Hopefully this chapter answers (however cryptically) a few questions that have being hanging around (looking at you PersianPianist ;). )
Thanks again for your lovely reviews! And to blossoming art: So, glad you're enjoying this story so much. And I hope I'll be back soon. :)
O
Chapter Five: Seen and Unseen
…...oOo...
Severus, once again, was suffering from no small amount of shock.
Potter had looked at him, focused right on him, but could not see him.
Surely he could see him... Potter must have just thought he imagined it. He didn't seem all too stable at the moment...
There was nothing for it.
"Potter." he called, as he had earlier. Potter twitched, but did nothing more than raise a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose and groan.
"Potter...-" another twitch, "-look at me."
On those last words, the boy flinched as if he'd been struck, looking around him in a wide-eye shock, but still did not seem to be able to see him.
What the hell was going on? Was he a ghost or not? Or was all of this some kind of backwards brain-sick fantasy that was playing out in his ostensibly unsound mind?
Potter stood from his curled up position on the floor, suddenly looking a little murderous.
"Peeves!" he snapped, to the air, "If that's you; knock it off. It's not funny..."
Oh, wonderful. First he managed to make the boy think he was insane, now his presence had been put down to Peeves the bloody Poltergeist on a prank.
"Really, Potter, do I sound like Peeves to you?"
Potter skittered, a nervy little dance on his toes, and turned, bracing himself against the wall with one hand and squinting in Severus' vague direction with wild eyes.
"Who are you then?" he paused, "Bloody Baron?"
Severus rolled his eyes, not that Potter saw it, "No... is my voice not familiar enough for you?"
A part of him was reproving his want to mess with the boy when he was so obviously out-of-sorts, especially considering his earlier regret of treating the boy as he had all those years, for assuming the boy was his father over again, but he couldn't quite resist the open possibility for theatrics in this current situation. It allowed him to secure a little bit of control over something, in a time where he had no control over anything.
As they say; old habits die hard. Even in death, apparently.
Potter was shaking his head, "No. You sound like you're miles away. All- I dunno... echo-y? and stuff..."
"Such eloquence."
Still, Severus thought, how interesting. Because Severus' voice sounded completely normal to his own ears.
Maybe he had to allow people to see him? He'd always assumed the ghosts of Hogwarts had the ability to become invisible, but possibly it was the other way around; perhaps they were always invisible, and had to make the themselves visible to others. Now, how to do that...
Potter was walking towards him, squinting and looking around the edges of the hall like he expected him to be hiding in a corner.
"Potter, keep walking and you will walk straight through me." he warned, and Potter stopped, frozen, head tilting to one side.
"Say that again." the boy asked.
"I'm not in the habit of repeating myself, Potter."
"... Snape?"
"Still lacking all decorum, I see. Where is my 'sir'?" Severus sighed, "Indeed. It is I."
To that, Potter brought both of his hands flying up to his face with a resounding smack and a groan.
What a curious reaction.
"Oh, god," Potter whimpered, voice muffled by his hands, "Oh god oh god oh god... I really have gone round the bend, haven't I... no, no, this is all a dream. Has to be."
"What am I, then?" Severus sneered, "Your fairy godmother?"
"A figment of my imagination."
Severus scoffed, "Well, if that is true, then I assure you that this 'figment' takes offense to your imagination, or lack thereof, if this is the best it could come up with."
"You always said I had no talent."
"Yes, and you never bothered to prove me wrong."
Potter did not reply, just shook his head as if he could shake Severus' voice out of his ears by force.
Well, this was going swimmingly. Severus debated with himself the best way to convince the boy of his existence. If he told him outright that he was ghost, he probably wouldn't believe it and put it down to his own imagination, as he seemed want to do at this moment. No, it was best to lead him to the answer and let him think of it on his own... and hopefully he wouldn't put that down to insanity as well.
"Apparently, I was still giving you too much credit with that assessment. Because you obviously lack all discernible ability to tell fantasy apart from reality, or draw from your past experiences with the dead and apply it to the present to understand why you are currently talking to thin air. Use your head, Potter!"
Slowly, Potter splayed his fingers and peeked out through the gaps between them, scanning the air for the still invisible Severus.
"You're a ghost...?" Potter questioned, softly, unbelieving.
Thank Merlin for that!
"It seems that way. Yes."
The boy lowered his hands, looking stricken, "But... but why?"
"Believe me when I say that I have been asking myself the same question."
Potter's shoulder slumped, and he moved to lean back against the wall. Unseeing eyes flicking back and forth as he seemingly mulled something over in his mind. Severus waited with faint trace of annoyance, and he noted that tapping his toe did not have the satisfying click it used to.
