Chapter Two- …Zelda Wants Her Hero Back.

Location-Kakariko Village; Caregiver's Home

"I take care of travelers and the homeless here, if they need a place to sleep and food on their plate, my home is always open." The woman explained, watching Shawn and Sam inhale the stew she made. (Sam's was put into a thimble and cut up into tiny pieces for her consumption.)

"So, how do you like the dress Shawn?" Sam jabbed with an evil grin causing Shawn to put his correctly proportioned hat over her to make her shut up.

"So here's my question, isn't there a guy that's supposed to save the world from all this destruction crap already?" Shawn blurted, knowing it was off topic, but he had to know.

"Well, that's an out of the blue question, but yes, those are his clothes and since you were found in similar garb, I assumed it was supposed to be you." The woman said. "You even have the fairy with you." She added.

"NOT A FAIRWEE!" Sam yelled, muffled by the hat that Shawn was holding down.

"Well, then what are you two?"

"Uhm…"

"Mmmrrmmm…"

"Well I'm obviously the Hero of Time! Just like Sam said, I'm the grand vanquisher of evil!" Shawn said boisterously, taking a dramatic pose; giving Sam the chance to get out from under the hat of 'stinky doom'. "And that abomination next to me is my sidekick Sammy!" he added. He was taking advantage of Sam's diminished size and lacking capabilities to truly harm him. "I just call her Sam because she doesn't like her real name."

"I'm going to kill you…or bite your ear off, either way, I'm gonna go Mike Tyson on you…" Sam growled. She never minded too much being called Samantha, she liked Sam most, and she hated beyond all reason the name Sammy. No one called her Sammy for fear of a swift boot to the groin. (if you were male, and all of her friends were male)

"Do it later Sammy! We have important world saving stuff to talk about!" Shawn said dramatically putting her back in the [Linken's Helm of Stinky Doom]. (+38 Fairy Killing Power, +45 Stamina, +35 Strength; Requires Level 80 or Title-Hero of Time. This apparently is what Sam thinks the stats are for it.)

A few hours went by as Shawn and Sam took a rest on the extra beds in the woman's home, the two were trying to think of what exactly happened to launch them here, and what exactly they were supposed to do. Shawn was lying down on the bed next to the nightstand that had Sam sleeping on a small towel. 'Man, if only I had played that game that Sam played all the time that this place is from, I'd know more of what to do without asking her to tell me everything, not to mention her strategic skills are crap.' Shawn thought to himself. He looked down at his tunic and picked at it with a frown on his face. 'This doesn't make sense either, what did I do? Literally replace the main character or something?' he asked himself in his head as he flopped his head back, figuring he probably wouldn't be able to get answers until the morning.

Shawn woke up and rubbed his eyes and noticed that Sam was missing. "Great, she's probably running around getting herself in trouble." He sighed, getting up and putting the hat on his belt, he didn't mind the tunic too much, but the hat was just too dorky…cosplaying just wasn't his thing anyways.

"Oh man! If only the graphics could look like this in the game!" came a sqwee from a few yards off, Shawn looked over to his left and saw Sam admiring the buildings with big ogling eyes. As Sam was finally getting used to the flying, she flitted around looking at all the different areas of the village. "Dude, I hated getting those damn chickens…oh hey, the skulltula isn't there. Hmmm…definitely don't wanna go into the graveyard…" she was muttering to herself. She was also studying how much this place was similar to the game, and it seemed to be exactly the same which would make getting through this a lot easier. She turned around to see the open end of [Linken's Helm of Stinky Doom] as she yelped and flew back.

Shawn laughed and put the hat down, "Sorry, gotta keep you in line somehow. So what are you doing?" he asked, looking at the building that Sam was studying.

"Just studying something and figuring out what we have to do here." Sam replied.

"Sounded you were having a nerdfest from what I could tell." Shawn said, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay I was admiring the realness; I can't even tell if this is an actual place, an alternate virtual reality, or something…I mean, it's exactly like the Hyrule I know, but…" Sam said her words fading as she went pensive.

"Anyways, is there someone that we can get some definite information from?" Shawn asked.

"Hmmm…I'd say if we could get to her somehow, Princess Zelda; but from what I can tell, we're not in the young Link part of the timeline, which makes her technically inaccessible due to a big bad." Sam explained. "There is someone else who's just as good as talking to Zelda; problem is that Sheik is picky about when to show up unlike a Zelda that always stays in one spot. Wait, maybe if we were to find the Master Sword it'd flush her out…Hey Shawn, you like zombies?"

"No, I hate them, and I have no weapons, why do you ask?" Shawn said, a frown scrunching up his pale face.

"Ha ha, welcome to the club, here's a tip, just keep running and follow me." Sam said, a sick look on her face as she hated the Redeads here…at least these ones didn't freeze you…or so she hoped.

The two arrived at Hyrule Town's gate, which was like Sam expected, the drawbridge was broken and a dark aura loomed over the town. "Well...it's zombie time." Sam said flatly, a grossed out look plaguing her face.

