Beyond Repair
By: Lesera128
Rated: M
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am just playing in someone else's sandbox….
Summary: Secrets abound as Skye reluctantly returns to Australia at AJ's behest despite the fact its where her marriage to Jax ended in disaster the previous year. AU. Skye/Jax. SAX.
A/N: I am reposting some of the older works that I have saved on my harddrive. Old-time SAX fans may remember this story. It was originally posted under my other penname [MuseofJaynor] at the Skye messageboard fan fiction archive. Many people already know this, but in case you were wondering, yeah, that was me.
"What is the date today?" Skye asked when the nurse came in with her medicine.
The nurse looked at her watch and then back to Skye, "The sixteenth. Why? I thought you hated anything having to do with time."
Skye closed her eyes as she smiled. She let out a long breath before she responded. "I do. But some dates are too important to forget."
Opening her eyes, she slowly turned her head to the window. Nodding, she inhaled the scent of pine and honeysuckle... comforting smells that served to remind her of the past and the reasons that had brought her here in the first place.
Almost six months ago to the day, Skye had arrived back in the States from her trip to Sydney. The phone call that had separated her from Jax and her daughter had come at the most inopportune of times. Yet, if there was one thing that Skye was, it was dutiful and loyal. And, so it was out of that sense of duty and loyalty that Skye had come to this remote place in the picturesque woods of upstate Pennsylvania. Tucked away in the natural serenity of this beautiful place, Skye came with her head held high and a determined look on her face that she would do what she must…but, only that… that and no more.
The memory of the day she had first seen him plagued her mind. Entering the cheerful private medical facility, Skye's hands tightened the grasp she had on the bunch of daisies she had brought for him. Unlike roses, which he detested, he liked daisies. He said they reminded him of home. Not Pine Valley... that had never really been home to him. No, home was always Pigeon Hollow. The one place in the world where he had been happy and carefree before the harsh realities of the world had carved him into the ruthless businessman that Skye Chandler-Quartermaine remembered the man whom had raised her as - the man whom Skye still thought of as "Daddy" despite her efforts to form a relationship with her biological father, Alan Quartermaine - *that* place was Pigeon Hollow… not Pine Valley.
"Ms. Chandler?" a pleasant, but concerned voice called as Skye entered the main lobby of the medical center.
Somewhat unused to not hearing the 'Quartermaine' part added onto her name, Skye stopped for a moment before she turned and faced the direction from which she had heard the voice calling her. Focusing on the face of a pleasant young woman who looked to be in her mid-to-late twenties, Skye nodded. She stepped forward and extended her hand to the nurse with short brown hair and soft, doe-brown eyes.
"Yes, I'm Skye Chandler..." Skye had to stop herself again from adding the 'Quartermaine' part to her name. If she were any other place, coming to see any other person, she wouldn't have hesitated in the slightest. But, somehow, for some reason it just didn't seem appropriate here.
The nurse stood and took Skye hand. Shaking it, she said, "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Miranda. I've been working as the coordinating nurse on your father's case. We've been expecting you, and I figured I would wait to meet you myself in case you had any questions you wanted to ask before you saw him."
"How is he?" Skye asked as her hand was dropped by the nurse who reached for a chart.
Looking at it, the nurse said, "Well, considering the circumstances, he's doing remarkably well."
Skye shook her head. "You'll have to forgive me..." Skye struggled to recall the name the nurse had given her.
The nurse merely smiled as she supplied the name when she said, "Miranda."
Skye smiled. "Yes, Miranda. Forgive me, but I'm not sure if you are aware of the fact that I'm not very close with my... my father. We haven't spoken in well over two years, and so I know absolutely nothing about his illness. To be blatantly honest, I wouldn't even be here if my Uncle Stuart hadn't of called me and begged me to come. And, if it had been any one else besides Uncle Stuart, I can definitely tell you that I wouldn't be standing here in front of you right now."
Miranda smiled softly. "Yes, Mr. Chandler is a rather persuasive man... much different than you father in the ways he get what he wants, so much more kind and sweet and understanding…. But a bit ruthless himself when he is trying to get what he wants, don't you think?"
