Day 3 – Date Actual - Unknown

I have never witnessed the stars like this, in all their glory. Infinite darkness spread out before me, broken only by the sparks of light in the vastness of space. The water of the ocean planet I find myself on is a black mirror. On the opposite horizon, is the very avatar of hunger. The scientists call it: APM 08279+5255. We starship pilots call it the Gate of Hell. A supermassive black hole. A tear in space-time. I pulled myself away from the infinite expanse of space and looked up to the devourer. A distortion of light rimed the outside of the void at the center. The tendrils of gravity reach out for three or four parsecs around. Light years.

I know moments are passing for me, but outside it would be centuries. I crashed three days ago. Outside the gravity well generations have lived and died. No rescue is coming. I would have been declared missing in action centuries ago. I wonder who had won the war or was it still going on? Did it matter now? Everything I love is long gone. What I was fighting for is lost to the history books. Maybe we had wiped each other out. The universe's justice.

I remember a saying one of a philosopher on New Edan used to use that the universe would put us in places we were supposed to be. That the universe would seek balance in all things. I wonder then, why did it put me here. On this vast ocean. Alone. Was it so I could slowly go insane? I certainly wouldn't starve to death.

I look up at the devourer and I reflect how small and helpless I am against it. Humans had been dealing with these truths for millennia before I was born. After all what was a lone human to do in the face of a hurricane? Now we could stop them before they formed. What can a lone human do against a black hole?

Use them as a slingshot and travel at near infinite speeds.

It is my fault; I knew the battle damage would make the maneuver risky. My gut said it was a bad idea, my mind said it was the only way to survive the ambush. And get the data to HQ Most pilots wouldn't try it, even with a fully functioning ship. I've always been a little crazy. Fine, a lot crazy.

I thought I could do it, get the message through. Warn Earth. Be the heroine. I should have known. I'm no hero. I'm the plain Jane at the back of the room. The girl voted most likely to be boring. No one really knew me. And now no one ever will. Except for maybe the devourer. Eventually even this planet will fall into it, and so will I. I didn't even see the planet before I hit it like a bug on the windscreen.

That boys and girls is why you don't skim the event horizon too close. You never know what is hanging out there that you can't see. Maybe they will use me as an example, or rather maybe they used me as an example of how not to hell-dive.

I wonder how many others had suffered my fate. The instructor called it hell-diving. When we first gave up on Fold Technology to make us independent of the alien scum that inhabit this galaxy. We did not have actual FTL drives. We did have mass neutralization and mass enhancement though. It is the same principle as early probes into the solar system. Get close to a planet, but don't get caught, just before you get caught leave orbit. The gravity making you go faster. Anyway, you can do the same thing while using modern FTL. You just fly close to a gravity well and pull out just before you get caught. Except you need to use big gravity wells. Like singularities. More massive the singularity the faster you can go. No one does it anymore, so what if you can deliver your cargo in a day instead of 2 weeks, you could die horribly and easily.

It takes a special kind of stupid to do it, especially now with half-decent FTL. And it takes a legendary level of stupid to do it with a supermassive singularity.

It says something about humans though, we were the only species who ever conceived of it. Was it ingenuity or just another example of how universally dumb humans are as a race?

I guess what I'm saying is, if anyone finds this, I was dumb, I ignored everything my instructors said about navigating at FTL. Especially the part where they said never, ever, hell-dive. In my defense if they had never told us about it. I wouldn't know you could do it. I had an idea while typing this log. Lithium Holiday signing off. P.S. I'm not bothering dating this I'm far too tired and lazy to bother with the math.

