If Kurt Hummel were to make a list of the top 5 awkward moments in his life, this may have just made it onto that list somewhere. Sitting on one side of the room in a recliner was Dave, who had his hands clasped together while staring down at his thumbs. Sitting on the sofa across from him were Kurt and his father, with Carole sitting on the arm of the sofa right next to Burt.
Kurt glanced over and noticed Carole's hands on his father's shoulders, where she was rubbing them in an attempt to relax him. He quickly glanced over at Dave and then back to his father. You could almost cut the tension in the room with a knife. Burt was just staring at Dave, waiting for him to start talking about whatever he had shown up to say.
Burt knew of all of the changes Dave had been making in school. He knew about how Dave had been protecting Kurt in an attempt to make sure no one bullied him or harassed him at McKinley. He knew about their plans to create a chapter of PFLAG. He knew he had joined New Directions. But that clearly hadn't helped Burt feel more comfortable around Dave like it had with Kurt.
After a few more moments of awkward silence, Kurt felt the urge to roll his eyes at the situation. Actually, Kurt thought, maybe I should start laughing. It was one of those times where he thought he might have been daydreaming again. Really, who would've thought that his former-bully-turned-friend would show up at his house to talk about something with his father?
Reality soon set in again, and rethinking what was going on made Kurt nervous. He cleared his throat loudly, which was obviously an attempt to get Dave to look up from staring at his thumbs.
It worked.
Dave looked up and over at Kurt. He looks scared... Kurt thought.
It was at this time that Burt decided to finally say something. "Were you planning on talking soon?"
Dave looked at Burt, nodding nervously. "Yes, sir. Sorry, sir."
His use of 'sir' made Kurt smirk slightly, but that didn't settle his nerves one bit.
Burt nodded back, acknowledging for him to continue.
Dave swallowed hard, looking back at his thumbs before unclasping his hands to rub at his knees. He looked back up at Burt, nodding once more. "I um... I just wanted to apologize to you for what happened last year." He paused for a brief moment. "I know I've apologized to Kurt, but I felt like I owed the same to you."
Silence seeped back into the room. Kurt turned his head just barely enough to look at his father, who was just staring at David with a blank expression.
"This is really hard for me to talk about, Mr. Hummel," Dave continued. Kurt's nerves increased with that statement. He wasn't sure if Dave meant the whole bullying situation, or if Dave meant... well, no, he couldn't have meant that, Kurt told himself. "I know you don't like me very much, and that's completely understandable."
Burt sighed, looking Dave over before speaking. "Look, Dave... I really do appreciate everything you've been doing for Kurt since he went back to McKinley. But you're right." Burt looked over at Kurt before turning back. "He may have forgiven you for what you did. And he may be trying to be a friend to you now, but... I still don't trust you, you understand?"
"Dad," Kurt said. He knew that his father didn't know or understand everything that had happened between him and Dave, yet he really wanted him to stop treating Dave like he would go back to his old ways at any moment.
"Kurt, it's okay," Dave replied. He nodded again, looking at Burt. "I understand, Mr. Hummel. I've been uh... trying to do the right thing since then. Make changes. Become a better man." He looked down at the carpet so that they couldn't see his eyes. "Kurt's told me a bunch of times that he's forgiven me for the things I did to him, but... honestly?" Dave looked back up to meet Kurt's gaze, "I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to forgive myself."
Burt had noticed Dave said that while looking right at Kurt, almost as if he was saying it only to him. He glanced back and forth between the two a few times, thinking over what the young jock had said. "Sometimes it's good to have certain regrets," he responded. "Helps to make sure you never do anything similar again."
Dave thought about Burt's statement before finally saying, "yeah." He looked down at the carpet once more, sighing, before he began to nod. It was like he was telling himself that it was true-that he would never make a mistake like what he done to Kurt ever again.
He opened his mouth to say something, yet paused to gather his thoughts. "The... the real reason for um, why I wanted to come over here and talk to you..." Dave trailed off. "I wanted to tell you the truth."
Burt turned his head slightly to the boy, where his face suddenly had a confused expression. "The truth about what?"
Dave glanced over at Kurt. Kurt's mouth was open slightly and he shook his head, trying to tell David that he didn't have to do whatever he was about to do. Dave looked away quickly.
"The truth about why I was bullying Kurt... why I threatened him."
Unsurprisingly, Burt grew a little agitated. This wasn't something that the household discussed often, especially with Burt's heart scare last year. His voice was raised slightly when he began to speak again. "Because you had a problem with my son being gay? Because you didn't want him to tell anyone that you were hurting him because of that?"
Dave quickly grew even more uncomfortable, shifting in the old recliner a little. "Not exactly, sir."
