This is going somewhere, I promise. There'll be a plot somewhere within this thing… It may take a while though.

DISCLAIMER: I own no part of the Harry Potter books, films, etc. Everything belongs to JKR/Warner Bros.

Nor do I own the lyrics to Waterloo Sunset, they belong to Ray Davies/The Kinks.

All bits from the book(s) are in bold

The Meaning Of Family

Chapter Nine

27th November 1981

Dear Moony –

I'm sorry I didn't write sooner, it's been pretty hectic this past fortnight. My mother and Kreacher are driving me insane – when I arrived on the doorstep Kreacher pretended not to know who I was and told me my mother wasn't interested in purchasing anything; within five minutes he was muttering about blood traitors and running away and 'breaking my poor mistress's heart', which is complete and utter Thestral dung if I ever heard it – my mother doesn't have a bloody heart to break.

Fortunately Dumbledore arrived soon enough to put the Fidelius Charm on the house and he explained everything – not that it helped much, my mother still refused to look at me for several hours and keeps wailing things like, 'Never really a part of the noble family!' and 'Traitor!' and 'Oh, my poor, poor Regulus!'

She really has a knack for boosting your confidence, my mother.

No, really.

To be honest, I don't really think she's been in her right mind since Regulus died. It's still depressing to be back here, though. I'm drowning, Moony! I'm trapped in this horrible, stuffy, rubbish-y house and there's nothing I can do about it. I really miss you, Moony. Harry started doing that really cute baby-cooing thing yesterday and all I could think was, 'I wish Remus was here to see that.'

I really wish you were here. I'm still so mad at Dumbledore, how the hell are we supposed to just carry on like normal? I can't lose you, Moony. I can't lose you like we lost Lily and James. I found that photo of the four of us Marauders, the one that was taken at the party after we won the Quidditch Cup in fifth year, in my bedroom the other day. It was the only one my parents didn't manage to destroy. It reminded me of old times, and I'd give anything to be back at Hogwarts again. It made me kind of wistful, but it also lifted my spirits a little bit, despite the fact that Peter's on there. I'd send it to you, but I can't get it off the wall because I stuck it on with a Permanent Sticking Charm ages ago. My bedroom's the only halfway decent room in the house and even that depresses me because it reminds me of how happy I used to be. Isn't that stupid? I have one photograph and a Gryffindor banner and they depress me because I used to be happy. I know if you were here, Moony, you'd brighten the place up. I know that sounds horribly sickly and sentimental but I genuinely think you might even lift my mother's spirits, even though it is hardly a mean feat. I know you used to say I was in-cesspit-ly cheerful all the time or whatever, but I think I left my sense of humour behind when I came to live here. It doesn't take much to depress a person here, trust me.

Anyway, must run, Harry's wailing. Again. I don't think he likes it here anymore than I do.

Padfoot

P.S. I had to Transfigure two very precious family-heirloom, been-in-the-family-for-millenniums tables of hers because I forgot Harry's cot and changing table, so my mother hates me.

No change there then.

P.P.S. Oh, and you couldn't be a dear and fill me in on the important news of the wizarding world, could you? My mother doesn't buy the Daily Prophet anymore. I don't know why, I only know that she doesn't do much these days except insult me.

30th November 1981

Padfoot –

How are you and Harry? It's pretty lonely here without you both, my house seems a lot bigger these days (I suppose it saves me putting an extension charm on it) and my transformation this month was weirdly lonely. I don't think I've ever felt lonely at the full moon – painful, perhaps and frustrated (I bolt all the doors and windows when I'm about to transform so I don't end up hurting anyone, so I tend to wreck my living room as I can't bite or scratch people) – but never lonely. It's been a really weird fortnight, and it sounds like it has been for you too.

I deeply sympathise – the one time I met your mother she wasn't very nice to me, was she? I admire your stunt with the tables, but it might be an idea to tread carefully if you want to keep your ears – she tried to hex mine off, remember?

