Just as a warning, there is quite a lot of swearing in this chapter, and this is going to be the slash-y bit (just a tip: DON'T read this while your parents/younger siblings/anyone are in the room). To quote our beloved Weasley King: 'Bloody hell.' Just imagine me wincing and looking over my shoulder every few seconds (you can tell I've never written slash before) and, well, you get the picture. It's probably going to be awful.

Anyway, I digress. Let us march boldly onwards, and if it gets too awful and cringe-y just skip over it. Actually, most of it's pretty laughable. You can entertain yourself with this chapter. It's terrible, but it's funny. Unintentionally, but still.

Oh, and I went a bit italic-happy in this chapter. Sorry…

DISCLAIMER: I own no part of the Harry Potter books, films, etc. Everything belongs to JKR/Warner Bros.

All bits from the book(s) are in bold.

The Meaning Of Family

Chapter Seven

'Look, James,' he said consolingly, 'it was a mistake anyone could have made. Honestly, it really was. I'm sure Sirius or Peter or I would have done exactly the same. Honestly.'

'Yeah, I definitely would have, um, jumped on Evans under the mistletoe in the common room and stuck my tongue down her protesting throat before realising that what I was doing was completely socially unacceptable. Definitely,' Peter nodded.

'But now she'll never speak to me again!' wailed a drunken and despairing James, clutching his Firewhiskey to his chest and sobbing dramatically into his pillow.

'I'm, er, sure she will…' Remus said doubtfully, trying to scoop the bottle up as Firewhiskey spilled all over James's pillow; James snatched the bottle away and continued mourning his lost love.

'Never mind, there's always New Year, if you can get her drunk enough,' Sirius said brightly.

'You're so incessantly cheerful all the time, Padfoot!' Remus sighed, shaking his head.

'I am not in-cesspit-ly cheerful!' Sirius cried in outrage. 'How dare you, Moony!'

Remus burst out laughing. 'Incessantly!' he cried. 'Don't you know what incessantly means?'

'No I don't,' Sirius said stubbornly, putting on his famous pout.

'Sirius! I am shocked! You and Prongs here are about seven times as clever as I am –'

'Exactly!' cried Sirius triumphantly. 'So I don't see why you should be the one swanning around confusing everyone with your big words!'

Remus grinned. 'You're a hopeless case, Padfoot,' he laughed.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. 'Not as hopeless as you, Moony.'

'Moony…'

Remus rolled over, now used to this method of waking up (albeit in the middle of the night), but for once Sirius wasn't hanging over him looking mournful – he was, in fact, still fast asleep.

'Moony…'

Remus's stomach lurched slightly as Sirius murmured his nickname once more, and rolled over, slipping his hand under the pillow, a slightly smile on his face.

'Mmmm… Remus…'

Remus began to comprehend exactly what was going on.

Oh fuck. He's dreaming about me.

He didn't want to wake Sirius up, not when he was clearly having a nice dream (although Remus wasn't sure how he felt about that), but it was hard to go back to sleep with Sirius muttering his name every few seconds. He was rather curious about it anyway.

Sirius's murmurs suddenly grew louder and more reckless.

'Mmm… Oh god. Moony! Moony!'

Fucking hell.

Sirius wasn't merely having a simple, ordinary dream about him. Oh no.

Sirius was having a fucking wet dream about him. About him.

Wait. About him?

'Um, Sirius…' Remus started, completely gob-smacked. He wasn't sure what to say, only that he urgently needed to wake Sirius up.

'Mmm, fuck, Moony!' Sirius cried, curling into a ball and then straightening out again, then arching his back.

Remus sat up.

As quietly as he could, he slipped out of bed, pulled on a pair of jeans and padded into the spare room to check on Harry, who had moved into the tiny room in order to learn how to 'comfort himself' (according to one of Sirius's many baby care books). He'd make up some excuse later.

'For god's sake, Remus, why are you so fucking cold all the time?'

Exactly six days had passed since the wet-dream-incident, and during those six days Remus had been increasingly distant. He had spent every evening out with that girl from the hospital, whom he had asked out after he and Sirius had taken Harry to the hospital for some vaccination jab or other (and whom Sirius had had to witness give Remus a humdinger of a snog outside the front door the previous night). Sirius had been left entirely alone to take care of Harry, and was rather annoyed with his friend, not least for shirking the responsibilities he had promised to take on board.