"You know my Uncle Stuart?" Skye questioned.
The nurse nodded. "Oh, yes. Very well. He spends at least half the week here with his brother. I've never seen a more devoted person."
This time it was Skye's turn to smile as she said, "Yes, Uncle Stuart is a very devoted person. No matter how horrible a person you are to him, he's always there for you with that gentle smile of his and a kind word."
"He *is* rather amazing," Miranda agreed. "I can see why your father relies so much on him."
"Yes, my father..." Skye let the words roll of her tongue.
Miranda nodded. "Of course. Well, the doctors who are treating his case are most likely going to go into this with detail with you, but I'll tell you what I can."
"I'd appreciate that very much," Skye said.
Miranda nodded once more as she in-took a deep breath and began. "Your father was diagnosed with the disease approximately 18 months ago. He was treated for a mild attack at the outset which was what alerted his doctors to identifying the disease and making the proper diagnosis. Your father was treated, and because the initial attack was so mild, he went into remission. But, approximately four months ago, Mr. Chandler had a relapse. Further tests indicated that the disease had returned and worsened in the time between the first attack and the second. Since then, he has been progressively getting worse… despite our best efforts to treat him."
"What are you telling me, Miranda?" Skye questioned as her eyes narrowed.
Miranda spoke softly as she said, "Your father is dying, Ms. Chandler. And we don't expect him to live to see the end of the year."
And those words had proven prophetic. The mighty Adam Chandler was indeed dying, fading away a little more each day. Everyone had known that and been given time to come to terms with that. However, what no one had expected or been prepared for was Skye's illness returning. The onset of kidney failure had started due to the complications caused by the drugs she had taken so that her daughter would be safely carried to term. The first time that Skye had passed out, giving people that there was an indication that something was wrong with her, the truth had come out. Skye was dying and probably wouldn't outlive her father. And while Skye had told Adam this much, she had kept the cause of it a secret. Adam Chandler was still blissfully aware that Skye had a daughter, safe and sound with Jax in Port Charles. And, Skye intended to keep it that way as long as possible. Adam would *not* have Sydney. Skye would kill before she allowed that to happen.
As the nurse stared at her pondering Skye's earlier comments, she quirked an eyebrow at her. "What's so important about the sixteenth, Skye?" Miranda asked.
Skye smiled, her decision made up. She would not tell Adam about Sydney, but perhaps by telling someone else… there might… might be some way for her to get closer to her child with news… and, if necessary… a proper goodbye.
Looking at the nurse, Skye said, "I'll tell you on one condition, Miranda. You have to promise me that you'll do me a favor as soon as I tell you why June 16th is such an important day to me, and above all else, you must not speak of this to anyone else... especially not my father."
Miranda stared at Skye with interest, not quite sure of what to make of her words. They seemed intriguing, tempting, tantalizing even…. If nothing else, they served to reinforce the fact to Miranda that Skye was an incredible woman... one that while even on her death bed, she still had the strength of character and mind to be able to keep secrets from her father. Her curiosity at last getting the better of her, Miranda nodded and came closer to Skye. Sitting down in the chair next to her bed, Miranda leaned in so that Skye would not have to use too much of her energy in the telling of her tale.
Nodding her head once more, Miranda said, "All right, Skye, I promise I'll help you if I possibly can."
"And you'll keep my secret no matter what?" Skye pleaded.
Something had come into her eyes, something as close to what Miranda could call desperation in the eyes of normal people. Slowing nodding, Miranda said, "Yes. I promise I'll keep your secret."
"All right then," Skye said. Taking a small breath, she tried to figure the best way to tell Miranda her story. Deciding that the direct approach was probably the best route, Skye said simply, "The reason that June 16th is such a special day for me is because it is an anniversary, Miranda."
"What kind of anniversary?" Miranda prodded. "One that has to do with Jax?"
Skye flinched at the mention of her lover's name. But she nodded slowly as she said, "In a way, yes, I suppose…. The event that the 16th is an anniversary for would never have occurred without him."
"What is it, Skye?"
