Beyond Repair

By: Lesera128

Rated: M

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am just playing in someone else's sandbox….

Summary: Secrets abound as Skye reluctantly returns to Australia at AJ's behest despite the fact its where her marriage to Jax ended in disaster the previous year. AU. Skye/Jax. SAX.

Author's Note: I am reposting some of the older works that I have saved on my harddrive. Old-time SAX fans may remember this story. It was originally posted under my other penname [MuseofJaynor] at the Skye messageboard fan fiction archive. Many people already know this, but in case you were wondering, yeah, that was me.

Those smells. They hadn't changed. In the four months since Skye Chandler-Quartermaine had last been in this exact same hospital, the smells hadn't changed at all. They were so similar to the smells in Skye's memory that she recalled whenever she thought on the place, she almost laughed. Despite all that had changed in her own chaotic world, at least some things had remained constant, like the annoyingly antiseptic smells of Sydney General Hospital.

Barreling her way down the corridor that led to the emergency room, Skye travelled the all too familiar path in mere seconds. Heading towards the admitting desk, she nodded at the nurse in charge.

"Ms. Chandler-Quartermaine!" the woman exclaimed with surprise. "Oh, my. What a surprise!"

"Hello, Vera," Skye said with a forced smile. "Since when are you stuck down here in the bowels of the hospital?"

The nurse smiled. "I was finally able to get a day shift by taking the departmental transfer from obstetrics to E.R. Gives me more time to spend with the little ones."

Skye smiled. "It's good to see you again, Vera."

"And you as well, Ms. Chandler-Quartermaine. How is your little one, by the by? She must be getting big by now."

Nodding, Skye said, "Yes, she is, I suppose. I wouldn't really know though. I gave her up for adoption as soon as she was born."

The nurse frowned sympathetically. "Oh, Ms. Chandler-Quartermaine. I am so sorry to hear that. I know how much you went through to carry that child to term."

Skye smiled weakly. "Yes, well. It was for the best." She paused for a second before she said, "Vera, I think my sister-in-law may have been brought in her a short time ago. Is there any way you can look her up and see if she has been admitted?"

Immediately, the nurse moved to a computer. She smiled as she winked, "Anything for you, dear. What's her name?"

"Carly Quartermaine. Or Caroline Quartermaine. I am not sure which one she would have been admitted under."

The nurse nodded. "I'll check both. Hold on just one second - okay, I've got it. You were right on the first one. Carly Quartermaine. She was brought in about half an hour ago. And... yes, she was admitted. Fifth floor. Room 7-A."

"The fifth floor?" Skye whispered, her mouth suddenly having gone dry.

Nodding, Vera said. "Yes, ma'am. She was admitted as one of Dr. Kavira's patients."

Skye took a deep breath as she nodded. "All right. Thank you, Vera. I very much appreciate it."

The nurse smile and nodded. "Any time Ms. Chandler-Quartermaine. Any time."

Nodding good-bye, Skye clasped her bag close to her. Heading towards the elevator, Skye hesitantly entered. Her hands shook as she pressed the button for the fifth floor. However, when she finally did, it was a mere matter of seconds before she was back to where Sydney's own life had began. Heading down the corridor, as soon as Skye made her first right turn, she saw A.J. pacing outside Carly's room.

"A.J.?" Skye called out to him.

Stopping in his pacing, A.J. looked up in surprise. "Skye?"

She nodded. She came forward and gave him a hug. A.J. was grateful as he came to lean on his older sister, even if it was only for a moment or two. As soon as they pulled a part, A.J. looked at Skye with his eyebrows raised. "Skye? What are you doing here? Where's Sydney?"

"With Jax at the house," Skye replied. "I just had to come, A.J."

"I told you I'd call you as soon as I had any news," A.J. said softly.

Nodding, Skye said, "I know. But, I just couldn't wait, A.J. I had to come."

A weak smile came across A.J.'s face. "I am glad you're here," he told Skye.

Motioning her head in direction of the door, Skye asked softly, "How is she, A.J.?"

Clasping his hands behind his back, A.J. smiled weakly again. "She's fine. At least, that's what Dr. Kavira said. A little dehydrated is all. They put her on an I-V for fluids to get her electrolytes back into balance. And, I think they are going to keep her here overnight for observation, just to be on the safe side."

