Twenty-one Weeks at Quantico

By: Lesera128

Rated: T

Disclaimer: I own nothing... Obviously. Just playing in someone else's sandbox for a bit.

Summary: When the FBI establishes a pilot program for consultants to receive training at the FBI academy, Brennan and Booth clash over whether she should enroll. AU.

6. T-minus 1 Week until Orientation

"So, you're really okay with her doing this?" Sweets asked.

Booth stopped stirring his coffee. He placed the spoon back on the counter and shrugged. "I didn't say that."

"Then you're not okay with it?" Sweets pressed.

"Sweets, I thought we went over the rules about shrinking before the start of normal business hours," Booth admonished.

Smiling guiltily, Sweets said, "Sorry… old habit…."

Reaching for his cup, Booth lifted it to his mouth. He stopped just short of taking a sip before he said, "Look, Bones… she's always done what she's going to do. This isn't any different. It's important to her… and she's going. That's it."

"Seriously?" Sweets asked.

Drinking his coffee, Booth nodded. "Yeah, Sweets. That's it."

Much later that day, Booth tried to open the front door as quietly as he could. Walking into the family room, he saw Jared's feet propped up on the coffee table. A baby monitor sat in front of him as Jared was surfing through the late night talk show channels. When he saw his older brother, he nodded, "Hey, Seeley."

Coming to sit down next to his brother, Booth plopped down on the couch. "Hey."

"Rough day?"

Booth shrugged. "Just long."

Jared nodded. "Well, you look much better than Tempe… but that's not saying much."

Glancing at the clock, Booth said, "What time did she get in?"

"About an hour ago, I guess. She was so tired she could barely stand up straight. She said she was going to go straight to bed so I told her I'd wait up until you got back, but I think she might be in the nursery."

Nodding at the monitor, Booth said, "How'd that go?"

Jared shrugged. "Not too bad… she woke up a little fussy a couple of hours ago. I'm not sure if she was just hungry, or if it's that bottom tooth she's cutting that's still bothering her. I gave her one of the smaller bottles of formula, and that seemed to do the trick, so I think she might have just been hungry."

Standing to leave, Jared gathered his jacket and keys. Booth also stood and walked his brother to the front door. The pair clasped in a one-armed hug.

"Thanks again for covering with Chrissy, Jared," Booth said.

"No problem, bro. She's always a cheap date so I have no complaints," Jared laughed.

Booth nodded. "Yeah... well, it's not like we have a lot of choices in babysitters-"

Jared grinned. "Max and I are thinking about starting a business, ya know? Booth and Keenan Babysitters."

At this, Booth frowned. "That image is seriously disturbing to me."

Laughing, Jared said, "Yeah, well, you and Tempe start a serious relationship, move in together, and have a baby without telling anyone outside of your families... your choices are extremely limited as to who you have to baby-sit, bro... so you just gotta deal."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Booth said.

Jared nodded at him. "Call me later in the week once you've gotten some shut eye?"

Booth nodded. "Sure."

Jared smiled and waved goodbye to his brother before he walked out the front door. Booth shut and locked it behind him. He took the time necessary to secure his gun, but was too tired to complete anymore of his normal post-work evening routine. He shrugged out of his suit jacket and tossed it on the back of the couch, shut off the TV and lights, grabbed the baby monitor from the table, and headed towards the bedroom. Walking down the hallway, he stopped when he noticed the nursery door was cracked open since they usually left it closed when the baby was sleeping. Although everything within seemed dark and quiet, Booth decided to look inside to check on the baby... just in case. Opening the door an inch wider, he stuck his head in the door and felt his heart melt a little bit more at the sight that greeted his eyes.

