Beyond Repair

By: Lesera128

Rated: M

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am just playing in someone else's sandbox….

Summary: Secrets abound as Skye reluctantly returns to Australia at AJ's behest despite the fact its where her marriage to Jax ended in disaster the previous year. AU. Skye/Jax. SAX.

Author's Note: I am reposting some of the older works that I have saved on my harddrive. Old-time SAX fans may remember this story. It was originally posted under my other penname [MuseofJaynor] at the Skye messageboard fan fiction archive. Many people already know this, but in case you were wondering, yeah, that was me.

Silence settled between the two. Across the metaphorical gulf that now stood as a vast chasm between them, only the crashing of the waves against the shore and the screeching of the last few gulls that were flying overhead before sundown could be heard. Skye struggle to fight back her sobs. She wouldn't cry in front of him. She wouldn't.

Jax wasn't sure how to respond to Skye's declaration. Based upon what A.J. had told him, he had been able to put a lot of the puzzle pieces together prior to forcing her admission. But, hearing it from Skye's lips... hearing her say the words... hearing her admit her guilt - it was almost too much for him. He turned from her. He could feel tears stinging his eyes, and he refused to let her see him cry. He wouldn't cry in front of her. He wouldn't.

Unsure of what else to say, Skye was about to turn from him again and leave. There was nothing left for her here anymore. There hadn't been for a long time, she thought/.

As she turned to go, Jax sensed her movements. Pulling himself together enough to speak, he said softly, "Skye."

Surprised, Skye stopped. Jax seemed to know what she was doing even though he had not yet turned his back to look at her. Silence still so tangible between them that Skye thought that she might be able to reach out and grasp it, she waited.

At last, Jax spoke again. Softly. In an alien tone of voice that Skye had never heard before.

"Do you remember the one time you told me all the horrible things you had done in your past and then you asked me to leave you?"

Skye bit her lip. That painful memory was as clear to her as any where Jax was concerned. She tested each of the short words on her lips as she breathed, "I do."

"Do you remember what I told you?"

Skye sighed softly. She took in a deep breath as she said, "You said 'don't run.'"

"Don't run, Skye." Jax repeated. He turned around slowly. "Don't run," he repeated more firmly.

He was silent again for a moment before he finally looked and met her gaze once more. Skye could see the pain he was in, it blazed clearly in his eyes. He looked at her with a look that nearly broke Skye. But, she refused to give in. All she had left was her dignity. She refused to give that up to Jax too. Thus, the pair continued to stare at each other in silence.

Finally, Jax said, "If I asked you not to run, then why did you? Why didn't you come to me? Why didn't you trust in me... trust in our love enough to deal with anything that might come at it?"

"Even death, Jax?" Skye blurted out.

Jax nodded slowly. "Even death."

Skye crossed her arms slowly, taking the defensive stance more firmly. "I guess I never learned to have the faith in you that you seemed to have had in me, Jax."

Sighing, Jax ran a hand through his hair. "Why, Skye? You knew I loved you. I thought we worked through all of those issues that night..."

"That night after you fought with Carly?" Skye finished the sentence, somewhat bitterly. That was the night it had all started. That was the night their daughter had been conceived. That was the night that Skye had realized that Jax was truly all she wanted in live, and that had scared her.

Being able to discern the bitterness in her voice, Jax sighed. He misconstrued the source as he said, "Skye, look. I know I am not completely innocent in this whole tangled web of events. I know... I know that I cheated on you with Carly, but -"

Looking down at the ground, Skye whispered, "No, you didn't."

"What?" Jax said, as he turned his eyes to stare at her downcast head. "What are you talking about."

"You didn't cheat on me, Jax."

Jax's brow furrowed as he said, "Skye... I thought you knew. But... I did. That's what I thought you were talking about that last time we saw each other... that afternoon in the cemetery. I slept with Carly the night that I found you in that Woman's Health Center. After I thought..."

Skye lifted her head slowly. She shook her head as she finished his sentence. "The day you thought I had aborted your child?"

