Beyond Repair

By: Lesera128

Rated: M

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am just playing in someone else's sandbox….

Summary: Secrets abound as Skye reluctantly returns to Australia at AJ's behest despite the fact its where her marriage to Jax ended in disaster the previous year. AU. Skye/Jax. SAX.

Author's Note: I am reposting some of the older works that I have saved on my harddrive. Old-time SAX fans may remember this story. It was originally posted under my other penname [MuseofJaynor] at the Skye messageboard fan fiction archive. Many people already know this, but in case you were wondering, yeah, that was me.

Twilight. It was a magical time no matter where on earth one was. But, for some reason, the hour just before the sun set seemed especially magical. From his location on the coast, Jasper Jax had a prime view of the sparkling vista. He had left A.J. alone in the kitchen, preceding out the back door and down an all too familiar path that lead through the garden, down to the beach, and finally, out towards the water. Acting more on instinct than rational thought, Jax slowly walked down the smooth stone pathway. Reaching the end of it before he had realized what had happened, Jax found himself faced at the end of one path and the beginning of another... both literally and figuratively.

Bending down, more out of habit than necessity, he quickly kicked off his black business shoes. Although the dress code in Australia was considerably more casual than what was appropriate in the states, Jax was in the habit of wearing a coat and tie to most of his business dealings no matter where he was. His one concession to his location had been a casual pair of khaki pants as opposed to black or gray trousers. Placing his socks inside the loafers, for some reason Jax then unbuttoned his jacket and placed it over the side of the stone fence that separated the property for the beach. Unbuttoning the cuff links on his white dress shirt, he rolled the sleeves up to mid-arm before doing like wise with the khakis. Loosening his tie, he quickly slipped that off his neck and placed it gently on top of the jacket. With one final movement, Jax popped the top collar button on his shirt loose and the transformation was complete. More at ease than he thought possible, it was almost as if in the shedding of his business attire, Jax felt a part of himself that he had thought he had left behind on this very beach return. He hadn't really been to this particular spot since he had come here after Skye had run away from him at their daughter's grave and the bad memories almost threatened to overwhelm him.

Only, that hadn't been their daughter's grave… had it? Their daughter was alive and well. She wasn't dead, and for the first time in a very long time, Jax felt the faint flicker of hope burn within him. Perhaps if Sydney had survived, despite all the odds against, than maybe that part of him that he thought Skye had so mercilessly destroyed wasn't gone after all. Hurt? Yes. In hiding? Most assuredly. But completely gone? No- perhaps not.

Moving softly across the sand, the salt breeze of the ocean caressed Jax's face like an old friend welcoming him home. He moved slowly, for he knew that each step he took closer to her was a step closer to choosing a specific fork in the road. Come what may, it would be settled between them once and for all no matter what after today.

A few moments passed as Jax allowed himself to breathe deeply of the sea air. It was invigorating to him for more reasons than he cared to admit. Probably the most important reason was that the particular sensation it evoked was connected not only to overwhelming sadness, but also deep happiness… to a series of memories that Jax had once treasured above all else. Indeed, perhaps he did still hold them of some value or else why would he be recalling them now?

At last, Jax came to his goal. He stopped a few steps away from her.

She was sitting at the edge of the dry sand, watching the tide come in and out. High tide was coming in, and the water was coming closer to where Skye sat with each movement of the water. However, she was too preoccupied with her thoughts to notice his arrival.

Again, Skye had allowed mind to wonder and let the refuge offered by this beach sooth her. For just a few moments more, Skye enjoyed the serenity that the Australian nature was offering her. Ironically, Skye noted with amusement that it was twilight.

Dusk.

That one time of day that had once been hers and Jax's alone to share. Before... all before that one fateful day that she had gone to the doctor for a normal check up. And, ironically, it had been the last scheduled one following the operation for her to donate her bone marrow for Michael. Six weeks after that night with Jax, a mere six weeks of happiness was all that Skye had been granted. Six weeks of bliss with the man she loved, before a doctor cruelly snatched it all away with those few single words.

"You're pregnant, Ms. Chandler-Quartermaine," Dr. Kavira told her, staring at the blood work.

Skye sat up from where she had been laying down on the table, clutching the medical gown to her body tightly. She stared at him wide-eyed, in shock.

"I'm what?" Skye whispered.

The doctor repeated it for her. "You're pregnant, Skye."

Her hands went to her mouth in surprise as a gasp escaped her lips. "But... how?"

Dr. Kavira shook his head. "Well, I assume we aren't dealing with another immaculate conception? You are sexually active with your boyfriend, are you not?"

Boyfriend. What a trite word for the relationship that existed between she and Jax. However, it was a moot point as Skye nodded her head.

"Well, that explains the how," the doctor said, as he placed his clipboard down and nodded at Skye. "Why don't you lie back down, and we'll see how far along you are?"

