I had had two days off this week but I had been in the hospital every night to see Dean. The truth was, I was really falling for him and not in the silly schoolgirl crush or lusty way, but the real kind of falling for him. We talked and I was really getting to know and like the person that he was. And it wasn't lust because I knew that I liked him for more than just his looks, not like that hurt anything. He was a very attractive man, I had to admit that. It seemed like from what he had told me he had mainly gotten with girls just for sex but this felt different. I liked him for him and I hoped that he liked me for me. He couldn't just be putting up with me for sex because he had been in the hospital for quite some time. He could just hit on someone else but he hadn't been. This felt real.
We made rounds first. I then checked on all of my other patients before finally making my way to Dean. Today was somewhat special feeling. I guess Dean and I were starting to acknowledge that we were developing feelings for each other. He'd shoot me a glance and I'd look away or we'd share a secretive smile. It was all stolen glances and secret smiles. I wasn't going to lie, it was hot. Currently, there was a nurse in Dean's hospital room giving him medicine and stuff. I went into the room and the nurse glared at me, immediately storming out of the room.
"Hey, what was that all about?" I asked, acknowledging Dean. I checked his heart monitor and wrote down a couple of things to his chart. He was doing really well and I knew I'd miss him when he'd leave the hospital.
"Oh the nurses are just jealous that you've been having hot scrabble dates with… what're they calling me again, McSteamy?" he asked, chuckling a little.
"Oh don't get cocky about it," I said, calling him out.
"I'm just saying," he replied, faking defense.
"So hot scrabble dates huh?" I asked, curiously. I sat down next to him on his hospital bed.
"You should know. You've been there," Dean replied.
"Hm, I didn't know they were hot," I said.
"Well you should've. I was there," he smirked, reaching out and holding my hand which made my heart rate increase about a billion times faster.
I laughed. I liked where we were at the moment. I liked the way he held my hand, the way he made cocky jokes, the way he looked at me. It was all so bad but so very, very good. I had to remind myself that right now I couldn't do this and that I was his doctor.
"So it's been two weeks. You start your physical therapy today," I started, pulling away from Dean and standing up. He gave me a confused look but then snapped out of it.
"Uh yeah, I do," Dean replied, suspiciously.
"Let me know how it goes," I said. Just then, my pager went off. Saved by the bell! That was extremely convenient. "Oh shoot, okay I have to go. I'm being called for surgery but I'll come back later tonight."
"Tonight?" Dean asked.
"Yeah it's about an eight hour surgery and I've got other patients to take care of, silly," I said, trying to loosen up a bit. He knew I was acting weird already.
"Okay, I'll see you tonight," he said. The two of us just stared at each other and he looked like he wanted to kiss me now.
"Yeah, I'll see you," I said, trying not to seem like I was in a hurry to leave but I was. "Fuck."
I couldn't figure my feelings out at all. I was really falling for Dean and I really liked him but at the same time this was against the rules. I was a doctor, not his girlfriend. The relationship would be terribly unprofessional and inappropriate and was overall just a bad idea. But then there was that little voice that reminded me about how much I liked him and how he made me feel. I thought about the way he looked at me, his smile, that smirk of his, and the fact that I thought about him a lot. Come to think about it, I thought about all the time.
I had been making extra trips to the hospital or staying late just to be with Dean. Just yesterday I had passed up an appendectomy so that I could be with Dean. What was happening to me? I shook the thoughts from my mind and went into the OR to get prepped. I needed to not think about it. Was this screwing my career over? Would purging Dean from my life screw me up even more? There were always other fishes in the sea but something was telling me not to let this one go.
After surgery and after checking on my other patients I went to the on call room just clear my head and think. I groaned, laying down on the bed and closing my eyes. I took a deep breath in. I shouldn't be doing this but I knew if I'd see him than I'd just want him even more. It was no use. I had two choices. I could leave the case or I could let myself succumb. In the end, leaving the case would be worse so I knew what I had to do. I had to try my hardest not to succumb to temptation, even though I knew that I most likely would. Well this was going to be fun.
I took in another deep breath before opening my eyes again. I had told Dean that I would go see him and I probably should stick to that. Plus, he'd probably wonder where I was. But would he? Did he even think about me? The fact that I was even asking these questions meant that I had it a lot worse than I thought. I groaned before getting up off of the bed and going back into the hospital.
"Hey, Montgomery. Nice work in the OR today. I'll see you tomorrow," Dr. Coats said.
"Oh right! Because I'm off already. Right," I mumbled. "And thank you, by the way for the opportunity. The surgery, quite frankly was… thrilling!"
"You deserved it," was all Dr. Coats replied.
"Thank you," I smiled, extremely honored. And that's when it hit me. I was starving. I decided to run home, make dinner, and then I'd come back to see Dean. Was it bad that one of the only things I could think about was what I was going to wear? Ughh, yep, I had it bad.