"June 16th..." her voice trailed off as Skye realized that of the 365 days that her daughter had been alive, Skye had only seen her for a total of five of those days. It pained her to think of how much she had missed already, and more importantly, how much she might really miss in the future if this was it… and Skye was indeed dying.
"The 16th, Skye?" Miranda prodded again, bringing Skye's meandering thoughts back to the present.
Smiling a weak smile, Skye said softly, "June 16th is the day that Sydney was born, Miranda."
"And who is Sydney?" Miranda asked, comprehension not dawning.
Skye smiled once more as she said, "Sydney is my baby, Miranda. She was born one year ago today."
Shock was evident on her face as Miranda suddenly grasped what she had been told. "You have a child?"
"Yes. Sydney is my daughter."
Regret and a trace of the pain she was feeling evident in her voice, Miranda then asked, "And Jax is her father."
Skye nodded.
"She's why you are in this bed, isn't it, Skye?" Miranda said as she grasped the enormity of what Skye was telling her.
Again, Skye nodded.
"I've looked at your records many times, and I've never understood why injuries you suffered from a car accident over fifteen years ago would be the cause of kidney failure *now*. It made no sense, but you were so weak, that no one bothered to question it. Not even Mr. Chandler. But, a pregnancy... it makes perfect sense. It all makes sense now," Miranda told her.
Sighing, Skye said, "I had to keep it a secret, Miranda. And, I am trusting *you* to keep that secret."
"Why?" Miranda asked.
Skye bit her lip before she said, "If my father knew that I had a child, he would stop at nothing to get her into his possession. I love my father deeply, but one of his best virtues and many faults is that family is everything to him."
"But I thought you weren't his blood child. Weren't you adopted?" Miranda asked.
Nodding, Skye said, "Yes, I was. But, to my father, that doesn't matter. I have the Chandler name. I was raised as a Chandler. And that's all that matters to him. In his mind, I am just as much his child as his daughters Hayley and Colby or his son JR. And if he knew I was dead and had a child, he would do anything and everything he could to get her into his possession. Even if Sydney were happy right where she was with... with her father."
"You mean she's with Jax?"
Skye nodded once more before she added, "And that's the best place, Miranda. If I could only tell you how wonderful a man he is… he's really quite an extraordinary man..."
Anger flared slightly as Miranda said, "How can you say that about him?"
"Say what?" Skye asked.
"Say good things about him... defend him… after all he's done to you?" Miranda asked.
Shrugging, Skye said, "Jax has hurt me, yes. But, I've hurt him, too, Miranda. God, if you only knew how much I had hurt him. I guess it's…it's just the way we are. We hurt each other, but we love each other, and that's what holds us together. Or, at least, I thought it did. He may not still love me, but I'll never stop loving him. And even if I didn't care about him anymore, the best place for Sydney is with her father... not mine."
Swallowing the lump that had suddenly caught in her throat, Miranda asked Skye, "What do you want me to do?"
Smiling, Skye said, "I have to see her one last time, Miranda. And since I can't trust Jax to bring her, there's only one other person that I can count on since my brother A.J. and his wife Carly are still out of the country. I need you to call her for me and see if she'll bring my daughter to me."
Meanwhile, Rae sat holding a cup of coffee. It was warm and in a white Styrofoam cup – appropriate really… it felt right… just as any cup of coffee purchased from the vending machine of a hospital waiting room should be. She took a sip, but barely tasted anything as the bitter liquid slid down the back of her throat.
Glancing over at Jax, haggard-looking as she had never seen him before with his eyes closed and his head in his hands, she would have felt her heart breaking had a dull aching numbness not clenched around it already.
Muttering to herself, Rae said softly, "Oh, Skye, where are you?"
And, as if by prophecy, suddenly Rae's cell phone started ringing.
"Rae Cummings?" a strange voice twisted through the cell phone that Rae had next to her ear.
Unsure what to do, Rae answered, "Yes, this is Rae Cummings."
"Ms. Cummings, my name is Miranda Jamison. I'm a friend of you're daughter, Skye," the voice replied.
"Skye?" Rae whispered into the cell phone.
