It had been a couple of weeks since Kurt's breakup with Blaine, and while he felt a little bit better about his current situation, he was still miserable. He had wanted to talk to Dave for so long now, but... he just couldn't figure out exactly what he should say to him. Hi. I think I may want to date you, but I'm scared and I don't know what to do. That was the best line that Kurt had came up with at this point, but he didn't like that one very much. And the fact that Dave didn't think that he deserved Kurt and that he couldn't make him as happy as anyone else didn't help at all, either.
Funnily enough, word did not get around about Kurt's breakup. While he had told Mercedes, Rachel, and Finn, he had also told them that it wasn't something that bothered him all that much... as well as the fact that he didn't want it to get spread around to the members of New Directions, as it really didn't concern them. And not that they'd be all that interested, anyways.
So, here Kurt was in the choir room with mostly everyone else, sitting on the far left in the first row next to Rachel, while still debating with himself on what was the right thing that he could say to Dave. It was still quiet and awkward between them, and practically every scenario that he came up with in his head just seemed like it'd make things worse. Glancing around, he then noticed that Dave had yet to show up, as Mr. Schue walked into the room.
"Okay, guys," Mr. Schuester stated, clasping his hands together with a light slap. "We're just a couple of weeks away from Nationals. Now... I know that most of you-"
"Hey, Mr. Schue?" Dave interrupted, walking through one of the doors of the choir room and closing it behind him. "Can I say something real quick?"
Mr. Schuester nodded briefly, "Sure, Dave. That's fine," as he walked off to the side to lean against the piano near the front of the room.
"Thanks," Dave replied, staring down at the floor, as he cleared his throat.
It was getting to the point where Kurt's chest would literally start hurting every single time that he even looked Dave's way. The fact that he was now standing up in front of everyone, clearly nervous about something, just made that feeling worse.
Dave quickly slid both of his hands into the pockets of his jeans, clearing his throat once again. He eventually glanced back up towards everyone and shrugged slightly. "I, uh... this is kind of random, but I just wanted to thank you guys for..." he nodded, "pretty much everything this year."
Dave smirked, though he still seemed very nervous about whatever he was about to say. "I mean, I know that some of us talked about the last couple of years and all the stuff that went on, but, uh..." he took his left hand out of his pocket and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's just nice knowing that I have some great friends in here now," he nodded once more. "You know, some of you have helped me out a whole lot this year..."
He glanced over towards Kurt, pausing for a few moments to look right at him.
"Kurt, especially..." Dave continued.
Kurt was completely unsure as to what Dave was going to be saying, though he immediately smiled softly.
Dave quickly gazed back down towards the floor, taking a deep breath. "Um, and saying that, I... I just wanted to tell you guys something that I, uh, well... that only a few of you know about already," he looked from the left to the right towards everyone sitting down. "Hopefully it doesn't make you look at me differently or anything, but, uh... you know, I just trust you guys enough to tell you, so... um, yeah."
He glanced back down again, closing his eyes for a few brief moments. He then took another deep breath, looking back up quickly. Shrugging as if it was no big deal, he finally said what he had been trying to say. "I'm gay," he nodded.
Kurt's eyes widened in disbelief. While he was happy that Dave had finally told everyone else, he still couldn't believe that it was happening right then. Without turning his head at all, Kurt moved his eyes over to the right to try and analyze everyone else's reaction.
He had already known about Santana, Quinn, Rachel, and Finn knowing about Dave. Their reactions were pretty much the same as his- wide eyes and dropped mouths out of disbelief. Everyone else, on the other hand, just seemed to be staring at Dave with blank expressions on their faces. Kurt didn't understand why it was completely silent in the room, though he soon thought that maybe they were all just in shock...
That is, until he saw a few of the other members of New Directions, that hadn't previously known about Dave, begin to smile softly and nod, as if they already knew. One of Kurt's eyebrows shot up, as he was so confused as to how this had turned into quite a different kind of awkward situation. He noticed Santana, Quinn, Rachel, and Finn with similar reactions to everyone's silence. He thought that if this couldn't be labeled as strange, he definitely didn't have any idea as to what could be.
Mr. Schuester, unsurprisingly, was late to say anything. His eyes were wide and his mouth had dropped, also, though he finally stepped over to Dave, patting him on the shoulder. "David... that's so great that you were able to tell us all that," he smiled, nodding towards him. He then turned back to his students, raising one of his own eyebrows out of curiosity, as to why the reaction to Dave's coming out had been less than enthusiastic. "Wasn't it, guys?"