Sirius was also dismayed at the fact that Remus didn't seem to care that he was leaving tomorrow – neither of them had said anything about it since Dumbledore's visit, and although Remus had claimed that he would miss Sirius, his actions did not back up this claim.

To be frank, it really hurt.

Sirius couldn't understand what he'd done. He didn't know why Remus was being so… so cool, so remote, so aloof… He'd been trying to figure it out for nearly a week, but couldn't, and had finally cracked, demanding to know what was going on.

'What?' Remus lifted his head from his copy of the Evening Prophet – the front page article depressingly titled: MINISTRY CONTINUES MASS SEARCH FOR BLACK – taken by surprise at Sirius's sudden, angry outburst.

'You're so bloody distant, you won't stay in the same room as me, you won't hold a conversation, you only give me one-word answers – see, you won't even look at me!' he cried furiously as Remus's gaze dropped to the floor, his cheeks slightly flushed in shame.

'I don't know what you're talking about,' he muttered, giving the kitchen floor an uncomfortable shrug.

Sirius rolled his eyes. 'Come on, Moony, get your brain in gear!' he cried. 'You're so unfriendly, and you won't help me with Harry –'

'You'll be on your own anyway tomorrow, you might as well get used to it.'

'You're out all night, every night with that stupid blonde from the hospital –'

'So what if I'm out with Wendy?'

'Oh, it has a name, does it?' Sirius said sourly. Remus glared at him.

'What's it to you if I'm going out with her?'

'You're going out with Wendy, are you? Well – well I'm going out with… with that woman in the shop!' Sirius cried, suddenly quite demented.

'Sirius, she's sixty five,' Remus sighed. Why was he being like this?

'Well I like my women mature,' Sirius huffed. 'Are you being ageist, Moony?'

'She's married,' Remus added, having a feeling that this argument was rather pointless, but that neither of them was going to give up anyway.

Sirius's eyebrows knotted. 'How d'you know that?' he said, momentarily taken by surprise.

'It was her husband's birthday yesterday,' Remus sighed, wondering how they'd even got on to the lady-in-the-shop's husband. 'She told me.'

'We're having an affair, only she told me to keep it a secret!'

'And she said she was devoted to him and couldn't imagine looking at any other man,' Remus muttered, rolling his eyes. 'What's got into you?'

'Oh,' said Sirius, clearly wrong-footed. 'Erm. Well, then. That's probably why she ended it yesterday.'

Remus groaned. 'Padfoot, I'm serious! What's going on?'

'Alright!' Sirius yelled. 'Alright, I'm jealous! I'm jealous, okay? I just can't fucking stand seeing you with her! Every time she… she looks at you or smiles at you or whispers some god-awful joke she thinks is funny in your ear… every time I see you with her it fucking kills me!'

'What? Sirius, I… What's going on?'

Sirius looked away. 'I – I don't know.' What was happening? Why was he having these feelings? Was it just his possessive jealousy taking over, as Remus had suggested? Or was it something else? It couldn't be… Could it? Could it be possible that he actually felt something more than just friendship towards Remus? Could it really be happening? Could he, Sirius Black, the legendary Horniest Teenager at Hogwarts, he, Sirius Black the 'Gryffin-whore'… actually be falling for his best friend?

'Is this about you being possessive?'

Sirius froze. Did Remus know? But he couldn't possibly. He hadn't told him – yet.

'What?' he said, his mouth dry.

'Your stupid, jealous possessiveness over everyone that you seem to wear like a badge all the time!' Remus exploded, suddenly angry.

'What are you talking about? I'm not possessive!' Sirius argued.

'Oh please! Why are you so goddamn bloody-minded all the time, huh? Why can't you just accept, for once, that you might actually have some flaws like everybody else? I have flaws and I know that and I accept it, but you just seem to –'

Sirius kissed him.

He noticed that the kiss was rather nice – it was sort of soft, then harder, then softer again – before remembering that Sirius was kissing him, and that this was not the way things were supposed to pan out, however nice it might be. He stumbled backwards, arms flailing, and let out a muffled yell, partly because of the realisation that his best friend's mouth was inexplicably attached to his own, and partly because Sirius had sort of leaped on him, and was now standing on his right foot, and it hurt quite a bit.

