Twenty-one Weeks at Quantico

By: Lesera128

Rated: T

Disclaimer: I own nothing... Obviously. Just playing in someone else's sandbox for a bit.

Summary: When the FBI establishes a pilot program for consultants to receive training at the FBI academy, Brennan and Booth clash over whether she should enroll. AU.

16. T-plus Four Weeks Until Graduation, Part II

The next morning, Brennan waited until well after 9am. She knew that Booth would be at the Academy, and she had a list of things to do. However, just because she had things to do, that did not mean that she spent very much of the prior night and morning sleeping any more than she necessarily had to do so. She spent a lot of time watching her daughter, crying some more, thinking, crying some more, feeding the baby when she woke up hungry at about 3:30am and then… pulling out her laptop, she began to type.

Max was wonderful. He quietly watched Brennan, didn't intrude or press her for information. However, he did insist that when she was ready, he would accompany her back to the apartment with the baby… just in case.

When they arrived, Max's concern turned out to have been for nothing. The apartment was empty… so he jovially offered to stay and play with the baby while Brennan showered and dressed. For the first time in a very long time, Brennan got ready for her day… without the idea in her mind that she needed to keep FBI protocol in mind. Instead, after she showered and fixed her hair, Brennan walked to the closest, and bypassed the growing collection of pant and skirt suits that she had been wearing for the last four months. Instead, she reached past the suits… and pulled out a burgundy dress and black leather belt and black pair of high-heeled leather boots. She grabbed a black cardigan from the closet and then turned to her vanity for appropriate accessories. Selecting a simple pair of earrings, but an eclectic necklace of raw garnet chunks, polished amber, and silver filigree, Brennan completed her ensemble. Her make up finished a short time later, when she looked back in her mirror, she drew strength from the fact that Temperance Brennan, FBI Agent Trainee at Quantico was gone. In her place stood Dr. Temperance Brennan of the Jeffersonian Institute… and it was then, finally, that Brennan realized just how much she had actually missed her.

After she finished dressing, Brennan went into her office, opened the USB drive that held the two letters she had spent part of the morning comprising, gave them a final glance, and satisfied, printed a single copy of each, signed each letter, and placed the two sheets of paper in a new, crisp manila file folder.

A short while later, she came back out to the living room where Max was reading a magazine. He looked up when he saw her and immediately smiled. "Feel better?"

"Yes," she said truthfully.

Nodding at him, she said, "I have two errands to run, and it would be extremely problematic for me to take Chrissy with me… would you be able to—"

"Sure, sure, honey," Max said. "I kind of planned on sticking around for a while anyway."

Brennan smiled. "Thank you." She then moved to the play pen, and leaned down. Chrissy immediately looked up at her, blinked several times, and seemed content to continue their impromptu staring game before Brennan reached in and took her out.

Cuddling her in an unusual display of affection that she normally reserved for when she was alone for the baby, Brennan then kissed her as she softly said, "Mommy loves you, baby girl. And, I'll be back soon. I promise."

Given the fact that Brennan had effectively terminated her participation in the training at Quantico, one might think that the last place she intended to visit the following day would be any place related in any way, shape, or form to the FBI. And, if one were to make such an assumption… they would have been wrong. Brennan confidently walked into the Hoover Building and made her way to Andrew Hacker's office. She had called to make certain she was expected, and was pleased to see him greet her himself as soon as his assistant let her know that Brennan had arrived.

Walking into his office and taking the seat Hacker proffered as he shut the door at her request, Brennan waited for him to sit down.

The previous afternoon, Hacker had received a number of reports of what had occurred at Hogan's Alley. Several variations existed, but all shared the one common point… that Brennan had effectively turned in her badge and gun, punched Booth as hard as she could, and walked off the Alley without saying another word. Thus, when Hacker found Brennan sitting in front of him, he was uncertain how to proceed. Fortunately, Brennan saved him the trouble as she pushed the file folder in front of him.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me on such short notice, Andrew," Brennan began. "I know you have a very busy schedule, and I appreciate the consideration."

Hacker nodded, his face serious. "Of course… you know, Temperance… I told you once before… whatever you need from the FBI to do what you need to do… you've got it."

