"and take everything I have, till there is nothing left. Till it's just your voice in my head. And when the lights come on, you see me as I am." HALESTORM

Here we have the moment where Kate finally has a very honest conversation with Jo.

Kate found it hard to keep track of time in the ICU, the hours and days seemed to blur into one foggy jumble. She was still exhausted and sleeping so much that there was no clear distinction between day and night.

Recovery remained a frustratingly slow process and Kate hated how quickly she would tire and how little she was able to do for herself. She was starting to realise just how ill she had been, just how close she had come to not being here at all.

She'd always been so fiercely independent, she had learnt early on that she couldn't be vulnerable or show weakness. And that was where she was at the moment. Weak and vulnerable and it scared her. More than anything she had faced before. Chasing suspects across the city, dangerous situations and undercover operations were nothing compared to acknowledging and accepting your own vulnerabilities and confronting the deepest, most painful emotions.

Asking for help was hard, really hard.

Regardless of how many times people told her that it was okay to accept help, that she was going to need it.

She had had a reason to fight, to keep going, she could find strength in that. And that strength started with being honest about her feelings. She had to speak to Jo.

Two days had passed since the conversation with Josh and though she was still weak, her head was the clearest it had been since she'd been in Hospital. Now was the time to start acting on the promises she had made.

"H-hi," Jo smiled at Kate as the nurse pushed her into the bay. Her recovery was going well and she was finally stable enough to be moved to a general ward, though her legs were still too shaky and her balance was not good enough to walk or stand for long.

It was a big step and a positive one at that but it meant she would be further away from Kate and that scared her.

She didn't want to do it all alone but she was still so scared of asking for help.

"Hi!" Kate smiled back at Jo, blushing slightly.

Even the thought of what she wanted to tell Jo made her chest feel tight. The heart rate monitor she was still attached to seemed to beep that bit quicker every time she thought of her.

She wanted to be honest, she had promised herself that she would. She'd had a lot of time to think in recent days and knew she had to make changes and she didn't want to go back to how things were before. She'd been given a second chance at life and knew she needed to change, to try and be more open about her feelings. A small part of her was still scared, scared to be vulnerable.

"It's good to s-see you," Kate greeted Jo properly.

"I'm s… s-sorry, f… f-for ev… e-everth…ing," Jo hung her head, unable to meet Kate's eyes. There was so much Jo wanted to say but making sense of her feelings and what had happened was hard and finding the right words to express them seemed almost impossible. Almost. She had to try. She had to apologise. Make sure it was heard. Kate deserved that much at least.

Kate was slightly taken aback at the sincerity of Jo's apology and as far as she was concerned she wasn't sure why Jo was apologising.

"Jo, you have nothing to be sorry for." Kate insisted. She took a moment to really look at Jo and although her mind was still a little foggy it was clear the scot was struggling and carrying a too heavy a burden that wasn't really hers to bear.

"I… i-it's a-all m… m-my f… f-fault," Jo stuttered quietly, still looking down at the floor.

Kate's heart ached, she could sense Jo's distress and all she wanted to do was wrap her arms around her and tell her everything would be okay.

"Jo, look at me."

Kate reached slowly out and took hold of Jo's hand, offering comfort as best she could. Feeling less out of breath and wheezy which made it easier for her to talk.

"I know, n-none of this was your f-fault. You tried to save me, y-you did s-save me."

Jo shrugged weakly in response.

Getting Jo to open up, the connection between them. The moment back in the Hill, brushing hands, offering support.

"You s-saved me Jo," Kate insisted. "if it wasn't for y-you, calling the a-ambulance and trying to s-stop the bleeding, then I wouldn't be here. You could have run, e-escaped but you didn't. You st-stayed and s-saved me, even with the con-consequences it had for you."

Jo choked back a sob. She was still having to fight against the years of conditioning and control and the dark grip that they still had on her mind. She'd saved Kate. Steve had already told her as much, but hearing Kate say it, knowing that she had been able to help, meant so much.

"C… c-course I s… s-saved y… y-you. W… w-wouldn't ch… ch-change th… th-that." Jo really meant it too. Kate had been the one person to really see her, her light in the darkness. That was how the OCG had finally fallen. They had under-estimated just how far Jo would go to save someone she loved.

"All I can say is thank you. Thank you so much Jo. More than I can ever put into words."

"Y-you s… s-still g-got h… h-hurt. T-then s… s-so s-sick," Jo replied sadly. The guilt radiated from her fragile form.

"That's n-not on you Jo," Kate insisted. "Didn't sh-shoot me. Not r-responsible for me g-getting s-sick either."