He wrenched his head backwards and stared at Sirius in surprise tinged slightly with horror. Sirius stared straight back into his eyes, a little flushed and breathless, his chest (Remus suddenly noticed) very visible in his rather tight-fitting white shirt. It suited him rather well, actually.

Remus gaped at him in shock; Sirius blushed more deeply and suddenly couldn't quite meet his gaze.

Remus was first to break the silence.

'What the hell was that?' he demanded.

'Sorry, Moony,' Sirius mumbled. There was no childish whine in his voice now. He sounded somewhat abashed (as he should do, Remus thought angrily, still rather overwhelmed with shock at the recent events) and ever so slightly… upset?

'I – I just thought that… Never mind,' Sirius sighed, shaking his head. He turned away. How could he have been so stupid as to even allow himself to think that Remus actually felt that way about him? He'd never mentioned it, had he?

'But Sirius,' Remus frowned, unable to understand why what had just happened had happened, 'you're not gay.'

Sirius looked up, hurt reflected in his dark eyes.

'Is that what you think?'

Remus shrugged. 'Well… yeah.'

'What makes you think that?'

'What?'

'What makes you think I'm not gay?' Sirius repeated. Just for a moment, just for one second, he'd almost thought Remus had felt the same. He was sure he'd seen something in the way Remus looked at him, the way he spoke to him, those shy little smiles of his… He knew now he'd been stupid to think such things… the idea was laughable. Perhaps he had simply been so desperate for Remus to feel that way that he'd imagined it. He'd just thought that…

'Well.' Remus interrupted his thoughts with a nervous cough and an unsure start. 'What about all your girlfriends?'

'What?' said Sirius distractedly.

'You know,' Remus elaborated, 'all the girls you went out with at Hogwarts. Unless they were all guys drinking Polyjuice Potions, I'd say that makes you not gay.'

'And what about Dirk Cresswell in fourth year?' Sirius countered. Remus raised an eyebrow; he looked half-impressed.

'So you really did snog him in a broom cupboard, then?'

'Yes,' Sirius muttered, turning a little pink. 'I'd say that makes me at least bisexual.'

'I'd say that's experimenting, actually,' Remus said coolly. 'Lots of people experiment with their sexuality as adolescents.'

'What?' Sirius howled in outrage. Why was Remus trying to make him deny his feelings? Of course it would be excruciatingly awkward from now on, and Sirius knew it was all his fault, but they'd just have to get round that. He couldn't pretend he didn't have feelings for Remus – did Remus even know how hard that had been up to now?

'Fine,' he continued, putting a lid on his internally bubbling anger – though he wasn't sure how secure it was. 'Fine, maybe I was experimenting with Dirk Creswell. But what about you?'

Remus frowned. 'What about me?' he muttered.

Sirius looked straight at him, and he spoke clearly even though a pink tinge crept up his neck and into his cheeks.

'What about the way I kissed you just then? What about the way I want to hold your hand when we're walking alongside each other? What about the way you make me laugh, or the butterflies I get whenever you give me one of those little smiles? What about the way I wish you'd hold me close the way you hold Harry, like he's the most precious thing in the world? What about the way I wish you'd kiss me like you kiss her? Do you call that experimenting, Remus? 'Cause I bloody well don't.'

There was another long silence. Again, Remus broke it.

'I don't understand,' he said, shaking his head. 'Sirius… What's going on?'

Sirius closed his eyes again. He took a deep breath. How was he going to tell Remus? Should he just come out with it? He supposed he should – it was inevitably going to come out sooner or later, and it pretty much had already.

Just say it, Sirius. Just tell him.

'I…' Fuck. 'I think I love you, Moony,' he said softly.

Remus raised his eyebrows. 'Right. Well, I kind of hoped you did.'

Sirius's hopes leaped at Remus's words. He hardly dared believe what he'd just heard.

'Seriously?' he said hoarsely. Remus looked even more confused.

'Well, yeah,' he replied, eyebrows knotted. 'I mean, after nearly eleven years of friendship, you kind of grow to love someone, don't you…?' He still couldn't understand why Sirius had kissed him, but then he of all people ought to know that Sirius sometimes did weird, inexplicable things, the reason for which tended to come to light later. There was a possibility that this could simply be one of those things, right? He couldn't let himself get his hopes up, not yet at least.