You say you're not getting the Prophet? Well, to say the least, they're not big fans of you at the Ministry. I don't want to alarm you, but you probably shouldn't leave the house for a while – Wormtail's 'Missing, Presumed Dead', and apparently you're to blame for his murder. He's been missing since Tuesday and they've sent out a huge search party for him but no one's seen a dickey bird. Dumbledore and I have been to the Ministry, of course, but they're refusing to believe that Wormtail could be an unregistered Animagus; the Auror office think we're crazy and the Department of Magical Law Enforcement won't even see us on account of my being a werewolf – they seem to think that my 'affliction' causes me to be a pathological liar.

I'm so sorry, Padfoot. I wish there was some way we could work this out – it's so messed up and complicated and I feel so guilty about everything.

Anyway, there isn't much to tell, so I'll leave you to go and feed Harry or insult Kreacher or whatever it is you do these days.

All my love

Moony

Anyway, there isn't much to tell…

He was such a liar.

'You coming?' Wendy asked, sticking her head around the living room door.

'Yep, just let me finish this letter,' Remus murmured.

Wendy sighed. She'd been waiting for five minutes for him to finish this blasted letter. Who on earth was that important that they couldn't wait a couple of hours? It wasn't like there was any midnight postal service in the village, anyway. 'Shall I just go on this date on my own, then?'

Remus looked up sharply, then winced and massaged his neck. He had a slightly stunned expression, one that reminded her of her ex-boyfriend's when she'd once drunkenly slapped him after a row.

'What?' Remus frowned. Then he laughed. 'Who said it was a date?'

Wendy scowled. 'I thought that was the whole point. I thought that was why we planned a whole evening together. I thought that was why I spent an hour getting ready.'

Remus's face fell. 'Oh,' he said, turning an interesting shade of pink. He cleared his throat, and said, rather sheepishly, 'I kind of just meant… you know. As friends.'

'Friends?' The one word was spoken with acid-laced vehemence, causing Remus to shrink back into his chair, biting his lip and looking rather frightened.

'Erm… Sorry?' he offered. Wendy rolled her eyes and threw herself down on the shabby couch.

'I suppose this has something to do with your boyfriend?'

Remus blanched. 'What?'

'You know,' Wendy said, as if explaining something to a child, 'the one I saw you at the hospital with. The guy with the kid. Where is he, anyway?'

'Oh, no no, he's not my boyf –' Remus stopped. Was he? Were they an item? No… That was impossible, they couldn't be. They ought to be, they should have been, but they weren't because fate had a habit of making an entrance at exactly the wrong moment.

Wendy stared at him in mild surprise, then a second later seemed to decided that she wasn't angry any more, as she grinned and shook her head.

'Of course he's your boyfriend, Remus, or at least he was until you two split up. Why else would he be living in your house with his kid?'

'No, Harry's not his kid. You see, our friends…' He sighed, as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. 'Our friends were – were killed, and Sirius was appointed his guardian if anything should happen to Lily and James. But Sirius didn't want to take Harry on, he thought he'd be a terrible parent but I persuaded him that we could do it together, so we did. But, er… His – Sirius, his mother… his mother's, um, ill, so he had to go back and live with her and take Harry with him. He's not my boyfriend. He was never my boyfriend,' he finished dejectedly, suddenly very interested in his knees.

Wendy considered him for a moment. 'Oh yeah?' she said.

'Yeah.'

'Then why are you so depressed?'

Remus looked up from his knees. 'What?'

Wendy smiled sympathetically. 'Isn't that why you called me? You're feeling rejected and dejected and you needed someone to rebound on. You never really fancied me.'

'No, I don't want to hurt your feelings –' Remus began, but Wendy cut him off.

'It's okay. It happens to the best of us,' she said kindly. 'I kind of had a hunch you were gay anyway,' she continued. 'I don't know why I agreed to go out with you anyway, you were so clearly into your "friend". I always seem to fall for the wrong guys. Typical.' She sighed a little sadly. Remus couldn't help feeling sympathetic.