Shawn walked inside the town with Sam hiding behind his shoulder, "Hey aren't you supposed to be the guide here?" he snapped at her, picking her off his shoulder.

"But but! It's just to the right! You can't miss it!" Sam whined, trying to get out of Shawn's grip. "I-I mean c'mon these are Redeads!" she cried, genuinely scared half to death of the zombies ahead.

"Oh quit being a damn baby, these 'redeads' can't be that bad…" Shawn said.

"It's bad enough to give me nightmares just by playing the game alone; I did NOT need to see this to make me scared shitless!" Sam yelled, tears coming out of her eyes.

"Good grief…really; are you seriously that scared of this?" Shawn balked. He heaved a sigh as Sam nodded; the girl wasn't one for acting like the helpless female so seeing her like this was a new experience for Shawn. "Fine, get on my shoulder, I'll figure it out." He said, letting Sam go and get on his shoulder. He ran towards the center square and stopped in his tracks, there were tons of them. 'But but! It's just to the right! You can't miss it!' echoed in his head, he looked to the right and saw the stairway up towards a large cathedral that loomed over the town. "I assume that's where we're going?" he said quickly to Sam.

"Yep that's the Temple of Time." Sam replied.

Shawn made a mad dash avoiding the redeads towards the temple's steps, he managed to get past them but the shrieks they wailed were a new thing for Shawn, he could easily figure why Sam would be scared of these things. He ran up the stairs and inside the Temple, quickly closing the door he looked at Sam. "Are they going to follow us in here?" he asked her.

"Nope, not that I know of at least…" Sam said looking emotionally exhausted. "Well, there's one thing that's right in this place, the three stones are still here, which can mean two things. A the sword is still here, B…Link after putting the stones over there to open the door, took the sword which means we're doomed as the sword is lost forever."

"Ah…I like Option A…let's hope it's that one." Shawn said flatly, not liking the 'doomed' comment. He ran towards the door but a shadowed figure jumped in his way causing him to skid and fall backwards on to his behind. "Whoa! Jeez don't give me a heart attack now!" Shawn yelled at the figure.

"Oh hey, it's Sheik, I knew if we came here we'd find h-him." Sam said, nearly slipping with her words, causing Shawn to raise an eyebrow and give her a look.

"Well, you two got here all right I see." Sheik said, looking down at them, watching Shawn get up. "You're taller than I thought you would be…"

"A lot of people say that." Shawn said. "So what are we doing here? Isn't there a guy that already does all of this?"

"Yes, but he disappeared…" Sheik said. "Princess Zelda, realizing what had happened and pulled you here, you're to complete Link's mission until he returns…if he returns at all…"

"Does Link have the Master Sword?" Sam asked, causing Sheik to look surprised.

"I'd have figured you wouldn't know what that is, have you been here before?" Sheik asked.

"Ha! Kinda." Sam answered, avoiding Sheik's gaze.

Sheik shook his head, "It's all right that'll make Shawn's life a little bit easier if you know what to do. The sword is in the room behind me; Link left it behind, we don't know why he would though…"

"Well, it's a lucky thing he did in the end, so let's go get it huh?" Sam said.

"You can put it that way…I would have preferred if he had never disappeared at all." Sheik said, folding his arms and looking away causing Sam to feel like she might have said something wrong.

"Hey Sheik, sorry if I insulted you." Sam said sheepishly looking down.

"It's fine, as you can tell, this isn't an easy time for anyone in this land."

"Well, I'm going to go get the sword so we can get this ordeal done, the faster the better in my opinion." Shawn Interrupted, before making his way towards the Pedestal of Time.

Sam blinked twice and jumped, "Wait for me!" she called out, putting her way after Shawn being followed by Sheik. Shawn stopped short of the sword and raised his brow. "Hey, something wrong; it's easy just grab the hilt and pull!" Sam ordered.

"I'm just stuck on how corny this is…" Shawn muttered glaring daggers at the sword. "I mean c'mon really? Did they have to rip off King Arthur?"

Sam looked back at Sheik who was at the entrance listening to Shawn complaining about the housing of the sword. "Yeah, bitch about that later; just get the damn sword before Sheik decides to kill you before you learn how to use it…" Sam hissed out of Sheik's earshot.

"Fine…" Shawn grumbled, pulling the sword with ease out of the stone with one hand. "That was easy…" he said flatly looking at the purple hilt of the Master Sword. "What do I do now?" he asked Sheik.

"Go to Kakariko Village, you're going to want to get the hookshot from the grave keeper in the Kakariko Village's graveyard. After you've done that, you'll want to go to the Lost Woods and head to the Forest Temple." Sheik instructed. "Your fairy should know how to navigate the world fairly easily."

"Wait, how did you know I knew this place, I'm not even from this planet, and I am not actually a fairy, I got turned into one when me and Shawn landed here!" Sam barked, jabbing her finger at Sheik. "You wanna explain that or should we just leave it to coincidence?"

