Week 12 - Delly
Thom is still asleep.
Saul is up and running, but I snuggle closer to Thom. I love to watch him. He's always embarrassed when he notices me staring during the day, even when I point out that he does the same thing. So I take my time to run my fingers through his hair as I try to memorize every freckle on his face.
He's been wearing himself out again. They were doing a bit of overtime to try and finish the first houses, which they succeeded a couple of days ago. Instead of taking a couple of days off, they jumped right into two new houses, one for the McDonalds and another one for the Thompsons. Add that to the stress of doubling our population and you get a very tired crew chief.
Rest doesn't come easy for him. When we arrived here, we decided we would work five days and rest two days a week. He would always find something to do on the weekend, even when I urged him to rest. Only when we got together, was he persuaded to take the days off. A while ago, he told me how he never had days off before. When he was in the community home, all the kids had to work during the weekend, doing laundry, chopping wood, and several other chores. When he started at the mines, he worked six days and on the seventh he always went back to the community house to help them out.
It's a tough habit to break, but we're getting there. We've been spending our Sundays together now, sometimes venturing a bit into the woods by ourselves, to escape a bit from everyone else.
I let him sleep in as long as I can. Not much, because it 's Thursday. Today the train is due to arrive, with the week's provisions and also sixty three new residents. I can't delay it anymore so I gently nudge him with my nose and soft pecks on the corner of his mouth.
"Good morning…" I tell him once he opens one eye to look at me.
In a second he rolls on top of me, and it's impressive how he can do that without his sleeping bag getting in the way.
"Good morning…" he answers back as he gives me a slow and lingering kiss. "What time is it?"
I take a look at his watch, placed just behind our heads. Each crew chief carries one now, courtesy of Peeta Mellark, or should I say his Capitol sponsors.
"Six twenty."
"Ugh." He grunts burying his head into my neck. "Ten minutes is too short of a time to spend with you in the morning."
"I'm sorry for not waking you sooner, but I thought you could use some rest. You looked so peaceful in your sleep." I tell him.
"This is the only time I have you all to myself." He adds mumbling against my skin as he leans into the crook of my neck. I can't ignore the fluttering feeling that arises and I'm not sure if its because of his breath on my neck or him admiting he wants me. Probably both.
"I'll rest tomorrow once everyone is settled in." He adds with a sigh. If I don't move, he'll probably doze off again.
"What happens if you skip your meeting with Jack and Cyrus?" I ask him. He told me last night they have a quick meeting at 6:45 to plan out the day. This brings him to alertness and he lifts his head to look at me.
"They'll realize how stupid it is to have a twenty year old in charge of the construction crew and in the district council?"
He still thinks he shouldn't be the one in charge. He claims he has no idea what he's doing, but then I remind him no one really has more expertise than him. At this point, what we really need is for someone that others listen too. And Thom does it better than everyone else.
I run my hand through his hair again as I lift my head up to him. "You should make good use of your last few minutes then."
I don't need to tell him twice. He kisses me and it progresses faster than usual. His mouth is hot and demanding as I open his sleeping bag. I suppress a moan when he finally presses his body against mine and we freeze for a few seconds, his eyes searching my face for signs of discomfort. This is new. I move slightly, allowing him to settle better and this time it's him who gasps.
"Is this ok?" He asks as he tentatively rocks his hips against me.
"Yes…" Is all I manage to say.
He does it again as his lips clash against mine, his hand going beneath my shirt. I'm about to make a move to take it off when his six thirty alarm goes off.
"You should have woken me as soon as Saul got out." He says, leaning his forehead against mine.
"Don't go."
"I have to, Delly."
"I'm not wearing a bra."
I feel his hand tensing against my ribcage. He skims his hand to my back and up, trying to be sure. I giggle when I see the pained look on his face when he realizes I'm telling the truth.
"I have two minutes and that's already stretching it."
I take his watch and set a timer for two minutes.
"It's counting."
He keeps focused on me for the whole of the two minutes. We don't kiss. We just watch each other, his eyes filled with admiration. His tongue darts to wet his lips as his hand wanders slowly. This is new too.
The alarm goes off and he gets up on a jolt. I lift myself on my elbows and watch him as he gets ready. We never undress in front of each other, but he seems to want to repay me or something. He changes his sleeping clothes into working ones with a silly grin on his face the entire time. It only widens when he notices the blush creeping up to my cheeks as I watch him. Damn those abs.
"I'll see you later at the train station, right?" he tells me as he makes a move to leave the tent.
"Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?" I ask him.
"If I do, I'll never leave, Delly."
—-
THOM
The early morning goes by faster than it should. Luckily Jack and Cyrus agreed to put all work on hold for the morning. We have sixty three new residents arriving and we need all the help we can get to get them settled.
Everyone, except the cooks, goes to the train station to wait for them. We use some of the crates by the train station to place all the provisions we need to give out. Sleeping bags, tents, toiletries. We set up a circuit with two or three people at each station, where the newcomers will be able to collect everything they need. Everyone is edgy with anticipation.
As I look around to see everyone working as a team to welcome the new residents it's obvious I made the right choice. Twelve really was my home and always will be. Cyrus is handling the tents along with his team a few yards away and silently salutes me, when he notices me looking his way. Funny how we were strangers only a couple of months ago and now he's someone I would trust with my own life.