"Yeah," someone shouted out, along with a few other similar replies. The only problem was that it just seemed to make the situation even more awkward. Kurt continued looking at everyone else as if they were crazy for barely having any sort of reaction to Dave's announcement.
Dave just stared back at everyone, blinking quite a few times before saying anything else. "Okay..." he finally said unsurely, sliding his left hand back into his pocket. "Uh, thanks," he nodded, turning to look at Mr. Schuester to give him a confused smile.
Kurt couldn't understand what had happened. "Excuse me," he stated, raising his right arm up and pointing his index finger towards the ceiling. Everyone turned their heads to look at him. "Did you all not hear what he just said?" he asked, sounding even more confused than Dave had.
"Yeah, we heard him," Mercedes replied nonchalantly, nodding. "We think it's great," she smiled, shrugging lightly.
Kurt's mouth dropped a little bit more, as he was still expecting a better reaction from everyone else that hadn't known. "Um, that's it?" he asked after another few moments of awkward silence. "That's all that you're going to say?" he looked around towards everyone.
"I agree with Kurt," Rachel added, sounding concerned. "I mean... come on, guys. You could be a bit more enthusiastic than that for Dave," she nodded briefly.
"Why does it seem like you two knew already?" Lauren asked, from the top right corner, looking towards both Rachel and Kurt.
Quinn scoffed. "Because they did... and so did I," she glanced around towards everyone, narrowing her eyes. "We could say the same thing for all of you, though."
"Wait..." Dave interrupted, where his eyebrows furrowed together. "Who knew already?"
Slowly, people began to raise their hands. The only problem with this was that it ended up being everyone in the room, after a few moments... besides Mr. Schue, of course.
Dave's mouth was open, though it seemed as if he was unable to say anything. Finally, he let out a huff that just came out like he was really pissed off. He shook his head, glancing between Quinn, Santana, Finn, Rachel, and Kurt. "Did one of you tell them?"
Kurt thought that his eyes were probably as wide as they could possibly get, at this point. He was honestly afraid that everyone was about to see Dave snap... or maybe even something worse. He immediately began shaking his head furiously, though there was no way that he could get any words out, at that moment.
Dave nodded briefly, then turned his head slightly to look at Quinn.
"Nope," she simply stated, crossing her arms over her stomach.
Looking towards Rachel, she seemed to be taken aback. "David, I would never do that," she replied.
"I wouldn't either, dude... no way," Finn added.
After another few moments, everyone seemed to turn to look at Santana, who was sitting in the middle of everyone, with her legs crossed. It was funny to Kurt, in a way, because it was quite obvious that it had been her, simply by her body language. It wasn't often that they all saw Santana looking uncomfortable, but this was definitely one of those times. She, normally, would have been one of the first people to speak up in a situation like this... or any situation at all, for that matter. But now... she was just sitting there, wide-eyed, unable to make eye contact with anyone.
Dave just continued to stare at her with a tense expression, where he took a deep breath without looking away. "Santana?" he asked calmly, though it just seemed to make her even more uncomfortable as she shifted in her chair.
"What?" she shrugged awkwardly, attempting to act as if she was saying that it had nothing to do with her.
Dave smirked. "It was you, right?" he nodded once.
Santana crossed her arms, pursing her lips together. "Um, no... why would I do that?" she asked, still doing a horrible job at denying the accusation.
Dave huffed in amusement, glancing down to the floor momentarily, as he began to shake his head. "How did you guys find out?" he looked around towards everyone.
Slowly, Brittany raised her right hand up nervously.
"Britt!" Santana shouted, though one could wonder whether she had done that to try and act as if it was all Brittany's fault... or whether she was afraid that Brittany was about to say that she had heard it from Santana, herself.
"I'm sorry," Brittany shrugged lightly, turning a little towards Santana in her chair. "All you said was that he was happy, and I didn't think that it was a big deal if I told anyone, and then before I knew it..." she shrugged again, "everybody knew."
Santana rolled her eyes, crossing her arms once again, as she scoffed in irritation. Though, just like before, she seemed to be completely speechless for the first time in a long time.
Dave continued staring at her, crossing his own arms, as he still smirked. To be quite honest, he looked a little scary, at this point. "So... you didn't tell anybody, huh?" he asked sarcastically.
It took all but a few seconds before Santana busted out into a rant. "Okay, fine!" she shouted, shaking her head. "I did it... but it was an accident," she nodded towards him firmly. "I wasn't going around telling everyone like it was my business to tell," she rolled her eyes. "We were arguing on the phone because you were just sitting there complaining- like you've been doing a lot lately, I might add- and I forgot that Brittany was around and I said it to you. Next thing I know, she's asking me about it and I freaked out and just told her about how people from... the 60s or whatever, used to say gay instead of happy. And then I told her that that's what I meant, but that she shouldn't be going around telling everyone."