Kurt still didn't know what was going on or what was about to be said, but his nerves were getting the best of him. "David..." Dave looked over at Kurt again, noticing how worried he looked. He smiled softly, though he knew it still looked sad.
Burt, once again, noticed the silent interaction between the two teenagers, causing him to become even more confused than before. "Alright, I don't understand. What's going on?"
Dave sighed, "Mr. Hummel, you're right. I did have a problem with Kurt being gay, but... it wasn't for the reasons that you had been thinking of."
"What?" Burt was shaking his head slightly.
"I um... I had been having a lot of problems for the last few years. I was always so worried about being liked and fitting in... I didn't want people to look at me and see me for who I really was... who I really am," Dave's voice had begun to start cracking. He had practiced what he had wanted to say to Mr. Hummel so many times since his last conversation with Kurt in the choir room.
Dave had taken a few moments to pause, where Kurt could hear him breathing loudly. He finally continued with everything he had wanted to say-things he hadn't even been able to tell Kurt alone. "I spent so much time hating myself. And it made me turn into somebody I didn't even recognize," he nodded. "I hurt your son because I was confused about who I really was... and I was scared... and I was jealous."
Kurt could feel his eyes getting misty. He had known that Dave had gone through a lot over the past few years while trying to figure himself out, but this was the first time he was actually hearing it from Dave. It made him think about how he felt before he came out to everyone.
Yes, he hadn't bullied anyone for being gay, but he remembered how lonely he was... how scared he was... how he felt like he wasn't sure of who he was supposed to be.
He looked over at his father, who was still staring at Dave with a confused expression on his face. He was blinking many times, just like he always did when he was processing a situation. Kurt looked back at Dave when he started speaking again.
"Kurt wasn't hiding who he was. He wasn't afraid to tell people the truth... and I was. And I hurt him because of that. I was a coward. I was afraid... and I still am." Dave was surprised that he was able to say all of this without breaking down. He felt proud of himself for the first time in a long time, but knew that there was still that one piece of information left to say.
Burt leaned forward a bit. "Are you trying to tell me that you're-"
"I'm gay, Mr. Hummel," Dave interrupted.
Kurt quickly glanced over to look at Burt and Carole, waiting for some sort of reaction out of either of them. Both had their mouths open slightly, though neither of them looked confused anymore. It was like they were piecing together everything that had happened in the past between Kurt and Dave. The situation had once made sense to them in one way, yet now made sense in another that was completely different.
Burt turned to look at Carole before moving his gaze to look out one of the windows in the room. "I... don't really know what to say," he stated. Kurt was glad that his father was taking the time to think everything over instead of blurting out something that he may have regretted in the end.
It wasn't until Burt glanced over at Kurt that his nerves increased once again. "Did you already know about this?"
Kurt wasn't sure if his dad was angry, upset, or just asking the question out of curiosity. "Yes," he replied, though he hated how shaky his voice sounded.
Dave finally spoke up again, clearly wondering if Burt was angry or upset as well. "Mr. Hummel, I'm so sorry about everything... I know it's not enough."
Burt was still staring at Kurt. "How long have you known?"
"For awhile..."
"Before you went to Dalton?"
"...yes." Kurt couldn't help but notice how intense his father was looking at this point. He wasn't sure of what was going on in Burt's head, but he was now wondering if he should've lied and said that he hadn't found out until after he went back to McKinley.
"It was my fault, sir," Dave interrupted again. "Please don't be mad at him."
Burt finally turned his head away from Kurt to look back at Dave. "Is that why you threatened my son? Because you were afraid he'd tell someone?"
Dave clasped his hands together again, looking down as he rubbed his thumbs together. "Yes, sir," he said, sighing a little to himself.
"How did you even find out?" Burt asked, looking back at Kurt.
This was the one question that Kurt was hoping his father would not ask. He had been debating how he would answer this in his head ever since Dave had admitted that he was gay moments earlier. Do I tell him about the kiss? Do I not tell him about the kiss? If not, how would I have found out? By overhearing Dave? By Dave telling me?
These were many of the thoughts that instantly came into Kurt's mind, along with the fact that he hadn't spoken to Dave about the actual kiss since, well... about a year ago. Even so, they really hadn't discussed it then anyways. He felt sweat beginning to form on his forehead, and he realized he still hadn't said anything yet. Kurt glanced at Dave, where he saw his eyebrows come together. He was obviously having similar thoughts at that moment.
"He told me," Kurt said quickly. It may have came out of his mouth too quickly by the look on his father's face, but he continued anyways. "I followed him to the locker room one day last year. And we were yelling at each other," he looked back at Dave. "And he just told me."