We hear the train whistle, and everyone gathers along the platform to try and catch the first glimpse. I take the oportunity to look for Delly. She's with Leevy, Zac, Ric and Cassie, at the sleeping bag station. I wrap my arms around her waist and she immediately turns around to face me, getting a kiss in return.
"What was that for?" She asks me, pleasantly surprised. I rarely initiate physical contact in front of others and she never questioned it, but I know she likes it when I do. It doesn't really come easy for me. Having a girlfriend, being a couple. But I want it. Ever since I lost my parents and my brother, I dream about having a family of my own. Meeting someone special, a true partner, and sharing a life together. But truth is I have no idea what I'm doing. But I'm trying.
"Just a final kiss before everything turns to chaos." And I drop another one for good measure, before I leave. The smitten look she gives me is enough to make me overlook my reservedness.
Once the first newcomers step out of the train it's chaos, indeed. People are eager to know who came back. There's hugging, laughter and effusive cheers, particularly among the newcomers and the bunker group.
We try to get some order to it, but most of the newcomers are more interested in chatting than getting to camp.
"Please collect your sleeping bags to your left!" I say, stepping on top of a bench and raising my voice above the turmoil. "Cyrus Johnson is in charge of the campsite, go see him to get a tent assigned to your family, or to bunk up with another person if you are single. We'll have a district meeting right after lunch."
When I step down, I'm immediately engulfed in a hug.
"We missed you, bro!"
Lenerd Dew, one of my old crew mates, is standing before me. He is a couple of years older than me, and he taught me the ropes when I first entered the mines.
"Lenerd! What…?" I look around and I notice Bristel standing beside him, with a wide smile. The last time I saw them was when I left Thirteen three months ago.
"District Seven wasn't really our thing. We thought about checking out Twelve and see what you've been up to."
"I'm glad you came back." I tell them earnestly, clapping Lenerd on the back.
He heads to the team handing out sleeping bags and leaves me alone with Bristel.
"I missed you." She tells me as she takes my hand. I carefully snatch it back and hope that's enough to make myself clear. I don't really know where this is coming from. We were close back in Thirteen, but never officially together. We worked together at the mines, and when the war started we turned to each other for comfort, and it progressed quite fast to physical intimacy. When I told her I wasn't just interested in a casual relationship, she claimed she wasn't interested in a serious one and we broke it off amiably. That was almost six months ago.
"It's good to have you back, Bristel." I tell her. "You can get your sleeping bag over there and then you can talk to Cyrus to ask for a tent placement…"
"Do I need to get a tent placement?"
She gets unconfortably close and I have to take two steps back to keep her at a proper distance. We slept in each other's compartments for a while, but she can't possibly expect to come here after all this time and move into my tent can she?
Bristel doesn't take the hint, or chooses to ignore it as she places a hand on my chest. "I mean it when I said I missed you, Thom. Why do you think I came back? I know it's been a while but I was hoping we could…"
"I have a girlfriend, Bristel."
She looks taken aback by my statement. "You have a… wow… girlfriend?" She takes a step back and I'm relieved, but she's still unbelieving. "That was fast. You've been here for… what? Three months?"
Three months. It feels like it was a lifetime ago that I met Delly for the first time. It doesn't really matter how long it was. I don't owe Bristel anything. She's the one who refused to take it to the next level, and she was sleeping with someone else even before we left Thirteen. It would have bothered me more, if that wasn't the ultimate proof I needed to reinforce in my mind that we wanted different things in life.
"Do I know her?" She asks me.
I shake my head. " Probably not. She was a merchant before the war. "
Her eyes denote a hint of surprise, but she doesn't comment on it. "I hope you're happy, Thom." She tells me, and the worst part is I think she's being honest.
"Thank you. I am. I really am." I tell her with a small smile. "Now I really have work to do, so…"
"Right! Sleeping bag, tent assignment. I'm going. Go… do your thing."
I take a jog to the camp site to help with the first tents being pitched. I might not be an expert in handling feelings and expectations, but work? That I know how to do.
—-
Week 12 - Delly
"Hey, Leevy, do you know who that girl talking to Thom is?"
I rehearsed the question in my head about a dozen times, to make it as neutral as possible but it still comes out awkward and cringy.
"Oh…" She stammers for a bit, refusing to meet my eyes. "I think she might be a former classmate of his."
We're handing out sleeping bags to the newcomers, and I should have waited to ask her about it later, but I couldn't wait any longer. My gaze drifts to them again. They're just talking, nothing out of the ordinary, but two minutes ago she was practically glued to him.
I actually know exactly who this girl is.
Bristel Meyers. I don't know what she is to Thom, but I know for sure she was in his school year, because Bristel Meyers was the first girl Rye Mellark ever took to the slag heap. He gave us a full report of that adventure (or tried to, Peeta and I managed to get away, before he went into thorough detail).
She's hard to forget. She's taller than average for a girl, almost as tall as Thom, her hair long and silky going way past her mid back. Rye called her "exotic", to me she's nothing but gorgeous.
I'm being silly, I know it. But she's not acting like a simple acquaintance or just a friend. I try to focus on the task at hand and keep my mind away from those thoughts. I trust Thom, don't I?