Brennan considered her words before she said, "That file folder which is in front of you contains two documents… one of a professional nature and one of a personal nature that I must ask for your assistance in handling."

"Okay," Hacker said, although he didn't open the file folder. "Do you want me to read what they say or would you care to summarize?"

Brennan thought for a moment before she said, "I believe I can verbally summarize, and then you may ask any pertinent follow up questions you feel you need to ask for clarification."

Hacker nodded.

Brennan took a breath and then said, "The first document is my letter of resignation from the pilot training program at Quantico. It is the document of a professional nature of which I spoke."

Again, based on what Hacker had been told, this particular piece of information did not surprise him. He took a breath before he said, "I have been told there was some… excitement during your tactical scenario yesterday."

Brennan said tersely, "I was unable successfully to complete my role in the simulation. As such, I received a failing grade that would have resulted in me washing out of the program anyway. I find, given this consideration, my voluntary resignation is the most logical and expedient way for me to do what I must to begin to regain some measure of normalcy for my life that has been sorely lacking these last few months."

"So… that's it?" Hacker asked. "Four weeks from the end… just like that… you're giving up? That's… that's not like you, Temperance."

Brennan thought for a moment and then said, "I find that when I weighed the cost/benefit analysis of trying to force myself to see if yet another exception might be made so that I could redo the scenario with the goal of gaining an acceptable grade… I… I have personal reasons that deemed the cost of that action too much, Andrew."

Sitting back in his chair, Hacker said, "I don't want to pry into your personal issues, Temperance… but I really need to know… are these personal issues of which you speak… are they related to Agent Booth in any way?"

Brennan nodded, and then, in a much more forthright manner than Hacker had expected, she said, "Yes, they are… and if you have a specific question, please feel free to ask it, Andrew, and if I can answer it without betraying a confidence, I will do so."

"I don't suppose that you would settle for a friend merely asking you to explain what happened out there?" Hacker asked.

And… just like that… Brennan began to speak. She left out some of the more intimate issues regarding her daughter's role in her inability to complete the exercise… remaining vague and abstract on points that touched on that issue… but, at the end, she talked, Hacker listened, and when she finished, he was convinced by her explanation.

"I'm not going to lie and say that this is going to seriously impede the program's chances of being seen as viable beyond the pilot format, Temperance. Your… *your* individual participation was something that many people felt reassured by, given your reputation, skills… and, quite frankly, by the touch of glamor that you added to things. It will hurt… but… given your explanation… I can't find that I disagree with your decision or the reasoning behind it," Hacker said.

Brennan sighed, "I apologize if I 've made things more difficult for the Agency, Andrew… but… I am not an FBI agent… I am a forensic anthropologist. I am very good at what I do… from the scientific perspective… and, yes, when I can take that perspective in the field and *help* another agent solve cases… it's a very positive and effective experience… but… I… I'm just not meant to be the agent *myself*. I don't think I ever was…."

Hacker nodded. "Okay, then…. so, does this mean we can expect to see you back on the Jeffersonian's active roster then?'

Brennan smiled. "Of course. I will be returning to the lab as soon as I depart from here."

"Excellent," Hacker smiled. "That's the first bit of positive news you've told me since you got here."

Brennan's smile waned as she nodded and then said, "I… there is still the matter of the second document in the file folder, Andrew… the one of a personal nature of which I spoke?"

"Yes?" Hacker said, not having forgotten it, but not eager to push Brennan beyond the stressful boundaries she obviously had been stretched past over the prior few months.

"I… I'm not certain how to discuss this, so I… I believe in such cases the direct approach is the best one to be utilized. I feel confident that I should warn you that what I have to tell you may be greatly surprising to you, but I hope once the shock wears off, you will be able to rationally counsel me in how best to next proceed," Brennan said. "Particularly, because I will now revert back to my status as an outside consultant, a subcontractor and not an official employee of the Bureau, by the end of today's business day, so I hope that will simplify things—"

"Temperance," Hacker chuckled. "Just tell me what the second letter says."

"I have your assurances that what I am about to reveal will remain classified and *not* widely disseminated gossip?" Brennan asked.

Nodding, Hacker said, "Of course."