Nodding slowly, there was no need for words from Jax as he confirmed what Skye had said.

"It was all a setup, Jax. All of it," Skye said softly. She then thought back and couldn't help but laugh at the ironic role fate had played in that day's happenings. "Okay, well maybe not all of it. You finding the pregnancy test... that was something on which I hadn't planned."

His eyebrows narrowing, Jax said, "Skye... I don't know what anyone told you, but I know what happened. I... I... was out of control that night. I just couldn't handle feeling the pain anymore. I didn't know how to make it stop. And somehow I ended up in a pub... and I drank. I drank to make the pain go away. I drank to forget. I drank to just do anything but face the truth of what I thought was happening. And, then somehow I ended up back here... and you weren't here, but Carly was... and before I knew what was happening, one thing led to another, and Carly and I..."

"It wasn't Carly, Jax," Skye said as she took a step forward.

"Yes, it was. I know it was. Because when I woke up, I gave her... I remember giving her..."

Reaching inside the sun dress she was wearing, Skye slowly pulled out a silver chain. Hanging on the end of it was a single pearl. She looked up at him and she nodded, "This?"

Jax's eyes narrowed. "How did you get that? Did Carly give that to you?"

"I told you. You didn't give this to Carly that night."

Backing away from her, Jax almost stumbled and fell. "I remember. I remember... I woke up with Carly next to me. And... I..."

"Jax."

"I remember my head was hurting and..."

"Jax."

"And, I know it was Carly..."

"Jax." Skye called out. She nodded at him. There was confusion blazing in his eyes as she cut him off. "Think about it. Think about it carefully. Was Carly there in bed with you the morning that you woke up?"

Jax let out a deep breath. He slowly shook his head. "No. she... she came in carrying a breakfast tray... and... but, I know... what you're saying can't be true. I know it can't."

"Do you remember the color of the walls, Jax?"

"Walls?"

"Of the bedroom you woke up in?" Skye prodded.

Jax's brow furrowed in thought as he struggled to remember. At last, he murmured, "Pink. Dusky pink."

"That's right. And the only room in the house that is painted that color is...?"

"Your room," Jax said softly. "I know. I went looking for you there, and Carly was there. You weren't, but she was."

Closing her eyes with a sigh, Skye nodded. "I wasn't at first. But... later..."

The memories flooding over her, Skye played back the images in her mind. It started with Carly's phone call….

"Skye Chandler-Quartermaine," Skye had answered, when her cell phone went off.

The answer came quickly, she as she had expected. "It's me."

"What is it, Carly?"

"It's time, Skye. He's here."

"Where?" Skye said, as she looked at her watch.

"The house. He just stumbled in."

"How is he?"

"He's bad, Skye. He's... this is the worst I have ever seen him. I think he's drunk."

"How drunk?"

"Very drunk."

"Are you sure?"

Carly was silent for a second before she responded. "If we are going to do it, then now is the time."

"Good. Then this is it. You're right. If we are going to do this, than we do it tonight."

"All right," Carly responded.

Skye sighed. "Go to my room, Carly. If he is as drunk as you say, he'll be looking for me. I'm on my way. I'll try and get there before you. I'll hide in the bathroom. You just need to get him into the bed..."

"I understand." Carly said softly. She then hung up, placing the phone back in the receiver.

As Jax stumbled in the bottom part of the house, Carly watched and waited. In the meantime, by some miracle, Skye managed to sneak into her own room and hide in the bathroom just as she had promised. When she heard the door to her bedroom open the first time, she knew it was Carly. When the door flew open the second time, Skye knew the moment of truth had arrived.

"Skye!" Jax bellowed.

Turning around, stepping out of the shadows, Carly said softly, "She's not here, Jax."

"Carly? What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you," came the response in a sultry voice.

Jax looked at her. "Why?"

"I know what happened, Jax."

"She told you?" Jax said in a slurred speech, his eyes flashing anger, despair, and just an edge of violence below the surface of the alcohol-induced cloud that hung over Jax's mind.