Sirius had the sensation that the bottom had just dropped out from his stomach. He squeezed his eyes tight shut. Why did it have to be so complicated? Why couldn't it be simple? Why couldn't life be simple for once?

'No… You don't get it, Remus. I think I'm in love with you. I am in love with you.'

A soft silence greeted this news as Remus struggled for something to say. He wasn't the most talented conversationalist in the world at the best of times, and when your best friend tells you they're in love with you and it isn't April Fool's Day, it really can be rather hard to find a reply.

He settled for: 'Don't be stupid.' As one might imagine, this wasn't greeted with enthusiasm. It wasn't really the kindest reply in the world, but it was the only one Remus could come up with. His brain was in a fog.

Sirius glared at him. 'I'm not the one being stupid.'

'Oh really? When have I ever confessed any romantic feelings for you, Sirius?' Remus argued.

Sirius bit back a retort. Of course Remus hadn't meant… obviously he'd just been trying to comfort Sirius because they'd both been so sad about Sirius having to leave. Obviously. Anyway, of course he'd just meant in a brotherly kind of way, or a best friend kind of way, like the love Sirius himself felt for James and Lily. Or a family kind of way, like he felt for Harry. That was clearly all he'd meant. He took a deep breath. Wow. Sirius, being Sirius and rather handsome even if he said it himself, wasn't used to rejection. He hadn't expected it to hurt this much.

'I just meant… It's okay, I get it. You don't feel the same. I get it,' he said softly. 'It's fine.'

He turned away, and made for the stairs, half-hoping Remus would call him back and confess his own feelings.

But Remus didn't say a word. He stood, frozen, still digesting Sirius's words – almost exactly the same words that he himself had been wishing, for ten years, he'd had the courage to say.

At least he'd told the truth. That was his one (miniscule, he thought bitterly) comfort, his last saving grace, if you like. Maybe it was foolish to tell someone how you felt, to throw yourself into the path of danger with those three tiny words that could change everything. Maybe he had been an idiot to go around wearing his heart on his sleeve. But so what? At least now Remus knew how he felt. At least he wasn't living a lie anymore. At least now he could go back to feeling sad and dejected in peace, with the knowledge that he really did have reason to. At least he'd told the truth.

So what if Remus didn't feel the same way? He could live with that, so Remus could bloody well shove it where the sun didn't shine if he didn't like it. As long as he didn't start bringing her round, Sirius could live with the fact that she was, and possibly always would be, a part of Remus's life. Although, he supposed, it didn't really matter now that he wouldn't be there anymore. At least, it shouldn't matter.

'Sirius?'

He didn't turn round. 'I get it,' he said softly to Remus's pillow. 'It's okay. You're with Wendy, I understand. I get it.' He was starting to repeat himself rather a lot these days. Perhaps he was going senile. This thought didn't concern him much – on the contrary, escaping into madness would be something of a relief at this moment in time.

'Sirius, I –'

'I get it, Remus. You don't feel the same. I get it, and I'm fine with it. At least, I will be. But if you could just leave me alone, that'd be great.'

'If you could just stop interrupting, that'd be great.' Remus retorted, exasperated. He took a deep breath and added, 'I never said I didn't feel the same.'

Sirius sat up rather suddenly. Remus remained on the edge of the bed, gripping it with his fingers, though he had a strong urge to get in it and hide his face under the covers. He could feel his cheeks heating up, and was sure they were already brighter than a Patronus and redder than the Gryffindor banner Sirius had pinned to the wall of his bedroom at Grimmauld Place when he was thirteen.

'What do you mean? You don't feel the same, do you? What about Wendy?' Sirius gabbled, desperately trying to make sense of Remus's words. His brain seemed to be short-circuiting.

Remus sighed, wishing the world was a simpler place, or merely one in which he could find the right words to say.

'Wendy… I like Wendy,' he began. 'She'd okay and she can be quite sweet, and if you gave her a chance I think you'd like her but… if I'm honest, I don't know what I was thinking going out with her. I've never felt for her the way I feel about you. I'm sorry.'

'What for?'

