GUESS WHAT GUYS. IT'S THE SUMMER AND I'M OFFICIALLY BORED, SO I'M POSTING THIS TODAY (THURSDAY) INSTEAD OF ON SATURDAY, WHICH IS WHEN I SHOULD BE POSTING IT BUT THAT'S TWO DAYS AWAY AND FAR TOO LONG FOR ME TO WAIT.

Gimme a break, I'm BORED.

JUST A QUICK WARNING: More slash in this chapter (dear me, I am turning into a slash fiend ;)), if you don't like m/m don't read it – you have been warned (although I'm not sure why you're reading this if you don't :P). Hopefully I'm gonna have this wrapped up in more or less the next one or two chapters, so I won't drag it out for too long. :P

DISCLAIMER: I own no part of the Harry Potter books, films, etc. Everything belongs to JKR/Warner Bros.

All bits from the book(s)/film(s) are in bold

P.S. So I just read this chapter and it's, like, horribly fluffy. You might want a bucket to read this with. ;)

The Meaning Of Family

Chapter Eighteen

Remus yawned as he trudged into the kitchen. 'Well,' he said, 'I've put Harry to bed, and I've made mine if you want to go to bed now. Oh, are you hungry? I think I've got some –'

He was about to say the word 'stuff' when he was shoved roughly against the wall by Sirius, who had suddenly leaped out of his chair and apparently decided to attack Remus.

'Sirius, what are you –'

Remus was cut off again; this time, Sirius kissed him roughly, bruising his lips and running his fingers through his hair. Remus, helplessly pinned against the wall, sighed into the kiss – he couldn't help himself. Sirius let out a groan and shoved his hand down Remus's pants.

'Wha–' Remus spluttered, before yet again being cut off by Sirius pressing his lips against his. Remus moaned loudly as he felt himself going hard. Sirius chuckled quietly against his lips, forcing Remus's mouth open and slipping his own tongue inside, thoroughly exploring every nook and cranny.

Remus moaned again as Sirius caressed his cock, leaning back against the wall and allowing Sirius to take full control of him. He'd missed this so much, he hadn't even realised how much until now, until he felt Sirius's hands exploring him everywhere, leaving burning little marks that somehow made him shiver and tingle at their touch…

Sirius felt his own erection straining painfully through his jeans and unzipped them, sighing in relief as his cock was freed from its confinements. He quickly pulled off Remus's trousers too, dragging them down his lover's thighs and doing the same with his boxers (without paying attention to which Quidditch team's emblem they bore).

He straightened up and looked Remus in the face – the latter gazed back, lost in a sort of blissful delirium. Sirius kissed him, slowly and passionately, grinding his hips against Remus's, before breaking away and focusing on his now-unclad lower half.

Remus groaned as Sirius took him in his mouth, moving his tongue slowly around the base of his cock; Remus shuddered and thrust forward into Sirius's mouth with another groan of ecstasy. Sirius began to move his mouth back and forth, beginning slowly but gradually moving faster as Remus gave shouts and whimpers, all the while thrusting his hips forward in perfect rhythm with Sirius's movements.

'Oh, fuck!' he cried as Sirius ran his fingers delicately up the inside of his thighs. Sirius gave a moan in response and began to trace mindless patterns over any and every part of Remus's body he could reach, enjoying the feel of Remus inside him and he was so lost in everything Remus, all his little gasps and whimpers that were making Sirius hornier than he had thought it was possible to be.

'Ah – shit, Sirius, I think I'm gonna –'

What Remus was about to do he suddenly found he could not voice; it became evident, however, anyway. With a cry of, 'Oh fuuuuuck!' Remus jerked forward and came straight into Sirius's mouth. At his lover's shout Sirius too was pushed over the edge of release and into a blinding abyss of paradise. He came with a moan as he pulled away.