Ok, I'm counting to ten, and then I'll look again.
Twenty,
I'm counting to twenty.
Then I'll look again.
When I do, they are both gone, and a wave of panic hits me. I suppose Leevy must sense something is wrong because she cautiously places a hand on my arm, but I wave her off.
The distribution goes slower than it was supposed to, as the newcomers want to chat with everyone, including Leevy and the others in my group. I don't know any of them, so I stay mostly silent. I have yet to see another merchant.
"Leevy, hi! It's good to see you!"
"Bristel! Hi!"
Leevy greets her with an exaggerated smile, a look of discomfort on her face. Now I'm really freaking out. Not because Leevy knows her, but because she felt the need to hide something.
"And who 's this?"
Our eyes meet for the first time and it's clear she knows exactly who I am. She gives me a quick head-to-toe look and once our eyes meet again her lips curve into a forced smile.
"Delly Cartwright. Pleased to meet you."
"Bristel Meyers."
She takes her sleeping bag from Leevy, but instead of leaving, she turns to me.
"Aren't you cute as a button? How old are you, honey?"
"Eighteen and a half."
Why?
Why would I add that "and a half", like I'm a toddler, who needs to keep track of half years? She doesn't even try to hide her snigger and Leevy gives me a sympathetic look.
"See you later Leevy. Delly."
It's only when the last people wander off, that I turn to Leevy again.
"It's her, isn't it? The girl Thom was close to…"
"Yeah, it 's her."
I was all but certain, but the confirmation still hits me like a ton of bricks.
"He's with you, Delly. Don't fret over this, please."
"Of course not, Leevy. I won't fret over the fact that I only know Thom for three months but this girl spent thirteen years with him at school, worked with him at the mines and escaped with him to Thirteen. Oh, and she's seen him naked too. Let's just add that for fun, shall we?"
"But it's you he's sharing a tent with." Cassie Steiner replies.
Ric and Zac give me condoling looks and excuse themselves to head over to camp, leaving us three girls behind.
"I wouldn't take into account those thirteen years at school. They weren't close. Thom mainly hung out with the rest of the community kids, and Gale Hawthorne. "
"You were classmates, right?" I ask her, and she nods. Cassie Steiner was one of the bunker survivors and suddenly I feel guilty for not getting to know her better these last few weeks. Other than the fact that she's Zac and Ric's cousin, and she's the same age as Thom, I know little about her.
"And work at the mines is not exactly conducive to flirting. Besides, I'm pretty sure she was dating someone else, at that point." Cassie adds. "Or hooking up, I don't think dating is really her thing."
"You're his girlfriend, Delly." Leevy goes on. "That's more than she ever was. Now come on, we should go, or we'll be late for lunch."
We take the rest of our supplies but before we start our way back, Cassie steps in front of me and with deft fingers opens a button on my henley shirt.
"There isn't a single Seam girl who hasn't envied your figure at one point or another, you know that, right Delly?"
"And I always envied how you were able to talk to everyone, as if you knew them for years. '' Leevy continues. " You're beautiful Delly, inside and out, and Thom is crazy about you. Do you know why he's been working so hard on those houses? Because Saul is next in line, right after Danny and Linea. He wants to build a house for you and your brother, Delly. Don't let Bristel ruin this for you."
We reach camp and the campsite has doubled its size. Only a couple of folks are still working on pitching in their tents, and everyone else is gathered around the firepit, eating lunch.
I look around for Saul, because most of the time I still need to remind him to stop playing around and to sit down for a meal. I end up spotting him, sitting next to Thom, who's clearly urging him to eat whatever is left on his plate. Everyone is a bit cramped together, but Thom still waves me over when he spots me.
"I still have to get my plate." I tell them when I reach their spot. I can't stop myself from looking around, and Bristel Meyers is just a few yards away from us.
" No need, I already got it for you." He tells me, and sure enough he has an extra plate already loaded with food. There's really no room for me to sit, but he scoots over a bit, and I sit on the ground in front of him, leaning my back against his chest, his arms around me.
Saul is trying to skip eating his greens as always, but once he sees me he takes a few gulps of water to wash them down. I know he's doing it as a way to butter me up. There's more kids in camp now, and they all want to bunk up together. Danny Thompson has been sharing a tent with his parents as well, and Cyrus managed to get a tent for the two of them along with another boy that arrived today.
"Mr and Mrs Thompson say they don't mind, as long as you agree Delly."
I take a look at Thom from the corner of my eye, and I notice him biting his lip, but he remains silent. It's not just about letting Saul go, which surprisingly doesn't bother me that much. But if he does, Thom and I will have the tent to ourselves, and that's a big step. It won't be just because there's not enough tents anymore.
"Where would your tent be placed?" I ask him
"There's room right next to the Thompsons, and that's just two tents away from you! " he answers eagerly.
"I'll think about it."
He smiles at this, because it's not a flat out no. When he gets up, I expect Thom to extricate himself from me and to take his place, but he ends up holding me tighter.
"Thank you." I tell him. "For the food. And looking after Saul until I got back."
"You do stuff for me all the time." He shrugs it off as he drops a kiss to my temple.
"The chair is comfy too." I add as I lean into his chest, and I can feel him smile against my ear.
"Yeah, that I did for myself. The view of your cleavage is prime from up here."
