Winged Obscenity

Sitting on the back of his ink falcon, Sai has been dutifully concentrating on the guide of polite speech for beginners in order to grasp the concept of "common sense" and "adequate response" during all short intervals between his numerous missions. Being fully absorbed in the subtle art of conversation, the agent hasn't noticed his new fellow flyer.

"So… I shouldn't address the Dickless as Dickless", Sai loudly exclaims and furrows his brow.

"Ahou!" a vaguely familiar creature, clothed in feathers, hoots. The lean ninja looks to the left and plasters the trademark smile on his pale face.

"Mr. Bird, you don't start a dialogue with a stranger in such an uncivil manner. Only those dickless do…" Sai decides to reprimand his chance companion.

"Dickless! Dickless!" the bird eagerly repeats, opening its large beak.

"Please, be so kind to refrain from…" the young man tries to diplomatically convince it otherwise, but the bird suddenly flies off. "… cursing".

"Dickless! Dickless!" He can clearly hear the distant cries.

"Am I responsible for this awkward situation?" Sai poses a rhetorical question, being as perplexed as ever.

Madara Uchiha has been having a nostalgic reunion with his oldest and most bitter enemy in the Valley of the End .

"Your only achievement is a petty victory in a battle against me one hundred years ago, but I'm going to win the future war and dominate the entire world! Mhahaha! " the Orange Mask proclaims in a deep voice to the apathetic monument of the first Hokage. "Your clan, Senju, once cheated to bring me down, for I would have defeated your lot easily if I had not been… "

"Dickless!" the stone statue mocks Uchiha unexpectedly.

"It's alive!" Tobi screams in horror and vanishes.

"Ahou! Ahou!" the same ugly bird comments, idly cleaning its plumes.

Jiraya, having obtained a new useful piece of information, habitually jumps through the window in the Hokage's office and, to his surprise, finds himself tackled to the floor by a furious Tsunade.

"I'll show you that I'm not an old dickless hag on menopause!" she yells with a determined fire in her honey orbs and lashes out.

Forty minutes of passionate argument later.

"Tsunade, it's not like I am not happy about such a… ahem… spontaneous delightful development between us , but why?" the toad sannin asks, while trying to collect his scattered clothes.

"I've always had a soft spot for you in my… heart and all these years of loneliness I've regretted not giving you a proper chance…" the disheveled woman answers, picking up the fallen papers.

"And the real reason is…" Jiraya presses, knowing that there must be a considerable catalyst.

"It's that stupid bird's fault" Tsunade confesses in an exasperated tone.

Two figures are standing on the training grounds in front if each other. A gust of wind blows and tousles their hair.

"Are you ready for our next round of competition?" the person in green spandex challenges his yawning opponent. "My magnificent rival!"

"Gai, let's settle this another…" Kakashi drawls in a weary voice.

"Dickless! Dickless!" wafts from the nearby branch to the two jounins.

"Oh! You're so ingenious! I see! You suggest that we should compare our…" Gai guesses enthusiastically.

"Have a nice day!" Kakashi swiftly reacts and disappears within a swirl of leaves.

"... compare our pedagogical skills by teaching parrots talk!" the other finishes, a little bit saddened, but returns his high spirits in a blink. "Yosh! I need to find a bird and teach it how to speak Chinese fluently in one night!"

The Fire Daimyo has been enjoying his rarely serene afternoon in the royal gardens, fanning himself and humming a sweet melody. All of a sudden a crazy bird lands on his lap, peers at him intently, and cries "Dickless!"

"How did it discover my impotency?" the lord squeals before fainting.

"This way you will never be able to fulfill your vengeance or restore the Uchiha clan, little brother" Itachi states cooly, gripping Sasuke by the collar. "Pathetic, you're…"

"Dickless! Dickless!" the air carries the insult from above.

"Brat, I have an important mission for you", Tsunade informs the blond genin. "We've received seventy four complaints and dozens of requests to hunt down a particularly annoying saboteur. The bird must go down! No matter what!" the Hokage commands.

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