"Very well," Brennan said. "I… well, seven weeks ago… seven weeks ago I was married in the state of Virginia. I've already spoken with a contact in the Department of State, and I was informed that, as of yesterday, the background checks that run periodically on individuals who hold my level of security clearance tripped an update flag in the system. If that information has not been already uploaded into the FBI database, I would be very surprised. However, after discussing the details surrounding my marriage, on behalf of the State Department, I was told that such information about my marriage would be revealed on a need-to-know basis only, Andrew. You know I have… in the past, that my work in certain places… it's been dangerous… and, as such… the State Department and the Department of Defense have worked hard to ensure that my privacy has been maintained. I wanted to take the opportunity while I was here today to see to any additional work that may be required on the part of the FBI about my change in status. It seemed logical that since I was going to be here already that I-"

Hacker's eyes had remained staring at her throughout her ramblings. At last, he blinked, and the first part of her message was processed in his brain.

"You… you got married?" Hacker said.

"Yes," Brennan responded. "Approximately seven weeks ago. In Virginia."

Hacker leaned back in his chair and said, still a bit wide-eyed, "Well... Congratulations, Temperance."

"Thank you," she responded. "As I said, it is not common knowledge outside of our families that the marriage took place, but I felt the need to inform you, now... To be quite honest, I must admit I'm somewhat surprised that no one had broached the subject with either one of us before this point in time. We assumed that system simply would email some analyst, who would let you know, in turn, with some standard form notification. We had intended to both inform the Bureau before this, but things have been incredibly distracting for both of us over the past few months, so it has been difficult to find the right time to do so."

"Well, the FBI's internal servers were replaced over the Thanksgiving break. Some data was lost in the process... and, IT has repeatedly assured me that, while the data will take some time to recover, especially in cases that the the server was accessing external records systems when the server was switched... it will eventually all be restored and processed, but, you know how these things go. My best guess is that the information about your marriage may have been a part of the data that's been temporarily... misplaced."

"Ahh, I see. Well, we had not anticipated that," Brennan said thoughtfully.

"Ummmm..." Hacker asked, as he pondered the implications of her words. "I… forgive me, Temperance. I... I guess I'm still a little more shocked then you would think I might be... I… I didn't know you were even seeing someone to the point that your relationship was that serious…."

"I forgive you," Brennan said with a curt nod. "Now—"

"Wait," Hacker said, his mind finally starting to catch up with the full implications of Brennan's words. "I… you… you said 'us'… why would your husband's identity be of concern to the Bureau unless… oh…."

Immediately, his lips pursed, and Hacker recrossed his arms, a slight ironic smile coming onto his face as he spoke and realization dawned. "It finally happened, didn't it?"

"What finally happened?" Brennan asked.

"Your husband… the man you married… it's Agent Booth, isn't it?"

Brennan frowned at this and then said, "How did you arrive at that assumption, Andrew?"

Chuckling, he shook his head. "Wild guess."

"Well, it was a very accurate guess for being wild in nature," Brennan conceded. "Now… what I want to know from you… when you walked into this office… you… you told me whatever I needed from the FBI to do my job, you would make sure I had."

Hacker nodded. "I did."

"And does that still apply to personnel?" Brennan asked.

Hacker's eyes narrowed as he said, "What you're really asking me, Temperance, is if the knowledge of your marriage to Agent Booth someway neutralizes his ability to serve as your partner in your role as a consultant from the Jeffersonian?"

Thinking back on what the agents had reported to him Brennan had done to Booth in the Alley the day before, Hacker said truthfully, "Honestly, Temperance… after eight years… as far as your work is concerned… I think most of the ADs and DDs I could ask for opinions on this type of thing would say… from our end… if it's not broken, don't try to fix it…."

"Good—"

"But," Hacker continued, pointing at her. "That's just from our perspective. What the more appropriate question to ask might be… from the perspective of Seeley Booth's wife is… do you think you can be married to him… and still do the work you both do without that work adversely affecting your personal relationship?"

Biting her lip for a moment, Brennan was quiet, before she softly replied, "Honestly, Andrew… I don't know. I just *don't* know."