I silently thank Cassie for opening up that button.
"What do you think about Saul moving out?" I ask him, holding my breath, and I distinctly notice him drifting his eyes to my cleavage and then up again.
"It 's your call." He tells me unwaveringly.
"I'll tell him to pack his bags, once the district meeting is over, then."
I don't think I ever saw Thom smile so much.
—-
WEEK 13 - THOM
When lunch is over, we gather everyone around the firepit, much more cramped than we usually are. It takes a long time for everyone to settle down and be quiet, so I take the chance to watch Delly from afar. She's sitting next to Saul and Leevy, chatting lively as usual. Her laughter lights up her whole face and I'm only sorry I can't hear it right now. Somehow she senses me watching her and she faces me with a playful look. We hold each other's gaze for a few minutes, and I don't even bother to try to hide it. My mind wanders between the ten minutes we had to ourselves this morning and the possibilities of tonight, when we'll get the tent to ourselves for the first time. She bites her lower lip and I'm almost certain she's thinking the same thing.
Cyrus' clears his throat next to me and I'm startled, earning me a hearty laugh from him.
"Is that everyone?" he asks.
"I believe so."
One hundred and thirty one.
It feels surreal to have this many people facing us, but here we are.
Jack, Cyrus and I stand in front of everyone and Jack addresses the crowd.
"May I have your attention please? Hello everyone, my name is Jack Norbert. You may remember me as the former blacksmith of this district. I would like to welcome every single one of you. I believe I speak for everyone when I say we are glad to have you back."
There are loud cheers and raucous clapping. After all we've been through, it's a relief to have new residents to easen out the load for everyone.
"This is Thom Campbell, former miner, and Cyrus Johnson, former peacekeeper." Jack continues. " For the time being, we are the ones in charge of this district. We have a monthly district meeting to discuss matters that we feel should be decided by the entirety of the residents and not only by ourselves, but everything else goes through the district council.
I'm in charge of the cleaning crew. We're the cleaners and we handle rubble and building clearing as well as burials."
There's a distinct uneasiness in the crowd once he mentions dead bodies, but Jack is quick to dismiss it.
"Don't worry, there's not much of that left to do."
The crowd visibly relaxes and Jack goes on with his exposition.
"Cyrus Johnson is in charge of the campsite, we call them the campers. Everything regarding the camp, tents and temporary constructions such as the latrines and the portable showers, goes through him. He also handles security measures and guard duty.
Zac Steiner over there…"
Zac is in the far right of the crowd and he lifts his hand in the air so everyone can spot him.
"... is in charge of supplies. The suppliers handle the train's shipments, as well as food, clothes and tools. He reports to Thom."
Jack places a hand on my right shoulder as he goes on.
"Thom Campbell is in charge of the builders. He is also the one handling government contacts at this point, and placing orders for the train shipments.
A couple of weeks ago we also started with a vegetable garden, and we're hoping to have our first crops in a short time. Delly Cartwright…"
Delly raises her hand, but she's hard to miss, her golden hair a light beacon amidst everyone else.
"... is in charge of the gardening crew. She reports to Thom as well. Do you have any questions regarding our logistics?"
Several hands go up, and Jack takes the questions, one by one. After a few minutes it becomes clear most questions are to inquire about the construction work.
"We're only talking about logistics and coordination at this point. Don't worry, Thom will soon tell you all about the new houses."
Half the hands drop, but we get a few pertinent questions, about the showers timetable or supply orders.
"We have a weekly budget from the Capitol." I explain to them. "Every week I can only order what's within our budget. It's lenient enough that I can work in a few personal items every time. But the budget is for the entire community, so I need to be careful about my choices. If there is any particular item that you need, come see me, and we'll try to work it out, if not this week, then maybe one of the coming weeks. Any more questions?"
Leonard's hand goes up, and Jack nods for him to speak.
"So, we have a peacekeeper in charge?"
Cyrus's hands clench, but other than that he is inscrutable. We knew this might happen and we discussed it between the three of us. We figured the newcomers would probably question our authority, and we can only hope to earn their trust overtime. The bunker group was more than willing to mingle with us and to accept the way we had organized ourselves. I suppose it was too much to hope that this group would be as amenable as them.
"We voted for those three." Greasy Sae snaps from the back of the crowd. "You got a problem with that, the train station is that way."
Leonard leans back into his log and mumbles something to Bristel. Everyone else remains silent.
"If no one has any more questions regarding the district organization, let's talk about job placements, shall we?" I say, mostly to diffuse the tension and change subjects.
We hand out a few sheets of paper where everyone can choose what team they want to be a part of, and Cyrus explains about the different job openings.
"We need at least five more gardeners, and eight to ten suppliers, mainly to help with kitchen duty. I'm also taking two more campers into my team, preferably men, to handle wood gathering and chopping. Everyone else will have to be split between the cleaners and the builders. " Cyrus explains as the sheets and pens circulate among the crowd. "Everyone needs to help out and should be incorporated into a team."
Once Cyrus collects the sheets, the murmuring starts again. I suppose everyone is curious to know about how the construction is going, so I take the lead.