"I'm sure if that's what Dr. Kavira said, then that's all there is to it, A.J. He is the best, after all," Skye said.

A.J. nodded. "I know. I know… and he did an amazing job with you, but it still is a little weird for me to be back here with him and have you standing next to me this time instead of Carly. Still, you're right. He is the best," A.J. rambled distractedly.

"He is," Skye agreed.

A.J. smiled softly. "I can't believe it, Skye. I don't know how, but Carly and I are getting a second chance. I am going to be a father again."

Skye nodded, biting back the words that almost jumped into her throat. Moving forward, she gave him another hug. As soon as they pulled a part, their attention was drawn to the sound of Carly's hospital room door opening. Dr. Kavira exited and nodded at A.J. When he saw Skye, he smiled. "Hello, Skye."

"Dr. Kavira," Skye nodded in return.

He said, "How are you?"

Shrugging, Skye said, "I'm fine, I guess. But the more important question is how is my sister-in-law?"

Dr. Kavira smiled. "Fine, Skye. I am sure A.J. told you what I told him."

Skye nodded.

"Good. Then just to let you see for yourself, why don't you go in and see her? She's been asking for you, and I need to speak with A.J. in private for a moment," Dr. Kavira said.

Skye bit her lip. She looked to A.J. for confirmation. He smiled. Skye smiled hesitantly in return and then nodded at the two men. "All right then."

Moving forward slowly, as Skye softly knocked on the door.

"Come in," Carly replied.

Pushing the door open, Skye walked in. She really smiled this time at Carly. Carly looked genuinely pleased to see Skye as she said, "Hey you."

"Hey yourself," Skye said softly. "How are you doing?"

Carly shrugged. "I'm not too bad. They told you?"

Skye nodded. Carly smiled. "I have no idea how it happened, Skye," Carly said.

Skye laughed. "Come on, now, Carly. I know you didn't miss that day in Sex Ed., right?"

"No," Carly said with a smile. "But, you know what I mean."

"I do," Skye replied. "When are you due?"

"Early August," Carly said softly. "I'm about six weeks along, give or take."

Moving forward, Skye gave her sister-in-law a hug. "I am so happy for you and A.J., Carly, I can't even tell you…."

Carly nodded. "I know. And you coming here... that means a lot to me. I know this place isn't full of happy memories for you."

Smiling, Skye said, "Oh, they weren't all bad. Syd was born here, after all. Right down the hall as a matter of a fact." She paused and then turned to sit on the edge of Carly's bed. She looked up with an honest shrug, "It's just a little overwhelming being here for the first time since they discharged me four months ago."

Looking up, Carly nodded. "Where is Sydney, Skye? Is A.J. with her?."

Skye shook her head slowly. "No, Carly. She's with her father, at the house. She's with Jax. She's where she belongs, I think, finally."

Turning away from Carly, Skye felt tears sting her eyes. Looking at the pink border of the far wall, identical to that which had decorated the room in which she had given birth to her daughter, Skye felt the memories coming back into her conscious mind despite herself.

"Come on, Skye. You have to work for your baby! You have to work for her," the doctor called to Skye.

The contraction gripped her. Pain seared through her entire body so badly that it felt like she was being cut in two. Sweat was dripping off her brow as Skye arched her body against A.J.'s supportive hands. She tried to concentrate on the breathing technique that A.J. was going through with her. The contraction was bad… and Skye was so tired.

Looking up at A.J., she started to cry.

"A.J., I can't do it anymore," Skye whimpered. "I just can't do it."

"Yes, you can, Skye. You can do it," A.J. encouraged her. Squeezing her hand, he smiled. "Come on, Skye. We're almost there. You're doing great. Just concentrate on the breathing."

"But, it hurts so much, A.J. It hurts so much. I was such a stupid fool… why didn't I just get a c-section? I just can't do *this* anymore," Skye told him.

"I know, sweetie, I know. But you have to help your baby. You have to help her. You've done so wonderful, Skye. You're almost done. You just have a little more to go," A.J. told her.

"I can't," Skye told him as the tears mixed with her sweat.