After her conversation with Hacker, one that lasted over an hour and a half, Brennan headed towards the Jeffersonian. It felt, as it often did when she entered the doors, like coming home. Christmas decorations made the lab seem more festive than normal. As soon as she entered the sliding glass doors, she felt a sense of peace Brennan hadn't realized she had been missing for a very, very long time. Glancing at the platform, she saw Clark, Wendell, and Hodgins hovering over what looked like a fresh set of remains. However, realizing that first she needed to see Cam, she headed towards the autopsy room instead of turning in the direction of the platform.

There, she found Cam going over a number of samples and soft tissue remnants… a process that was immediately stopped when her boss looked up and saw Brennan standing in the doorway.

"Dr. Brennan, what are you doing here?"

Brennan nodded. "I have come to inform you that I'm available to resume my duties here in the lab, if you think it appropriate."

Cam opened her mouth to speak, and then, looking at Brennan, she merely arched an eyebrow as she said, "When?"

"Immediately," Brennan responded. "Now, actually, if I can be of assistance."

"We did just get in a fresh case that Sully brought us," Cam said.

"I saw that Dr. Edison and Wendell were on the platform with Hodgins looking at the remains when I came into the lab," Brennan said.

"I'm sure they would love the help," Cam said. "If… if you're sure, Dr. Brennan."

Nodding, Brennan said, "Just give me a couple of moments to drop off my belongings."

Cam nodded, and still dying to ask a hundred different questions, she remained silent, sensing now was not the time to press Brennan.

As she confidently walked to her office, again, Brennan felt a sense of contentment as she opened the door, turned on the lights, and set down her laptop and messenger bags. She stored her purse in her desk, and then reached for where her lab coat hung on its normal peg on her coat rack. Brennan lightly caressed it for a moment, and then firmly grabbed it. Putting it on, she reached into the pocket and took out an elastic. Pulling her hair back into its normal messy ponytail, Brennan took her access card off her desk… and proudly reattached it to her coat. Smiling, she then walked out in the direction of the platform.

Reaching up and removing the card only long enough to swipe it, three sets of surprised eyes met hers as she walked up the stairs towards the examination table.

"Gentleman, Cam tells me that this is a fresh set of remains that Agent Sullivan brought in this morning. She mentioned that I might be able to be of some assistance," Brennan greeted them.

"Uh, yeah, of course, Dr. B.," Hodgins said, breaking the spell that had been cast over the platform by Brennan's appearance.

Clark was the next to speak as he said, "Victim is male, Caucasian, late 20s to early 30s. COD is undetermined. He was found dumped in a trash compacter…."

"Uhh, Dr. Brennan?" Wendell, unable to help himself, interrupted Clark.

"Yes, Mr. Bray?" Brennan asked.

"Aren't you supposed to be at Quantico? Or, did you finish that FBI training program all ready? Is it over?" Wendell asked innocently.

"It isn't over. It still has a month remaining in its duration. I chose to leave," Brennan said.

"Whoa! Really, Dr. B.? What happened?" Hodgins said.

"I prefer not to discuss it, Dr. Hodgins. Now, can we please get back to the case?" Brennan said evenly.

Brennan, despite her eagerness to remain at the lab working, knew she needed to return home at a reasonable hour for two reasons. One, she felt that in the past few months that she and Booth had been abusing her father's many offers to assist with the baby… and two, she knew a discussion with Booth was inevitable… To be honest, she was somewhat surprised her hadn't shown up last night and tried to force a confrontation. However, she was grateful that she had time to think about what had happened, how she felt, and… most importantly, what she wanted and what they to happen next. Having spent the day righting her professional career, now all that remained was cleaning up the fall out in their personal lives. And, as was normally the case, Brennan knew that such actions were going to take a lot longer than a single night and day of efforts to complete due to their complexity, but such efforts began with the conversation she knew was coming with Booth.

And, so, she left the lab early… with promises to return in the morning for a normal day's work… and went home. She thanked her father profusely and was there when the baby woke up from her late nap, since her schedule was off. Brennan reveled in being able to spend time with the baby… reading to her, playing with her, feeding her, bathing her, getting her ready for bed… even singing her a lullaby as the baby, unusually, dropped off to sleep without any fuss or fight.

By the time Booth came home, it was a little after 7:30pm, and he didn't know what to expect, but was somewhat surprised when he saw that Max had kept his word. Brennan was where he said he could find her… and she apparently was waiting for him.

