A Random Little Note from the Author
This one is the first of the very offensive and stereotypical ones. Sorry. Ideas always welcome, don't worry if I don't put them in straight away, I have a list (not a long enough list, unfortunately)
Edward's Diary
Dear Diary,
Today one has witnessed the most startling chain of events, and one's cover has been blown. The pretty fine young lady, who sits next to one in Biology studies, has deduced my true identity.
She accosted one in the woods yesterday afternoon, and one was worried that she may want an invitation to the hideously vulgar, and garish ball they call the 'prom'. Of course one had no intentions of ever letting her, a low class peasant, come with a distinguished gentleman such as myself. But this wasn't her intention after all, and after much melodramatic lines she finally told one that one was 'posh'.
One politely asked her to define the meaning of such a slang word and she burst out laughing. At this point one decided that it would be best to leave, because as my mother used to say, 'If you lie down with dogs, you're bound to get fleas'
What a disastrous calamity. One's life will never be the same again. How can one go on, when everyone around one, knows that one is better than them. Actually, maybe it's not such a catastrophe. Perhaps now, the lowly peasants that live around here will learn to give one proper respect. Yes it is fabulous. Simply wonderful. One shall now rule over my subjects most graciously.
Next Day
Dear Diary,
There has been an unfortunate occurrence. When one tried to establish one's rule one was received with much rudeness, and even had dirt thrown at one. One has decided to establish one's rule elsewhere.