Brennan sat in the rocking chair near the nursery's window. Although her hair was pulled back into a pony tail, he saw that she was wearing the same rumpled blouse and skirt she had worn at the lab earlier in the day. The pumps she had been wearing at work lay kicked off and discarded to the side of the rocking chair. Brennan had a burp cloth slung haphazardly over her shoulder while a pillow sat on her lap. Nestled on top of the pillow, pulled as close to Brennan as she comfortablely could arrange it, Booth saw their daughter laying on her stomach, covered lightly with a soft pink cotton blanket. At not quite eight months old, her head was still covered with a small cap that Booth knew Brennan insisted she wear all the time so she wouldn't get cold. Chrissy did not agree with her mother on this point, and somehow managed to take the hat off whenever she was awake and aware she was wearing it. Thus, Booth guessed she must have fallen asleep, or been falling asleep, when Brennan adjusted it on her head. Two small little feet peaked out from under the blanket wearing multi-colored stripped socks. Her rhythmic breathing told Booth the baby was in a fairly deep sleep… as was her mother. Brennan's hands had come to rest lightly on the baby's back while her head leaned forward slightly in an exhausted slumber.

Moving towards the chair, Booth placed the baby monitor he had on the changing table and walked to where Brennan sat with the baby. Before moving to disturb the mother and daughter, Booth pulled his cell phone out of his trouser pocket and quickly turned on its camera function. He couldn't help himself as he snapped a few photos before pocketing the camera with a small smile. Then, carefully, as gently and as cautiously as he could, Booth brushed Brennan's hands aside and swept the baby forward in one fluidic movement. The baby gurgled at the movement, but remained asleep as her father walked and placed her in the crib. Tucking the blanket around her, he adjusted the scattered stuffed animals around her so that she would see her favorite green seahorse when she awoke. He placed a kiss on her cap-covered head, and then turned to tend to her mother.

Booth frowned as he quickly took stock of Brennan. She was even more pale than normal, dark circles ringing her eyes and new lines having etched into her forehead at some recent point in the not too distant past. Her sleep did not look restful, but appeared to be one driven out of sheer necessity. He was willing to venture that her current state was due to pure exhaustion. It had been a lot like this since their discussion in the bath tub. She had finally voiced her fears... and now, now, she was ruthlessly trying to work as hard as possible to prove to herself that she wasn't what she most feared turning into... either at the lab as Dr. Brennan or at home as mother to her daughter. The end result was that she was already depleting what little reserves she could squirell away when she and Booth spent time alone together, and she had time to recharge her batteries. Stolen moments... pilfered hours here and there... he knew... he *knew* that if she wasn't careful that she would burn out... and never make it through the training upon which she was about to embark... He had been through it... when he was a lot younger than her... he knew what it took, and given her current state, he began to doubt if she *did* have the ability to finish the training.

But, he couldn't tell her something like this... not when it touched on so many issues that cut her to the quick. And, so, like many things in her life... he let her do it her way, even if her way was the hard way, and just tried to be there to ease the strain whenever he could. Yet another positive, if unintended, consequence of his rejecting Cullen's offer to join Brennan in the program - he could be there for her. If he had had any doubts about his choice before now, seeing Brennan like this, they disappeared. He knew he was right... and he was happy he had made the decision he did. In taking pleasure in that fact, it helped lessen and distract him from the slew of issues that he was trying his best to not let overwhelm him.

Grabbing the baby monitor from the changing table, he popped it into his pocket and then moved forward and awkwardly lifted Brennan from where she sat. He knew it was a bad sign when she didn't so much as flinch when he pulled into his arms. Sighing, Booth shifted as much as possible to pull the nursery door partially shut behind them.

Walking down the hallway to the master bedroom, he kicked open the partially-closed door and gently placed Brennan down on her side of the bed. Brennan snuggled down into the softness of the unmade bed with a contented sigh. Deciding he would change before tending to Brennan, Booth went to the dresser, and pulled out a couple of t-shirts. He kicked off his work loafers and quickly took off his tie, dress shirt, and suit trousers. Pulling the t-shirt over his head, Booth clicked off the lamps on his dresser and nightstand. He walked over to where Brennan had already partially rolled herself into a ball - her preferred sleeping position.