'The right man will come for you. Prince Charming's just around the corner,' he said softly.

Wendy laughed. 'Call me in twenty years and you'll find me living alone with twenty cats. Anyway, weren't we talking about your Prince Charming?' she said pointedly.

'Oh yeah.' Remus frowned. 'Well, the thing is… I don't think anything else is going to happen between us now. I think it's over for good.' He'd come to accept this fact but in his head but it didn't sound any better out loud. In fact, it sounded worse. He sounded older and more tired than he'd ever done. He sounded forty years older – sixty-one instead of twenty-one.

Wendy's eyes widened. 'Anything else?' she cried, her voice a borderline-squeal. 'What do you mean? What did you do?'

Oh. This wasn't exactly the way the conversation was supposed to go, Remus contemplated, reflecting that he should have expected this, as his life never seemed to go right anyway. 'Nothing?' he tried. As expected, Wendy did not believe him.

'What did you do?' she repeated, far more excited by the prospect of whatever it was than she should be. He eyes were shining like orbs and she had the suggestion of a grin on her face, a look he had often seen Sirius wear in their schooldays when he had sensed that James was about to curse Severus Snape.

'It's um… nothing, we just… It really isn't –'

'You had SEX didn't you!' Wendy squealed, springing up from the sofa. 'Ohmygod you had sex! Ohmygod what was it like? Was he good? Was he your first? Come on, spill!'

Remus gaped at her in shock, stunned by this sudden bombardment of questions (not to mention the nature of them) and for a few seconds he could only stare at her with a frozen expression of shock and surprise, as though he'd had a Body Bind Curse placed on him. She jumped up off the couch and rushed through the doorway with the cry, 'I'm going to the loo! Tell me when I've come back!' then rushed back again with the command, 'And break the wine out, we're staying here!' Neither of these exclamations did Remus comprehend; he could only sit there with his mouth hanging open gormlessly. His brain seemed to have crashed; all it seemed to be able to do was remind him that he was poor, jobless and only had about fifty pounds left in his bank account, the result of which was that the only things he had in his fridge were an endless supply of milk (cow- and formula) and a lumpy, grey, gruel-like substance Sirius had left in there which he wasn't really inclined to touch, and had not drunk wine in approximately two years.

After about a minute, he slowly extended his right leg and, upon finding that he could indeed move, proceeded across the floor to the living room door, unsure of his precise aim but aware that he was supposed to be doing something. As he reached the doorway, however, he was greeted by Wendy, who had come back downstairs and who was holding a rather heavy book in her hand. His brain (rather sluggishly) told him that he ought to hope she wasn't going to throw it at him for whatever reason, but was still trying to understand why she was so excited by the prospect of him and Sirius having sex.

'What's this?' she asked, brow knitted in confusion. Remus realised to his horror that it was a Defence textbook, clearly discovered along with the rest of his extraordinarily large collection he had somehow or other come to build up.

'Ummm… It's nothing. It's just, erm…'

'Defence Against the Dark Arts: OWL level study textbook,' Wendy read out, raising her eyebrows at Remus.

'Erm… Hmm. Yeah, I erm… I just er… Something I'm, um, working on…'

'Remus?' she said levelly.

'Shit – erm, I mean yes?'

'Are you weird?' Wendy asked as she burst out laughing. 'I've never seen one of these before in my life! You're a freak!' She shook her head. 'I knew there must have been a reason I was attracted to you!'

'Do you miss him?' Wendy asked a few hours later as they sat on the couch, wrapped in blankets and sipping coffee from chipped china mugs, watching the slowly dying fire in the grate.

'Yeah. Loads,' Remus murmured. The dancing flames cast sinister, spiked shadows on the walls, shapes that reminded him of dark nights and tiny houses and one long, painful, primal howl…

'I know what it's like.'