"We started the construction work about a month ago and we already have two houses standing. " I tell them, and most people look pleasantly surprised. "One of the houses belongs to Greasy Sae, and the other one to Miss Smoak. They are modular homes and therefore they are quite fast to build. Now that there's more of us, we could probably have about 4 or 5 new houses standing every month. We have a few layouts that the Capitol sent us, that we can choose from."
"How are you choosing who gets the first houses?" someone asks.
"We decided to prioritize children and families."
Everyone nods in agreement. This was the way it was done even before the war. Miners with children or married miners had Seam houses assigned to them first. Single miners, like myself, usually stayed in a common house, unless they had other family to live with. Only when there were empty houses to spare would they be issued to single miners.
"Families with kids first." I go on. "Then married couples. Then single folks. We're using twelve years as the age cutoff for the kids, and we've sorted them into a sequence. Sae's granddaughter was first. Maddy and Reed Murray were adopted by Miss Smoak and they were next. The two houses that we're currently building will go for the Thompsons and the McDonalds, they both have twelve year olds."
"Yeah, but there are families with younger children now!" A woman carrying a toddler speaks, and mumbling starts to arise again.
"Everyone settle down!" Jack says, raising his voice. "I know there are some families among the newcomers that have younger children, but our group has been living in tents for over three months, and the next houses won't be ready in at least another month. We started from scratch, we have endured hard work, rain storms, collapsing tents, and food shortage. Some of you will probably have to live in a tent for a few weeks, or a month at most, before we start building your house. Thom, Cyrus and I discussed it, and we decided to stick to our first list, until we have the children from the first group settled in. The Thompsons and the Johnsons will take the next two houses and the fifth one will go to Thom, Delly and Saul Cartwright. After that, we'll make a new list, starting with the children that arrived today."
When Jack mentions our names, my eyes instantly find Delly's in the middle of the crowd. We never discussed what we would do once the houses were built. We're sharing a tent now, but that was actually circumstantial. It was just today that we reached the agreement that Saul would move into his own tent. When I discussed the houses with Cyrus and Jack I always mentioned Saul and Delly's house. I search Delly's eyes for signs of discomfort at Jack's assumption that I would be moving in with them permanently, but I find none, only a bashful smile. I would have a hard time disconnecting my gaze from her if not from the turmoil that arises among the crowd.
"So let me get this straight…" Lenerd says, standing up, "...when you say married residents take precedence over single folks, what exactly are we talking about? Legal marriages? Are toastings ok too? Because, I wasn't aware that you were married to Delly Cartwight, Thom."
I suck in a breath and my gut sinks in. I always thought of Lenerd as a friend but then again our work together at the mines seems to belong to a different life.
"Maybe district council members get houses first too." Someone else ads, and the tone of disdain is painfully noticeable.
"Is that so?" Lenerd asks, turning to me again. "Does the peacekeeper get a house before us too, or does he have to find a chick with a kid first?"
"Manners, young man!" Mrs Kearney nearly shouts.
Jack immediately stretches his arms and lays his hands against my chest and Cyrus's before one of us takes a punch at someone. Turns out neither Cyrus nor I make a move. Probably the only reason why I don't is for the kids' presence. I don't know what's more offensive to me, the implication that I might be using my position at the council for my advantage or that I would be with Delly just to get a house first.
The voices grow louder as several residents jump in to defend both me and Cyrus. Even Saul, who always had a peaceful demeanor is enraged and Delly has to force him to sit down. I feel reassured when I notice that even among the newcomers a large portion of them seem to take our side, but I still feel the pang of disappointment.
"Maybe we weren't clear at the beginning of this meeting." I raise my voice above everyone else and one hundred and thirty one pairs of eyes stare back at me. "We are glad to welcome everyone back. The three of us hope to have a transparent leadership and that is exactly why we are having this meeting. But some things aren't up for discussion, namely things that were decided previously to your arrival. The district council is composed of Jack, Cyrus and I. Our authority is recognized by the state of New Panem, and we will hold it until next year, when new elections will be held. Either you accept it, or like Sae said, the train station is that way."
The silence is even more deafening than the previous shouting. I catch a glimpse of Delly, as she slowly sits down next to Saul, but her eyes remain hard and heated.
"We also don't approve of any sort of prejudice. We've had enough of that. Everyone is treated with the same respect, whether they're Seam, Merchant, Capitol born or any other District. The rules for house assignment are clear and were previously voted. The next two houses WILL go to the Thompsons and to the McDonalds. The fifth house belongs to Delly and Saul Cartwright. After that, new coming families with kids will come first, starting with the youngest up to twelve year olds. Up next married folks. We consider legal marriages as well as toastings, as long as the toasting has a witness. Single folks will come last, district council members included. Are we clear?"
No one dares to utter a single word after my outburst and Jack dismisses the meeting and sends everyone to their working posts. Maybe we can still get a few hours of work done, today.
I'm frustrated with the meeting's outcome. Today was supposed to be an exciting day. The only silver lining that keeps my head clear is that right after lunch we told Saul he could move out of our tent. If I could only blink my eyes and speed forward to eight pm, and retreat with Delly to our tent, away from everyone else I would breathe out with relief. But there's still work to be done.
I take the sheets from Cyrus's hand to check who my new workers are. I don't get to focus on it, though.
Bristel Meyers signed up for Delly's team.