Several hours of labor pains as the hospital awaited an available operating room, coupled with the fact that Skye refused any pain medications for fear it would hurt the baby, left her in the worse pain she had ever felt in her life. All she wanted to do was push, but she couldn't.

"Please, make it stop, A.J. Please make it stop," Skye cried.

"She's coming, Skye. And we're almost ready to take you into surgery, but you can't push. You just need to work a little more to get her here," Dr. Kavira told her calmly.

A.J. clenched Skye's hand again. "Come on, Skye. Stay with me. You have just a little bit more to go, and then you're done."

"I can't," Skye whispered.

"Yes, you can, Skye. If not for me, and not for your baby, then do it for Jax, Skye. Do it for him. You owe him that much. You owe him at least a much to bring his baby into this world after all you've done to get it to the point where she could make her entrance. Do it for him, Skye. Do it for Jax," A.J. told her.

Skye in-took a sharp breath. Biting on her lips, she nodded her head at A.J. Through ragged breaths, she said, "You... are... a... manipulative bastard!"

A.J. smiled.

Taking a deep breath, A.J. had indeed called out the one thing that could have made Skye not give up. Focusing on the mental picture of Jax in her mind, she concentrated on the image on his blue eyes in her brain. Following the instructions of the doctor, Skye fought against the urge to push, but couldn't help it – just once… just one push would surely alleviate some of the pain?

She screamed in pain as something inside her ripped. Pain began to cloud her mind, washing over the image of Jax she had in her mind. The words she heard coming to her ears were foggy at best. She could only hear bits and pieces of the words being shouted around the room - some at her, some at others.

"Skye, stop pushing!"

"...a blood vessel is ruptured..."

"Have to get her into the operating room..."

"... she's hemorrhaging, type and cross match..."

"I'm losing her!"

"We have sixty seconds to get this baby out of her now, people!"

"... the baby's fine, but the mother is in distress..."

"Skye, stay with me!"

"Code blue..."

Fading out, slowly, at last Skye felt no more pain. When she came to again, the first thing of which she was aware was the bright light that was assaulting her eyes. Squinting her eyes against the unwelcome onslaught of brightness, Skye opened them slowly as she became accustomed to the overhead light shining in her face. Realizing she was no longer in her room but in another part of the hospital, even in her groggy state, Skye could tell she was in an operating room.

The words of those around her became much more clear.

"I need a clamp. No, I can see the placenta. She's losing too much blood here..."

"Dr. Kavira, the patient's waking up," a nurse called.

The doctor smiled. "Good. Good. She's just in time to meet her..."

Looking up, the doctor said, "Someone go tell her brother. He's in the nursery with the baby." Kavira then looked up at Skye as her eyes started to roll back in her head, and he tempted her, "Stay with us, Skye, we're almost done and then it'll be time to meet your daughter, Skye."

The drugs still making her head fuzzy, Skye couldn't do much but smile. She mumbled to no one in particular, "A girl. Jax, I was right. It's a baby girl."

She was silent before she smiled again. "A daughter. Your little girl. Our daughter. I did it, Jax. I did it."

Fading out again, Skye welcomed the unconscious. When she came to again, she was back in her room. This time, her head didn't feel as if cotton balls were packed tight all around it. Her throat felt dry and scratchy as she turned her head. She smiled weakly as she saw A.J. looking at her.

"Hey," she whispered.

A.J. smiled. "I was wondering when you were going to wake up. How do you feel?"

Skye blinked once and then said, "Tired. And sore. What happened?"

A.J. reached forward a pushed a strand of hair out of Skye's eyes. "The baby's placenta ruptured one of the blood vessels in your abdominal cavity, Skye. You were bleeding out, and the doctor had to get the baby out of you. So they had to do an emergency surgery. The did a caesarian section on you right in the room to get the baby out in time."

"She?" Skye whispered.

A.J. nodded with a smile. "Yeah, sweetie. It's a girl. You have a beautiful baby girl."

"Is she okay?" Skye asked.

Nodding, A.J. said, "She's perfect, Skye. She's right here if you want to hold her,"

"No," Skye shook her head as she turned from A.J.

"No?"

"No," Skye whispered. "I know what Dr. Kavira told me would happen if I carried her to term. He was right, wasn't he?"