He walked into the apartment, tentatively… on edge, uncertain what to expect. When he saw Brennan sitting in a chair from the dining room table that she had turned so she could merely watch the entry way, Booth knew that it was not a positive sign of things to come.

Walking in, he looked at her. Booth wanted to say so many things to her. He had spent the entire night and day thinking of what and how he wanted to say things to her, and, yet, now that Booth had the chance, he found his tongue wouldn't work,and he couldn't speak.

At last, Brennan broke the silence. She said softly, "Before I ask whether you'll leave, and I'll stay here with Chrissy… or if we'll leave to go to my Dad's so you can stay here… do you remember… once… I asked you if you would ever betray me?"

"Yes," Booth croaked. "I remember," he said, finding his voice at last.

"Do you remember what your answer was?"

"I said, 'no'… that I wasn't going to betray you," Booth said, his voice still choked full of emotion.

"But, you… you did. Yesterday, you did," Brennan said softly. "You used personal knowledge of me… of my life… of *our* private life... and you used it against me… if that's not the definition of betrayal, Booth, I don't know what is…."

He took a step towards her, and said, "I didn't betray you."

"I never thought I would have lived to see the day when I would say this, but I think I may have been better off with Harding. At least she never would have been able to do anything so devious as... My daughter," Brennan said, as she shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe you tried to use my own daughter against me."

"It wasn't Chrissy," Booth said immediately. "It was Jeff Baxter's kid…. I would never put our daughter on display like that for the entire Bureau to see, Bones."

"But, you did with, Parker…." Brennan countered.

"No… I didn't… he's… just—well, it's different with Parker," Booth said, exasperation clearly evident in his face. "He's twelve, and off of school because of winter break… and Becks told me how much he's been missing us since we both been gone so much this past month… and so…I-I asked him if he wanted to help me at work, and he was so excited, and he said 'yes'…. and—"

"And you used him to mess with me even more than the test already was going to…." Brennan said softly. She felt the tears she had promised herself she would shed begin to threaten to fall. "How could you do that to me, Booth?"

"I-I was doing my job, Bones," Booth said lamely. "The tac scenario… it's like that for everyone, Bones, and if I… if I wasn't the one to design it… it would have been someone else just randomly cherry-picking your worst fears and insecurities from your psycho profile. They could have taken anything… involved foster kids… something to do with your mom's murder… I… I thought that if I was the one to do it, it would be the lesser of two evils. And I swear to God, Bones... I swear to God, I knew you would be rattled, but that's part of the point of the exercise... you *were* supposed to be shaken, but, I never thought it would be that bad. I thought if you heard me on the radio, you would logically know... it wasn't me... and that the baby was still at your dad's, and be able to compartmentalize and finish the exercise."

"But he looked like you... from a distance... and Parker... yelling... and the baby's cries. Oh, God, Booth... the baby cried just like Chrissy," Brennan said., squeezing her eyes shut, almost as if she wanted to block out the images and the sounds. "And, you know... you *know* since she's been born I haven't been able to- to- focus like that, compartmentalize like I used to. Hell, that was supposed to be one of the things this goddamn training was supposed to help me fix being able to do again, remember?"

"Bones-"

"You have no idea how much you've hurt me, Booth," Brennan said, shaking her head sadly. "I—God, you have no idea."

"Bones, what happened there?" he asked. "I... tell me, please, what happened?"

Brennan stared at him for a moment, the whirl of thoughts and emotions that she had been battling with over the past year finally coming crashing down on her conscious mind. The one thing, whether she realized it or not, she had been struggling to make her peace with since the baby had been born... that her fear... her single, greatest, most personal fear. It wasn't what it used to be. In the span of a single year, the most crucial, fundamental piece of how she defined herself, her greatest fear, was no longer the fear of being abandoned by her loved ones... somehow, in some way... it had changed when she had given birth to a six pound, eleven ounce squirming, squealing bundle of baby girl. And, she had been fighting against that loss of control for months... panicking without realizing what had truly caused her paradigm shift... not Booth... not their relationship... not work or fear of losing him... all of it... all of it had come from the baby... her... Christine.