…
"So let me get this straight, you two never agreed to move into a house together?"
Leevy and I talk in whispers as we take the gardening tools from our supplies shelter and make our way to our garden.
"No, we never discussed it."
"But you want him to move in with you."
"Yes, Leevy, of course I want him to move in. But you heard him, the house is for me and Saul. And he was clear that singles would move out of the tents last. He 's single. You do the math."
"Well, he didn't have much choice but to say that, did he? "
I ponder Leevy's words as we reach the garden field. I guess he was really caught between a rock and a hard place. If he moves in with us when we get our house, people will accuse him of exploiting his leadership position to push for the house to come to us, and not abiding by the rules. If he doesn't move in with us, we take a step down on our relationship and my reputation will be more ruined than it already is.
I'm not really mad at him. Just disappointed. I wanted him to stand his ground, and demand to move in with me whether we were married or not, everyone else's opinion be damned.
The gardeners gather around to collect the supplies and the air gets completely sucked out of me. I have five new workers. Bristel Meyers is one of them.
I make introductions and a small briefing of our work so far, while deliberately refusing to look her way.
Most of them are eager to get their hands dirty, so we start getting the land ready to plant a few hundred onions we got today on the train. Planting and gardening were definitely not a typical occupation for District Twelve, whether you were Seam or Merchant. I was happy to realize I actually enjoy it more than I anticipated. Thom loves to hear me talk about it, and most of the time he claims he's quitting his job to join my crew instead.
Once we have the ground broken up, we plant ten rows of onions.
"Michael, Luísa, please water the onions. Everyone else, we need to weed the carrot and pea beds."
That was a stupid call on my part, because that's how I find myself kneeling right beside Bristel.
"So, you and Thom. I wasn't aware it was that serious."
I keep my eyes focused on my task, as I dig my fingers in the ground. We have these stubborn weeds that grow out of some small inedible turnips, and we soon realized that if we don't root out the turnips and burn them, they keep coming back again.
"It's serious." I tell her, refusing to meet her stare.
"I heard you share a tent and everything. And your little brother sleeps with you too? That's so adorable."
I could just slap her. With my hand completely soiled and leaving dirt imprints on that smug face of hers.
"Thom doesn't mind? You two sharing a tent with your little brother, I mean?"
I could really just slap her but I choose to stand up and get a watering can. They're all empty. I ask Michael and Nathan to get more buckets of water from the fountain so we can refill them. The five minutes of reprieve are sufficient to make me brave enough to kneel down the carrots bed again. Leevy probably sensed something was off, because when I get there she has joined us.
I stay silent as I work and Leevy and Bristel make a little bit of small talk. She tells her about district Seven and what kind of work they did there. She talks about their customs and their culture, and that's when she feels the need to comment on the ruggedness of District seven men. I try to tune out the conversation, which I mainly succeed until she addresses me.
"I can give you some advice, Delly."
"I'm not sure I follow."
"About Thom. I mean, you're so… delicate. And Thom, … he may be all sweet and gentle during the day, but in the dark, well… he likes it kind of rough, if you know what I mean." She says in a staged whisper.
"Bristel!" Leevy says, in schock.
"I suppose you don't know what he likes, do you, Delly?" She goes on. I should have slapped her before. I should have slapped her when I had the nerve to do it, because right now tears are running down my face, and once more this girl makes me feel like a small child. "With your brother there and all… I mean… I just have to take one good look at you to know you havent been fucked."
"Bristel, that's enough!" Leevy snaps, and I feel like she might slap her, herself.
I get up and I clean my hands in a rag. I know I shouldn't leave without getting all the tools clean and put away but I don't really care at this point. I pass the construction site on my way to the camp and I hear Thom call for me, but the only answer he gets is me taking off on a run.
I was never prone to hiding. But right now, it seems like my only choice. Our tent is already stripped of Saul's things, and for the first time I regret letting him move out. I change into clean clothes, neglecting a shower, and I take my sleeping bag to hide beneath it as I give in to something I haven't done in a long time. I weep.
—-
"I brought you food. In case you're hungry."
I suspected it must be around dinner time when I started to hear all the voices around me, but I made no move to leave my cocoon. I'm not really hungry, anyway. I don't answer him, but I still move enough so I can look at him. He hasn't showered yet, his hair unruly and floppy after a day's work. He sits down, cross legged, close enough that we could touch. We don't.
"We're having a district meeting in a few minutes. We have the new list for the house's assignments. You and Saul still get house number five."
Thom's eyeing me with caution as if he's afraid I might break at any point. Pointless, obviously, because I think I broke long before he entered the tent.
"I'm gonna…" He breathes out, running a hand through his hair, a look of helplessness on his face. I look away, and bury myself again in my sleeping bag. After a few minutes of silence he gets on his knees and opens the tent, presumably to head for the district meeting.
"I'm sorry, Delly." He finally says before heading out.
"Why?" I ask him and he freezes for a few seconds. He ends up coming back inside, closing the tent after him.
"Why are you sorry, Thom?" I sit up, pushing the sleeping bag aside with force. "Are you sorry because you have no qualms in living with me in a tent but have no intention of actually moving in with me once we have a house? Or are you sorry because your ex felt compelled to share your sexual preferences with me? Please, Thom, enlighten me."