'Shit…' Remus gasped, sliding down the wall and sitting with his pants round his ankles, attempting to catch his breath. 'T-that was… fuck, Padfoot…'

Sirius swallowed. 'You're welcome,' he replied with a grin and a wink. 'I mean it – any time.'

'Did – did you…?' Remus murmured breathlessly. Sirius nodded and laughed, as though Remus were being deliberately obtuse for even having to ask.

'Jesus, Moony, even a nun would've come at the noises you were making.'

Remus giggled shyly. 'I su-suppose your pants'll be ruined then, eh?' he asked, still a little out of breath.

'Just a bit!' Sirius chuckled. Remus grinned.

'In that case I reckon we should probably get them off before you do any more damage,' he said. Sirius grinned back.

'That sounds like an excellent idea,' he said, standing up and pulling Remus up with him. 'Want to lead the way?'

They spent the next few weeks acting like the sappiest couple ever. They went everywhere together and did everything together. Some people saw a recently recovered Sirius Black, finally freed from a wrongful conviction that had led to a prison sentence, newly in love and cheerful once again. Most simply saw a blissfully happy man with a partner he adored and a baby he valued more than life itself.

Only Remus saw the darker side to the effects of Sirius's time in Azkaban. Only Remus lay beside him at night and heard him moan and cry out in his sleep. Only Remus was there to hold him as he sobbed, when he broke down because he couldn't hold it in any longer, when the memories of those dreadful two months became too much. Only Remus rocked him and comforted him and told him that everything would be alright.

And each time, Remus cursed himself for not doing something about this sooner.

If only he'd gone after Peter as soon as Dumbledore had given him the go ahead to do it, Sirius might have fully recovered from Azkaban by now. He might even have had to spend as little as a week in the wizard prison, but because of him, he'd had to spend two months there, and still had recurring nightmares.

One night, as they lay quietly in bed, wrapped in each other's arms, the pressure of the guilt overcame Remus, and he had to confess.

'Sirius,' he began uncertainly. Sirius lifted his head from Remus's chest and looked into that beautiful, melancholy face.

'Mm?'

'I – I have to tell you something,' Remus mumbled, hating himself with every word. He didn't quite know how to tell Sirius that Sirius could have been out of Azkaban much faster but for him, and he really didn't want to, but he knew that he must.

'What is it, Moony?' Sirius asked. He was beginning to grow quite concerned; Remus was wrinkling his brow and looking tortured.

'While – while you were – away,' Remus stammered; he swallowed, unable to finish his sentence. 'While you were away, I –' He hesitated again.

I slept with somebody else.

I kissed another man.

I kissed a woman.

I realised I'm straight.

I realised I didn't love you.

Sirius's mind ran amok with possibilities of what Remus might have done. He began to get frightened and he stiffened against Remus's body, biting his lip.

'While you were –'

'Yes, we've established that I was away,' Sirius snapped, terrified at what the end of that sentence might be, but desperate to find out all the same.

'I – Dumbledore asked me to find Peter,' Remus said. 'And I –' He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 'I should've found him straight away but I didn't. I just felt so depressed and helpless that I didn't even try. You could have spent a week – tops – in Azkaban and because of me you had to spend two months there. Because of me. Because I didn't even try. I'm so sorry.'

Sirius hadn't even realised he was holding his breath until he released it with a heavy sigh of relief. 'Is that it?' he said, fighting a most bizarre urge to laugh. Remus gaped at him incredulously.

'W-what do you mean, "Is that it?"?' he cried. 'I – you – I made you suffer!'

Sirius sighed again. 'Azkaban was horrible and terrible, yes, and I hope to god I never have to go back there,' he said matter-of-factly. 'But… the thing is, it's in the past, Remus. It's over now and I don't want to think about it.'

'But –' Remus began, but Sirius cut him off with a kiss.