Now, Everyone was just staring at her with at least one of their eyebrows raised.
"Obviously," Santana continued, glancing over towards Brittany, with an annoyed look on her face, "that didn't work very well because now everybody knows before you were able to tell them yourself. And now, I just feel like crap and I don't know what else I can say to you," she shrugged. "I didn't mean to do it and it was an accident. But I'm sorry."
It was quite strange to hear those words coming out of Santana's mouth. Not that she had never felt sorry about something that she had done in the past, but she certainly wasn't the type to apologize to someone in front of everyone. This just left everyone looking a little more shocked and confused.
Santana, clearly, realized that everyone was probably thinking the exact same thing. "Okay, so I can't remember the last time that I've said that to anyone in front of all of you, and I'm sure that most of you think that I'm lying, but I'm not," she shook her head once more. "I'm sorry," she stated firmly, but sincerely. She finally relaxed back against her chair, crossing her arms again.
There was complete silence in the room for a few moments. Mr. Schuester probably should have intervened during this situation a long time ago, but he still just stood next to Dave at the front of the room, looking as if he didn't have a clue as to what he could possibly say.
Taking another deep breath, Dave's smirk widened. "You done?" he asked calmly.
Santana shrugged lightly, nodding her head unsurely. "Yeah," she replied in her usual, irritated tone.
After another few moments, Dave slowly began to nod as well. "It's cool," he shrugged.
Santana's eyes narrowed immediately, as her mouth dropped open a bit. "What?" she asked dramatically.
"It's fine," Dave nodded again, smiling. "Apology accepted," he simply stated.
"Just like that?" Santana asked, clearly confused and surprised.
"Yep," Dave replied, nodding once more.
Kurt was just looking back and forth between the two of them, not understanding anything that had just happened. He eventually looked towards a few of the other members of New Directions, noticing that most were snickering, with their hands covering their mouths.
The only other people who still seemed to be completely confused were Rachel and Mr. Schuester.
Santana's expression relaxed, though her eyes remained wide. She obviously didn't know what had just gone on, though she definitely wasn't about to argue. "Okay..." she stated unsurely.
Slowly, almost everyone began turning slightly in their chairs to stare right back at her again.
She glanced around, where her eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. "What?" she finally asked, after a few more moments of silence.
Artie cleared his throat, glancing down towards the floor momentarily before looking at her with a grin. "You do realize that pretty much all of us were in on that just so that we could see you freak out for a little bit, right?"
Almost everyone in the room began to laugh lightly. Santana quickly understood what had just happened.
Everybody had been in on it... well, everyone besides Kurt, Rachel, and Mr. Schuester, it seemed. Kurt wasn't sure as to why he hadn't heard about what was going to happen before it did, but he definitely found the humor in the situation. It wasn't often that Santana appeared uncomfortable or apologetic... though, none of them, besides Dave and Brittany, knew of the correct reason as to why she had kind of freaked out.
Santana's face tensed up as almost everyone continued laughing, where she eventually rolled her eyes and stared straight towards the dry erase board. "I hate you all," she simply said, shaking her head.
"That's okay," Brittany smiled, patting the top of one of her hands. "We still love you," she laughed.
Santana continued to shake her head, though her expression soon changed into a smile as she, also, began to laugh. "You're an ass, you know that?" she nodded at Dave.
"Yeah, well," Dave smiled, as he shrugged slightly and raised one of his eyebrows again. "I had to do it," he laughed.
Rachel turned to Finn, looking at him in disbelief. "Why didn't I know about this?"
Finn immediately stopped laughing, glancing towards her, as he attempted to look sympathetic. "Uh, it was... just a last minute kind of thing," he motioned towards Dave with his left hand.
Mercedes huffed in amusement, gaining everyone's attention. "I think we all need to remember something... once a rumor gets started in here, it's definitely gonna get around to everybody eventually," she laughed.
Almost everyone started laughing or agreeing with her. Even Rachel was grinning at this point, shaking her head when looking right at Dave.
"Okay," Mr. Schuester finally interrupted. "I don't get you guys, but..." he laughed, though he was still a little confused, "we do need to get back to work!" He quickly patted Dave on the shoulder once again.