I drove home to find my house unlocked. I went into the kitchen where the rest of my friends were, "Hey guys."
"Hey, how was your surgery?" Bradley asked.
"Great! It went well," I answered. "How was everyone's day?"
"Good," Katie replied, chipperly. "Here , babe. Try this." She spoon fed Bradley a piece of cheesecake.
"Mm, good," Bradley smiled at Katie.
"You made cheesecake?" I asked.
"Yep. And there's left over Chinese in the fridge. Well, that's what we had for dinner. Figured you'd be fine with it too," Katie answered.
"Where's Alex?" I asked.
"He went out with a couple of guys from ortho," Katie answered.
"Ew. Why?" I asked.
"Be nice. He's branching out," Bradley reminded.
"Yeah, but the guys from ortho? Really? That's like… trying to make friends with the entire football team and then attempting to hold an intellectual conversation with them. The guys from ortho are such jerks!" I exclaimed.
"Don't get on him about it," Katie defended.
"Hm, I'm sure he'd love that actually," Bradley teased.
"What?" I exclaimed.
"Nothing, no, nothing," Bradley said back, covering up his comment.
"Okay, well I'm going to warm up the left overs and then go back to the hospital. Do you think I could take a piece of your cheese cake back?" I asked, curiously.
"Sure, why?" Katie asked.
"Don't be silly, Katie. She wants to take it back to her boo," Bradley teased.
"He is not-, he's not mine!" I protested.
"Ooh, are we still talking about McSteamy?" Katie asked.
"No. It's, we're friends, that's all and even that pushes the boundaries. I just thought a change from the hospital food would be nice and he started physical therapy today too," I added.
"Yeah, sure," Katie answered.
"Thanks," I replied. I sighed. Did they suspect anything? I didn't want to say anything else in fear of hearing what they had to say about me and Dean. It'd probably just make me freak out even more. I quickly ate dinner and then took a piece of cheesecake before hurrying back to the hospital.
"Can I come in?" I asked, standing in the doorway to Dean's hospital room.
"Took you long enough," Dean teased. I rolled my eyes playfully and walked into the room. I sat on the chair next to his bed and set my purse down.
"Sorry, I uh, ran home to get dinner and change and then come back," I mumbled.
"You're fine. I was just starting to wonder whether I was being stood up or not," Dean replied.
"I was going to stop by earlier but just figured I'd stop by later after I ate and changed into something more comfortable… you know," I said back. I had decided on a pair of jeans, my converse, and a green v-neck tee that was flattering yet comfortable.
"I like…" he smirked, looking me up and down.
"Stop," I blushed, rolling my eyes and looking down out of flattery and awkwardness. "Hey, so how did therapy go today?"
"It was fine. Everything hurts but you know, besides that…" Dean said sarcastically.
I chuckled, "I bet you're doing great!"
He shrugged, "I'm pretty sore though. I could use a massage." He had that mischievous look in his eye and I giggled at his not so subtle hint.
"Are you asking me to give you a massage?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow at him.
"Yeah, pretty much," Dean answered.
"Hmm well I guess as your doctor I am allowed to. I'm supposed to tend to all of your needs," I replied, wittily.
"Mm, I can think of a couple of needs I'd like you to tend to," he smirked.
"Not those kinds of needs!" I exclaimed hitting him playfully.
"Ow!" He exclaimed.
"Sorry!" I hissed, forgetting that he was injured. "Okay, what hurts?"
"My legs… right above the knee…" Dean started.
"Well, okay, I can help with that," I said, shrugging innocently. I started to massage his legs and he closed his eyes.
"Yeah, that's good," he groaned before opening his eyes again. "A little higher." I shot him a funny look but moved my hands up a little higher and kept massaging his right thigh. "A little bit higher." I started to realize where my hands were going and smacked him again. "Ow! ... Really?"
"Okay, perv, we're done with this little massage thing," I said.
"It was worth a shot," Dean chuckled. "You need to lighten up a little. It was a joke!"
I rolled my eyes trying to hold back a laugh, "And by lighten up you mean rip my clothes off and screw you? I don't think so, Dean." Before he could ask anything else I changed the subject. "So I brought you something."
"Oh yeah?" he asked.
"Yeah, Katie made cheesecake and thought it'd be nice for you to have something other than hospital food for once," I said. I bent down and got the cheesecake that I had wrapped up for Dean along with two forks. "Here." I hopped up onto Dean's hospital bed and sat on the edge of it.
"Wow, looks great," Dean said.
"I thought you'd say that," I said back. I took a bite of the cheesecake from my fork and handed him his own fork.
"Wow… good. Really good," Dean commented.
"I'll be sure to let Katie know," I answered.
"So… you seein' anyone?" Dean asked.
