Title: Unrelated, 8/9
Art by: beelikej
Pairing: John/Mary, John/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Total Word Count: 4623
Warnings: Explicit slash
Disclaimer: If only John and Dean were mine... *sigh*

A/N: See all the great art, along with all my other stories on my LJ (john-n-dean dot livejournal dot com). Dean is not a Winchester in this story.

Chapter 8

"So… you and Dean?" Sam wasn't sure how he felt about that. Dean had been like a big brother to him for years. In a lot of ways he still looked up to him, even if he was jealous of how much he and John had in common, how much time more time John was willing to spend with Dean. At the time he'd thought that John wished Dean was his oldest son rather than Sam, but now he wondered.

"Yeah."

"You know you're old enough to be his father, right?"

"He's a grown man, Sam. Commanded armored units. Saw combat, earned medals. He's hardly a child I lured into my car with a pocket full of candy."

"How long was this going on? Is this why you left Mom?"

Why the hell did all the kids seem to think he left Mary? It was slightly depressing that they didn't seem to know him better than that. "It wasn't Dean that broke us up, Sammy. There were a lot of things wrong with our marriage. Things we tried to ignore for years. I didn't leave her, and she didn't leave me. We sat down like two adults and decided that things weren't working, that we'd tried everything that there was to try. There comes a time when… you just want some peace." He sighed when he realized that he was quoting Mary.

"You couldn't have peace with Mom?"

John sighed. "No. I mean, I can now, but living together… that was just askin' for trouble. I'm not even sure how we fell in love with each other to begin with."

"But you don't love each other anymore?"

John snorted softly and shook his head, feeling much more sad than amused. This felt like déjà vu. He wished Sam had been there when they told the other kids. It would have been so much easier that way. "Simple answer is I fucked up, Sammy. I love our mother just as much now as I did when I married her. More, actually. She's the mother of my children. We shared a life. Built a business. I shouldn't've started anything new until I was over her. That wasn't fair to Dean."

"Then why did you?"

"I fell in love with Dean a long time ago. Nothing ever happened between us, but it was there. After the divorce I was hurting and he was there and… like I said, it was stupid of me to move so quickly. But I can't go back and undo it." He didn't want to go back. Despite everything, things were good with Dean. And he was happy, just like Mary predicted. He didn't know if it would stay this way, but it was nice to have this now.

"Maybe I'm slow, but I just still don't understand why the divorce happened in the first place. I mean… if you didn't leave Mom to be with Dean, then why?"

"We can't have a discussion without it turning into an argument anymore. I see black and she sees white."

"So it was Mom's fault?"

"No! I never said that. We tried, Sam. We tried for damn near thirty years. We went to counseling, retreats, dated. But as hard as we tried, as much as we love each other, our marriage was on life support. Then I fell in love with Dean and the marriage couldn't survive that. But looking back, it was just… time to let it go. To let each other go. You kids are adults now, you don't need a stable home the way you did when you were younger."

"So… This thing with Dean is serious?"

"My feelings for him are. I believe his for me are too. Whether it'll work out, only time will tell."

SPN*SPN*SPN*SPN

When he heard the knock at the door, he thought maybe John had forgotten his keys. He was stunned to see Mary. He wondered if this was how she felt when he'd shown up at her doorstep two weeks previously.

"Hi, Dean," she said and gave him a bright smile. "Can we talk?"

"Uhm, sure. Come in." He moved to let her enter and closed the door. He followed her to the living room. "You want something to drink? We got water, beer, iced tea and, oh, beer."

"Just water, thanks."

He poured her a glass of water from the big water filter pitcher in the fridge and brought it back to the living room. She was sitting on the couch, which freaked him out a little after all the things he'd done on it with her ex-husband over the past couple of weeks. "Here you go."

"Thank you," she took a sip and waited for him to sit down in the recliner. "You haven't been by the house lately."

That was the last thing he expected her to say. He frowned at her. "I… didn't think you'd want me there after… everything."

Mary leaned forward and covered his hand with her own. "I meant it when I said it was okay. I'm not gonna lie to you Dean. I love John and I wish that it had been me who could've made him happy. But I tried for thirty years and couldn't manage it. It was time for both of us to move on. I love him enough to be happy that he's finally happy."