He looked at Wendy, and narrowed his eyes. She couldn't be older than twenty-one, like him, but her expression had suddenly become sorrowful and world-weary. She looked to him as he felt he must have looked a few hours ago when he'd talked of never having any kind of relationship with Sirius in future – tired and disheartened, as though she'd seen everything there was to see and it had made her older than her years. He frowned and asked, 'Who?'

'Hmm?' she said absently, tearing her gaze from the still flickering fire to his face.

'Who was he?'

Wendy sighed. She didn't want to revisit the past, she wanted to escape it – wasn't that the exact reason for coming here? She'd left a promisingly budding career as a lawyer, a home and a family who loved her and for what? A man whom she couldn't even bear to look in the face anymore. Unbidden, unwanted tears rolled down her cheeks as she fought to keep from breaking down and sobbing. She didn't want to tell the story, she hadn't ever told it, not to anyone, not to her mother, nor her father, her sister or brother, nor any of her best friends.

And now Remus was looking at her like he was frightened and regretful, like he knew he'd put his foot in it, and something in his expression compelled her to let the words come tumbling out; half the time they bypassed her brain and rushed out of their own accord, desperate and pleading to be heard. He sat and listened the whole time, and didn't but in, didn't say a word to the shaky sobs, didn't tell her to speak up whenever her words trailed off and her voice lowered. He sat and listened and held her, suddenly the closest – perhaps the first real –friend she'd ever had.

'When I was sixteen I – I fell in love with this guy. H-he was… different, you know? He wasn't like all the other men I knew; he was so kind and compassionate and he s-spoke to me like – like I was a person, you know? Not like I was just a stupid little schoolgirl, even though that's exactly what I was. We talked about all sorts – he was a lawyer just like I wanted to be and I told him all about my A levels and how I was going to go to law school – he told me it was pretty hard and I'd have to work at it but I told him that was no problem, I didn't care a-and I just wanted it so much.

'It wasn't that I'd make a brilliant lawyer, but it was just like… Just like I needed to get out of that little village really badly and I knew law school was one way to do that. Don't get me wrong – I really wanted to be a lawyer, it's just that the thought of getting out of that oppressive little community was an added bonus for me.

'Anyway, Jack and I, we got really friendly. We just… just clicked, you know? It just felt so… so right.' She shook her head. 'I was so stupid. He was fourteen bloody years older than me but I just fell so hopelessly in love with him – there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't bear the thought of him having a wife and kids, so I never asked. We just talked and laughed and chatted and got along perfectly well, and then one day… One evening he – he invited me back to his house and we… I told my parents I was going to a friend's house but I went to his instead, and he'd cooked a really romantic dinner. It was just like a proper date. There was wine and everything. And then, afterwards… I'd never drunk before, you see, my dad was a bit of a prude and it went to my head a bit… Afterwards, we had a bit too much to drink a-and we… He…'

More hot tears spilled down her cheeks as she curled up and brought her knees up to her chest.

'I f-found out I was pregnant about a month later… I was so scared, Remus, I didn't know what to do. I tried to block it out, pretend it wasn't happening but that didn't work, so I told my best friend and she told another girl, and pretty soon… T-the whole school knew, Remus! I was thrown out and then my parents f-found out… My mum said we should put the baby up for adoption. I told her I didn't want to but she didn't listen – nobody ever listens to me! I had no choice, I had to do what they t-told me and… and then…

'And then he left. He just took off one day and I didn't know where he'd gone. I tried to get in contact with him but I didn't ever find him.

'After I had the baby the c-couple my mum had chosen t-took it away… I went back to school but I was so depressed I just couldn't catch up with the work. The school had a new Headmaster and he took pity on me, I don't know why. He said I should repeat the year, that just because I'd made a mistake and been taken advantage of there was no reason I shouldn't have the same opportunities as everyone else. So I was kept behind a year and then I went to college and then law school… It was as if the whole thing with Jack had never happened.