From the opposite side of the hospital waiting room, Jax's head suddenly jerked up. His blue eyes focused and he was on his feet in a moment. Coming to stand next to her, he whispered, "Is it Skye?"
Not wanting to lose the call, Rae hastily shook her head. Jax's heart plummeted, but Rae ignored him as she said, "Yes, Ms. Jamison. What can I do for you?"
Miranda took a breath as she hastily looked around and swallowed once. Her throat seemed to suddenly have gone all dry and scratchy. However, her promise to Skye would not allow her to backslide now that she had come this far. Taking another short breath, Miranda continued on, "Ms. Cummings, I'm calling you as a favor to a friend."
"Forgive me for being terse, Ms. Jamison, but what's this all about?"
Swallowing one last time, Miranda closed her eyes as she pushed on, "You're daughter, Skye... she asked me to contact you, Ms. Cummings."
"You know where Skye is?" Rae asked promptly, this time her heart seemed not only to have skipped just one beat, but it seemed to have stopped working all together as she awaited the answer.
Reluctantly, Miranda replied, "I do."
"Where?" Rae asked hopefully.
"Just one moment, please, Ms. Cummings. I'll tell you everything, I promise... but first I need to have your word on something," Miranda responded.
Rae breathlessly said, "Name it. I'll do anything."
"The reason I am calling you instead of your daughter, Ms. Cummings, is because Skye is sick. She wants you to come and see her immediately... and to bring her daughter Sydney with you. I'll tell you exactly how to find her, but I must have your word that you won't breathe a single detail to Jasper Jacks," Miranda said. She then added, "Unless you agree to my terms, I am afraid I can't say anything more."
Rae bit her lip as she looked at Jax. The pleading in her eyes nearly tore her heart in two. Whether it was for knowledge of Skye or fear of Sydney, Rae knew not. All she did know as she slowly shook her head and responded that she was doing what she had to do to protect her daughter… and her granddaughter.
"You have my word..."
Sometime later, Miranda came into Skye's room. She was carrying a small tray of medications, a crystal carafe of water, and a cut crystal drinking glass. Placing the tray on a nearby table, she saw Skye's blazing amber eyes focus on her as she said, "Don't worry, Skye."
"It's done?" Skye murmured.
Miranda smiled a small smile as she nodded slowly. "Yes. Your mother is on her way, and she's bringing your daughter with her."
A feeling of warmth suddenly began to flow through Skye's body. She smiled as Miranda came over and helped her take the medicine. For the first time in a long time, Skye's battered body sunk into a peaceful sleep as Miranda took one last wistful glance at her and then exited the room.
Closing the door tightly behind her, Miranda sighed when she suddenly saw the old man sitting in his wheel chair, watching from the shadows.
"How is she?" he murmured.
Miranda shrugged. "The same. Maybe a little better."
"She looks so old, Miranda. So frail. She wasn't always like this you know. Not before... well, not before a lot of things," shaking his head, the old man sighed in resignation. He then looked up in all seriousness, as the old man said, "Is she still calling out for him when she sleeps?"
Slowly, it dawned on Miranda what the old man was talking about. Shaking her head, she answered truthfully, "Sometimes, sir. It seems that some nights are worse than others. On occasions, I can hear her calling for him, but most times not. To be quite honest, I can't be quite sure what she's mumbling."
The old man nodded. "Good. Good. I knew I did the right thing then."
"Sir?" Miranda questioned.
Adam Chandler smiled an evil smile as he said, "Keeping Jasper Jacks away from her, no matter the cost, is the least I could do for my baby, Miranda. I would do anything to protect her, Miranda. *Anything*."
Hesitantly, Miranda looked towards the old man and said softly, "Mr. Chandler... if I may be so bold as to ask a question?"
"What is it?" Adam grumbled.
"Well, sir, not to put too fine a point on it, but why have you gone to so much trouble to separate Skye from this... this Jasper Jacks? Isn't that what you called him?" Miranda asked.
Adam nodded. "Yes, Jasper Jacks. Of J & J Jacks of Alaska."
"Yes, sir. This Jasper Jacks... why is it so important that he be kept away from Miss Skye?"