Still not processing the information, Skye mutely did as she was told. Placing his warm hands just over her abdomen, the doctor gently began to massage the area. Gently pressing here and there, Skye was too distracted with staring at the ceiling as she tried to let the information sink in that she didn't notice the frowns or worry lines creasing the brow of her doctor.

Biting her lip, at last Skye was able to say, "But, I thought that the reason you put me on birth control pills was to keep something like... like this from happening."

Continuing to press gently into her stomach, the doctor absentmindedly said, "You know oral contraceptives aren't 100% foolproof, Skye. That's why I also recommended you use a second form of birth control just to be on the safe side. Haven't you?"

Skye opened her mouth to answer. She and Jax had been so careful. She had never told him why she insisted upon the extra precautions. He had been satisfied enough with her reasoning that between their careers, and the fact that their relationship was still in the formative stages, that a child wasn't a good variable to mix in to the equation. He had had no idea of her real reasons- that she would have sold her soul to give him a child. But, she honestly believed that she wasn't capable due to the lasting ramifications of one dangerous night of stupidity and alcohol that had resulted in a disastrous car crash that had left her, for all intensive purposes, barren.

And, then Skye thought of that one night. That one night in her bedroom after Jax's argument with Carly. Caught up in the moment and the pure physicality of the act itself, neither one of them had given any thought to something as trivial as using a condom, let alone what the ramifications might be if they didn't.

"Well?" the doctor prodded her.

Skye shook her head as she said. "There was one... one time about two months ago that we... Forgot."

Dr. Kavira nodded. "Well, if I had to guess, that was probably when you conceived. I wouldn't put money on it, but I think you're about seven weeks along. Have you been experiencing any dizziness or nausea lately? Fatigue?"

Skye shook her head. "No. Nothing. I haven't felt this well since before... before the operation," Skye said softly. "And, I didn't think to come to you because I just attributed my period being late to the medication you prescribed following the transplant. I remember you saying that the drug might cause side effects, and I just thought my courses being late might be one of them."

The doctor shook his head. "No, it wasn't a side effect of the medications. You're pregnant. I am going to go ahead and write you a prescription for prenatal vitamins, and give you the name of a specialist regarding high risk pregnancies. I've reviewed your case records from the states, and while I think we might have to pay close attention to your condition, I don't think their is any reason why you shouldn't be able to carry the baby close to term. Medical technology and breakthroughs in the drug industry have been monumental in the fifteen years since your accident. And with a little luck, I don't think their isn't any reason why in six or seven months you won't be holding your son or daughter in your arms."

"Really?" Skye said.

The doctor nodded with a smile. "Really. Now, I just want to do one last thing before you go. I'd like to do a sonogram, if that's okay with you. Normally, I would wait and have you make an appointment to do it, but my physical examination has made me just one to check on one thing, just to be on the safe side, since you are almost two months along."

"All right-" Skye said softly.

And, so they did the sonogram. And for the first time, Skye saw an image on the screen of the life she carried within her. She saw the small life that she and Jax had created. She saw their child.

Unfortunately, a moment that should have been one of the happiest in her life had turned out to be the saddest. She cried out in physical pain as he told her.

"I'm sorry, Skye. It's- it's an ectopic pregnancy. You don't have any choice but to terminate the pregnancy or you'll kill yourself as well as the child," the doctor had told her.

Tears streaming down her eyes, Skye clutched at the photograph of the sonogram the doctor had given her. She was holding on to it so tightly, she felt as if she let go she would let go of her one remaining hold to a tangible grasp of reality.

She had lost it. So close, and she had lost it. She had damned herself, Jax, and their child before she had even realized that what was done was done. The doctor continued talking to her.

"Of course, you still do have some time to decide a course of action. Go ahead and go talk to your boyfriend. Think about your options. And there is a specialist that you may want to go and see about this. Normally, he works out of London, but you're lucky. I know he is going to be here in Sydney in two weeks doing a special procedure at the Women's Health Center on MacIntosh Street and 54th. It will take some doing, but I think I can get you an appointment. Either way, you need to act quickly. If you don't terminate the pregnancy, there is a good chance you could rupture a blood vessel yourself and start hemorrhaging before anyone realizes what's happening due to where the embryo implanted itself, okay?"

Skye mutely nodded as she sat up and stared with glassy eyes at the doctor.

Lucky. He told her she was lucky. Her child had just been given a death sentence, and he was telling her she was lucky. How lucky was she really?

Coming back into the present, Skye felt her hands go to her stomach. Running her hands up and down it slowly, she thought of the scar that lay hidden under the loose sun dress. Such a small price to pay in the long term of things….

And, thus it was with Skye lost in her thoughts caressing her abdomen that an all too familiar voice floated to her ears on the twilight's wind, softly calling her name.

"Skye."

Turning around, indeed Skye felt as if she were looking at a ghost as a pair of blue eyes came to stare into soft brown ones in a gaze that each thought the other was sure to drown in…..

-TBC-