Carly remained silent as she walked up to him. Reaching out, she seductively reached up and placed a hand on Jax's chest and shrugged, "Does it matter?"

Jax looked down at the hand, and said, "She betrayed me, Carly. She killed... killed our baby. She killed my child, Carly. Skye killed my child."

At his words, the violence suddenly evaporated as quickly as it had appeared and tears began to stream down Jax's face. Sobbing, Jax began to shak, and Carly moved closer o him. Pulling him into an embrace, she said, "Shush. It's okay, Jax. Shush. It's going to be okay."

"God, why? Why did she do it, Carly? Why did she betray me?" Jax whispered as he stumbled out of her grasp. Looking up wild-eyed at her, Jax waited for an answer.

Shrugging at last, Carly lied, "I don't know why Skye doed half the things she does. She's always been like that, you know?" Moving towards him once again, she pulled him into another embrace. "But, it doesn't matter. What's done is done.," she murmured into his ear.

"No…." Jax whimpered.

"Yes," Carly said. "It's done, and I can see the pain it's causing you, Jax. You're hurting so badly…. please... let me help you."

Meeting her eyes, Jax struggled to latch on to the lifeline that Carly seemingly was offering. "How?" Jax whispered.

Reaching up, Carly gave Jax a gentle kiss on the lips. Despite his drunken state, Jax was surprised.

"No, Carly."

Pulling back, he stumbled backwards and fell onto the bed.

Carly moved closer to him, a seductive grin on her face. "Why not, Jax?"

"I can't do that to her... I can't hurt Skye like that," Jax said as he watched Carly whet her lip purposely.

"Why?" she asked innocently.

Jax looked away before he said at last, "Because I won't betray her, Carly."

"You said it yourself, Jax. *She* is the one that betrayed *you*," Carly said as she placed her hands on her hips and took another step towards the bed. "Skye is the one that broke what love there was between you. So does it really matter if you share another woman's bed for one single solitary night to ease your pain, just a bit? To forget the horrible events that have caused you so much hurt… even just for a few hours?"

Going towards him, Carly gently pushed him back onto the bed. She gave him another kiss, and then helped him shrug out of his out of his jacket.

In his drunken stupor, Carly's words made some sense. He began to kiss her back as he muttered, "You're right."

"Of course, I am."

Pulling away, Carly looked down into Jax's eyes. "Hold on."

"What?" Jax asked in confusion, his eyes roving up and down her body.

Carly smiled at him. "Give me a second to go and slip into something more comfortable."

Jax nodded. "Don't take too long."

Moving forward, Carly poured Jax a glass of whiskey. She handed it to him. "To keep you occupied until I get back."

Jax took the glass gratefully. He watched Carly disappear into the bathroom where Skye was still hidden. As Jax proceeded to drain the whiskey in a single gulp, he poured himself another shot before he collapsed back onto the bed.

Meanwhile, Carly whispered to Skye, "He's ready."

"You slipped him the drug?"

Carly shook her head. "No."

"Why not?"

"He is all ready so far gone, Skye, it's not necessary."

"But, Carly..."

"Trust me, Skye. The amount of alcohol coupled with the amount of pain he is in is more than enough."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Turning around, Carly nodded at her. "I would say good-luck, but it doesn't seema appropriate. I'll be back in the morning with breakfast for him at 8."

"I'll make sure to be gone," Skye said softly. "Thank-you, Carly."

Merely nodding, Carly turned and silently exited via the door that adjoined the bathroom to the dressing room on the other side of Skye's bedroom. Slipping quietly out the doors, Skye looked down at herself. Nodding at the black robe, she adjusted the belt so that it could quickly and easily be undone. At least if she was going to make Jax think he had betrayed her, they could at least have one last night together. Skye almost laughed at the perversity of it.

Entering the room, she saw how right Carly was with one glance towards the bed. For a split second, Skye wondered if Jax had passed out… or if he hadn't, if he was so far gone that he would even be able to respond to her ministrations. Taking a closer look, Skye saw that, as she suspected, Jax was not that far from passing out. He was laying on the bed, but she could see in the darkness of the room that his eyes were following her as she moved across the room towards where he lay.