"Let's shove it on coincidence for now; we don't want complications now do we?" Sheik said flatly before disappearing with the loud crack of a deku nut.

"Urrrrgh….great, I guess I gotta drag him around…fun." Sam grumbled to herself causing Shawn to grab her and shove her in the hat.

"I'll let you out of there when you don't talk about me when I'm 2 inches away from you." Shawn scolded. He tied the hat to his belt and walked out of the Temple of Time.

Shawn remembered where to go for Kakariko Village so he didn't need to let Sam out of the hat just yet. When the two got to the village Shawn finally untied the hat and let his friend out. Sam screamed at him for a few good, long winded minutes before finally calming down and after Shawn reminded Sam that they needed to go to the graveyard, she reluctantly led the way and as she pointed out the grave marker that they needed to move Shawn stepped back and shook his head. "Oh hell no, I'm not jumping down a damn grave hole, and plus graves are only about 6 feet deep, why the hell would we be 'jumping' into that?"

"This isn't a typical grave, just pull the marker back and take a look yourself!" Sam replied.

"No! That's just wrong!" Shawn yelled.

"…Hey Shawn, you remember those redeads you weren't afraid of back at the castle?" Sam inquired with a grin. "We're only going to race a ghost for the hookshot…and if you take a wrong turn imagine those, but they can scream to paralyze you, and hump your back until you keel over." She added under her breath.

"…wait they WHAT?" Shawn yelled causing Sam to lose altitude for a moment.

"Don't worry, just avoid the paths with the money on the ground and you'll be fine!" Sam said quickly. "Don't go down the money paths, and we're zombie free!"

"…I get touched by any zombies like that, and you're dead." Shawn growled, jabbing his finger into Sam's stomach.

"Yeah yeah…chill. Just run your butt off and we'll be fine." Sam sighed.

"So, you want my treasure? You're going to have to earn it, race me to the end of this place and you can have my treasure." Dampe said before disappearing and the door behind him opening. Shawn sprinted as fast as he could with Sam hanging onto his shoulder and came up on the first fork in the path…unlike what Sam had said, there was no money in sight on the ground…

"Sam, you said there was going to be money on the ground of the wrong paths, where is it?" Shawn asked irritably not looking at her.

"Uhm….Shit?" Was all that Sam could say, "I know the first way is left, so turn left and I'll try to go by memory."

"…Your memory sucks!" Shawn yelled, but with nothing better to rely on, he turned left and followed Sam's directions. This was a lot harder than anything Shawn has done physically before, but honestly it was about a little worse than running from an enraged Sam who's locked on with a foot missile aimed at his groin. A few minutes passed as they continued down the path, Sam wasn't doing too badly with remembering the run luckily and they were nearing the end when they got to the hardest part, Shawn groaned as his side was splitting with pain as he was tired from running and being scared out of his wits of the screaming molesting zombies.

"Crap! The final door! It's almost closed!" Sam yelled, pointing at the door only a few yards away. Shawn sprinted as fast as he could with his long Irish legs. The door was only 3 feet from closing when Shawn dove through and tumbled to a stop in front of Dampe and a large chest.

"Well, here it is, as I promised." Dampe said, before disappearing. Shawn got up and dusted himself off, walked a few feet forward, and opened the chest to retrieve the Hookshot.

"This think looks like it'll be fun." Shawn said laughing, "Wonder if it can handle my weight…" he added, the device was so small it seemed like it would break if he tried to use it.

"Ha, you think you're fat or something? I guess it's something you should be worried about." Sam said teasingly.

"Yeah, I'm skinner than you are…in your normal size of course, but still! I'm skinner than you!" Shawn yelled.

"THAT'S NOT SOMETHING TO SAY TO A WOMAN!" Sam yelled back.

"When have you ever cared about being a woman or about womanly worries like weight?" Shawn demanded.

"Well I may not act like a woman as much as others but that doesn't mean I'm any less of a girl than any others!" Sam barked back.

"…Well I'm sorry then! I figured you could take a joke." Shawn snipped turning around and walking towards the exit with Sam keeping on his heel.

"Meh, I hate female tendencies…they get me in trouble." Sam grumbled after about twenty minutes of silence between the two friends.

"Ha, you can't help what you are I guess, even if you're a tiny screaming fairy." Shawn said with a chuckle.

"…Screw off dude, lulz." Sam said.

"Lulz? Really Sam?"

"What? I do that all the time!"

"That's so lame, haha."

"Bite me wench." That was the last of the argument before Shawn and Sam were outside the Entrance to the Kokiri Forest.

Hope you enjoyed the story so far, forgive my lack of accuracy towards dialog with the npcs/main characters, I haven't played OoT in forever and I'm just doing a play through as I write this, so forgive any misspellings or what not. …Also my friend is demanding me to play Windwaker as I never had it due to lack of a Gamecube and only recently got a Wii so I'm busy with that.