'Just as I was getting back on my feet, he came back. I was twenty, just getting started with a good career, and then h-he showed up. I'd moved to London, had just got a new flat and a good job and I saw him in a café one day. It… it was so weird, I thought I was dreaming at first, but then he came over and started talking to me and I – I don't know what happened, I just told him everything! He was horrified that I'd had the baby adopted, though he had no right to be. He couldn't even look me in the eye anymore. He asked me what kind of mother would do that to her child. I didn't say anything back, I couldn't, I just burst into tears and ran back to my flat. I rang my workplace and told my boss's secretary to tell him that I was handing in my notice and wouldn't be in tomorrow, packed up all my stuff and left and came here. I knew I shouldn't want to see him ever again, but somehow I just… I couldn't stop thinking about him. It's been a year and I still can't.'

'Have you told him where you are?' Remus asked tentatively. Wendy, though still wiping tears from her face, managed a perfectly disdainful expression directed straight at him.

'I may be crazy and naïve, but I'm not that crazy,' she told him. 'I don't want to end up in that kind of mess again. It's too much, I don't think I could handle seeing him again. I doubt he'd take it too well, either.'

'What about your baby?'

'M-my son?' Wendy sniffed. 'N-no way, I can't bring him into this, it's not fair. He deserves better parents than me and he's got them.'

Remus frowned. 'I bet you'd make a brilliant mother!' he protested.

Wendy shrugged. 'Maybe now,' she conceded. 'Not back then, I was just a kid myself. I didn't want to put my child through that. Like I said, he deserves better. He's done nothing wrong.'

Remus put his arm around her affectionately. 'I'm sure he'd love to meet you someday,' he said, wiping a streak of mascara from Wendy's cheek. She shook her head.

'He wouldn't. I wouldn't. I don't want him to see what a mess I've made of my life. I don't want him to think I'm a failure – though I suppose that's probably what he thinks already.'

'You're not a failure!' Remus cried. 'You're a great person and a brilliant friend!'

'I'm a receptionist,' Wendy muttered.

'So? What's wrong with that? Someone has to be. Without you, the whole hospital would be in chaos!'

She laughed. Remus smiled, pleased at being able to cheer her up.

'And you've made a wonderful new friend!' he added. Wendy tried to smile.

'You're not that wonderful, Remus, don't get too bigheaded,' she joked. Remus grinned.

'That's not what Sirius told me.'

'EURGH!' she cried, giggling in spite of herself. 'You are disgusting!'

'You're the one who wanted to know all the gory details!' Remus argued, also laughing.

Wendy giggled again as Remus hugged her like an old friend, feeling that her life maybe wasn't a complete failure. She'd found someone kind and caring and sympathetic – she'd found a friend, something she hadn't had for a while now, five years at the very least. In a weird, primal kind of way, she felt as though she'd found a kind of family outside that which she was linked with by blood. What was the saying again? Friends are the family you choose yourself. She'd never believed that saying, not until this moment, but she had to admit that the words meant something to her now.

Family.

'I bet his adoptive parents told him all sorts of stories about how great you are,' Remus murmured. 'About how you couldn't look after him because you had to go to sea and sail away on a pirate ship, or how you're out in deep space discovering new worlds every day…'

'I hope so,' Wendy smiled. 'The Woods seemed like nice people, anyway.'

'The what?'

'Bob and Susan Wood,' she explained. 'Ollie's adoptive parents. I called him Oliver because it was Jack's favourite name. He used to say that if he ever had a son he'd call him Oliver. I don't know if he meant he didn't have any kids or that he had a daughter – I never found out. I still loved him, even though he'd gone and left me in such a mess… So I called his son Oliver. I don't know what happened to Ollie. I think he lives in Scotland now.'

Oooooooh, revelation! Just so nobody gets confused, Wendy is my own character and I don't think Oliver Wood was Muggleborn OR adopted, but welcome to the world of fanfiction, where I can do what I like with these characters and (hopefully) nobody will persecute me for it. :)

Please review, just 'cause you love me. ;)