Burt looked at the floor, leaning back against the sofa. He took a deep breath and seemed to relax a bit, though Kurt understood that this was a lot to take in after everything that had happened. He never wanted to lie to his father last year, but... he felt like outing Dave when the bullying had started would've been just as bad as what Dave had been doing to him.
Carole put her left hand on Burt's back, rubbing it to try and make him calm down more. "Have you told your parents?" she asked.
Dave looked up at her with sad eyes before shaking his head. "No," he replied. "I'm... just, not yet."
She nodded briefly, turning back to Burt who was now looking at Dave again. His face was unreadable, but didn't look nearly as intense as it had a minute before.
Burt stood up from the sofa, looking down at Dave. Kurt wasn't sure if he should stand too, though Dave must've been having the same thought as he stood up from the recliner. He shoved his hands into his pockets, obviously waiting for Burt to tell him to leave.
Kurt's father stood there for a moment, glancing over Dave's face before finally speaking. "It took a lot of guts to come here and tell me the truth."
Dave just nodded.
Burt stuck his hand out, waiting for Dave to shake it. "If you, uh... ever need anybody to talk to..."
"Yes, sir," Dave replied, shaking Burt's hand. Burt nodded and walked out of the room. Kurt realized it was an awkward ending, though he really wasn't sure what would've been more appropriate at that moment.
It was obvious that Burt wasn't sure of what to say to David. It was probably for the best that he left the room to get away from everyone in order to gather his thoughts.
Carole stood up from the arm of the sofa, touching Dave's arm lightly before walking out of the room too.
Kurt was still sitting down, wondering what had just happened in their living room. He looked up at Dave, who was still standing in front of the recliner with his hands in his pockets. He eventually looked down at Kurt and shrugged lightly. "Um, I guess I'm gonna get going," he said.
"I'll walk you out," Kurt nodded.
They both walked out onto the front porch, closing the door behind them. Dave stood on the top step of the stairs and turned to look at Kurt.
"What made you come over here and do that?" Kurt was asking out of curiosity.
Dave smiled a little bit. "A lot of things... you. Quinn."
"Quinn?"
"She knows."
Kurt opened his mouth slightly, turning his head to look down at the porch floor. He laughed a little to himself before looking back up and smiling. "You told her?"
"Kind of," Dave smirked. "I wasn't really able to flat out say it like I did just then with your dad, but... she knows."
Dave started playing with the hem of his jacket, looking to his left and his right quickly like he always did when he got nervous.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Dave nodded. "I mean... this is good for me, right?"
Kurt smiled softly. "Yeah. One step at a time."
"I'm sorry if your dad's upset with you or anything."
Kurt nodded. He wasn't really sure if Burt was or not, at this point. "He'll get over it if he is," he replied. "So... does anybody else know then?" He couldn't help but wonder if Dave had told anyone else since talking to Quinn.
"No... I'm uh," he sighed. "Not ready to tell my parents yet... or anybody, really." He shoved his hands back into his pockets.
Kurt nodded once more. There were a few moments of silence, before Dave turned around and took another step down the stairs of the front porch. "Hey, Dave?"
Dave stopped to look back up at Kurt, "yeah?"
Kurt moved forward, taking one step down the stairs to stand in front of Dave. He was slightly taller, since Dave had been on the second-to-top step, and he wrapped his arms around Dave's shoulders to pull him in for a hug.
Dave hesitated, but then brought his arms around Kurt's waist to hug back. He had always wondered what this moment would feel like... what it'd be like to have Kurt in his arms... what it'd be like to be able to hold him. But he quickly discarded those thoughts and pulled back, smiling up at Kurt.
Kurt smiled back at Dave, though he was beginning to wonder why he wished he could've hugged Dave for a few moments longer.
He saw the jock turn around and walk down the rest of the stairs. Dave opened the door to his truck, giving a small wave to Kurt before getting inside and starting it up.
He heard the front door open, but he didn't turn around to see who it was. He sat down on the front steps as Dave drove down the street, looking over to his left to see his father sit down next to him.
"Hey, kiddo."
Kurt smiled softly, "hi, Dad."
Burt nudged his son's shoulder lightly. "I'm sorry if I sounded like I was upset with you in there."
Kurt shrugged, "it's okay."
They sat there on the steps for a few minutes silently, watching a few cars pass on the street in front of their house.
Kurt took a deep breath, still staring into the street. "Do you think I did the wrong thing by not outing him last year?"
His father quickly glanced over at him. "Do you?"
He smiled again. "No," Kurt said, shaking his head and looking at him.
Burt smiled too, patting him on the back. "Well, alright then."