After a moment, the boy apparently decided on something, and lifted his gaze once more with a resolute determination, scanning the air around him looking for something out of place there that could have been Severus, which he quickly ceased, with an edge of annoyance creeping into his expression, and fixed his focus on a crack in the stone-work on the opposite wall.
"If you're a ghost... if this is real... why can't I see you?"
Good question... Severus still had to work on that little problem.
"You have no idea, do you?" said Potter, one corner of his mouth turning up in a slight smirk.
"I do have an idea, thank you very much!" Severus snapped, slightly affronted by how closely the boy hit home, "I just... have not figured out how to put my theory into to practice as of yet... " he paused, "You changed your tune quickly enough. What happened to your pleadings of insanity? I thought I was only a figment-" he spat the word with disdain, "-of your imagination."
Potter shrugged, "Whether I'm sane or not, there's not much point in denying this is happening, is there?
"... you overcame your denial quickly too."
"You learn to deal with stuff fast when you're running across the country with Voldemort and his lackeys snapping at your heels." he shrugged again, "It works for me."
"And what if you are merely allowing yourself to slip further into insanity by accepting this as reality?"
"If I'm already this far-gone, then I won't know any better, will I?" Potter snorted, "I'll just be packed-off to St. Mungo's that much faster for the help I need- after people notice me talking to the walls, that is..."
Severus couldn't really find fault with that rationalization.
"I don't understand, though," Potter continued, stepping away from the wall again, "Why do you sound all-"
"-'Echo-y'?" Severus offered, with a good helping of sarcasm on the side.
"Yeah that." the boy answered, eyes narrowing in annoyance again, "Where are you? I can't tell by your voice; it's kinda... everywhere and nowhere. Can you project it into my head or something?"
"I said before that you would walk through me if you did not stop. I have not moved." It was true he hadn't moved an inch, and Potter had stopped with a few feet still between them. "And if I am projecting my words directly into your mind, I am not doing so by choice. I hear no difference between my voice as it is now and as it was... before. I am not trying to change that."
"Odd..." Potter murmured, reaching his hands out in front of him and walking forward, squinting again.
Severus stepped back, "What are you doing, Potter?"
"What do you think I'm doing, sir?" said the boy, the corners of his mouth twitching up, "If I can't see you-"
"-it does not mean you can feel me." Severus finished, cutting across him, just as Potter's fingertips almost brushed his chest, "Now stop it, you look like a fool under a botched Imperius-" Severus paused, a shadow at the end of the hall catching his eye, "-and we have company."
Sure enough, Ronald Weasley turned the corner into the hall, and Potter turned to face him.
But, as he turned, he let his arm swing out, just enough for his fingers to pass shallowly through Severus' chest.
The boy didn't appear to notice the touch, but Severus certainly did, because that inexplicable heat he had felt at Potter's touch in the Hospital Wing –when he had touched his flesh-and-blood hands– returned with vengeance, and spread through him like wildfire.
Whatever happened to ghosts not being able to feel?
He could swear he almost felt his heart beat as the heat spread through that space in his being.
But that couldn't be possible... could it?
oOo
Harry did notice the particularly chilly bite through his fingers as whipped around to face Ron, but there was little he could say at that moment. And Ron obviously couldn't see anyone other than Harry as he approached, else he would have been shouting long before he called-out "Harry!" and jogged down the hallway.
So, it wasn't just Harry that couldn't see Snape. That cleared that up... still...
Not the greatest timing, Ron...Harry thought. He must look like a mess, considering he'd been sobbing his heart out for a life's worth of hurt not ten minutes before and had been talking to air ever since, whilst doubting his mental capacity yet still determinately trying to be open-minded and treat the invisible Snape like he was not the figment of his imagination he had referred to him as initially, on the off-chance it was not all a psychotic fantasy.
And Ron not being able to see the man either was not raising Harry's self-assurance in his own mental stability.
When he reached Harry, Ron looked him up and down, then in the eye, and said;
"You look like crap, mate."
"Ah, tactless as ever, Weasley." Snape murmured, his voice echoing in Harry ears, but, strangely, not nearly so much as it had before...
Harry braced himself for Ron's confused gawk, or panicked shout, or wide-eyed shock- any kind of reaction, really...
But nothing happened.
Harry gawked at him.
"Er..." Ron hesitated, "Sorry? Do you want me to say you look fine?"
It took Harry a moment to catch what his friend was talking about, "What? No. You're right; I do..." he waved his hand in a 'forget it' kind of way, "Didn't you hear that just now?"