'For being such a heartless bastard,' Remus muttered. 'I hate myself for it. I had six days to tell you I love you and what did I do? I went off with some dumb blonde I don't give a Doxy's wing about.'

'Wow, you are pretty heartless,' Sirius joked with a shaky laugh.

'I was trying to protect myself,' Remus explained. 'I was scared of how much it was going to hurt when you left, so I was trying to shield myself. But I just ended up making a mess of everything. And now we have no time left. I'm sorry.'

Sirius shook his head. 'Don't be. It's not your fault it had to be like this. It's nobody's fault.'

'It's still not fair.'

'You sound like me,' Sirius said with a half-hearted smile. Remus laughed.

'I could never sound like you, Padfoot. You are, as you like to say, unique.'

Sirius laid his head on Remus's shoulder. 'I love you, Moony.'

Butterflies fluttered in Remus's stomach at Sirius's words. 'I love you too, Padfoot,' he replied. 'I think I've loved you from being eleven. There's just something about you that fascinates me, something that just… gets me. I know it sounds really cheesy, but…'

Sirius lifted his head from his friend's and nodded. 'It's like you understand me like no one else does. You understand me better than I do, I think.'

Remus slowly reached out and cupped Sirius's chin with his fingertips. Sirius looked at him, fear and anticipation and something else, warm and pleasant, mingling somewhere between his chest and the pit of his stomach.

'I honestly do love you, Padfoot. And I mean it. I always did, you were just too blind to see it.'

Sirius grinned. 'I guess that's why I never made Seeker, eh Moony? That and the fact James threatened to hex me if I got on the team before he did.'

'I much preferred you being in the library with me while James was at Quidditch practice anyway,' Remus muttered, still staring into Sirius's eyes. He'd never really noticed their colour before. At first, they looked dark brown, but close up he could see that they were flecked with green, gold, black, carmine, even chips of darkest navy blue. He smiled and pulled Sirius into a kiss. Sirius's lips were soft; they tasted like apples and grass and summer, the sweet, indescribable flavour of summertime. Suddenly Remus felt desperate. There was more than simply warmth glowing in the pit of his stomach – there was a fire burning. He could taste Sirius's lips but suddenly that wasn't enough. He wanted more – needed more – he had to have all of Sirius.

Clearly Sirius was having the same thoughts, or perhaps he was simply a mind reader, because his tongue suddenly darted out and touched Remus's lips. Obligingly, Remus opened his mouth and all of a sudden their tongues were battling for control over each other, hands were sliding over Remus's shoulders and creeping under his shirt…

Sirius broke away, breathing heavily as though he'd just run a marathon. Remus leaned forward but Sirius put a hand over his eager mouth, suddenly decidedly more awkward than he had been mere minutes before.

'What?' came the muffled question.

'Remus…'

'Yes?'

Sirius cleared his throat, looking as though he would have liked the ground to swallow him up right now. He pressed his lips together before taking a deep breath and saying a profound: 'Er.'

'Sirius, what are you trying to say?' Remus sighed.

'I, um… Okay, you have to promise not to laugh at me.'

'What is it?'

'Promise!'

'Alright, I promise!'

'I'm… I'm a virgin, okay?'

'What?'

'You promised not to laugh!' Sirius protested as Remus rolled around, shaking the bed with his laughter.

'I'm sorry!' he gasped, tears of mirth rolling down his cheeks as he tried and failed to assume something close to a straight face. 'I really am sorry!' he repeated as Sirius gave him one of his pouts. 'But that is the biggest piece of Thestral dung I have ever heard!'

'How is it?' Sirius said, glowering at him.

'Well, what about Mary McDonald?' Remus asked, regaining composure slightly.

'Who?'

'Mary McDonald! Your girlfriend of three weeks in fifth year?'

'Oh yeah,' Sirius said. 'What about her?'

Remus raised his eyebrows. 'You said she was the best sex you'd ever had!' he said accusatorily.

'Well I lied, okay? I lied so you would all think I was a manwhore, and it worked, didn't it? I got a reputation for being the randiest teenager Hogwarts has ever seen!'

Remus laughed. 'Nice one, Padfoot. I have to give it to you I suppose – you did a great job of fooling us all.'

'Well, I am a menteur extraordinaire,' Sirius grinned.