He frowned deepened. How could she be so nice to him? He didn't deserve it. And how did she know that he was making John happy? John didn't seem happy to him. At least not all the time. Sometimes Dean thought he was, and then he'd get all silent and broody and he knew the older man was thinking about Mary. About his old life. "But you ended up alone."

She smiled. "I'm happy right now. Content with myself, finding my center. My balance. I'd like to eventually be happy with someone else, but I'm in no hurry."

Dean snorted and shook his head. "How can you be like this? I'd hate me if I were you."

"I love you, Dean. Before I even met you, when Sam told me you saved him that day. You could have just let it happen, like everyone else. You could have thrown yourself at John while we were married, but that's not who you are. You have a good heart. I could never hate you. Andrew misses you too. Just come by. Spend some time with him again. John is still the father of my children, and you have been a part of my family for too many years to just walk away now."

"I don't... do you really thing that's a good idea?"

"Of course it is! I'll tell you what. Why don't you and John come by a week from today for dinner?"

He bit his lip. He wasn't even sure if he would be seeing John today. He was always surprised when the man came back every day. "I'll ask him."

"Good. I'll make your favorite."

He sat staring at the space she'd vacated for several minutes after she left. She was like some sort of freaking saint or something. How the hell was he supposed to compete with that?

SPN*SPN*SPN*SPN

John had burst into Dr. Howitzer's office, insisting on seeing him. He hadn't seen the councilor since he and Mary's last session, a few days before she filed for divorce. The man had graciously agreed to see him for a few minutes between sessions. He must have been shocked. John wasn't exactly big on sharing and caring.

"I'm having sex with Dean," he blurted out. Why waste time hymning and hawing? This is why he'd come, what he needed to hear advice about.

"Oh. Okay." The man was watching him with slight amusement as he paced back and forth.

"I'm afraid that this is gonna end up like my marriage did. I love him. I can't lose him the way I lost Mary. It felt like my heart was being ripped in two when Mary divorced me. It still feels that way sometimes. I can't go through that a second time, doc."

"Dean isn't Mary, is he?"

"No… he's not. I mean, they have some things in common. Some of the things I loved best about Mary I can see in him. The way they're both so in the moment, and so fierce about protecting the people they love. But he's not her."

"So why would your relationship with him be the same as yours with her?"

"Me."

"It's true that people tend to repeat the same mistakes in relationships… but it's not always true. I don't think you should cut yourself off from love and happiness just because the last time didn't work out."

"You don't think this is too soon? I mean… the ink's barely dry on the divorce papers."

The doctor's lips quirked in a slight smile. "That could be problematic. You haven't given yourself time to heal, to figure out who you are outside of your marriage. But it doesn't have to be catastrophic. Be honest with him and yourself. Take things as they come. You two might well make a go of it."

SPN*SPN*SPN*SPN

After his talk with the doctor, John had gone for a long walk. He ended up at a playground that was much like the one he and Mary had taken the kids when they were young. He sat on a bench and watched the parents. That had been them once upon a time. Him and Mary. He felt tears sting his eyes. It was so unfair to Dean that he let their relationship move so fast when he was anything but okay. The doc had been right. He needed to talk to Dean about it. He snorted softly. Neither one of them was the type for sharing and caring. He briefly considered calling Sammy for some pointers. But no. He just needed to man up, he thought as he retraced his steps back to his car and went home.

He found Dean in the living room going through his impressive collection of DVDs. Impressive mostly because only about half of them were porn. "There you are," he said looking up from his search with a smile that lit up the room. "I was just about to order pizza. I was waitin' to see what you wanted on it."

The kid shrugged but didn't answer. "I was also tryin' to find us a movie, just in case you wanted to watch somethin'."

"Why didn't you just call me? I left my phone on." He'd made sure he had, just in case Dean needed him for anything.

The kid shrugged but didn't answer. "I was also tryin' to find us a movie, just in case you wanted to watch somethin'."

John frowned. Had the kid been afraid that he wasn't coming back? Now that he thought about it, Dean never asked him about his plans and he always seemed relieved when John showed up if they didn't come upstairs together. He huffed out a soft breath. Weren't they a pair? "That would be nice. Dean, we need to talk."

He looked back down at the DVDs. "Can we not and say we did?"