'You know, Moony,' Sirius said when he broke away, 'most people would've given up when they heard that Peter had been killed. Most people would have fallen at the first hurdle and not bothered to get up. But you did get up. If it weren't for you, I'd still be in Azkaban, so don't you dare blame yourself for any of this. None of this was your fault. It was just a big, messy pile of injustice and bad luck.'

He laid his head back on Remus's chest, and the latter assumed that the debate was over – when Sirius thought he was right, arguing with him was tiring and pointless. He kissed Sirius's forehead, and Sirius snuggled down and nuzzled against him.

'Y'know, when you said you had to tell me something, I was so scared,' he said. 'I thought you were going to tell me you didn't love me or something. Or you'd found someone better than me.'

Remus smiled. 'There's absolutely nothing better than a nice warm Padfoot, trust me.'

'I don't know, a Moony is always very agreeable, especially on a cold night,' Sirius argued. Remus chuckled and kissed him again.

'So…' Sirius said shyly after a short silence, as though trying to broach an unpleasant or awkward subject.

'Yeah?' Remus replied.

'What are we? What is this?'

'What's what?' Remus asked, nonplussed.

'This,' Sirius said. 'Us. This… this thing. I mean, we haven't really talked about it and I just wondered…'

Remus was quiet for a while. Then he said thoughtfully, 'Well, what do you want it to be?'

'What do I want it to be?' Sirius replied.

'Yeah. What do you want it to be?' Remus said again. 'It can be whatever you want it to be.'

Sirius thought for a moment. 'Would you object if I said I wanted to be your boyfriend?' he asked.

Remus smiled, feeling warm and content and somewhat relieved. 'Not at all. But only if I get to be yours,' he countered. Sirius grinned, burrowing deeper under the bedcovers.

'It's a deal,' he said happily. Remus sighed in satisfaction and closed his eyes.

'I love you, Padfoot. I'll always love you.'

'I love you too. You know there's no getting away from me now, don't you? I'll cling to you forever. Like a flobberworm. Or something else that clings. Seaweed?' Sirius mumbled sleepily, making Remus laugh again.

'That's fine, Padfoot. I'm not averse to being clung to, not by you anyway,' he said.

'Love you, Moony,' Sirius murmured as he drifted off to sleep.

'Love you too, Padfoot. Always have, always will.'

Sirius suggested one day that they go to see Molly and Arthur, as he felt Remus really ought to apologise for almost injuring their son in his attempts to catch a criminal. Remus reluctantly agreed, though he was apprehensive to say the least about Molly's reaction to him – last time they had spoken, she had accused him of chasing a dead man in desperation to free his criminal of a boyfriend, and he in due course had jumped on her son – but he realised that a humble apology was probably the best way of clearing things up. After all, she couldn't stay mad at him long – her maternal instinct was simply too strong.

In fact, to Remus's surprise (not to mention relief), she didn't seem angry at all when they arrived at her door one afternoon.

'Oh, hello dears!' Molly cried, cheerfully ushering Remus, Sirius and Harry inside as she greeted them warmly. 'It's so lovely of you to drop by! Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee? Bread and soup? Do sit down, dears, you must be very tired and hungry. Oh – how's little Harry? He must be almost the same age as Ronnie now.' She smiled tenderly at Harry, who gurgled and giggled back.

'He's two in July,' Sirius replied, smiling proudly. Something about the atmosphere in the Weasley household made it impossible not to want to grin whenever you were there – the sheer cheerfulness of all the occupants seemed to rub off on you. He took a seat at the table next to Bill, who was playing exploding snap with his younger brother Charlie.

'Boys!' cried Molly, bustling over with a pan of hot soup, at which she pointed her wand; the pan tipped and poured onion soup into the numerous bowls set down on the table. 'What have I told you about playing snap at the – Oh now look what you've done!'

At Bill's triumphant yell of, 'SNAP!' the whole, considerably large pile of cards exploded, taking, it seemed, half the table with it. Sirius ducked and shielded Harry's face as bowls went flying, splattering soup all over the walls, floor, ceiling and almost everybody in the kitchen.