The baby... everything came back down to that... and she had been fighting against that for months now... and only had come to accept the realization when confronted, albeit unintentionally, with the worst possible thing Booth could *ever* have chosen to force her to live through... having to do, as Brennan saw it, to her daughter what had once been done to her... even acting out of love... doing to her daughter what had been done to her... losing her... leaving her... And, it was just too much... too private... too intimate... too newly realized, for Brennan to be able to share with anyone... even Booth at that moment in time.

Shaking her head, she said quietly, "I-I can't... aside from the fact that what you did, it hurt me in the worst possible way you could ever have hurt me... more than you can possibly imagine, Booth... I just *can't*."

"I'm sorry," he breathed. Taking another step towards her, "I am so sorry, Bones, if you're hurt... that was never my intention… but—"

"But?" she said, lifting her gaze to his. "But, what, Booth? What possible extenuating circumstance could you have that would explain this, excuse this?"

Frustrated, he ran his hand through his hair as he said, "I-I… nothing."

"No," Brennan said, a bit of anger coming into her voice at last. She was desperate to hold on to that… the indignation, the anger. They were lifelines that would keep her from drowning in a sea of hurt and shame and embarrassment and fear. "Say what you were going to say."

Booth looked up at her, catching the change in the tone of her voice. "Fine," he nodded. "I was going to say… if you're hurting, and it's because of something you think I did to you, I'm sorry for that… so sorry… but… look, here, Bones. I don't want to state the obvious, but, none of this would have ever happened if you had just listened to me seven months ago and not agreed to participate in this goddamn farce… that's pulled me into it too… away from where I want to be, from the people I want to be with, doing what I want to do. We're here… because you made a choice, Bones. *You* made this choice."

"Yes, I did," Brennan said. "I did make a choice… because it's my right to make my own choices, Booth."

"I know that... and although I didn't understand it completely, because it was important to you, I did things your way. I did things because you said you needed the chance to do them... your way... and, God, I love you, Bones. But, some times I think you've been so... focused on how things have been relating strictly to you that you've forgotten other people have been dealing with a lot of stuff too. And it hasn't been fun," Booth said. "It's been hard. Very, *very* hard."

At this, Brennan felt both guilt and shame and... a bit of annoyance. "You don't think I've been supportive enough of you, do you?"

"I didn't say that," Booth said immediately. "Don't put words in my mouth, Bones."

"You may not have been saying it, but you're thinking it. I can tell," Brennan claimed.

Sighing, Booth said, "Look... it's been a lot for any couple to go through, Bones. I mean, think about where we were a year ago... even two years ago... I was in Afghanistan two years ago thinking you didn't even care about me as a friend, maybe didn't even want me as a partner. Two months later, *BAM* Andi shows up in my life and turns it upside down... breaks my heart... and then *BAM* you're there, and you're Andi, and you're there saying you love me and want me, and then *BAM* you tell me that we're having a baby... and, then... this year... Chrissy and Quantico and getting married. It's a lot to process, a lot to adapt to... a *lot* of change, all at once."

"I know," Brennan said softly. "God, believe me if anyone knows that, it's me... but... I'm doing the best I can."

"And so have I," Booth said. "But, you've got to meet me half way here... what goes on at out there... it can't be here... we'll never make it through if we bring work home, Bones."

"You don't think we're going to last, do you?" Brennan said. "Do you?" she repeated.

Booth sighed again, and looked away. "We're dealing with a lot of stuff, Bones... and you... you haven't been making it very easy for me," Booth said.

"Easy for you?" Brennan's voice raised. "*Easy* for *you*? Excuse me, Booth, but I don't think you're the one who just had her *husband*... the man who promised me he would do anything and everything in the world to protect me... I'm not the one who just served up your worst goddamn nightmare on a silver platter in front of half the FBI Academy."

"I did what I had to do," Booth said, starting to become frustrated with her.

"Fine," Brennan acknowledged. "You had a job to do, you did it... had to do it because of me. But, don't you think... the least you could have done was warn me... give me some type of idea what was coming, Booth, before I was blindsided like that? We're a couple, after all, aren't couples supposed to talk about things like this... discuss them openly?"

