"but I won't cry for yesterday, there's an ordinary world, somehow I have to find. And as I try to make my way, to the ordinary world, I will learn how to survive." DURAN DURAN

Jo is awake but Steve's still struggling. Expect some softness and comfort (I mean we've finally had some good news) but there's plenty of angst too...

"Hi mate." Steve nodded to his sleeping friend as he took his usual place by Kate's bed. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, there was a hint of a smile spread across his face.

"I've got some good news, like really good news. Jo's woken up and she's doing good. She's a little bit confused and still pretty tired but knows who she is and where she is. That's good, really good."

Steve paused for a moment. After everything that had happened, it felt strange to hear good news.

If Jo could wake up then surely that meant Kate could too.

But joy and hope felt like strangers in Steve's day to day, and if he was going to be truly honest, it had been like that even before the current mess started. He couldn't remember the last time he felt truly happy.

He still wasn't sure if he could dare to hope, because what if he did, what if he dared to hope and he still lost everything? He didn't think he could cope with such pain.

Steve smiled weakly and gently took hold of Kate's hand.

"I'm still here mate, sorry I went all quiet there. Guess all this is hitting me harder than I thought. I just gotta keep going though, I haven't really got another option. And I promise I'm trying, mate. I just wish I weren't all so hard."

Steve sighed quietly as Kate gave no response, no sign that she had understood what he'd just said. She remained still and silent, giving no indication that she knew he was there at all.

"I'm gonna go to see Jo in a bit when she's feeling a bit stronger. I reckon she's going to need someone to look out for her, and I'm happy to do that. If that's okay with you? I know you really care about her, so I'll do it for you alright. Though just as long until you are well enough to take over, yeah. That's gotta be some motivation for you. Jo has woken up and she's going to be okay. If you can hear me, hang on to that. She's already asked about you and now I've gotta go and tell her that you got sick again. I really don't want to do that mate."

A stray tear rolled down his cheek, he'd cried so much recently, he didn't even notice anymore. His smile faded and with it so did most of his hope. Head in his hands, he screwed his eyes shut. He wanted to scream, just to let some of the worry and frustration out. The begging and pleading all felt so pointless. Nothing happened. It was the waiting that was the hardest, the waiting and not being able to do anything. He'd do anything to get Kate to wake up.

"Please, if you're in there mate, if you can hear me, sense me or whatever. Just give me something. Anything. Because I can't keep waiting like this, god it's killing me. Josh is struggling too. You've got so many reasons to wake up, mate. I just wish you knew how much we all care about you, how much we want- how much we need you to okay."

Why won't you wake up? I know you can do it, mate. Please, please wake up.

Steve left Kate with his thoughts and then took the short walk, just a few bays down the ward. After waking up earlier that morning, Jo was now strong enough for visitors.

He stopped outside for a moment, the last time he had seen Jo she'd been unconscious, still reliant on machines to breathe for her. Now she was awake he wasn't sure how to interact with her or if she would want to see him at all. With a deep breath to steady himself, he stepped awkwardly into the ICU bay. There was still a part of him that couldn't help but feel nervous. So much had happened between them in such a short space of time and he still wasn't sure what to make of Jo Davidson. Suspect? Villain? Victim? Friend? He'd seen her as all of them in recent weeks. Friend? Steve held the thought in his mind. Jo was going to need a friend, or at the very least someone who could be there for her. Friend.

A pang of guilt settled in his chest as he remembered all Jo had been through since being taken into custody.

He thought of how distressed she had been in the interview as Carmichael had systematically torn her life apart, he'd watched as her frosty facade had crumbled, exposing the broken soul that hid underneath, defeated and lonely. It had been the moment when his view of Jo had changed, he'd realised that she had been forced and controlled much of her life, actions never her own.

Afterwards, she had trusted him with some of her darkest thoughts and experiences and all he had done was make a silent promise to look out for her. His mind switched to the van crashing, how he'd pushed her for a name despite devastating injuries, and how she'd stopped breathing in his arms. All Jo had been through since being taken into custody. The distress, the pain, the anguish. That was all on him. He'd promised to protect her and he'd failed.

"Hi," Steve tentatively greeted the woman in the hospital bed. "I'm glad you're awake."

Jo was lying propped up by cushions and she watched him closely as he hovered by the curtain. Most of the bruising around her head and face had faded but she still looked scarily pale and weak, childlike in her vulnerability. He met Jo's gaze and for a moment there was the faintest flicker of the formidable DCI that he had first met just a few weeks ago.