Adam shook his head, his lips pursed thin as he turned his chair around. The only answer Miranda got as Adam rolled down the hallway in his electric wheel chair was, "I have my reasons, Miranda. Suffice to say that if Skye ever saw Jasper Jacks again, it would kill her, and that is something I will keep from happening at all costs. At all costs, Miranda... all costs."
As soon as Rae removed the receiver from her ear, Jax spoke. "Rae?"
It took Rae several moments to process what she had just been told. None of it seemed to make any sense. She shook her head as the shock over what Miranda told her sunk in.
"No, it can't be real. It just can't," Rae said.
Standing up, Rae began to pace the small space of the hospital waiting room. Clasping her hands together, she began to mumble to herself, ignoring Jax's pleading looks of anxiousness as he stood, watching her. "It just doesn't make any sense," Rae continued to mumble. "None at all..."
At last, Jax could take it no more as he stood up and grasped Rae firmly by the shoulders. His blue eyes shining with so many emotions that Rae couldn't possibly identify them all, he desperately said, "Rae, please..."
Looking up, whether it was the pleading in his voice or the firm grasp of his hands on her shoulders, Rae snapped out of her reverie. Scrambling for words, Rae tried to piece together a coherent thought without breaking the promise she had just made to her daughter via the intermediary that she knew only as some young woman with a kind voice named Miranda Jamison.
"Jax, I-"
"Rae? Please. Tell me what in the hell's going on. Was it Skye?" Jax asked, his heart turning tightly in his chest as anticipated the answer that he was both dreading and hoping for simultaneously.
Rae was silent for a moment before she said, "Jax-"
"Mr. Jacks?" a voice came from behind the pair.
Letting go of Rae, Jax's arms dropped to his side as he spun around and turned to face the source of the voice. "Yes?"
The doctor looked at his clipboard and said, "Your daughter's out of surgery, Mr. Jacks."
"And?" Jax prompted impatiently.
"How is she?" Rae added. "Is she all right? Did it work? When can we see her?"
Biting his lip, the doctor tried to figure out how to proceed. It was always difficult in situations such as these, with the patient being as young as she was. Shaking his head, the doctor said, "I'm afraid I have bad news. You're daughter Sydney is..."
Jax suddenly felt the world begin to spin around him. So much grief and so much loss... it was truly heartbreaking to see how cruel fate was to him. Had he wronged someone in a past life? Is that why he was being punished? First, with Skye… and now… with Sydney. He had lost them both… and then gotten them back only long enough to realize how wonderful they were only to lose them all over again. It was too much. It wasn't fair, and for the first time in his life, Jax realized that it was just too much.
Meanwhile, Skye continue to lay in bed starring at the ceiling. Taking a deep breath, Skye closed her eyes and tried to focus. Soon Rae would be here... and Sydney. Skye smiled at the thought of her daughter. She wouldn't give up until she saw her daughter one last time. That was the plan Skye had ultimately come up with… and she intended to carry it out precisely and without mistake.
"Oh, how big she must be by now," Skye murmured to herself. "She probably doesn't even remember me."
Slowly, Skye opened her eyes. Her decision made, she began to move. The movements were slow and measured... the kind that come only when one has a definite plan in mind. And, having a plan in mind was exactly what Skye did have. Finally… for the first time in a long time, Skye not only had her daughter first and foremost in her thoughts, but she also had a way that Skye could do something for her. Everything she did and had done since she had woken up from that first morning in that hospital and been told she was dying was for Sydney.
"Ms. Chandler, I'm afraid you're suffering from kidney failure."
"I'm not surprised."
"You're not surprised, sweetheart? But, surely..."
"No, I knew it was a possibility... a consequence. Maybe even a punishment for all the wrong things I have done in this life."
"A possibility of what? Punishment, Skye? Really. What have you done that's so terrible that you would be punished by being diagnosed with kidney failure?"
"If you only knew, Daddy. If you only knew."
Looking up, Skye bit down on her lip as she hastily threw all her energy reserves into the exercises she had been forcing herself to do each night so that she would be strong enough to get out of bed and hold her daughter when Sydney came to her. Not even Miranda knew what she was up to. And, if Adam had found out what she was doing... Skye shuddered at the thought, because if he found out what she was doing he would want to know why.