"No... hear what?"
"I don't think he can hear me, Potter." said Snape, then sighed and said softly; "The chosen one again."
Harry wouldn't have it.
"That!" he said, smiling at Ron encouragingly, "Can't you hear that voice?"
Ron was looking deeply concerned now, "No, Harry. I can't hear anything..." he paused, hesitating again, "You remember what happened the last time you heard voices, don't you...?"
Of course he did, how could the bloody great snake that had damn-near killed him?
"I know. But it's not that- not a snake, I mean. It's-"
"Potter." Snape cut-in, a warning, "I think you should leave it be..."
"But-"
"Trust me!"
Ron reached out his hand for Harry and caught his shoulder in a tight hold, "Come-on, mate..." he said, in a forced tone of soothing, "Let's go back downstairs. Might see if dad has some of old Ogden's we can pinch a swig of, eh?"
He obviously thought Harry was going a bit barmy.
"Stay silent about this for now, Potter. I think it may be the best course of action." said Snape, as Ron started pulling Harry away, "Until I can figure out how to make myself known to others..."
Harry had the distinct impression that Snape's voice was coming from behind him now, where as before it had really sounded as if his voice was only inside his head. Why had it changed?
He took a quick glance back over his shoulder, in the direction of the man's voice, and stopped, pulling-up Ron as well...
Because Snape really was standing there now. Harry could see him – black cloak and all! Feet not-quite touching the floor, slightly translucent and looking at Harry with an odd, calculating expression that quickly dissolved into one of confusion when he noted – what must have been – Harry's shocked face.
The man cocked his head to one side and Harry nodded in return.
Snape's eyebrows shot up.
"Come on, Harry." said Ron, pulling Harry along more forcefully, down the hall, forcing Harry to look away.
What on earth had changed?
oOo
It must be his touch, Severus decided, as Weasley dragged a dumbstruck Potter away.
He could not confirm it as a true fact just yet, but it was a rather simple conclusion to come to.
Potter had now touched him twice, once with his physical body and once with his bodiless one, both times he had experienced that bizarre heat that coursed through his entire being, starting from the point of contact, and with both instances something crucial had happened within moments of its occurrence.
What would happen if he touched Severus again? Would others then be able to see him? Hear him?
Severus pondered for a moment whether he should follow Potter up the hall and just stick his arm through the boy to see what would happen, but thought better of it, because if Severus cause the same effect any other ghost made on a living being – that chill – then Potter's reaction without warning would undoubtedly make Weasley cart Potter off to a loony-bin, as he already seemed want to do.
No, he could wait. Later, when Potter was alone again, he would find out for certain if his theory was correct.
What to do for the time-being, though?
Severus was running through possibilities for his free-time as he watched Weasley and Potter round the corner at the end of the hall when he was suddenly jerked forwards and continued to slide along through the air against his volition, in much the same way as he had when he had first been pulled from his body.
What the hell-?
He attempted to pull away from the force the dragged him, but could not release himself from it as he continued to float along the hallway, slowly loosing elevation until his feet reached the floor and he started sinking through the stone.
But as the persistent pull forced him downwards, the further it moved him along the hall and through the floor, another feeling rose up inside. A desperate sense of loss welling up within him, and an awareness that he was forgetting something important. It poked and prodded at his consciousness, telling him that that something was being left behind...
Severus looked back.
The second pull was drawing him back to the Hospital Wing – back to his body.
But, with nothing seeming to free him from the more controlling pull that moved him further and further away, there was little he could, and instead of continuing to oppose it; he embraced it, allowing it to take him wherever it was trying to take him.
With a swift jerk, and a feeling that he could only compare to skipping a heartbeat, he slid downwards and away.
Severus slowed again when he passed through into the room below – the entry hall – just in time to watch Potter walk into the Great Hall with the youngest Weasley boy still hanging onto his shoulder, before the insistent pull forced him along after the pair.
The realization about the explanation for it formed far too easily.
Severus swore.
Could he not be allowed even a little free space? Any choice at all?
It looked like he was tied to Potter more profoundly than he had imagined.
Well, that answers the question of what to do to fill my time... There was little point in making plans; He would be following Potter around until he figured out how to break the link.
With a bit of luck, his theory about Potter's touch would solve the issue, as it had solved the others- to an extent, at least.
He could wait...
…..oOo...
O
Hoping to get one more chapter up tomorrow before I disappear for a week, but I'm not sure about my check-in time at the hospital (I have a pre-op appointment tomorrow and they might check me in then.), still, fingers-crossed! Wish me luck.