"Delly…"
"Or wait… is it Saul? Is that what you're sorry about? Are you sorry because when you agreed to have him living with us in the same tent you didn't anticipate how much of a hindrance that would be? Or… or… or are you sorry…" My voice grows louder and tears are running down my face, and even though I tried to contain the first ones, I don't really care at this point. "...are you sorry that you tied yourself to me, now that she's back and she wants you again?"
He grabs my neck and presses his lips against mine, and I am weak enough to give in for a few seconds.
"I love you, Delly. I love…"
"DON'T! DON'T SAY THAT TO ME, not today! You had six weeks to tell me that, and you say it to me now?" I say, pulling away from him. The look of hurt on his face is enough to make me look away, and I focus on the small stack of books we have to our right. My garden book. The catalog that he uses to order stuff from the train. A romance novel that we borrowed from Peeta two weeks ago, and take turns reading it, but really haven't gone beyond the first chapter.
He takes my hand and I let him. It's Thom's favorite way to show affection in public, because it's discreet enough to go unnoticed. It has become second nature for us to hold each other's hand, but right now it feels foreign to me, as if I was holding it for the first time.
"You know, Delly, you have to know, you're the only one I want. I don't care that she came back. I don't want anyone else. It's you, it was always you, from the moment I met you. What do you want me to say? That I'm sorry that I ever got involved with her? I am, Delly, I deeply, deeply regret it. It was nothing but a waste of my time, and a source of distress to you. If I could, I would erase it all, BUT I CAN'T."
"Why didn't you tell everyone that you would move in with us to our house?" I ask him. I know I'm being petty and I can't really hold this against him, but I'm so angry I feel like every insecurity of mine is coming to the surface and waiting to blurt out of my mouth.
"We never discussed it before, and I was caught off guard…"
"Is your name on that list? The one they're reading to the district, right now? Tell me, where exactly is your name placed? Is it next to mine and Saul?"
"It 's not." He says, shaking his head and lowering his gaze, but I still notice the tears starting to fill his eyes. " We will build three bedroom houses to settle in the singles. Jack and Cyrus will take the last one, but.. I'm not… My name isn't on any house. I don't …"
I let out a strangled sob, and he pulls me towards him, encircling his arms around me. He rocks me back and forth, burying his nose in my hair as my tears dampen his shirt.
"I can't move in with you. I'll be accused of jumping in line. I don't know what you want me to do, Delly. If I could… I… The only reason why I haven't asked you to toast with me yet is because I didn't want to scare you by moving too fast, but if you want that, we can toast, and no one will have anything to hold against us…"
"So that's your answer?" I pull away again and he lowers his arms, letting me go without a fight.. "We'll toast? And give everyone else more reason to believe that you're only with me because of a DAMN HOUSE? Bristel will have a field day…"
"Forget Bristel…"
"I can't! All I can think about when I look at her is how she had a piece of you that I don't and I…"
"That is not true! It's the other way around, Delly, don't you see? You're the one that has a piece of me that she never did, and she never will. You have my heart, Delly, I'll do whatever you want me to do!"
"THEN KICK HER OUT! I want her out of the district. I want her out, Thom, I want her out!"
"Don't ask me that… I can't do that, Delly, you know I can't… I can't just kick her out because she was a bitch to you…"
"Guys…"
Leevy's voice outside the tent is tentative, and I'm suddenly aware that we're inside a flimsy tent, in the middle of the campsite.
"... try to keep it down, everyone can hear you when you raise your voices…"
I take my boots from the tent's vestibule and without a word I put them on as fast as I can.
"Delly, where are you going?" he asks me with a defeated voice.
"AWAY! I'm going away, because I am sick of this tent, I am sick of this campsite, I CAN'T EVEN ARGUE YOU WITH YOU IN PEACE!"
As soon as I'm out of the tent I take off in a run, before he spots where I'm going.
—-
(Delly)
"I really am sorry for keeping you guys up, I know it's late."
Peeta places a cup of tea in front of me, as Katniss revives the fire in the living room. It's mid spring, but we still get a few chilly nights, and tonight's been a particular cold one.
"It's fine, Delly." Peeta says with a shrug. "It's not like we get that much sleep at night."
I can't help but widen my eyes, and he gets a light blush in his cheeks.
"That is not what I meant, and you know it."
"I know."
We're sitting by his kitchen table and he starts working on tomorrow's bread. As I watch his practiced motions, I relive my argument with Thom, in my head. I keep coming back to his final plea. What do you want me to do?
I realize I don't really know.
"I overreacted, didn't I?"
Katniss joins us with a cup of her own, and she brings it to Peeta's lips for a sip.
"I wouldn't call it overreacting. People act out of character when they get hurt. I guess that's why…" She stops mid sentence and eyes me with caution.
"What?" I ask.
"Bristel felt rejected. That explains the bitchy behavior. I don't think she's usually like that."
I really don't want to talk about Bristel anymore, I've had enough of her for the day. But as I ponder Katniss' words, I realize she is right. The only reason for her to act the way she did was if she was acting out of spite. Thom must have rejected her, somehow, throughout the day.
"You've met her before?" Peeta asks Katniss.
"Yeah, so did you, remember? When Gale got whipped, she's the one that told us what happened."
