AN contains spoilers! This chapter has Brennan sad, but I promise Hannah is in the next one and she begins to sense something… It'll be posted soon Thanks A LOT to Boneslover10 for all her improvements! I've seen the new promo; does he really tell Hannah… What happened to what's ours is ours? I had to find myself an explanation for some of Booth's actions; When Bones is sad she goes to her rational world and is in denial and when Booth is sad, he acts sarcastic, makes jokes and is also in denial :P

To make it clear, I don't hate Booth…:-/

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Sad scientist:

Brennan's POV:

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I really didn't want to hurt him any more than I already have. He was upset and nervous and probably…, I hoped, didn't mean what he said.

"You're joking about this? You think it's funny that my girlfriend, that I love, will soon find out that some very respective twelve year old thinks you and I love each other?"

He was right, all he had said was true. I shouldn't have joked about things that were so serious. I didn't find it funny either, to be honest. I just didn't know what else to say in such an awkward situation. I was truly hurt by his words. Why did he have to keep rubbing it in, that he was 'in love' with Hannah? If I was worried of her reaction, imagine how Booth felt. She was the love of his life, so he had said, but he also said that to me once, so I couldn't really bring myself to believe him. As I realized earlier, if he'd lose her because of the book, where our relationship is described, he'd sure be even angrier with me. All I wanted was to have things the way they were, but my personal wishes didn't matter at the moment. I had to make sure Booth and Hannah would hold even through Sweets' psycho-explanation of the love between Booth and I, or the love we once had for each other, that is.

'The center must hold.'

He said that four years ago, meaning us as the center. Like I said… things change. The center was staring to fall apart, but I wasn't quite ready to let it go completely. I couldn't run again, it wouldn't help overall, wouldn't make things better for anyone. If me being unhappy meant everyone else at work, and Hannah would be happy, I could live with it. It was like one person sacrificing her life would mean the rest of the nation would survive. Like the Jesus, Booth believes in, sacrificed his life, so the rest of God's followers could have a life beyond death. Only I didn't even have to die!

All I had to do was put my own wishes and needs to the side and focus on helping Booth with his relationship… and possibly prevent my friends from reading the book.

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First I had to talk to him again, but he was probably with Hannah. Letting him spend time with her was obviously the right thing to do. So I went home, worked on my book a little and played our conversation and my thoughts over and over again, until I felt a huge pain in my metaphorical heart for the loss of friendship I was feeling from Booth.

The last thing I ever wanted to do was to say 'no' to him, after he kissed me outside of the Hoover building that night, but I wanted what was best for him and I just didn't feel like I could give him what he wanted. I don't want to hurt him. In that car, almost a month ago, he said those exact same words. Somehow we were both doing exactly that – hurting the other. I was relieved, though, that we both shared guilt; we both hurt each other, so we were equal in that view. He had no right to yell at me and I should have known better, than to make jokes about such serious situations…

So did he feel the same way? No, probably not. If he would have fought with me, he'd just go to Hannah. Actually he'd end up home with her either way, so arguing or not; it wouldn't have made a difference for the situation that was unraveling.

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I went to bed early, but of course, couldn't sleep. Besides my sadness I was also curious. Did he go home and tell Hannah already? Booth I knew, would tell the truth immediately or never. That's what he always did to me anyways. Considering Hannah would sooner or later find out, he probably told her. How did it go? Did he only tell her about the book being published or did he explain our whole history? What did she say?

My major concern was Booth. Was he still angry or was it just the heat of the moment? And, of course, what was Hannah's reaction? I also became Hannah's… 'friend' sort of speak, so did she hate me for having a past with Booth? Maybe she felt sorry for me? Ugh… so many unanswered questions!

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Sleep took over me after a long time of thinking, but almost as soon as I fell asleep, I woke up; another horrible nightmare. In my nightmare, Hannah was kidnapped by the gravedigger. We couldn't find her and Booth blamed me. I decided to leave for the Maluku islands forever, but Caroline called me to come back, she didn't name a reason, so I refused. Two days later I got a call that said Booth died, because they couldn't find where he was buried.

Before any more questions could be asked, I shot up in bed, with skin glistening with sweat and my night-shirt was completley soaked. The first time I blinked, tears spilled onto my cheeks. Nightmares are pointless! Although later, when driving to the Jeffersonian at three-thirty in the morning, I remembered a research article, that proved we express our fears through bad dreams.

After identifying two limbo skeletons, my plan was to have a short nap on the couch, but my phone rang.

"Hey…"

It was Booth, his voice was almost apologetic. I so hoped he wanted to talk and apologize, or just talk for that matter, but the timing didn't fit.

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"…we have a case!"

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I smiled, just a little... Maybe things will get back to normal.

Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think and thanks to all of you that have done that.

Sorry for making Bones sad, I'll do my best on fixing that :D

~K