Reluctantly, A.J. nodded. "He was. I just didn't want you to have to think about that now."

"It's better if I don't hold her, A.J. I won't be able to let go," Skye said softly.

A.J. was silent for a moment. He then nodded his head slowly. "All right. If you think that's best."

Skye nodded. She then smiled softly. "What does she look like, A.J.?"

He grinned. "She has your hair, Skye. Little auburn curls already. And her eyes. They are the most amazing blue eyes."

"Jax," Skye whispered. "She has his eyes, doesn't she?"

Again, A.J. nodded his head slowly. However, instead of dwelling on a topic he knew would give his sister pain, he smiled, "She needs a name, Skye. Right now they are just calling her Baby Girl Quartermaine. They asked for one, but I didn't want to tell them until I asked you. Do you still want to name her Jayna?"

Skye swallowed and then shook her head. "No, Jayna is dead and buried, A.J. Her name is..."

Looking up around her, Skye smiled. "Sydney."

"Sydney?"

"Yeah, Sydney. She's a miracle, A.J. She was created and born here. I always want her to know that and never forget it," Skye said.

"All right," A.J. said softly. "Sydney Quartermaine."

"No," Skye said softly.

"What?" A.J. asked in confusion.

"Her birth certificate. I want her name to be listed as Jacks, A.J. Sydney Jacks. Sydney Jayna Jacks," Skye said softly. "I owe him that much at least."

"All right, Skye. It's your choice," A.J. said softly. Bending down to kiss her, Skye smiled.

Indeed, it was with a smile that Skye looked back down on Carly as she came back to the present.

Carly nodded at her. "You know, Skye... about Sydney. A.J. and I talked about it before all of... this." Carly rubbed her hand softly over her stomach as she indicated what she was talking about. "We know that when you gave us Sydney it was for keeps, but we both agreed. You should be a part of her life. You're her real mother. And as hard as that will be for both of us... we agreed that she should be with you."

Smiling softly, Skye nodded at Carly. "Carly, all those months after I left Jax and you and A.J. helped me through the procedure, and then the pregnancy... I thought I was going to die. I knew even if I could carry her to term, the damage from the original car accident had injured my kidneys so badly that I would be at risk for kidney failure given the stress of the pregnancy. And when I woke up, and A.J. confirmed that Dr. Kavira said that one of them was so badly damaged that I would have to have an operation to remove it, and stay on dialysis and bed rest for months on the slim chance I might heal, I thought it better if Sydney stayed with a mother and father who loved her and wouldn't leave her. That's why I gave her to you. I didn't want her to get to know a mother who might die before her first birthday."

"I know, Skye. But the dialysis and medications worked better than anyone could have ever thought. That's why they let you out of the hospital, isn't it? That's why they let you go home, isn't it?" Carly asked softly.

Skye shook her head. "I *am* doing better, Carly, but there is no promises. That is why I don't think I can take care of Sydney even now," Skye said.

Turning around, she looked out the window. Carly watched in silence for a moment before she posed a question. "Then what are you going to do?" Carly asked at last.

Softly, Skye said, "What I should have done from the beginning."

Skye smiled as she turned around and nodded at Carly. "You sure you are going to be okay?"

Carly nodded.

"All right, then. I'll be back in the morning when A.J. brings you home."

Skye bent down and gave Carly a quick kiss good-bye.

Saying good-bye to A.J., Skye got in her car. Heading back towards the house, Skye was amazed at how quickly she made it home. Putting the parking break up, Skye took a breath and nodded to herself. "It's now or never," Skye said softly.

Getting out of the car, Skye clutched her purse tightly to her. Entering the house, she began to climb the stairs. As if by instinct, she knew where Jax would be. Pushing the door to her bedroom open, she saw Jax with his back to her. Holding his daughter against his shoulder, he stood at the open doors to the terrace staring at the evening beauty of the twinkling stars and shining moon.

Jax sensed Skye's presence before she was completely there. However, he didn't turn as she moved forward. Setting her purse down on a chair, she kicked off her heels. Moving softly across the wooden floor, Skye came slowly up behind Jax. Placing her arms around his waist, she hugged him tightly, the need for words between the two not present as their bodies and emotions said all they ever had need to say between them and more.

-TBC-