Day 4 – Date Actual – Unknown

I ran a scan today. Computer is starting to act flaky. Flakier than my sorority sister Tina. She was the worst. Where was I, yes. Computer said it would be 2.5 million years before it had completed the scan. Like I said, flaky. I think it's something to do with the singularity. I had a strange encounter today with someone who shouldn't exist. Perhaps I hit my head harder in the crash then I thought. Computer seems to still be scanning for metallic objects of non-terrestrial origin. Half the time it says it is caning the other half it asks me what scan I am referring too. I managed to catch some fish today. The permanent darkness on this planet seems to have caused them to evolve alternate sensory organs. Fish tasted like salmon. So it was not bad once I got past all the fleshy lumps with sensory tentacles on them. There is some light under the water. From what I can tell it is a form of luminescent algae.

Day 6 – Date Actual – Unknown

I swear I saw someone in the cockpit of the transport. I must be getting a bit nuts. Ships still scanning for other crashed craft. If I can find some parts I can fly right out of here... Maybe. I should be able to break out of the gravity well with FTL. I wonder if Earth still exists. Eight thousand years must have passed there now. Would they even be human anymore? I suppose we'll see when we get out of here won't we? Lithium Holiday, signing off.

Day 12 – Date Actual – Unknown

Okay someone is definitely here. They cancelled my scan for other crashed ships. I just can't find them. Maybe there are aquatic sentient beings living here. Twice now the scan has been stopped. I didn't think I'd have to do this, but I have pulled out the survival kit's side arm and personal shield generator. I'm setting a stake out tonight. I'm gonna get the little fishy bastards.

Day 16 – Date Actual – Unknown.

I've been awake for three days and nights now. Its hard to tell because it's always perma-dusk here. Whatever is out there is playing with me. They'll show up in the cockpit then while I'm up front they up near the aft of the ship. I'm going to set up some traps. That will teach them. Scan is still scanning. No hits yet. Running low on stimulants. Just need to make the one last night. I just know the scan is going to find something tomorrow.

Day 17 – Date Actual – Unknown

The stimulants are gone. I passed out. They canceled the damned scans again. Now the computer is saying 2.5 million years to scan a ten-kilometer radius again. Worst is they smashed the rescue beacon. Its well beyond repair. If only I had someone else to help me guard the ship. I might have been able to prevent it. I still have the scanners though and the computer even if the core is going a bit on the buggy side. I didn't have much hope of rescue. Now I have none. I don't even know why I'm bothering to keep these logs. No one will ever see them.

Day 30 – Date Actual – Unknown

Jason and I went fishing today. He's kind of dim-witted. But lovable, I guess. Still can't figure out how he got on my ship. It's military and he's a civilian from Luna City. I would complain and want him brought up on charges. At least he is company. It is funny, and embarrassing I suppose. I had an imaginary boyfriend from Luna City when I was thirteen. Jason reminds me of him. He even has the same name. And the abs. Imagine the coincidence. Oops, I suppose I should update this log on the progress of my escape plans. Ship is still scanning for other crashed ships. It said it had a hundred thousand years to go today, which is an improvement over 2 million I suppose.

Day 52 – Date Actual – Unknown

Jason and I…we made love last night. It was divine. Especially with the special fish. I hope I don't get pregnant the last thing I want to do is get a kid stuck here forever too. Wait why is the log recording computer stop! Stop! Ug Okay let's start without the reference to your really hot sex life Lithium! Computer erase previous… what is it? Oh yes, I was recording a log file. Jason has been good company under his watchful eye while I've slept the scans have not been interrupted. We have fished up a different flavor of fish. This one tastes like pike. I love pike. It seems like it may make the person eating it a bit loopy. However, I don't have an alcohol here so at least now I have Purple tentacle face to make up for it. I call them purple tent… never mind. Computer is still scanning on scanning on. Oh Jason! Stop! I'm trying to record a log file. Actually, never mind stopping yep finger right there… computer end log!

Day 60 – Date Actual – Unknown

I am starting to think Jason is hiding things from me. I see him talking to someone at the front of ship then when I go join him, he acts all innocent. The cheating bastard I know he's doing it with one of those fish woman. If I catch him anywhere near one of them, I kill him. He doesn't know where those fishy holes have been. Well, he's cut off now. Who knows what I might have caught from those fishy hoes? I'm going to catch him. I have a holo-cam set up.