Although he didn't really want to disturb her, he knew she would be cranky if she slept in the clothes that she had been wearing for more than eighteen hours already. He ran a hand along her exposed forearm.

"Bones," he said quietly.

There was no response.

He frowned, feeling even more guilty when he thought on how tired she was. But, really, waking her up for a fw minutes now would save them both a lot of grief later. He leaned down, gave her a gentle nudge.

"Wakey, wakey, Bones."

Still… Brennan didn't move. Tired himself, and becoming annoyed that she was delaying his own slumber, Booth bent his head and began to kiss her along the exposed edge of her jaw. It took a moment, but at last, Brennan moaned in a sign of life.

"Mmmmm…."

"Come on, Bones… wake up."

Brennan's eyes fluttered open. It took them a moment to focus on Booth looking down at her. She smiled, and then suddenly, in shock, jerked straight up. "Chrissy?"

"In bed and asleep."

"What time is it?"

"Late," Booth said. "I only woke you up so you could change."

Brennan frowned. He nodded at her. "Come on, if you sit up, I'll help you."

Brennan's frown deepened into a pout. Booth nodded, and Brennan sighed, "Fine."

Still half asleep, she struggled into a better sitting position. She hastily pulled the button down top over her head, not even bothering to undo the buttons. She tossed it unceremoniously on the floor. Her bra followed. She lifted her arms straight up in the air, and Booth helped her shrug the t-shirt down over her head. Lifting her hips, she shrugged out of her skirt and also tossed that on the floor. Her movements ceased after she reached behind her head, pulled the elastic holding her ponytail loose, and tossed that on the nightstand. She then fell back into bed with a sigh, and turned over on her side, pulling the comforter with her.

Booth, watching all of this, chuckled. He stood, moved to his side of the bed, climbed in, and reached for Brennan. He tried to pull her towards him, but found she was already asleep again. Instead, he moved closer to her, and placed a kiss on her forehead. Within a couple of minutes, he too was fast asleep.

About four hours later, Booth's eyes shot open as he heard the familiar rustling that usually preceded one of Chrissy's crying jags. Apparently, Brennan had heard it as well. She rolled over so that she was drapped across his chest and lifted her head to look at the alarm clock on his nightstand.

"I'll go," Booth mumbled, moving to get out of the bed.

"Wait," Brennan murmured. "Maybe she won't."

"Bones, you know she always does."

"Just wait a minute. Maybe... maybe we'll be lucky."

Booth sighed, but stopped moving. However, after about two or three minutes, the cries began to intensify.

"I'll get her," Booth said.

Pushing him down with her hand, Brennan shook her head with a sigh. "No, I'll go."

"Bones—"

"I got it," Brennan repeated, amazing Booth to see she was as awake and coherent as she was given her state of exhaustion only a few hours before.

Stumbling out of bed, she disappeared and Booth was again surprised when she returned a few moment later with their daughter. Since they had moved Chrissy from the bassinet they had kept in their bedroom for the first twelve weeks of her life to the crib in the nursery, Brennan had resisted bringing the baby back into the bedroom at night. She insisted that such back and forth movements would undermine the change in sleeping environment and upset their efforts to acclimate her to the crib. The baby was no longer crying, just awake… her head having lost its cap in the night... or been pulled away by the baby... who was to say? Brennan had grabbed the pink blanket and stuffed seahorse and brought them with the baby. Climbing into her side of the bed, Brennan laid down on her back and adjusted the baby so that she lay on her chest. Chrissy, a watchful child, seemed content to continue staring at her mother as she sucked on her pacifier. When she saw Booth, she shifted her head back and forth between her parents, particularly once Booth scooted over and laid on his side with his arm propping up his head as he watched Brennan.

"Bones, I thought you said that it wasn't good to bring her in here at night?"

"It's probably not, but I don't care right now," Brennan said. "She was fine... well, not fine... tangled in the blankets... once I got her settled she stopped crying... but I didn't want to leave her... so I… I-I miss her, Booth."