"You know… you never even asked me before you told Hacker 'yes'," Booth said. "That… that was the type of decision that maybe we should have talked about, as a couple... a decision that should not have been made unilaterally... It was something we should have talked about first and then made the decision *together*, Bones."

"You mean like when you told Cullen 'no' the first time… or 'yes' the second time?" Brennan shot back, feeling the ire rising in her again.

"I didn't get a chance to say 'yes' the second time, now, did I? I *had* to go… I *had* to do it, for *you*… "

"Oh, don't you dare!" Brennan spat, finally launching herself out of the chair. "Don't make this seem like you were doing everything you've done just for me in some type of twisted grand gesture."

"My personal feelings aside, I did what I had to do, Bones… Fine, you want to set aside motivations for a moment, fine. I still made a commitment, and once I made that commitment, I honored it by doing what I had to do to the best of my ability, Bones, even if that means you got your dainty little feathers ruffled a tad and had to be uncomfortable when you were nudged out of your sacred comfort zone where Brennan is God and controls everything," Booth countered. "Well, I got news for you sweetheart... the real world... and the Bureau... working for the Bureau in the real world... it doesn't work like that. You don't get to control things, you see some scary shit, bad things happen, you have to do what you're told to do, and you have absolutely *no* control over it."

Brennan looked at him wide-eyed for a moment. She said nothing, though, in response. Emboldened by her silence, Booth continued, finally feeling as if he were taking off a serious of weights that had been loaded on to his chest for months.

"You know what, Bones... you never should have gone. It *never* should've happened. I didn't want you to go because I *knew*... right from the start. You aren't an FBI agent. You aren't cop material... you just aren't... any more than I'm a lab rat. You aren't made of the stronger stuff that a person needs to have to do what you've got to do in the field. That's why I knew if you started this thing, you were never, *ever* going to finish it," Booth said.

At last, Brennan interrupted him, a sneer on her face. "Don't you dare... condescend to me, and say that you're better than me, Booth."

"In the context of how the FBI defines 'better', you bet your sweet ass I am, Bones. You aren't me... you never could be me... because you're a lab rat... always have been, and my over indulgence with you over the past seven years aside, you *always* will be," Booth shot back at her.

"You are such a bastard," Brennan said. "But, you know what... you may be right... because if it means I have to subvert my natural abilities... my intelligence, creativity, individuality to be a part of a goddamn organization like the FBI... you know what... it's like selling a piece of your soul away, Booth... and maybe you struck that bargain and are okay with it... but, I'm not."

"You have to believe in souls to be able to have one to bargain them away, Bones," Booth volleyed.

Her eyes watering again, Brennan came close to raising her hand in anger. Booth said it, and said, softly, "You know... I'm getting pretty sick and tired of you thinking you can just starting beating up on me whenever you want to... so, I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Why?" Brennan threw back. "It's not like we know I'm any good at following orders that I'm given."

"No," Booth said truthfully. "No, you're not."

"But, you..." Brennan spat. "Yes... that's a skill you've spent a lot of time developing over the years, isn't it? You're very good at that… taking orders like a good little soldier… someone says pull the trigger… you simply pull the trigger. You don't stop to ask why… just do it because you were told to… because the order was given. You've had *YEARS* of practice doing that, haven't you, Booth?"

The look of shock at her words that Booth had on his face could only be described as somewhere between randomly shell shocked and painfully crestfallen... and it was the most hurt Brennan had ever seen him look... when she had seen him, many times over the years, look very, very hurt.

At last, Booth swallowed and said softly, "I-I-I can't believe you just said that."

"Well, I did," Brennan spat back at him. Anger, hurt, betrayal. She needed it. She clung to it. She let it fuel her thoughts and actions… anger… anger would keep her from the fear… and if she was hurting him, he couldn't be the one to hurt her again.

"I-I… why would you say something like that?" Booth asked, looking at her, his eyes finally tearing.

"Because," Brennan sneered. "It's the truth, isn't it?"

At this, Booth grabbed her hand and jerked her forward. Staring directly into her eyes, he said, the dangerous edge that indicated he was doing his best to control himself… and his anger, "If you can look me in the eyes... if you can do that and say that to me, you never really knew me at all, Bones."