"And you can never know, Daddy. For Sydney's sake, you can never know," Skye whispered as she kicked her legs out of the bed. Beads of sweat were already glistening upon her furrowed brow as she made an attempted to not only sit up in bed, but actually to get out. She would survive long enough and be strong enough to see her daughter, hold her one last time, and trust her mother Rae to protect her to bring her back to Jax… she only hoped Rae was strong enough to withstand Adam's ire and possessiveness if he did actually find out about Sydney.
Unfortunately for her, as was on par with the rest of everything in her life, Skye's luck ran out at that particular moment as her thoughts distracted her. Crashing down out of the bed, she felt her heart catch in her throat. Shooting pains came up her torso as the world began to spin around her. And, as she sunk down into the blissfully numb world of unconsciousness once more, the last world that was on her lips was the name of the man whom she believed had betrayed her... the man she still loved and longed for... the man that was by their daughter's sickbed and not her mother's.
And as Skye cried out from somewhere quite far away from him, Jax forced himself to look away from the sleeping image of his daughter as he thought he heard the echo of her voice on the wind calling out his name.
Jax sat in a chair. He didn't move, he just sat with his eyes focused in one direction. He watched the rising and falling of her chest, fearful that with each breath she drew that it would be her last. She was so beautiful... so innocent. So small... so young.
It just didn't seem right as he watched her fading away in the huge hospital bed.
Only when he felt the light pressure of a hand on his shoulder did Jax break the reverie of his thoughts.
"Jax," came the voice.
Remaining silent, Jax refused to tear his gaze away from Sydney's breathing frame, afraid that if he looked away for a split second that she would stop breathing. And then it would be all over. His daughter would be dead, and he would be all alone. But, it wasn't the idea of being alone that scared Jax the most. No, what scared him the most was the fact that if Sydney was to leave him, his last tangible link to Skye would be gone. That would be it. With only his memories left to prove to him that their time together had been a very real thing, tangible proof that the love of his life *had* actually existed… *had* actually loved him… if Sydney left him… all that would simply blink out of existence. That would be that. And, that was the one thing that Jax was unwilling to deal with….
Loss. Betrayal. Pain. Hurt. Lies. Deceit.
All of these he could deal with. But without hope, what else was left? For, to him, Sydney was his hope that one day, somehow, he and Skye would find their ways back to each other.
"Jax?" came the response again.
This time, the firmness in her voice caused Jax to reluctantly break his gaze as he turned his head to stare at her. "Rae?"
"Jax, I need to speak with you outside," Rae said, somewhat more urgently than Jax would have expected.
Protesting immediately, Jax said, "Rae, can't it wait? I don't want to leave Sydney by herself..."
Shaking her head vehemently, Rae said, "No, Jax. It can't. So, please... please come outside."
Jax was still hesitant before Rae nodded at a pediatric nurse who had appeared by her side, "Samantha will stay with her, Jax. She won't be alone, I promise. But, I have to talk to you right now. So, please..."
Gesturing towards the door, only when he saw the chaotic pain in Rae's eyes did he finally nod and say, "All right. But only for a couple of minutes."
Taking one last look at his daughter, Jax slowly stood up. Following Rae outside, only when the pair was a good way into the hallway, did Rae stop walking.
As Rae turned to face the father of her only granddaughter, she bit her lip to keep from having the tears in her eyes falling. For the days that they had been in the hospital, a hollowness had come over Jax like she had never seen before. Not only did the emptiness that she had come to know so well since she had met Jax six months before predominately weigh upon him, but their was something else there, present in his eyes. The closest word that Rae could find to describe it was as something bordering on…. desperation.
"Jax, I have... I have news," Rae said slowly.
Narrowing his eyes, Jax stared at her in confusion as he said, "What? What is it? Did the test results come back? Did you see Sydney's doctors?"
