I tried to wrap things up in this chapter but I couldn't. Kate and Rick don't exactly scream smooth ride. I still don't own them.
Your support in the last chapter blew me away. Thanks to all.
When Kate walks back into the emergency room a while later, it's to a much calmer environment. The chatter of nurses and the hustle and bustle of busy doctors have died down. She stands hesitantly at the door surveying the waiting room, and mostly just trying to stop the overwhelming guilt and worry from swallowing her again. It's a struggle. Being back here reminds her of what she's managed to escape for the last two hours. Rick is in surgery; Rick is still in danger.
Lanie has fallen asleep, her head balanced on Javier's shoulder. Kate can practically see the restraint he's employing to stop from wrapping his arms around her. For a second, despite everything, she suppresses a smile. The ME still thinks she has a secret under her belt.
As she walks into the room, Kevin gives her a small, tired smile, which Kate returns wearily.
The only other people in the room are Martha and Alexis, who are still maintaining a silent vigil, eyes wide open.
Gina isn't there.
Relief wells in Kate before she can stop it and a moment later she feels disgusted with herself. What kind of person is glad when the girlfriend of someone who's in surgery is nowhere to be found? Someone who's in love with that other someone in surgery, Kate's subconscious answers. It's not easy watching her cry and keeping your own tears from falling.
Taking a deep breath, Kate sits next to Alexis and asks, "Have you heard anything?"
Alexis shakes her head and looks at Kate. "You look better…"
"Couldn't stay in scrubs forever…" Kate can't miss the frigid tone of the teenager's voice. She can tell that even if everyone else forgives her, Alexis doesn't. Alexis, no matter how mature and how responsible, is a child, and the man who is hurt is her daddy. That's all. "Where's Gina?" Kate asks softly.
"Uh, she and Captain Montgomery and preparing a statement for the press. They won't leave until they get their pound of flesh."
Kate reaches out and takes her hand, squeezing in what she hopes is a reassuring way. "He's going to be okay."
There is an awkward pause.
"Fifteen hundred." Alexis mutters, without looking at Kate. "That's how many people died from gunshots last year in the city. Fifteen hundred."
Kate nods somberly, and Alexis lets go of her hand suddenly, "I just want to know my dad's okay." She whispers.
"Me too, Al."
The surgeon sighs with exhaustion, sweeping off his scrub cap and pushing down the surgical mask. It's been a long night. Dr. Francis hates nights like these, when the patient on the table has a horde of worried people, family, waiting outside. It makes it too difficult to compartmentalize, to put away human feelings because it's necessary. Of course, the fact that he's a renowned author didn't help matters either.
"Mr. Castle's family?" Dr. Francis calls into the waiting room. His eyes widen when 5 people snap to action and surround him in seconds. "I'm Dr. Francis, I operated on Mr. Castle earlier tonight."
"How is he?" a tall brunette demands.
There is protocol to be followed. "Are you family?"
Esposito flashes his badge, "No, but we're the NYPD, so whatever you know doc, you should tell us right now."
"I'm his mother," Martha says, putting a hand on Esposito's chest to stop him from overexciting himself, "and to answer your question, yes, we are all family."
Dr. Francis nods his understanding. Cops and mothers, the two who could never take no for an answer. "Mr. Castle sustained a gunshot wound entering his back in the 4th intercostal space on the right. The bullet ricocheted off his ribs and missed most vital organs, although we did have to repair a tear in his lung, and he sustained a pulmonary embolism during the surgery…"
"Evan." Lanie interjects, "English.
"Right, sorry Lanie." The doctor cracks a smile, Lanie Parish is well known throughout the hospital, and when she means business, she means it. Dr. Francis finds and holds the eyes of the first woman who'd spoken to him, as she seemed to need this the most. "He's resting now, and we expect he'll make a full recovery."
An audible sigh permeates the room, as tears appear in Alexis's eyes. "You couldn't have led with that?"
"You must be his daughter," the doctor adds, "do you want to see him?"
Alexis nods and accompanies the doctor down the hall, Martha following quickly. Kate wants more than anything to follow, but she hangs back. Family first. Instead she tells Lanie, Javier, and Ryan to go home. "It's gonna be okay now," she confirms.
Slowly, they trickle out of the surgical wing, squeezing Kate's shoulder and telling her to get some rest. When they're all gone, she sinks into a chair, which feels 100 times more comfortable now that she knows Richard will be okay. Maybe she can even sleep for a few hours, or just close her eyes. A deep fatigue creeps up her spine as she decides that idea is probably the best one she's had all night.
Before Kate can let sleep claim her, she hears a click of high heel shoes making their way toward her, "Where is everyone?" the mysterious voice asks.
Kate opens her eyes, seeing Gina's worried expression, "They went home, Martha and Alexis are with Castle. He's out of the woods."
"Oh thank God."
Relief floods her features and Kate looks on, knowing she'd worn a similar expression not too long ago. She finally understands in that moment that Gina loves Rick too, maybe just as much as Kate knows she does. With a sinking heart, Kate realizes that no matter what happens, someone would walk away broken.
Kate smiles anyways, pointing in the general direction of where she thinks Castle's room is.
Before Gina can take a step, Martha appears in the waiting room again. "Now, why in the world are you both out here?" she asks.
Gina follows right away but Kate hesitates.
Seeing her unease, Martha adds, "really detective?"
"I don't want to intrude." Kate says politely.
"Either go home or get in here and wait for him to wake up with us."
With that, Martha and Gina head towards Rick's room. A few seconds later, Kate follows.