"No." John sat down and looked up at him expectantly. The boy looked like a deer in the headlights. "Please?"

Dean put the movies down and sat on the couch next to John. "Okay."

"I love you." John held up his hand to forestall a response. "I didn't say that to get you to say it back. I just need you to understand that this isn't just a fling for me. I'm not usin' you to ease the pain of my divorce. I… I had no idea that you were even attracted to me, otherwise I wouldn't have come here when I moved out."

"You don't have to stay if you don't want to be here."

"That's not what I meant. I want to be here, I want to be with you. But I don't want this to be a rebound relationship. I want this to last and if I'd known that this was even a remote possibility, I would have taken it slow and done things right. I just got out of a relationship with someone I loved and expected to spend the rest of my life with. I don't want to end up blowing this too because I didn't get over what happened with Mary before I started something with you."

"So… what does that mean?"

"Honestly? I have no idea. I don't do casual sex and I don't do temporary. I sure as hell don't want either with you."

Dean chuckled, but it was anything but amused. The boy looked vulnerable in a way John had never seen him. "I do both. A lot. But I don't want that with you either. I've wanted you since the first time I saw you. You smiled at me and…" he trailed off with a one-shouldered shrug. "I was done for. I've been in love with you for most of my life."

"I'm not over Mary yet. I don't know how long it's gonna take for me to be."

"I know. Knew that when I jumped you. Knew it was a stupid, selfish thing to do… but there you were, on my couch and I just couldn't make myself walk away. I still can't. So it takes as long as it takes. 'M in this John. For as long as you are."

"Yeah. Okay." He reached over and stroked Dean's short sandy hair. Dean leaned forward and kissed him. He was never, ever going to get sick of kissing Dean.

"Wanna fuck you, John."

"Yeah? What's takin' you?"

SPN*SPN*SPN*SPN

Sam had promised himself that he wouldn't say anything. He'd promised Jess too, when they'd been getting ready earlier. But he couldn't stand listening to everyone talking and laughing like nothing had happened or, worse, like what had happened was perfectly okay. Dean had started out nervous but that nervousness was fading quickly. Yes, his father had said that the marriage had died of natural causes, but John had basically moved in with Dean the day after the papers were signed. It was obscene to watch Mary and the rest of the family treating him like they always had, after what he'd done. He sat there at the dinner table, becoming more and more angry until he couldn't stand it anymore.

"You were supposed to be my friend, Dean," his voice cut through the chatter and everyone stared at him, horrified and silent. Even he was surprised by what he said. He hadn't meant to speak. But he couldn't stop himself. "Was this really your plan all along?"

Dean glared at him. "Yes, Sam. This was my dastardly seventeen year plan. You figured it all out."

"So you're just gonna sit there and deny that you were harboring feelings for my father the entire time you were pretending to be my friend and acting like you gave a damn about my mother?"

"Sam!" John barked. "That's enough!"

"I… this was a mistake." Dean stood up and bolted from the room.

"Dean," Mary called after him, but the only thing that could be heard was the back door opening and closing.

"I'll go see about him," John said as he stood up and followed him.

"See if you can get him to come back. I'll take care of this one." She pinned their oldest with a withering stare.

"Mom-"

Mary cut him off with an upraised hand, her blue eyes blazing. "Dean is a guest in my house and you will not disrespect him again, do you understand me?"

"I know you're big on the whole forgiveness and understanding thing, but he broke up your marriage."

"He did no such thing! Dean's a good boy. I know John's been falling on his sword about this, but I'm the one who filed for divorce over his objections and then I practically shoved them into each other's arms!"

"You what? Why?"

"Have you ever seen your father smile this much before? Dean makes him happy in ways that I couldn't. I want that for him."

"What about you?"

"I want that for me too. It'll come when it's supposed to. When they come back, you're going to be civil and apologize."

John finally returned. "He won't come back. We probably should have given this more time."

"I'll go get him," Sam sad with a sigh. "I owe him an apology anyway."

Sam found Dean in the driveway leaning against the Impala.

"Can we not do this tonight, Sam?"

"I just came to say I'm sorry. You're my best friend. I should know you better than that. You wouldn't do what I accused you of. Not least of all because you have the attention span of a gnat."

Dean laughed. "You have to be a bitch even when you apologize, don't you?"