Shaking her head, Rae bit her lip as she said softly, "No, Jax. It's not Sydney." Pausing, Rae gulped back the knot in her throat as she tried to figure out how to tell Jax what she had to tell him. Nodding at last, Rae said, "I don't know how to tell you this, Jax, except to say it straight out."
"What is it, Rae?" Jax asked.
Rae was silent for a moment, causing Jax to become even more agitated.
"Rae? What is it, Rae?" Jax said. "Please, tell me."
Slowly, tears ran down her cheeks as she said softly, "It's Skye, Jax. It's Skye."
"Skye?" Jax repeated the name slowly, as if it were a foreign word. "Skye?"
Nodding, Rae said, "Yes, Jax. It's Skye."
For the first time in a long time, something that she had not seen in a long time came to light Jax's eyes as he said, "What about Skye?"
Swallowing, Rae said softly, "I know where Skye is, Jax. I know where she is."
The footsteps echoed in the empty hallway as he walked slowly towards his goal. A flash of his smile and a drop of the right name here and there had gotten him exactly where he needed to go. It had always been thus, and for once in his life, Jax was glad that his facile dealings in social interactions that usually served him so well in business were at last being useful in his personal life.
One left turn, two rights, and ten feet straight down the hallway and he was there.
Somehow, Jax thought it would take longer to reach the room. After all, the hospital room was tucked away in the bowels of the clinic that it had taken a miracle… and a lot of money for Jax actually to find out about… let alone physically to find.
Out of the blue, the lone wooden door appeared. Blatantly forbidding, its imposing structure seemed to dwarf everything about it. The door seemed to stand as one last sentinel to guard Jax against that which he had spent the past year and a half seeking. Except for those brief few days when Jax gained a daughter and her mother, and then lost his child's mother in almost the same heartbeat, Jax had been without Skye so long that it was wholly unbearable for him.
How many nights had he spent wandering in dreams, searching for her endlessly only to wake up in a cold sweat and alone in bed? How long had he spent trying to get over her? Trying to reconcile what he had thought had been the truth with the woman he had thought Skye to be? How long... how much time had been wasted during their separations caused first by lies of their own making, and then pride, and then… then because of fate in the end?
Skye was dying. Jax had to face that. He had spent the entire trip from Port Charles to the clinic bracing himself for what he would find when he saw Skye. Even if she didn't love him anymore... even if she didn't want him around, Jax wouldn't let the woman he loved more than life itself go to her death scared and alone. He would be there with her and see whatever would come to the end.
And, so, Jax took a step forward and gently pressed on the wooden door. He didn't knock... made no signal as to his arrival. He didn't want to alert Skye to his presence- at least, not at first. No, at first, Jax wanted to see her and see her without Skye having a chance to put on airs and hide more things about her current condition from him. By catching her off guard, Jax hoped he would accomplish at least this much when he had failed in so many other aspects of life concerning Skye.
Fortunately, for Jax, in this moment… fate *was* on his side. As he slipped into Skye's hospital room, he found her at long last. Sleeping, in the middle of a great and gigantic hospital bed, Skye lay curled into a ball. It tore Jax's heart as he gazed upon a woman that had once been so bright, so vibrant that Jax had thought she would never burn out. But, apparently she *had* burned out and all that remained was that pale and skinny creature that Jax gazed upon now.
Her skin was translucent, and she had lost so much weight that Jax would have been surprised if she weighed more than eighty pounds soaking wet. Her once luminous hair was now dull and flat. Her cheeks were sunken in, and her eyes had deep, dark bags under them. In short, Skye looked like hell, and Jax felt a flush of guilt burn through him as he wondered once again why she had rejected him and not let him help her through this illness.
"Oh, Skye," Jax whispered.
As Jax suddenly realized his cheeks were wet from tears, he turned away. He wouldn't cry in front of her. No matter now he felt... no matter how much regret or loss, he wouldn't show it in front of her. He owed Skye that much.
And yet, as Jax garnered his strength, a whisper floated to him on the still air.
"Jax?" came a soft, female voice.
Turning around, expecting with hope against hope to have it be Skye who was calling him, Jax was thoroughly floored when the brown-haired nurse stepped out of the shadows.
"M-M-Miranda?"
-TBC-