The room is small, stuffy, and smells unmistakably like antiseptic. Martha and Alexis sit on one side of his bed while Gina grips his hand on the other. Kate leans against the wall, keeping watch of the heart rate monitor. The rhythmic spikes bring her some sort of comfort.
But it doesn't stop her eyes from wandering to the person in the bed.
In one word, Rick looks like hell. His skin is pale and there are circles around his eyes. The thin hospital gown doesn't exactly conceal the white bandages around his chest and his eyebrows are knitted together, as though he's frowning. Now, more than any time before, Kate just wants to see his dimpled, lopsided, heart-stopping grin.
She's never thought of Rick as weak. Sure, he doesn't carry a gun, and his bullet proof vest says WRITER not POLICE, but Kate's always believed him strong, unflappable, stoic. Childish, yes, but grounded and serious when necessary. Now, seeing him lying there, helpless, Kate is reminded that he is just a civilian, who has the influence and money to get a spot as her partner. He's had some lucky breaks, but he isn't trained to deal with situations like today's.
"Kate, would you please stop that? You're making me nervous."
At the sound of Martha's voice, Kate realizes she's moved from her place by the window and is pacing in the small room. She mutters an apology and takes a seat at the foot of his bed, gripping the armrests through swirling thoughts.
She loves Rick. Gina loves Rick. Rick loves who?
Not that it should matter. Kate knows what she should do, and it's to back out. There are no complications for Gina and Rick. They can be together. They have been together. But for her and Rick, there is so much in their way. The possibility of losing their friendship, the possibility of not being able to work together, the possibility of their forever thing blowing up in both their faces.
Before she can work through the conflicting emotions, the loving him and knowing she shouldn't, Rick starts to stir. At his first quiet moan of discomfort and shifting of the bed sheets, all four of them are on their feet.
"Ricky?" Gina's says tearfully, taking hold of his hand as his eyes struggle to open. "I'm here, baby."
He lets out a hoarse breath and his eyes suddenly squeeze shut. They lean in to hear him whispering, "Watch out, watch out…"
"What's he talking about?" Gina whispers, as Rick continues to hover fitfully between awake and asleep.
They all shake their heads, listening closely as another pained gasp escapes his lips, "careful!"
It hits Kate very suddenly. He's still there, in that warehouse, facing the barrel of a gun and wondering what to do. It occurs to her that in his dream, he's talking to her, warning her. Once again, Kate has to bite back tears.
"I love you, Rick." Gina admits, "Can you hear me? You're safe. I love you."
His eyelids relax immediately, and Kate thinks she can see the corner of his lips turn in a small smile as he gives an imperceptible nod. Gina seems to notice as well, and her grip on his hand slacks.
Rick's breathing deepens again, as though he's about to fall asleep, but not before he squeezes Gina's hand in response to her words and mumbles, "Kate…" He seems to smile again, "… Kate."
Disbelief, then shock, then anger flit across Gina's face. She lets go of her boyfriend's hand as though it had burned her and takes a few hasty steps back. Then, her eyes fixate on Kate, who's still frozen in place, eyes never leaving Rick, the words he said reverberating in her head. It was just her name, but it was so much more.
She snaps out of her stupor when Gina knocks into her shoulder on her way out the door. Alexis stares after her, but makes no move to leave her father. When she looks at Kate, Kate doesn't detect the same animosity displayed by Gina, simply confusion.
"Gina, wait!" Kate jogs to catch up to her, and finds Gina halfway across the waiting room, "Please, just wait!"
Gina spins around, angry tears in her eyes, and points at Kate accusingly, "How long have you been sleeping with him?"
Kate is taken aback, but responds slowly and clearly, "nothing has happened between me and Castle."
She shakes her head disbelievingly, scathingly. "Then am I hearing things? Because I'm pretty sure he just called your name and I'm also pretty sure that's not supposed to happen."
"I don't know why he did that. You have to believe me, we're just friends."
"He took that bullet for you." Gina shoots back, "that doesn't sound like friends."
No, it doesn't. It isn't, but Kate says anyway, "friends and partners. Partners do that sometimes." That the best you got, Beckett?
Gina, for one, thinks it's not enough, and she lets out an angry laugh, "I should've seen this coming." She raved, "It was right in front of me and I - missed it."
"Gina…"
"He's in love with you."
"No." Kate shakes her head.
Gina scoffs, "I've seen the way he looks at you, the way he talks about you, all the time he spends with you… He's… never been like that with me," she realizes quietly, "and I - am such an idiot."
Kate doesn't know what to say so she stays silent.
"Tell Rick to take care of himself." Gina says bitterly, and then she's gone.
Alexis Castle watches the exchange between her father's girlfriend and the detective she's come to look up to as a mentor. She listens to their heated words; well Gina's heated words, and Detective Beckett's quiet denial. To put it lightly, her world is shaken.
She likes Gina. As much as a teenage daughter can like her father's girlfriend, Alexis likes Gina. But she could never shake the feeling that Gina was all wrong for her dad, since the very first time she'd bought Alexis that doll with the creepy eyes.
And Kate. Well, Kate was special. Kate excited her dad, kept him busy, kept him inspired, and kept him grounded all at once. Kate was different from anyone else her dad, or Alexis, has ever known. A good different.
As Alexis watched Kate sink into a chair, a stunned look on her face as she watched Gina leave, she couldn't help the feeling that something was about to change; that when her dad woke up for good, he wouldn't be the same, nothing would be.
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