I wasn't planningon posting this until Saturday, but then all alerts came in my mailbox :O THANKS! Especially to Boneslover10 for improvements! Chapters 3 and 4 have more BB angst than others I've written so far:-/ sorry to those of you who don't like that… I'll hopefully update twice this week to make it up to you

Disclaimer: Idon't own anything!

Worried FBI agent:

Booth's POV:

Walking towards the Diner, I once again couldn't help but wish things were like before Afghanistan; Thai food, late night paperwork, being together all the time, guy hugs; god I just wanted to hug her throughout the whole Lauren Eames case and after it, in the car. I miss talking to her about EVERYTHING. She always listened and had a very strong opinion, but never judged me. Hannah never judges me, but we don't talk about everything. We've never had a fight; I fear that one fight would ruin our whole relationship.

Once I could see Bones through the glass wall of our favorite place, my thoughts went elsewhere. She looked thoughtful and what feared me the most, sad. I didn't see her honest, actual carefree smile ever since I told her my feelings. It was my fault. I rushed her. I should have known better! Now the best and only thing I could do was to let her figure things out by herself. That's what she'd want me to do, and I had to respect that. I could tell that she thought telling me her true feelings was a mistake. She couldn't really love me, could she? She wasn't thinking clearly and if we'd take another chance, I'd regret it later, wouldn't I? Or would I be grateful for the time I got to love her and be loved by her in return? I decide on the later. I could never regret anything between me and Bones.

.

Though, it was so close. I barely held my words back. 'No, you didn't miss your chance; I'm the one that took it too early. We can have it all!' - This is what I almost told her in the first place. But I didn't. I hardly gathered enough strength to say that 'I love Hannah and that she isn't a consolation prize', which was also true, but I wasn't really being honest her.

I do love Hannah and I would never consider any woman as a consolation prize, not even metaphorically. Hannah was there when I needed her and I love her for that. I love her because she's beautiful, intelligent, strong, fun and spontaneous, and because she loves me and lets me love her. The one, Bones wasn't. She wouldn't show me her love or let me love her and take care of her. So Hannah was the better option! She was the only option I had out in the open. Once again I had to remind myself that I could never have a normal romantic relationship with Bones, before entering the Diner. She greeted me and smiled nervously.

.

"Hi Bones, what's up that you had to talk to me so urgently?"

"We can reschedule if you don't have time. I know you and Hannah both like to spend as much time in bed with each other as possible."

Well, that caught me off guard! She totally surprises me sometimes at how blunt she can be!

"I always have time for you, Bones!"

She looked at me unbelievingly, which made my heart flinch.

"Well, it's just… the last time, when Angela was going to announce she's pregnant you said you wanted to surprise Hannah and than have intercourse when she comes home from Munich."

"Well, first of all: I didn't say intercourse, that's how you put it and second of all: I couldn't pretend I didn't know something I already did. We both know I'm a bad actor!"

We both knew that wasn't true; if I was there, we definitely would have fooled Hodgins. Once I made sure Bones wouldn't be alone that evening, I decided it would be the best opportunity to be with Hannah. If Bones isn't alone, I'm happy.

She just nodded. I was curious of what she had to tell me. She sounded quite concerned over the phone.

"So what is it, that you wanted to say to me?"

She looked like she was choosing the right tactic – something she wasn't really good at when it came to communicating with 'living' people.

"Did you tell Hannah about our… relationship, I mean about the way things used to be between us?"

Hannah doesn't have a clue about Bones and me. I try to not talk to Hannah about her and vice versa. Knowing that Bones would want an explanation, of which I wasn't quite sure either, something better came to my mind.

"No."

I smiled a little.

"What goes on between us is just ours; it's not different, even with Hannah around."

.

I meant it with my whole heart. It also made me feel guilty. Isn't your girlfriend supposed to be the one you tell everything to? Wouldn't I tell Bones these kinds of things if we were a couple? Of course I would! I tell Bones pretty much everything. Would I tell her about a past 'relationship' with someone else if we were a couple? Probably yes, we're best friends! That sounded wrong, but I had to push those thoughts to the back of my head. Ugh, it was all so confusing.

.

She smiled, firstly, although her eyes seemed a bit teary and then turned concerned.

"Well maybe you should at least imply her a little before Sweets' book gets published."

I was silent for a few moments, but, when realization struck, I turned concerned.

"Sweets' Book is getting published? After all the mistakes we found and everything that happened? No one told me? You knew and didn't tell me?"

A book about us? To everyone's access? After all he wrote in there, I could forget about having a girlfriend ever again!

"He changed it though, right?" I asked nervously.

He better have! I shouted in my own head.

"He just informed me today and told me to tell you. I was hoping Sweets called you already, that, that's the reason you were busy this morning. He changed the factual error, but the conclusion remains the same. I'm sorry Booth, really, I know this isn't the best thing for you and Hannah. He said something about misunderstanding with his publisher and not really having a choice."

I was angry; angry with Sweets, his publisher, myself, even with Bones and Hannah.

"What am I supposed to do now?" I said, trying to keep myself calm. Bones noticed it and tried to make a joke to help me relax.

"Hope that she doesn't put much thought in psychology?"

"You're joking about this? You think it's funny that my girlfriend, that I love, will soon find out that some very respective twelve year old thinks you and I love each other?"

.

I could see the hurt written all over her face when I told her that I love Hannah and the way I said that Sweets thinks me and Bones are in love with each other. I said the last part like it was the most absurd thing in the world; when in reality, it wasn't. I shouldn't have attacked her, I knew that it wasn't her fault, that it was a mistake, but I also knew my anger had to go on something – someone. And the only person I expected could forgive me was Bones. The only person I can argue with and trust enough that everything is going to be okay between us is her.

.

We argued a lot about more and less important things in the past, but we always made peace in the end. I could only hope that it's going to be the same in this situation, but once tears started to escape her eyes, I wasn't so sure.

"Don't cry, now!" I said, a bit too angry, yet desperate. It was like when I was younger and was told to take care of Jared, I did something wrong, so he started to cry and then I was so eager to soothe him that I started yelling. I tried to reach for her hand, but it was pointless.

"I'm sorry, I tried to make you feel better! I'll just leave it alone next time." She said with tears flowing down her face freely and walked away. Her voice held all of the emotions I could remember at the moment: anger, sadness, sorrow, disappointment, compassion… maybe even a trace of love?

I knew running behind her and trying to explain, make things better, while I'm still a bit angry wouldn't help.

Now I had two people to explain things to. Hannah had to find out about Bones and me from somewhere else other than Sweets' book and Bones had to forgive me, because I felt guilty as hell. I thought about going to yell at Sweets for (re)causing all this trouble, but if nothing would change, it was pointless and wouldn't help my anger from rupturing like a volcano.

Thanks for reading! Review, it doesn't take much and it makes me happy :D

Good night, or whatever...

~K