'WHAT DID I TELL YOU? YOU WAIT TILL I TELL YOUR FATHER –'

'Tell me what Molly – oh! Oh my!' Arthur exclaimed, having returned from work at that precise moment, and now standing and staring at the scene before him. His two eldest sons, their eyebrows slightly singed, looked up at their mother over a burnt pile of what might once have been playing cards, with identical expressions of anticipation and terror. Molly glared back at them, wand in hand and apron covered in what looked and smelled like onion soup. In fact, the entire kitchen was covered in it, and several bowls lay in pieces on the floor. Also seated at the table were, slightly stunned, Remus and Sirius, the latter of whom was clutching his godson Harry on his lap and looking as though he were fighting the urge to laugh. He at least seemed to have escaped the soup explosion, but unfortunately the same could not be same for poor Remus. He was covered in the stuff, hair plastered to his face with it, chunks of onion sliding rather comically down his cheeks. Clearly he hadn't got out of the way in time.

'Ah – hello, um, Molly dear,' Arthur began rather cautiously. His wife had that look in her eye, that look that plainly said she was about to explode just as the playing cards had done. She turned to look at him and smiled briefly before turning back to her sons with a cry of, 'HOW DARE YOU! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I WARNED YOU ABOUT PLAYING EXPLODING CARD GAMES AT THE DINING TABLE? NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! YOU ARE GOING TO CLEAN THIS MESS UP RIGHT NOW!'

'Yes, Mum,' the two boys said simultaneously, rushing off to fetch towels and dishcloths.

'Hello, Arthur, dear. Remus, I terribly sorry – here, have a tea towel…'

'Hi, Arthur,' Sirius grinned. Now that he had overcome his initial shock at the culinary explosion, he was beginning to find the whole thing rather amusing. 'Good to see you again.'

'And you, Sirius,' Arthur replied. 'I'm glad to see you're recovering well after… well, after Azkaban.'

Though bile rose in his throat at the mention of the awful place, Sirius was rather glad of Arthur's matter-of-fact approach to speaking about the wizard prison. He was sick of people skirting round him, smiling sympathetically and talking to him in hushed tones as though he were ill or dying. Of course, he had told Remus everything, often half-sobbing and in a state of disorientated grief – and Remus, to his credit, had held him and rocked him and been everything Sirius needed – but he had not discussed his time in Azkaban with anybody else, and many people seemed to think he was still in shock. Sirius supposed he was still shocked to some degree, but he wasn't as fragile and badly affected as everybody seemed to think, simply because he had Remus. Remus had been his saviour, Remus had pulled him from the edge of that deep black hole that he'd come so dangerously close to falling into, and Remus was the only person he could really talk to about the whole thing, causing most other people to think he was still in shock or denial.

'I went there myself once,' Arthur continued, half-lost in a sort of reverie; his brow was wrinkled and his eyes were suddenly far away and troubled. 'On a Ministry errand. Not a good place. Not a good place at all.' He shook his head slowly.

'It's made me appreciate life a lot more, though,' Sirius said thoughtfully. 'I mean, I don't really think I understood what I had before and now… well, I know which people I'm never ever leaving again.'

Arthur smiled. 'I suppose that's a sort of silver lining, then,' he said. Sirius nodded and looked at Harry. Arthur's eyes followed his, down to the lightning bolt scar on Harry's forehead.

'I've been meaning to ask about that,' Sirius said, noticing that Arthur was also looking at the scar. 'Remus suggested talking to Dumbledore but I haven't really got round to it yet, what with... everything, you know?'

Arthur nodded. 'Is that where…?'

'The curse hit him,' Sirius finished. 'I think so. We're still not really sure what happened the night that –'

He stopped suddenly. Arthur nodded again and said, 'They're still here, Sirius. Inside of Harry.'