"Y… y-you c-can c… c-come i… i–in," Jo stuttered. Her voice was weak and hoarse and she spoke with a noticeable stutter, her frail form visibly trembling with the effort of getting the words out.

"How are you feeling?" Steve asked, it was a bit of a stupid question but he didn't really know what else to say.

She looked so small, so broken.

Jo shrugged, "o… o… ok-kay I g-guess…"

She watched Steve closely as he took a few steps closer. Her memories were still jumbled and confused but there was a small part of her that felt she could trust Steve. After all, he was here, which was a surprise in itself, she hadn't expected anyone to come and visit, she didn't really think anyone would care.

"H… h… h-how's K… Kate?" Jo asked, looking Steve directly in the eyes with as much determination as her weakened body could manage. The Doctors and Nurses wouldn't tell her anything but maybe Steve would.

Steve bit his lip and tried to look away from Jo's intense stare. Of course she would ask the one question he didn't want to answer.

"Alive." he finally settled for. "She's alive." What else could he say?

Jo looked up to meet his eyes, trying to read his expression but her mind still felt so foggy. Though the faintest whispers of her detective instinct told her that Steve was holding something back.

"B… b-but?" She knew that something wasn't quite right, his smile felt too forced, his eyes too tired. Something wasn't right with Kate.

"G-go s… s-see h-her."

Jo wanted to scream. She knew what she wanted to say, but she couldn't get the words out. Everything still felt so jumbled and she felt as if her body was betraying her. Nothing was working as it should and it left her feeling useless and stupid. The messages her brain was sending just seemed to get lost along the way and it left her frustrated and confused.

"I don't know if you're well enough for that yet," Steve admitted sheepishly.

Jo knew then that something wasn't right. No, it was more than that. Something was really wrong.

"W-what… w… w-wrong?" Her words came out more panicked than she'd intended, she could feel that tightness again, clutching at her chest, making it hard for her to breathe.

There was something Steve wasn't telling her. Her brain might have been a little jumbled, but she wasn't stupid. Kate. Something was wrong with Kate. She knew the expression on Steve's face, he was trying to work out how to deliver bad news.

Something bad had happened to Kate.

"W-what… w… w-wrong?" Jo asked again. "N-not s… s-stu…pid. C-can… t-tell me."

Steve sighed. Jo might be weak but she was persistent. He had a feeling she wouldn't stop asking until he told her the truth.

"Kate, she got sick again. She's here, in the ICU."

Jo froze, a terrified gasp caught in her throat. Kate was here, in the same ward. She had to see her.

She couldn't contain it any longer. Panic flared in her chest, rising to a level that Jo feared might crush her. She had to see Kate. She had to know what was happening with her. She had to tell her she was sorry, so sorry. For everything. With shaking arms she pushed herself into a sitting position and swung her legs over the bed, ignoring the waves of dizziness and sharp rushes of pain that surged through her body. She scrambled clumsily to her feet, still half tangled in IV tubes and wires from the monitors.

There was a short moment when Jo thought she would be okay, then as she tried to take a step her legs gave way and she crumbled towards the floor.

Steve reacted in a fraction of a second, he rushed over to Jo and caught her just before her head collided with the floor.

"Shit, Jo! Are you alright?"

Steve could feel Jo trembling as he carefully untangled her from the jumble of wires, tubes and bed sheets. She looked up at him with wide eyes and multiple emotions crossed her face all at once. Distress, fear, worry and anguish mixed together and Jo let out a strangled sob as she tried to wriggle away from him. He felt her take a sharp intake of breath and then various alarms started screaming.

"Miss Davidson!" A shocked nurse rushed up to Jo. "What are you doing, you shouldn't be out of bed!"

Bernie rushed in shortly afterwards, face lined with concern.

"Jo!" she gasped. "What are you doing? You're not strong enough, you could really hurt yourself."

Like that matters, Jo grumbled in her thoughts.

Though she couldn't help but wince as she tried to move and without the support of the oxygen mask she was struggling to catch her breath.

"S-sor-ry," she stuttered quietly.

"It's okay," Bernie soothed as she knelt down next to Jo. "I know you want to see Kate but you're not strong enough for that yet."

"B-b… b-but," Jo tried to protest, but Bernie stood firm.

"Jo, we need to get you back into bed. I know you really care about Kate, she cares about you too but you're just not strong enough right now. Your body still needs time to rest and heal, then we can think about going to see Kate"

Jo nodded and reluctantly allowed herself to be helped up off the floor and positioned back on the bed. Bernie and the nurse gently untangled her from the jumble of wires and tubes before placing the oxygen mask back over her face.