The arm that lay resting on his hip came over and gently caressed the light brown fuzz that currently served as their daughter's hair. At first, shortly after her birth, her hair had been as dark as his, and Booth had hoped she would have his hair coloring since Parker didn't. As the first few weeks and months went by, it became clear that her eyes would continue to resemble Brennan's, but her hair remained enigmatic. At times, in the sunlight, it had a reddish tint like her mother's. At times, it was as dark as his. Recently, it had begun to lighten a shade so that it wasn't as dark as Booth's hair, but neither as light as her mother's.

He remained quiet as Brennan took a breath and said, "I… I know I'm making the right choice to start the training at the Academy… I have to do it... for me... I need to... but… I… there's a part of me that was already feeling so guilty about having gone back to work when she was so little. I… am I a bad mother since I'm missing so much with her? Am I making another mistake here... hurting her?"

Booth shook his head, "No… of course, not Bones. You asked me about that before she was born, and my answer's still the same. You're a wonderful mother, and Chrissy's a lucky little girl."

"I—"

"Bones, what we do isn't an easy job… and… I'm not gonna lie and say with you being at Quantico for the next five months, it's not going to get even harder. Longer days, less time with Chrissy… you just have to learn to enjoy the time we do have together and not let the guilt take the focus off of where it's supposed to be when you are with her," Booth said. "Besides... it's not like you won't see her... see me... you'll still see us each night during the week when you come home... I'm not going to lie and say you won't be tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, and exhausted when you are here... that's kinda what the Academy does to a person... but you will still see us."

"Do you think I can do what I need to do?" Brennan asked suddenly.

Booth was quiet for a moment before he said honestly, "I think… I think this is going to be very hard for you, Bones. And I don't just mean missing Chrissy."

"Then what do you mean?"

"You said it yourself a long time ago... during that very first case if you remember… organizations like the Bureau have a way of trying to constrain individuality and independence… and you're a very independent person, Bones. You've been doing things your own way for a long time... and that's when you're at your best... not how you are right now."

"And how am I right now?"

"Run down-" Booth said honestly. "Run down from buring both ends of the candle at the same time..."

"What does that mean?"

"It means... you're trying to do your job at the lab like you used... before you were a mother... doing it in exactly the same way during the day and coming home at night to be a mother to a newborn... and not leaving any time for yourself inbetween," Booth said.

"I- I'll sleep this weekend, Booth... I'll be ready by the time Orientation starts on Monday... and I can conform… if you can do it, so can I, Booth," Brennan said.

Booth raised an eyebrow. "I know you have to at least try, Bones… but don't forget I had a really good practice run before I went into the Bureau. Spending almost ten years in the Army kinda gets you used to following the rules and taking orders... not just giving them."

"You were very young when you joined," Brennan acknowledged.

Booth shrugged. "Straight out of college, yeah… but it got my degree paid for… and… it was good for me when I was younger… the hierarchy helped keep me where I needed to be at the time I needed to be there." Booth paused before he said, "In the Rangers, if I was given an order by my superiors, I had to follow it, Bones… no matter what my personal opinion was… even if I didn't agree with it, even if I thought I knew better. I still did what I was told."

Frowning, Brennan said, "You don't think I can follow orders?"

"I think," Booth said carefully, "It's going to be difficult for you if you think that your choice is the right one to make… especially if that choice conflicts with what your superior tells you to do." He said softly, "There's more to be an agent than carrying a gun and catching bad guys, Bones."

Brennan nodded. "I know… but, you know I have to try, Booth."

He bent over and kissed her on the cheek. Pulling back with a smile, he said, "I know, Bones. And do I think you can do what you need to do to get where you need to go? 'Course. You always do."

"Really?"

"Sure," Booth said with a smile, knowing she needed to hear the reassurance from him. "Aren't you always the one telling me how steep your learning curve is?"

And, at this, despite her fatigue and guilt and the fact that the baby would be off her schedule in the morning because of this late night deviation, Brennan grinned. And so did Booth.

-TBC-