"It's part of my charm."

"I don't know why I put up with you."

"Because I'm adorable and you're too much of a jerk to be picky when it comes to friends. Seriously though, man. I really am sorry. You're too good a person and a friend to do what I accused you of. Dad is too. Mom might be certifiable though."

"Yeah. But at least she's the awesome kind of crazy."

Sam nodded, smiling. "She is awesome, isn't she?"

"You were just tryin' to protect her, man. I respect that."

"So, we're good?"

Dean sighed and nodded in the darkness. "Yeah, we're good."

It amazed him, how quickly his mother and Dean could forgive and let things go. He wished he had that gift. "Then, come on, dude. Our food is gettin' cold."

SPN*SPN*SPN*SPN

"Geezus, Winchester, slow the hell down! First you're married, then you're divorced, now you're gay. What's next? Changin' your name to Ginger and learnin' to walk in heals?"

"I'm bisexual, Bobby. Always have been."

"Still… up 'til just now I thought Dean was one of your kids. He's not, right?"

"Of course he's not! You've known all my kids since they were born. How the hell could you possibly think Dean was one of 'em? You think I kept him in the cellar for seventeen years?"

"I dunno. You got so damn many kids."

"You're a senile old bastard, is what I think."

SPN*SPN*SPN*SPN

"She's dating?" John looked over from the car he was working on. All he could see of his youngest was his legs… well his leg and his prosthesis sticking out from underneath an SUV.

"Yeah. You're livin' with someone. Mom can date." There was no heat in his words. Andrew had always been the easiest to get along with out of all his children. But since he'd been wounded, he was damn near sainthood.

"Never said she couldn't, son. Just took me by surprise. She didn't say anything about it. So who is this guy?"

"He's a lawyer and he's Spanish. Some guy that worked with Sam on the Innocence Project."

"The Innocence Project?" John snorted softly. "Figures."

"Why?"

"Guy like that… more her speed."

"She was talkin' about having you and Dean over for dinner. Probably when she was gonna tell you. I live with her, so I end up seeing way more than I want to."

"Maybe it's time you found your own place. Spread your wings a little."

"I thought about it. But I don't want to leave Mom alone…"

"I could see your point if she needed her diapers changed and help remembering not to put her dentures in the microwave… but I think she could use the privacy. So could you."

SPN*SPN*SPN*SPN

John decided to swing by Mary's on the way home from the airfield to pick up the tools he'd left behind the previous week. She'd had a leaky pipe in the master bath and he'd fixed it for her. He left a few tools behind and shown her what to do just in case it needed adjusting. She'd left a message for him that he could come pick them up while she was out of town for the weekend.

"Tell her I said hi," Dean said from the passenger seat, barely cracking an eye open.

"You're not comin' in to say it yourself? You know she's just likely to come out."

Half Dean's face was swallowed in a yawn. "I can live with that," the boy murmured. The mission had worn the poor kid out.

John snorted and left him there. He let himself into the back door and yelled for Mary or Andrew and got no answer, so he went upstairs and to the end of the hall. When he entered the bedroom, movement caught his eye and he turned to get an eyeful of a very naked Mary in bed with a very naked man that he hoped was the guy Andrew was talking about. He was still trying to figure out how to react when they noticed him. the man rolled over and scrambled back against the headboard, giving John a far too clear view of, well, everything. Mary let out a startled yelp.

"Oh! Whoa!" John turned his back and closed his eyes. He did not need to see Mary doing that with anyone.

"John!" She said in a squeaky, high-pitched voice.

"Mary… uh… I just came to grab my tools. Nobody answered when I called out and I thought you were gone for the weekend already."

"It's okay. You can look now."

"Yeah, now that the image is imprinted on my retinas. I'm just gonna grab my tools from the master bath and be outta your hair."

When he returned to the Impala, slamming the door behind him. Dean''s head shot up and he looked around before studying his face and frowning at him. "What the hell's wrong with you, man?"

"I just saw Mary and what's his face…" he trailed off, feeling his face burning as he blushed. He ran a hand down his face and sighed. "I saw way more of him then I ever wanted to see."

He snorted and let his head fall back against the headrest. "That's funny. I always thought it would be Mary walking in on us fucking in the garage, what with your inability to keep your hands to yourself."