"Maybe I don't," Brennan snarled.

"Then maybe you did make a mistake… because, obviously, a woman should never be fool enough to marry a man that she doesn't even know," Booth shot back.

Brennan was silent for a moment. She looked at him, at the gauntlet that had been thrown down between them at her earlier challenge. At a loss for what to say, Brennan said softly, "Maybe you're right… maybe it was a mistake," Brennan said.

At this, Brennan saw another flash of pain in his eyes that quickly turned very, very cold. He dropped her hand and said, "Don't bother moving the baby. I'll go."

He then grabbed his keys from where he had set them down earlier on the entryway table, opened the door, walked out, and slammed it with a very loud *BANG*. The reverberation of the slam shook the walls… and the motion caused a picture on the nearby table to rattle and fall. The frame fell to the floor in a crash of glass. Brennan cried out as she watched it happened. She saw instantly it was the photo that Booth had taken the night during the week before she began the training at Quantico where she and Chrissy were both asleep and in the rocking chair in the nursery. It was the same photo he had given to her two days ago as an early Christmas present… the same photo that she had unwrapped in front of their Christmas tree… before they made love. Feeling a ball of emotion choke her throat, Brennan stumbled forward, tears streaming down her face as she bent and tried to pick of the pieces of glass… wondering if her family was just as now broken and shattered as the picture frame seemed to indicate.

Over the next few days, Booth and Brennan made an unspoken agreement to do what they needed to do to make the holiday special for their families. He eventually returned… and she didn't leave, but… he did sleep on the couch, and the festivities lack their usual buoyant exuberance.

A couple of days after Christmas, Booth had returned to the Academy for a new round of training, and Brennan found herself with Parker and Chrissy in a store, picking out decorations for the baby's upcoming first-birthday party.

Parker was silent for a moment as Brennan pointed out a display of balloons. "What do you think about that one Parker? Do you think that would match the cake?"

He glanced up and shrugged. "I guess."

At this, Brennan frowned. She placed a hand on his shoulder and said, "What's wrong, Parker?"

"Nothing—"

"Parker," Brennan reiterated.

Recognizing the tone, Parker sighed a sigh that startled Brennan for a moment as it eerily reminded her of Booth. He looked up at her and said, "Why are you mad at Dad?"

Brennan thought for a moment before she said, "He and I… had some problems at work, Parker. There were some… things that happened that… I… it's hard to explain, but… your father and I—"

"Does it have anything to do with the day that Dad took me to the Academy, and I got to act in the simulation? Because if it does, Bones, I'm sorry if I did something that messed it up for you," Parker said sadly.

At his words, Brennan felt her heart drop into her stomach. "Oh, no, Parker," Brennan said. "What's going on between me and your father… it has nothing to do with you. Why would you even think that?"

Parker, biting his lip, looked up and answered her question by saying, "Because, you guys started fighting that day. Dad… Dad has said earlier that after the simulation we'd… we'd all go over to dinner and celebrate and get ice cream… maybe go for a walk at the Mall? But, we didn't… and you were gone and never came home with us… and Dad took me back to Mom's when I was supposed to stay with you guys that night, so… yeah, I just thought I messed up somehow."

"No," Brennan said, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "It wasn't you or *anything* you did, Parker."

"Really?"

Pulling him in for a hug, she whispered, "Really."

Letting him hold her for a while, Parker eventually pulled away and said, "Bones?"

"Yes, Parker?"

"Are you and Dad going to get a divorce?"

The question hit Brennan like a ton of bricks in a sucker punch to her gut. She opened her mouth to answer when suddenly the baby began to yell.

But, instead of her normal shrieks of incoherence, Chrissy looked at her mother and yelled, "No… no… no… no… NO!"

Brennan's head snapped up in surprise. The baby looked at her gleefully, obviously pleased with herself, and clapped her hands.

Parker also looked surprised and said, "She just talked."

Brennan's eyebrows arched in surprise, and nodded, "Yes, yes, I think… I-I think she just did."

"No… no… no… no!" Chrissy yelled again, followed by another series of giggles. She smiled at both her mother and brother, and clapped again.

Brennan, uncertain, what to do, could only shake her head in a sad, but very, very proud smile.

-TBC-