it all in one foul swoop. Of course it's difficult for me. How could you expect it to be anything else?"

"I don't. I just want you to know, that- well, there are people here for you if you need it. A.J., of course. And, if you are willing, me, too." Carly said softly.

"You?" Skye said, betraying just a little of the frustrated disgust she felt for Carly.

Carly nodded. "Yes, me. You were so kind to be during Micheal's illness. And the fact that you donated your bone marrow to him when there were no other genetic matches means a lot to me. You gave him a fighting chance at life, even if he eventually lost the battle to the cancer. I will always owe you for that."

"He was my nephew. I would do anything for my blood," Skye said at last.

Carly replied, "Yes, Skye, I know. Believe me, if there is one thing I know about you, it's that."

Silent for a moment, Carly at last turned to the door. "Well, like I said, A.J. and I have our cells on if you need us. We're going to run to the market while Sydney is asleep to get some stuff for dinner. A.J. wants to cook something special in honor of your arrival. What, I'm not sure, considering his talent for cooking, but I figured I would humor him since we have a little time while Sydney is napping. We'll be back in an hour or so. Sydney's baby-sitter is just downstairs. She's a sweet little thing, a native named Melanie, if you happen to see her."

Skye nodded, but said nothing. Carly nodded once by way of good-bye, and softly shut the door behind her.

Sitting down at the desk, Skye collapsed into the chair and allowed herself a few moments to wallow in a pool of self-pity, weeping softly as she had not done since she had left the very house she was in more than a year and a half before.

-TBC-