"Right," John scoffed as he turned the key into the ignition. His baby immediately roared to life. "Like you're any better."

SPN*SPN*SPN*SPN

The problem with his marriage had been that he and Mary were too different. It wasn't just the differences in their personalities. They were polar opposites when it came to what they believed in, what they valued (aside from each other and the kids). She was a vegetarian with occasional flirtations with veganism. He refused to give up red meat. Once, they had a four day argument because she decided to serve tofu turkey for Thanksgiving. She was a pacifist while John was a proud of his service. She'd been upset when four of their six kids decided to follow their father into the Corp and a fifth become an FBI agent. He'd been pleased that the long tradition of Winchesters serving their country would continue. Even basic decisions on how to raise their children were known to start arguments. She believed in allowing the kids to be 'partners' in their own 'development.' John was, like his own father, a disciplinarian who believed that if kids were qualified to make their own decisions, they wouldn't need parents. The list was long and varied, everyday seeming to turn up another thing about which they would never see eye to eye.

He and Dean, on the other hand, brought a completely different worry. He was afraid that they were too much alike. They both preferred topping, Dean having rarely bottomed and John having never bottomed before. They were both pigheaded and stubborn; both were apt to ignore a problem they didn't feel equipped to deal with until it either went away or – more likely – spiraled completely out of control. They agreed that most people didn't know their own asses from a hole in the ground and graciously excused each other from that category. At least most of the time.

He kept waiting for the arguments, for the thing that neither of them would bend for to rear its ugly head. But it never did. Even when they argued, it always ended with some sort of agreement, or compromise. Arguments were actually uncommon, because it was a rare day when Dean didn't just cheerfully let John do whatever he wanted like John having his way was the how the world was meant to function. The one thing Dean insisted on when they did argue, though, was make up sex. He always said that an argument wasn't officially over until they were naked, sweaty and sticky.

SPN*SPN*SPN*SPN

John collapsed breathlessly on top of Dean. "Fuck."

"Yeah," Dean gasped.

John moved to sit up, but his dog tags were tangled with Dean's.

"How the hell…"

Dean slipped the chain over his head, and the whole tangled mess swung from John's neck. He sat up and pulled his own over his head and went to work untangling them, Dean watching in amusement as he sipped his previously neglected beer. Once he finished, John looked at the tags to see which was which. He started to hand Dean his back, but changed his mind mid-motion and offered Dean his own instead. The boy's eyes flickered from the dog tags up to John and back again before he took the offered tags and put them around his neck without comment. John smirked slightly as he put Dean's on. The message was simple. Dog tags told who you were or, in this case, who you belonged to.

"Good thing this couch is leather," John said as he grabbed Dean's beer and took a long pull before handing it back.

"That's why it's leather. Easy to clean up." Dean wiggled his eyebrows at him.

John rolled his eyes. "Slut," he said affectionately, kissing the younger man on the forehead and pulling him close.

SPN*SPN*SPN*SPN

Dean walked into the room frowning down at his phone. "I just got a text message from Mary."

"You too?"

"You think she really believes this?"

John snorted but didn't look up from his book. Dean loved how sexy he looked with his reading glasses on. "That 'god is in her, as her'? I suspect so."

"Oh." He paused for a moment. "That explains a lot, actually."

I told you not to get her that damn Eat, Pray, Love gift package for Christmas."

Dean smirked at him. "You know, you really should wear those to bed. You can be the stern professor and I can be the naughty student."

John gave him a heated look over the tops of his glasses. "Who says I wanna top tonight?"

Dean bit his lip. It slowly slid out of the grip of his teeth as he smiled. "Even better. You can grade me on how well I fuck you."

"You honestly expect me to go back to my book after all that?"

He shook his head slowly, grin widening "Nope."

He could feel John's eyes on him as he walked to their bedroom, pulling off his shirt as he went. He heard a faint snort and then the sound of the older man's soft footfall as he followed him. Once John closed the door behind them, he turned and pushed the older man against it, his thigh pressed between his legs. John went lax, let him do what he wanted. "Damn," Dean whispered against his lips. "Somebody's in a subby mood tonight."

"Yeah," John agreed good naturedly, his cheeks dimpling as he grinned. "What're you gonna do about it, boy?"

Dean bit back a whimper and kissed the older man.