I shoot him a funny look, "No reason, just curious." There was an awkward silence between us before I said something else.
"What about you?"
"Nope. I'm in a different town every week. No time. Though I do get tons of tail on the road, just in case you were wondering," Dean replied, cockily.
"Oh, don't flatter yourself and for the record, I wasn't wondering," I reminded, taking another fork full of cheesecake. "What is it you do again that keeps you on the road?"
Dean sighed, "I thought I said that was a long story."
"Yeah, well we've talked about a lot of things that have been 'a long story'. Don't worry, you don't have to tell me or anything. I was just curious," I shrugged.
"I don't know… I'm not quite sure I should share that long story yet," Dean said back.
"What… are you in the mafia or something? Oh, or maybe you're a bounty hunter…" I said, fantasizing about the different jobs that Dean could be.
Dean chuckled, "Not really, but close."
"Oh, I've got it. You're probably secretly this rock star that tours around the country all the time and that only goes by Dean Winchester so that no one knows it's really you," I said, chuckling at my idea.
"Yep, you caught me," Dean said, playing along with my game.
I laughed, "I thought so. You definitely seem like the Jimmy Page kind of guy."
"You know Led Zeppelin?" Dean asked.
"I love Led Zeppelin!" I exclaimed.
"Really?" Dean asked, unconvinced.
"Yes!" I said, playfully defensive.
"Fine. Top five bands. Go," Dean ordered.
"Fine. Um… in no particular order: Led Zeppelin, The Clash, The Ramones, Metallica, and Jimmy Eat World," I replied.
"Wow, I'm impressed," Dean smiled.
"Well, I had a phase in high school… turns out that phase never really ended," I shrugged.
"Well, I'll be damned. I really have found the perfect woman. Smart, great taste in music, sexy…" Dean said.
"Stop, please, Dean, really," I replied, blushing.
"What? It's true!" Dean shrugged. His hand moved past my waist and I jumped a little. He shot me a curious look. "What was that?"
"Nothing," I replied, innocently as if nothing happened.
"No, you just jumped when I touched you here," Dean replied returning his hand to my waist and tickling me a little. I shimmied away from him. "Are you… ticklish?"
"No!" I exclaimed, hoping he wouldn't find out but it was too late.
"Oh yes you are!" Dean smirked and before I could move, he grabbed me by my waist and tackled me down to the bed and began to feverishly tickle me. I shrieked, squealed, and squirmed beneath him as he tickled me.
"Dean!" I squealed. "Dean stop it! Please! Dean, you're get me all tangled up in the wires!" I was referring to the hospital machines he was still hooked up to. He had an IV and heart monitors.
"I'd like you to be tangled up in me… just in another way," Dean smirked, leaning down in towards me but I pushed his face away with my hand and the two of us laughed.
"Are you going to get off of me?" I asked.
"I don't know. I kind of like the view from here," Dean replied.
I rolled my eyes, "Okay look, I'm your doctor and doctor's orders say that you should be in bed, not on top of a girl."
"No in bed on top of a girl is just what the doctor ordered," Dean smirked.
"Dean," I groaned.
"Besides, right now you're off work. You're not my doctor right now. You're just… a friend visiting me," Dean said back.
"We're friends?" I asked, a smile spreading across my face.
"I'd like to think so," Dean replied.
A smiled widely, "Yeah me too."
"Mr. Winchester, no more visitors. Dr. Montgomery, you should probably go home. Lights out for the patients now," a nurse said coming in. My eyes widened in alarm and Dean got off me. I practically sprang out of the bed.
"Sorry! Um, I slipped and fell and he uh, yeah…" I trailed off, knowing there was no way out of this.
"Right," the nurse replied unconvinced.
"Thanks uh, I'll finish up Mr. Winchester's stuff for tonight and uh, I'll bring it down to the nursing station. I'm gonna go though. I promise," I said, awkwardly.
"Okay," the nurse said back. I nodded awkwardly and she left.
"So that's awkward," I said as soon as the nurse left. "I should go though. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Since when are you calling me Mr. Winchester again?" Dean asked.
"I just wanted to uh, you know, be formal and everything since I'm your doctor and you're my patient and uh... yeah," I said. It was hitting me. Sure, I was really starting to like this guy but he was my patient and I was being really bad about this.
"While I was on top of you?" Dean asked. "Yeah, that's a real formal relationship."
"Yeah, thanks for reminding me," I replied sarcastically. "Sorry, I should get going though. Tonight was…"
"Good, up until that."
I nodded, "It was." I smiled at Dean. I took his chart off of the table and finished up scribbling what I needed down. "I'll see you, Dean."
"You too," Dean replied. The two of us looked at each other as if there was something left to say but I knew I really needed to leave.
"Good night," I said.
"Good night, Jennie," Dean said back. I smiled a little before finally leaving. Shit, what was I getting myself into?