"T-tried t… to g-give y-you a w… w-way o… o-out. W-warn y-you."

"And I chose t-to st-stay."

"Sh- sh… ould h…h-have taken the t… t-trans… f-fer," Jo mumbled. Her words were slightly slurred and shaky beneath the Scottish lilt.

"You s-should have t-told me what was g-going on," Kate retaliated.

"I c-could have h-helped, Jo, r-really. I would have d-done all I c-could to h-help…"

Jo shrugged again.

"I w… w-wasn't s… s-sure, at f… f-first."

"Sure about what?"

"If y-you w… w-were p-pre… t… t-tending." Jo stuttered.

"I w-wasn't." Kate insisted. "I w-wasn't pretending."

"I k… k-know," Jo whispered in return. "I h… h-heard. W-when y… y-you w… w-were t-talk… ing t-to m… m-me."

"I heard you too," Kate replied.

"But n-now you're h-here, in f-front of me, I n-need to s-say it again."

Kate took a deep breath and looked Jo in the eyes. "I l-love you."

She smiled, her eyes filling with tears. "I r-really fucking love y-you Jo."

Jo fell quiet for a moment, she smiled back at Kate. "I l… l-love you t… t-too."

Bernie stood by the Nurses Station watching Kate and Jo as they exchanged tears and shared declarations of love. Such a scene was a rarity given the nature of her work and she couldn't help but smile.

It was clear that they were both still hurting and she knew that they would need time to heal but they were very much alive and fighting. She savoured the moment, a moment of joy and grace that seldom happened working in ICU and trauma care.

Patients like Jo and Kate. Their stories filled her with hope and fiery determination to keep going, keep learning and to keep saving lives. Bernie reflected on what it had taken to save them and just how much they had both been through in recent weeks. There had been many moments where the outcome could have been different and they had both come so very close to not surviving at all.

Kate was barely alive when she arrived at the hospital, her vital signs dangerously low. It had been a fight to repair the damage caused by the bullet before she lost too much blood. Then she had crashed, for 10 minutes. They had got her back but now she was faced with the very real possibility of neurological damage. In most cases, the brain can't survive without oxygen for more than 5 minutes, yet Kate had survived twice that. She woke up and was beginning to recover until she developed sepsis. It was always a risk but Kate had gotten so ill, so quickly, to the point where she was one of the most critically unwell patients in the whole hospital. Her blood pressure dropped dangerously low as her body headed towards multiple organ failure. Her chances of survival had been so dire they were in the single digits. It was then that Bernie was faced with having the conversation she always dreaded with Steve. Telling friends and relatives that there was little more they could do for their loved ones remained the hardest part of her job. She wouldn't forget the look on his face or the pain in his eyes as he learned the devastating reality of his best's friend's situation.

But Kate made it through, in the face of everything stacked against her, she fought and she lived.

Jo had been even worse off. She hadn't been breathing at all when she arrived at the hospital. She'd almost called it then, decided her injuries were too grave to be compatible with life. Other Doctors might have, but Bernie never gave up not when there was still a chance, no matter how small.

It had taken the skills of the entire trauma team, pushed to their limit to save them both but they had done it. They had both come through so much, and to see them now, still weak and with a long recovery ahead of them but so very much alive, it made the long hours and tiring shifts worth it.

Kate and Jo were both conscious and breathing, weak but fighting and they were getting stronger every day. Having both been on the cusp of death, it was what some might call a miracle. Bernie didn't believe in miracles, she'd seen too much shit for that. But it was hope, it was fuel to the fire, to keep fighting. Hope, that lives could be saved. The pride in every victory.

How they had overcome the odds, looked death in the face and survived, it reminded her why she still did the job.

Why she took on some of the most complex trauma cases, why she had dedicated her life to treating the patients that other medics had declared too broken.

She supposedly ranked as one of the top trauma surgeons in the UK, though she didn't care much for statistics. She just wanted to do her job, the job she was good at. The job where she spent her days doing all she possibly could to save lives.

Because, sometimes, on rare days such as these, she could stand in the face of death and claim victory.

Over the many years working in trauma surgery and as an army Doctor on the battlefields she had come to realise just how fragile the human body was. After all, she had first hand experience of how breakable it can be, how one moment can change everything. Still, she kept going, she kept going every day fighting to save lives, even though the battles were often lost. What made it all worthwhile was days like these. Because just sometimes, despite the overwhelming odds, everyone lived.

This is what it meant to be a Doctor. It was more than just fixing people. It was about second chances, giving people the chance to live the life they should have lived.