"Sorry, Mr. Schue," Dave laughed. "I, uh... I still meant what I said to you guys, though," he nodded. "Thank you. Really. And I know that I've already talked to most of you about this, but uh..." he glanced down towards the floor, where his expression grew more serious.
He swallowed hard, finally looking back up. "I'm still not ready for them," he gestured towards one of the closed doors, "to know right now, so... hopefully we can do a better job at keeping it quiet, you know?" he smiled.
Everybody knew that Dave had meant the rest of the school, and just knowing that he trusted them enough to let them know the truth meant a lot... even if it hadn't been his own decision. Now over the fact that she hadn't been filled in on the details of the previous situation, Rachel was the first to speak up.
"Dave..." she quickly glanced around towards everyone, smiling wide. "I think I can speak for everybody when I say that we definitely will," she nodded. "And we're all really proud of you."
Dave smiled back at her, nodding. He looked around the room again, seeing just about everyone else doing the same. It was such a great feeling to finally have everything out and in the open. Things were so different now than they used to be... so much better... and he wouldn't ever want that to change again.
Kurt kept his gaze on Dave, feeling like he never wanted to look away. For a moment, it was as if he forgot everything that had happened between them... and he was just feeling that sensation, once again, that he had previously felt whenever he'd been around Dave. It was the butterflies in the stomach feeling, which just caused him to keep on smiling.
Dave eventually looked at Kurt, nodding once, before he glanced away quickly and cleared his throat nervously. "Thanks guys," he smiled again. "I appreciate it." He started walking over towards the far right, sitting down next to Tina, who nudged his ribs slightly with her elbow. He smiled at her, glancing behind himself slightly when Quinn had leaned forward to rest her hands on his shoulders.
Kurt couldn't help but continue to look over to Dave from the other side of the room. He still felt scared about everything... yet, seeing him now, Kurt felt like he really needed to talk to Dave, to tell him what was going on, as soon as possible...
Kurt quietly approached Dave, who was standing at his opened locker putting a few textbooks away. He still felt nervous, especially since they hadn't really talked lately, but he knew that he didn't want to keep avoiding Dave anymore.
He wanted to tell him the truth... About the breakup. About his feelings. About his fears...
About what he was still trying to figure out.
"Hi," he said softly.
Dave turned his head to the left to see Kurt, where he glanced over his face for a moment, before a small smile formed. "Hey," he replied back quietly.
Kurt looked down towards the floor momentarily, clearing his throat. "How are you doing?"
Dave closed his locker, turning his body more to face Kurt. "I'm okay," he nodded briefly. "How about you?"
"I'm okay," Kurt responded.
They both looked away from each other nervously, as they both weren't sure of what to say. Of course, it was still awkward... but only Kurt knew that he was able to fix that between them.
Dave lifted his right hand up, rubbing the back of his neck.
"So, um..." Kurt finally glanced back at Dave. "I thought that what you did to Santana the other day was funny," he smiled again. "Mean," he nodded, as he began to laugh, "but funny."
"Yeah, well," Dave laughed lightly. "She deserved it," he shrugged.
With Dave looking right back at him, Kurt seemed to forget about everything else that he had wanted to say. He just felt like he was getting lost in Dave's eyes, and he wasn't sure of what he could do to bring himself back.
Dave's own smile diminished, where he looked away, as if the way Kurt had been looking at him had just made him uncomfortable and... sad.
Kurt, of course, noticed this, but he honestly couldn't blame Dave for that... not after everything that had happened.
"Still though," Kurt finally continued. "I thought you, um... handled everything really well," he nodded once more.
"Thanks," Dave smiled again, though only for a moment.
Kurt cleared his throat. "I'm just surprised that I didn't hear about what was going on before it happened, but... whatever," he laughed.
"Oh," Dave shrugged, sliding both of his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "I don't know," he shook his head. "I pretty much found out that everybody had already heard the day before from Finn... and then I just kind of told him what I was gonna do that day, and I don't know," he shrugged again. "I guess word got around to almost everybody beforehand, but... yeah."
Kurt thought that Finn probably never mentioned what was going on because he had kept bugging Kurt about his breakup with Blaine. He honestly thought that Kurt was completely heartbroken, and that he was just pretending to be okay. It made sense, in a way- but Kurt definitely would've appreciated a heads-up.
"Well," Kurt smiled, "it was great."
Dave nodded quickly, swallowing once. "Yeah."
Kurt knew that it was now or never... and he definitely didn't want it to be never. He took a deep breath, as a sympathetic expression instantly came to his face. "So, um... I'm really sorry that things got so messed up..." he nodded. "I just... I was just confused and scared and-"
"It's not your fault," Dave interrupted, though he was just smiling sadly. "You don't need to be sorry," he shook his head.