'A what?'

'An extraordinary fibber. What about you?'

'Sorry?'

'Well,' Sirius pressed. 'Are you or aren't you? Have you or haven't you?'

'Do you mean "Are you a virgin, dearest Moony?"?' Remus laughed.

'Indeed I do.'

'Yes, I am a virgin, Padfoot. As if anybody but you could have the arrogance to find a damaged werewolf attractive,' he sighed.

'You're not damaged,' Sirius murmured, suddenly solemn and unsmiling. 'Not to me.'

He kissed Remus urgently, and something exploded with the force of a bomb in Remus's stomach.

'Anyway,' Sirius continued, resurfacing for air, 'I'm glad. I didn't want to be the only inexperienced one. Plus,' he added with a roguish grin, 'that means you're all mine.'

Remus muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, 'Possessive,' but was promptly shut up due to having another mouth attached to his own. Sirius felt quite proud of himself for having discovered the best method of shutting him up, the added bonus of which was that they both quite enjoyed it.

Again, hands crept under Remus's shirt and he couldn't ignore the tingling sensation he felt at their touch. He was suddenly very hard, although that might also have been something to do with the fact that Sirius was now crawling up the bed and then on top of him.

'Mmm, god Sirius…'

'Do shut up, Moony,' Sirius mumbled in reply, kindly unbuttoning his shirt for him and letting it fall to the floor, pulling off his own T-shirt as he kissed Remus again, slipping his tongue inside the other's mouth.

Remus went to undo Sirius's jeans, their lips still touching, tongues still twining in a sizzling, passionate embrace. A small explosion took place in the pit of Sirius's stomach as Remus touched his erection, but he pulled away and leaned back, his own dark eyes fixed on Remus's light brown ones as they asked a silent question.

Are you sure?

Remus's comprehension skills, which usually left something to be desired to say the least, seemed to have improved greatly within the last five minutes. He nodded. 'I love you, Padfoot,' was all he said. That was enough for Sirius; he lunged at Remus again, planting hot, messy little kisses all over him, on his shoulder, his collarbone, up his neck, behind his ear, on his mouth, cheek, fluttering eyelids, anywhere he could reach. Each kiss burned an invisible, fiery mark where it was placed, where the feeling of Sirius's soft mouth and his rough, moist tongue lingered. Every touch sent tremors juddering down his spine until could last no longer – he had to have Sirius, had to have him now.

Sirius moaned softly into his mouth, and Remus smiled into the kiss. He leaned forward and Sirius slid underneath him, wrapping his arms around Remus's waist and unzipping his jeans (never before had the sound of a zip been so inviting…), while Remus writhed and moaned and sighed while his tongue twined with Sirius's…

Sirius pulled Remus's jeans off with apparent ease, then quickly (and rather expertly, Remus thought, for someone who had never done this before – he supposed it was simply among the spectrum of weird, yet wish-you-could-do-that-too, talents unique to the Black family) undid his own, revealing a pair of dark blue, bulrush-patterned boxer shorts. Remus couldn't help but laugh.

'What?' asked Sirius, looking puzzled but half-amused himself.

'Your pants!' Remus spluttered. 'I didn't know you supported Puddlemere United!'

Sirius grinned. 'Does it turn you on, Moony?' he asked as he tore them off rather violently, and Remus inhaled rather sharply.

Without waiting for a reply, he kissed Remus again, slowly and passionately, taking in the warm, woody, cinnamon taste of his lips and tongue, the soft rush of his breath as he sighed against him… Remus was acutely aware of the fact that there was only one (very thin) layer of clothing between them…

And then none at all.

Remus writhed and wriggled, arched his back and moaned as he felt Sirius's hard-on (Sirius! Getting a hard-on over him! Him!) pressing against his thigh.

'Ahh, fuck, Sirius…'

'Well, that was kind of the idea…' Sirius grinned again.

'You're sure you still want to do this?'

Please say yes. Oh god, please say yes. Please don't say you're not ready. Please.

'Moony, I've been waiting for this moment since I was about twelve,' Sirius muttered. Remus laughed breathlessly. Sirius kissed him again, then slid neatly out from underneath him, leaving Remus face down on the bed, panting heavily.