'Yeah. Remus said something like that,' Sirius agreed. 'I guess he's right. I still miss them though. A lot.'

'Of course you do,' said Arthur. 'They were your best friends.'

'They still are,' Sirius said. 'They're still here. Just like you said.'

There was a knock at the door just as Sirius was tucking Harry into bed, and he heard Remus, downstairs, open it. Sirius checked the clock – seven thirty. Who would be calling at this time, he wondered. How many people even knew they were here?

'Wendy!' Remus cried, surprised to see his best friend grinning madly on the doorstep. She looked healthier and happier than in all the time he'd known her, and he wondered what on earth could have pleased her this much – she clearly had some news she was dying to share. 'Erm, not that I'm not really pleased to see you,' he added, as politely as he could for being so surprised to see her so immeasurably delighted, 'but, um, what are you doing here?'

'I have to tell you something,' Wendy replied, not in the least perturbed by his less than ecstatic greeting. She looked past him into the hallway. 'Can I come in?'

'Oh, yes, of course,' Remus said, remembering his manners. He stepped aside and let Wendy in. She almost waltzed over to the kitchen table and sat down, beaming from ear to ear. Remus took the seat opposite her and waited in anticipation.

'Remember how I told you Jack came back last month?' she began, suddenly watching him slightly nervously, as though waiting for a disapproving reaction.

'Yes,' he replied, wondering where she was going to go with this story. He remembered the night vividly, as it was the same night he'd realised Peter's location and gone hammering on the door of the Burrow. 'What about him?'

Wendy took a deep breath and slid her left hand across the table, extending her fingers so that Remus could clearly see the silver ring on her fourth finger, set with a bright blue stone. Remus stared at it for a couple of moments before realising what it was.

'I'm getting married,' Wendy whispered unnecessarily. Remus looked up; the blissful grin had returned, and Remus wanted to feel nothing but happiness for her, but there was just one thing niggling at the back of his mind. He hated feeling like the patronising parent, but he couldn't help but wonder:

'Don't you think this is all a little… hasty?'

Wendy raised her eyebrows. 'Hasty?' she repeated, as if she were not sure she had heard right and was merely clarifying what he'd said.

'Well,' Remus elaborated, feeling distinctly as though he'd got his foot stuck fast in his mouth, 'I mean, he only moved back last month. And you said yourself that you weren't even a proper couple. I just… I'd hate to see you get hurt.'

She looked steadily at him, and Remus was sure he saw pity in her eyes.

'When you fell in love with Sirius, did you stop and think about why? When you agreed to raise a kid with him, did you ask yourself if you were being too hasty or making rash decisions? When you said you had to find that Peter guy so that you could get Sirius back or whatever, did you even consider not going after him?'

Remus stared at her wordlessly. Wendy shook her head.

'No, you didn't. You didn't because you just knew. When you love someone, you just know,' she said. She shrugged. 'And with Jack… I just know. So no, to answer your question, I don't think it's too hasty. I think it's the right time for us, that's all.'

'But he hurt you, really badly!' Remus protested, looking at her imploringly. Wendy met his gaze without faltering.

'I know that too, Remus, but we talked and he promised he'd never do anything like that again. I – I was so young and naïve… But he loves me, Remus. He says he loves me and I trust him. I believe him.'

'Oh,' Remus said, a little at a loss how to argue with this. He shrugged. 'Well, if you think it's right and you're happy, then I'm happy for you.'

Wendy smiled again. 'Thanks, Remus.'

Remus returned the grin. 'No problem. So, tell me more about the wedding.'

'We're getting married in June,' Wendy replied. 'It doesn't really make sense to wait too long, because it's not going to be a really big ceremony. It's just going to be quiet, you know?'

'Right,' Remus nodded. 'That sounds great.'

'Yeah,' Wendy agreed. 'It's going to be a small ceremony – just family.'

'Cool.'

'So… we were wondering if you'd like to come.'