"Carly?" he said softly.

"I'm here," Skye replied.

Moving forward, she came to stand in front of the bed. Jax's brow furrowed in confusion as a spark of recognition blazed in his eyes. "Skye?"

Reaching down for his hand, Skye guided it to the belt on her gown. She shook her head as she said, "No. Carly."

"But, I..."

"You're seeing things, Jax," Skye whispered as she guided his hand to pull the strap loose. The silk robe fell to the gown in a whisper of material. The moonlight illuminated her perfect body, and for Jax, that was all he concentrated on. Grabbing her, he pulled her down into the bed and tried to forget Skye and all the pain she had caused him. The sheer physical brutality of his lovemaking astonished Skye. He had never been so... harsh, so rough, so unforgiving in all the times he had ever made love to her. But, when he cried out in release, a part of her couldn't help but wonder how much of that action was due to his physical response or the emotional pain she saw him drowning within every time his gaze briefly met hers.

Rolling them over so that she was on top of him, this time Skye took the lead and concentrated solely on bringing physical release once more to his body. The rawness of the physical act shocked her, their movements mechanical and devoid of emotion, but she figured that was as it should be. There was nothing emotional about this night aside from the emotional turn of events that had brought it about. And, so it continued into the dark hours of the early morning...

The following day, Skye had left just as she had promised. Carly had returned, and Jax's hangover was so bad that he could barely remember what had happened. He knew he had slept with someone that previous night, and he had no reason to doubt Carly's word.

The only proof that it had been Skye's bed he went to that night instead of Carly's was now clasped about Skye's neck. She turned to Jax, the memories fading away as she came into the present.

"You gave this to me that morning thinking I was Carly, Jax. You gave this to me..."

Jax couldn't process what Skye was telling him. But he knew the truth of her words. He finished them, "I gave them to Carly as a 'thank-you.' I had bought them for you that morning as an early birthday gift. And then everything happened, and I couldn't bear to keep it. So I gave it to Carly..."

"You gave it to the woman you slept with that night, Jax."

"I gave it to you," he said softly.

Moving to her, he brought a hand to her cheek. "So much trouble, Skye. So many lies and schemes. Why?"

Skye smiled at his nearness as fresh tears ran down her face. "I knew you would never accept leaving me unless you thought I had a viable reason to push you away for good. But, I couldn't bear to not have one last night with you, Jax. I guess it was selfish, but..."

A siren in the distance caught Skye and Jax's attention at the immediate moment that a voice pierced the air and cut her off mid-sentence. "Skye!"

Turning from Jax, Skye saw A. J. running towards the pair, Sydney clutched in his arms.

"A.J.?" Skye called. "What's wrong?"

Coming towards them, he hastily pushed Sydney into Skye's arms. "Carly. She's hurt. No time to explain. Have to get to the hospital. Can't take the baby though…."

As soon as Sydney was out of his arms, he turned on his heel and quickly disappeared as fast as he had come. "I'll call!" A.J. yelled over his shoulders.

Sydney was crying at being handled so roughly. Skye immediately tried to shush her, until she realized Jax was staring at his daughter and her mother.

"What?" Skye asked.

Jax smiled. "It's just the first time I've ever seen the two of you together. Now that I do, the resemblance is just a little unnerving."

"I never really noticed it," Skye said as she shifted Sydney in her arms. "The only thing I've kept focusing on were her eyes." She was silent before she looked up and said, "Your eyes, Jax."

His hand tentatively came out to pat Sydney's head. "She's beautiful, Skye."

"I know."

Suddenly, things were too much for Skye. Taking the baby, she hastily pushed Sydney into Jax's arms. He took the baby as she turned and called over her shoulder to him, "Take Sydney. I've got to get to the hospital. A.J. and Carly need me."

Jax stood dumbfounded as Sydney continued to wail in his arms.

"Skye!" he called.

However, she didn't hear him. She had already disappeared from his sight once more.

-TBC-