Day 61 – Date Actual – Unknown

He's been messing with the holo-cam I set up. I saw him talking to one of those fish women over the side of the ship. And I checked the holo-cam and neither of them showed up on it! Of course he's cheating on me. I knew he was too perfect. Perfect abs. Perfect fingers. Perfect lover. I guess I wasn't enough for him. I guess he wanted fishushie. When he gets back from his latest fishy adventure, I'm going to feed him to them! The mafia way.

Day 64 – Date Actual – Unknown

I'm starting to worry. Jason hasn't come back. He said he'd be right back then he jumped into the water. I know he will be back. Just when. Wait no! I know why he's not coming back. He's gotten one of those fishy hussies knocked up. If he shows his perfectly toned ass around here, I'm gonna empty a magazine into him.

Day 76 - Date Actual – Unknown

Jason finally came back. He managed to talk me down before I filled him full of holes. We made beautiful love and then a miracle happened. The scanner found something! Jason started tearing me down immediately. Maybe I shouldn't have forgiven him so easily. He keeps telling me the computer is broken. But this is my ticket off of this water soak hell ball. Its right there. Six kilometers away. I can swim six kilometers no problem. Jason keeps grabbing me and trying to pull me towards the console. I finally gave in and when I saw it, he'd shot it up! With my gun. He was so desperate to keep me here he destroyed my one chance off this rock. Well, I remember where it was. I don't need the scanner or the map. Tonight, I get rid of the dead weight. Tomorrow, I will swim to freedom. He's going to learn men don't control Lithium Holiday. Lithium Holiday controls Lithium Holiday.

Day 77 – Date Actual – Unknown

It's done. That abusive, controlling cheating bastards is where he belongs dead. I hope those sneaky mermaid bitches enjoy him now. I feel liberated. I cut off the dead weight. I don't need a man. Now I just need to swim to freedom. Just six klicks from us there is a fully functional spaceship. I'm free. See you soon mom!

Day 80 – Local Time. Date: 2146 – November 23

Final log for Courier Transport Apollo 6. Major Alison Durant, Earth Force Alliance Intelligence. I have found the Courier Transport Apollo 6. The temporal alignment device worked. I was able to make planetfall. There is severe damage to the scanner. Ships' computers are completely corrupted. Log files in shielded container are secure. No sign of Courier Holiday. Suspect hostile forces. There are laser holes in various locations including the scanner interface. Taking samples of local wildlife. Their physiology may be unique. I will close out this logfile and deliver the contents to Earth Force Command. Once extracted I will ensure this ship cannot fall into enemy hands. Until evidence proves otherwise, list Courier Lithium Holiday as killed in action by enemy forces. This log file will close up final records of Courier Transport Apollo 6. Secure Pouch is also stable. Data is still viable. Close out log file ship.

Final Report – Courier Transport Apollo 6 – Incident
Analyst – Lieutenant, Junior Grade Orion Kinkade
Subject – Crash of Courier Transport Apollo 6 Report.
Official Cause of Death Report – Lithium Holiday

Upon review of logs and telemetry it appears as if the crash was caused by pilot error. She attempted a maneuver that contravened pilot guidelines while using FTL drives. Her failure to follow appropriate guidelines caused her to crash land on a water planet. Pilot survived crash. Log files indicate a steady decline in mental stability. Finally ending in Lithium Holiday taking her own life.

Analysis to avoid future occurrences. Reinforce guidelines in regard to Hell-Diving. Furthermore, reinforce standard policy that all natural food products discovered on an unexplored world are scanned sufficiently to ensure safety. In this case the subject ignored both policies and lost her life because of it.

Analysts commentary: If only she had lasted three more days, or just followed guidelines we would not have lost such a bright young woman.

File closed – Crash caused by pilot error; Pilot death caused by misadventure.