He furrows his brows trying to remember it, and his face visibly relaxes after a few seconds.
"Yeah, I think I do remember her. Tall girl, really long shiny hair, right? Quite ugly, though."
Katniss bursts out laughing, to the point she spills a little bit of her tea on the kitchen table. Even I manage a smirk, but it subsides quickly. I still don't have a clue of what I should do. Or better yet, what Thom should do.
"I agree with Thom." Peeta says, dropping the ball of dough on the table and giving it a final punch. "The best answer is for you to toast."
"We've only been dating for six weeks." I say with a shake of my head.
"So? My parents got married after a month of courtship, and they weren't even coming out of a war. It's not that big of a deal."
"Your mother was pregnant, Peeta. And no offense, but are you really going to use them as a role model for a healthy relationship?"
He tilts his head with a grimace. "Yeah, you have a point."
I know fast courtships weren't really that uncommon, especially among Seam folks. It mostly came down to how old they were when the relationship started. If a couple got together when they were sixteen, they would toast a couple of weeks after they both aged out of the reaping. If they got together a few months before the final reaping, they would still toast once the games were done. Merchants weren't that different, but usually a match would be arranged by the families somewhere between the age of seventeen and eighteen.
"My parents got married without ever dating at all, and they turned out fine."
Peeta and I both turn to Katniss with shock.
"When you say no dating, you mean public dating right?" I ask her. I spent a long deal of time thinking about Katniss' parents these past few months, wondering what I would have done if the old status quo was still in place. I know I would have fallen in love with Thom, even if I met him while he was still a community boy, or a simple miner.
"No, I mean no dating at all. They just flirted during their trades, and tried to lengthen their time together. When my dad finally worked up the courage to tell her how he felt, my mom took a few weeks to make up her mind. But once she did, she was out of the apothecary, and she married him two days later."
"Your mother was very brave, Katniss." I tell her.
I've often wondered what would have been my fate. I like to think my parents would have liked Thom, maybe even accepting our relationship. But accepting him and keeping me on the payroll would be two very different things. I know, I would eventually have to make a choice, much like Mrs Everdeen had to.
"I would have done it in a heartbeat." Peeta blurts out like it's the most casual thing to say.
Katniss gives him a side glance, while carefully taking a sip of her tea, but there's amusement in her eyes. It's nice to see them fall into such a comfortable interplay. I knew they would eventually, but it still comes as a relief.
"Hypothetically speaking, of course." He continues, giving her a wink. "Let's imagine I fell in love with a Seam girl."
"You'd have to join the mines." I tell him, and he nods in agreement. "There is no way your mother would have allowed a Seam girl at the bakery."
"You'd be assigned to a bunk bed in one of the common houses." Katniss explains. "Only married miners got a house."
"I guess I would have to marry my Seam girl then." he concludes, with a shrug of his shoulders.
"If she agreed to marry you." Katniss replies but there's a hint of delight in her voice.
"You don't think she would have? Well, in that case I'm staying at the bakery and marrying the grocer's daughter instead. "
Katniss smacks his arm and gives him a scowl that would make anyone shrink but Peeta just laughs it off.
"I would have married him…" I finally say, and they both turn to me.
"... If he was still a miner, and I was still a merchant, and that was the only way for us to be together. I…I love him."
I would definitely do it. Even if it meant breaking contact with my parents, though I still reason that they probably wouldn't. How could I possibly go back to date and marry someone else after I've met him?
"He lived at the common houses, Delly. That would ACTUALLY be the only way for you to be together and get a house." Katniss says. "Getting married to get house ownership was quite a regular occurrence, you know?."
"Let me get this straight," Peeta says, while washing his hands and picking up a kitchen towel to dry them. "You would have left town and married him to get a Seam house... but you won't marry him now, for a brand new one?"
"It 's different."
I don't expect Peeta to understand. He was thrown into a death arena with Katniss as soon as he met her, and every interaction he had with her was broadcasted to the entire nation. No one ever questioned his motives or the truthfulness of his feelings for her, because they were blatantly displayed. Leaving town to join Thom on the Seam would have been an open act of love. Getting married while the district is being rebuilt and houses are being assigned looks like a business transaction.
Peeta waves his arms in the air and huffs in frustration.
"Seriously? I pity Thom, I really do. He's in a very difficult position, regardless of what he chooses to do about the house, and that's not even taking into account your unpredictable reasoning, Delly!"
"I know, Peeta. I know!"
He walks to the kitchen window and pulls the curtain aside for a quick glance.
"Should I tell him to come inside, then? Because he's been freezing his ass off on the porch for the past two hours."
"He's here? When did he get here? Why didn't you say anything?"
I get up in a rush and look out the kitchen window. Sure enough, Thom's sitting on the front steps. I can't see his face, but his whole posture is one of defeat and helplessness, and I am hit by a pang of compassion for him.
"About twenty minutes after you arrived. I didn't say anything because you looked like you were about to rip someone's head off, and I kinda like him, Delly."
I feel a wave of embarrassment wash over me. I can't believe I yelled at him like that. It's quite a conundrum, but it's not his fault we're in it. I get up to grab my jacket, but Katniss stops me before I open the door.
"Here." She tells me as she hands me a small key. "The key to my house. You can have your privacy."
"Thank you, Katniss."