"But I am..." Kurt replied, feeling his throat tightening up. He took a few moments before speaking again. "I miss talking to you," he whispered.
Dave glanced over Kurt's face a few more times, though he still seemed sad. He attempted to smile again, but it didn't really come off as one. "We can still talk, you know," he nodded.
"I know," Kurt said, "I just mean..." he glanced back down towards the floor momentarily, telling himself to just let Dave know the truth. "I just miss how it used to be."
"Me too," Dave responded, only to look away again, as if he was having a hard time talking about all of this with Kurt.
Kurt took another deep breath, bringing his hands together to rub them nervously. "Do you, um... do you think that we could-"
"Kurt," Dave interrupted once more, shaking his head. He looked down towards the floor, licking his upper lip once, before glancing back up. "I'm sorry, I... I just can't talk to you about this right now, okay?"
Oh.
"Okay," Kurt attempted to smile, nodding briefly.
Tell him, Kurt told himself. Just tell him...
Kurt cleared his throat once more, scratching the side of his neck with his right hand, even though it didn't itch. He just didn't know what he was doing and he felt like trying to tell Dave all of the things that he wanted to say in the middle of the hallway was probably a bad idea.
"Are you, um," Kurt finally spoke again, "are you thinking about going to prom?"
While Kurt had stated many times since their Junior prom that there was no way he'd ever be going to their Senior prom, he had actually been talked into going by Mercedes, especially since a big group of them were planning on going together. Plus, it was the last dance before they'd all be leaving each other.
Dave raised one of his eyebrows, shaking his head briefly. "No... Why? Are you?"
Kurt shrugged. "I wasn't planning on it, but... Mercedes kind of talked me into it. You know, it's the last big thing before graduation, so..."
"Yeah," Dave nodded, attempting to smile again.
"But, um," Kurt glanced around the hallway momentarily, "there's a bunch of us that are planning on going together," he smiled back. "I'd love it if you came, too," he nodded.
Kurt knew that it was short notice, especially since prom was happening that Saturday night- though he, himself, hadn't agreed to go until just recently.
Dave brought his left hand up, rubbing his forehead. "Um... nah, that's okay. I, uh... just bad memories from last year, I guess," he laughed, though it came out fake. "I... I don't know. Thanks, though," he nodded as well.
Kurt looked down towards his hands, knowing that he wasn't doing a very good job at what he had come over to do. So... Blaine and I broke up... just say that, he encouraged himself. When he realized that he had less than a minute before they'd both have to get to their next class, he just decided to ask Dave if they could talk later.
"Dave... do you think that we could-"
"What's up, losers?" a random jock asked them, as he walked by.
Kurt turned his head slightly, rolling his eyes, only to look back to see Dave shaking his head.
"I can't wait to get out of here," he smirked, huffing in amusement.
Honestly, the things people would yell out at them were seriously getting old... but everybody in glee club was pretty much used to it by now. Even Dave.
Kurt laughed lightly, nodding. "Yeah, me too."
"So... what were you saying?" Dave asked, with a small smile returning to his face.
Say something.
"I, uh," Kurt began awkwardly, which just made him even more nervous... "It... it doesn't matter," he eventually said, smiling, as he shook his head briefly.
What are you doing?
Dave continued smiling, glancing over Kurt's face a few more times, before he began to nod back.
The warning bell rang, where a lot of the other students in the hallway began walking towards their next class.
"Anyways," both of Dave's eyebrows shot up for a moment, "um... I gotta go, so," he nodded again.
"Okay," Kurt replied quietly, clearly sounding disappointed with himself.
What is wrong with you? Just say something.
"Okay," Dave cleared his throat, glancing over towards the lockers on one side of the hallway for a second, before looking back. "If I, uh... if I don't talk to you before prom..." he paused for a few moments, gazing right at Kurt. "I hope you have a good time," he smiled sadly again.
Kurt smiled back, though he couldn't even open his mouth to reply. He wanted to say something now more than ever... but he just couldn't.
Dave waited another moment, before he nodded once again, and turned around to walk down the hallway towards his class.
Quick, say something...
Kurt's smile disappeared quickly, where his expression turned sad. He was mad at himself... and he just felt so stupid for not being able to tell Dave anything. He wasn't even able to ask him if they could talk later, when they both wouldn't be out in the middle of the hallway. He closed his eyes, shaking his head in irritation, as he took a deep breath.
This definitely didn't go the way that he had planned.