Tucker blinked her eyes and moaned. She felt something down her throat and suddenly she couldn't breathe. She started to panic and reach to rip out whatever was down her throat. She felt someone grab her hands and hold them tight in theirs. She looked up and saw Reid there looking down at her concern on his face.
"You have a tube down your throat to breathe. Relax, Tucker. I called the nurse and they'll be coming soon to remove it," he told her softly.
Tucker nodded gently and tried to relax. She held Reid's hand tight in hers and looked into his eyes. He talked to her softly telling her all about the statistics she had overcome by living and surviving her father stabbing her. She didn't care what he was saying just that he was there and he was alive. She reluctantly let go when the doctor and nurses came. She watched as he stood off in the corner still watching her.
Reid watched as the doctor removed the tube to help Tucker breathe. He didn't like the fact that she was still so pale but he was glad that she was awake. The doctor had told him she might not wake up for hours but he had just been by her side for three and she was awake. He stepped back when the doctor and nurses left. Tucker was slowly sipping a cup of water. He looked at her and she reached out for him immediately. He took her hand and sat on the side of the bed and gently pulled her in his arms.
Tucker set her cup of water aside and rested her head on Reid's shoulder. She felt his chest rise and fall against hers and it brought her so much relief. She was glad that he was alright. She pulled away and looked at him feeling tears roll down her cheeks. She smiled when Reid kissed her softly. She kissed him back and then pulled away wiping away her tears. She held his hand tight in one hand though never letting it go.
"Are you okay?" she asked her voice cracking.
"I'm fine. You were the one that he stabbed," Reid said softly.
"Better me then you."
Reid reached out and gently tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. He saw the look on her face and knew that she truly believed that she was worthless. He leaned in and kissed her softly on the cheek tasting her tears. He turned and kissed her softly again. He needed to let her know that she wasn't worthless and that she had worth to him. He needed her with him and he wanted her to know that this wasn't her fault. All those deaths that her father had caused weren't her fault.
"It shouldn't have been you, Tuck. I should have protected you better. I know that you feel like all those deaths are your fault but they aren't. He would have done them anyway," Reid whispered in her ear feeling her squeeze his hand tighter in hers. He held on to her tight knowing she needed him.
"Did I kill him, Spence? Is it over?" she whispered softly her voice filled with pain and fear. She closed her eyes and waited. She couldn't deal with it if her father was still alive. She knew that the only way to stop him was to kill him. He was pure evil and she needed to erase him from the earth. She needed to protect Reid.
"He's dead, Tucker. He is dead and can't hurt anyone again. He can't hurt you ever again."
Tucker nodded more tears falling, "I couldn't risk him hurting you again. I," Tucker sighed, "I have never loved someone like I love you and I needed to protect that; protect you. I needed to kill him."
"I know. I never wanted you to know the guilt though of taking someone's life."
"He was a monster."
"He was your father."
Tucker felt more tears fall. She never wanted to admit it to Reid but part of her had always loved her father. He had never hit her, touched her inappropriately; he had loved her. Granted he had loved her in his own twisted crazy way, but he had loved her. She had spent years trying to tell herself she hated him but part of her was still that little girl wanting her father to love her the way other fathers loved their daughters. She remembered praying for years for her father to get better and that they could be normal. She closed her eyes and rested her head on Reid's shoulder. Her cheek touched the soft fabric of his sweater vest and she held him tighter. She didn't think she could ever tell him how she felt. No matter how much she loved him; there were somethings she knew she could never share with him.
"It doesn't matter," she countered feeling Reid kiss her temple.
"It matters, Tuck. You know that I study these things and-."
"Spencer, stop. Please, just not right now."
Reid held her closer and nodded. He kissed her on the head again and just held her tight in his arms. He knew that she needed him to just hold her in his arms and not ask questions or talk. She just needed him there with her. He held her tighter and knew he would do whatever she needed him to do for her. He loved her and knew that he would do anything for her. He just wished that she would let him more. He could help her but only if she let him.
Reid looked at Morgan not quite understanding what the other man was telling him. He had arrived at the hospital to visit Tucker and Morgan had been waiting for him. It had only been a couple of days since Tucker had woken up and Reid knew that Morgan had waited as long as he could but now the time had come and Morgan was finally going to tell Reid what he knew. Morgan had then told him everything about Clayton that Garcia had found out; including the fact that Tucker's mother had been Clayton's half-sister. Reid ran a hand over his face and shook his head again.
"Clayton and his sister are Tucker's parents?" he asked softly.
"Yeah, they are. I thought you should know first before we tell Tucker."
"What? You can't tell Tucker."
"Reid, she has the right to know. I know that you want to protect her, but lying to her isn't the way to do it. She will want to know what we have found. After all this, don't you think she deserves to know?"
Reid sighed and knew that Morgan had a point. Tucker deserved to know the truth after everything that had happened to her. He looked at Morgan and nodded. "You're right, she deserves to know. I'll tell her," he answered softly knowing that if it came from him, Tucker might accept the information better.
"I think that would be best. I got to go. JJ scheduled a press conference and everything," Morgan said dreading it already.
"I am sure all the female reporters will be putty in your hands."
"God, I hope so because I have no idea what to say."
Reid smiled and watched as Morgan walked away. He turned and looked at Tucker's hospital room door and knew that he had to go tell her now. He slowly walked over to the door and knocked. He heard Tucker invite him in. He pushed open the door and smiled when he saw her sitting there reading a book. She looked up at him and gave him a soft smile.
"Hey, I was expecting you earlier," she said placing her book aside and making room on the bed for him. She took his hand when he sat beside her on the bed.
"I ran into Morgan. He told me they found some things out about your parents."
Tucker sighed and nodded. She let Reid pull her in his arms. She knew that whatever Morgan had found probably wouldn't be good news but she knew that needed to hear it. She rested her head on Reid's chest and listened to his heart beat. She felt him hold her close and knew that it was hard for him to tell her what he needed to.
"What did he find out?" she asked.
"Your mother, Karen, she was... She was Clayton's half sister," Reid told her holding her close.
Reid felt Tucker's body go still. She then pulled away from him and sat up in the bed looking straight at the wall. Reid saw her shoulders start to move and then heard her sobs. Reid wrapped his arm around her again and held on even when she fought him.
"How could he do that to her?" she demanded finally letting Reid hold her close.
"I don't know, Tuck, I really don't. It isn't your fault," he whispered to her.
"Yes, it is. She stayed with him because of me. All those years she stayed... God, what she must have been through."
"Tucker, one good thing came from all of that pain."
"What?" Tucker asked pulling away and wiping her tears away.
"You. I am sure if Karen was here now, she would tell you that you were worth it."
"What if I'm not? What if..."
"What, Tuck?"
Tucker shook her head and rested her head on Reid's shoulder again. She didn't want to ask that question or even bring it up. She knew that Reid would assure her over and over she wasn't like her father but she wasn't so sure. She felt Reid's arms come around her and she closed her eyes and let more tears fall. She didn't want to talk anymore about what had happened with her mother and father. She felt pain inside of her about what her mother had been through but she did what she had always did and that was bury it inside of her and try to forget about it. She knew that one day she wouldn't be able to push it aside anymore but she just wanted to think about it at the moment. She especially didn't want to think or talk about it with Reid. He had already heard too much about what had happened in her life. She was hoping that maybe now her and Reid could focus on whatever the future might hold for them as a couple.