Sirius straddled him, and then he felt cool hands on his back, tracing the length of his spine slowly and gently, fingers running along old scars, souvenirs of his life before the days of Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.

'Nnngh,' he said. Sirius kissed him on the back on his neck, questioning tongue delicately tracing the soft skin, fingers tenderly combing his now thoroughly shaggy, mussed-up hair. He moaned and arched his back, and then Sirius was pushing inside, slowly and gently, and then he was all the way in, and the pain of being taken for the first time was fading fast, and being replaced with an ecstasy that was incomparable to anything he'd ever felt or experienced before.

'Ohhhhhh…'

'I'm not – not hurting you, am I?'

Remus heard the frown in Sirius's voice, but rather than reply was only able to marvel at his ability to be so eloquent at this present moment. It was as much as Remus could do to keep thinking, let alone hold an intelligent and decipherable conversation.

'Nnnn… No, you're – oh, god, Sirius, that's so – mmmf, fuck…'

Evidently, the last few moments had seen Sirius's conversational skills go out of the window as well, as the next few exchanges between the two of them were a string of moans and 'oh fuck's as they arched and ground their hips, each lost and so wrapped up in the other.

Remus moaned and gasped as he came ever closer to his climax, Sirius moving faster and harder inside him and letting out little whimpers that he would never have thought would come from a member of the most ancient and noble Black family (it just went to show, who knew?).

Sirius let out a cry of ecstasy and came at almost exactly the same time as Remus. They both lay still, panting, for a while, until Sirius extracted himself from Remus and rolled over, still breathing heavily. Remus remained face down and still for a few moments; Sirius looked over in some concern.

'Are you okay?' he asked.

'Fuck. Me,' came the muffled reply.

'I just did,' Sirius laughed, somewhat relieved, as Remus rolled over and grinned shyly.

'Now that was the best I've ever had.' Sirius sighed contentedly. Remus frowned.

'I thought you were a virgin?'

Sirius shrugged. 'I am. Well I was. Still the best I've ever had,' he grinned, rolling over, wrapping his arm around Remus's waist and burying his face in Remus's neck, inhaling the comforting cinnamon-and-toast aroma of his skin.

'Mmmm…'

Remus closed his eyes and conceded that, just maybe, his wasn't completely fucked up after all. For instance, lying here with Padfoot draped across him definitely counted as an improvement (although admittedly he wasn't sure why Sirius was sniffing him). Life might actually be looking up for once.

'I love you, Moony,' Sirius murmured, laying his head on Remus's chest. Remus could feel his voice vibrating through his own ribcage, and the sensation coupled with the words themselves sent his stomach into funny little back-flips. It was rather nice, he thought happily.

'I love you too, Padfoot,' he sighed. 'I always have.'

'Do you… Do you reckon Lily and James knew? That we fancied each other all along and never had the guts to admit it to each other?'

Remus was silent for a while, deep in thought. Then he smiled. The smile had a hint an air of reminiscence about it, and just a hint of sadness. It made him look all the more beautiful.

'Yeah,' he said thoughtfully. 'Probably. James was probably going mad with frustration. I reckon Lily knew we'd figure it out at some point, though.'

They both laughed, and Sirius planted tender little kisses all over Remus's faintly scarred upper body, while Remus stroked the dark, shiny (and somewhat dishevelled) locks that fell so gracefully around Sirius's shoulders.

'Mmm,' Sirius breathed again, inhaling the scent of Remus again, determined to commit it to memory for ever. Remus tilted his head forwards and caught Sirius's lips in a tender kiss. Sirius sighed and leaned into him, stroking the messy, tawny hair out of the beautiful, almost melancholy brown eyes. He studied the pale angular face, the long, straight nose, almond-shaped eyes with long, spidery lashes, completely wasted on any male, soft, shell-pink lips – sharp, pointed peaks of the top lip, soft, contrasting curve of the bottom. He studied all these features hungrily, drinking them in as though he had never seen them before, before closing his eyes, laying his head on the pale, skinny chest and falling asleep.

How many times can a man say, 'I love you' before the reader gets bored? (My dad's a big Bob Dylan fan, and I often make obscure references to things in my life.) Oh well, that's the slash-y bit over and done with (thank god). I don't think I'll ever be writing any more again, but hey. Ya never know.