This story is situated in the time when Bucky is pronounced dead, Peggy had THE speech with Steve and Steve is still devastated by his loss, not being able to forgive himself for Bucky's fate.

"Good morning, Agent Carter," a strong voice rang in her ears.

"I am glad you decided to finally join us," added the voice.

Peggy opened her eyes slowly and had to blink a few times. Her head hurt terribly, and her eyes were not able to focus. She felt dizzy. Does she have a concussion? She did not know for sure. She even could not remember what did happen and where she is. What she could tell, however, was, that she was lying on the ground in a dark room without windows. That was never a good sign. She tried to lean on her arms to get into the sitting position, but she was not able to stretch her arms. The voice chuckled.

"Do not even think about escaping, agent. It's a waste of energy. And now, when you are awake, you are gonna tell us about the plans the US government has," somebody dragged her upwards by her collar. She put her legs underneath herself, but otherwise, she was just being manipulated as a doll.

"What is the address of the US government headquarters in London? What were your intentions when you got into our laboratory and where is the Captain America right now?!" he was talking loudly. He knew he caused her head pain and that was why he chose to almost scream. She could now evaluate her condition. Concussion, a few broken ribs, twisted ankle, dislocated shoulder. And she still did not have any idea what had happened before. The silence fell after the man finished listing his requirements.

"Where are the US government headquarters?!" his face was close, but it was still fuzzy. She could only smell the odour from his mouth, and it made her stomach turn. She bent over and threw up on his shoes. He shouted and slapped her face. She could not hold on to her balance, fell from the chair and when her head hit the ground, she lost her consciousness again. Before she did, however, she could hear the man say: "Do not worry, Peter. We will break her."

The next time she gained consciousness again, she did not open her eyes. She just stayed lying on the ground, listening. Nothing could be heard. She lifted her hand and touched her forehead. The blood there already dried up. Her head was sensitive, but she felt more aware than before. Slowly, she opened her eyes. There was no light in the room so she could not see anything. Peggy slowly put her knees under herself and stood on all four. She found a wall. She sat up, leaning against the wall and drew her legs towards her chest.

She tried to think back, but she still could not remember what had happened. After a while (and she did not have any idea of how long had she been sitting there in the dark), she started to review memories that certainly did not have any connections to her current situation, but that had comforted her. Even in the dark, she could see Steve's blue eyes. The Captain she promised to protect. The man because of whom Erskine died. The man was the only living sample of the project Rebirth.

She could remember how lost he looked when he lost his friend. It was a month ago, but even before this mission, he did not look any better, or any less depressed. An image appeared in front of her eyes.

Steve was sitting in front of her in the mass hall. "I do not like this assignment," he admitted.

"It will be fine, it's nothing out of ordinary," Peggy tried to comfort him, but could still see his distrust.

"There will be no backup," he said and she could see how worried he was.

"It is normal for agents not to have one, captain," she said. Steve looked even more worried than usual.

"But if you are in the middle of…"

The vision started to blur. She could not hold on to it any longer. She was so close to remembering what her mission was. But, after all, it might be better not to remember.

She was a well-trained agent. She knew perfectly well what she could expect from her jailers. The only question was how they are going to torture her to get the intel out of her.

…

After a period, which was definitely longer than a few hours, she started to have her guesses. The starvation was easy, and she would be weaker to resist their persuasion.

…

It must have been days since she woke up for the first time. Her mouth was dry, her stomach rumbling. She thought about her family, about her closest friends. She knew that there was no chance of meeting them again. She thought about Bucky Barnes, the first of Howling Commando who died. At least, his death was quick.

…

She did not know how it happened, but suddenly a bottle of water appeared next to her. She must have dozed off. She smelled the water first. But then, she thought, why would they try to poison her? One shot between her eyes would be quicker. No food, only water. So, they did not want to let her die of dehydration, they only wanted to weaken her. But should she even try to stay alive? She knew her fate by now. Should not it be easier to let herself die of organ failure due to dehydration? She thought about the reasons why she should try to stay alive. There might be a one percent chance that they will find her on time. She thought about her friends at home, about her parents. But, honestly, it was a pair of big blue eyes that made her drink the water and persuade herself that maybe – maybe – there was a possibility that she will see those eyes again.

…

Her will not to die was gone… she was only waiting. And he could still see Steve's worried face.

…

She was woken up from her apathy. She did not know whether she was sleeping or not, she just felt weak. Somebody switched on the lights. She looked up at a man who was standing at the door. The first sight told her that it was not the one she hoped to see so desperately. But Steve was somewhere else, somewhere safe. The man spoke with a rough voice.

"I think it's time to speak again, Agent."

Her theory proved to be correct. They were letting her here to break her to undermine her loyalty to the army. Now she had to stand the last torture and then, hopefully, she will die. Surprisingly, the thought made her muster the rest of the energy which was left in her. She straightened up and looked at her prisoner in his eyes.

…

The interrogation took hours. They caused her a few broken ribs, a bump on her head and bruised limbs, minor burns and dislocated fingers. Only after the main "interrogator" pointed a gun between her eyes did he have to admit that she would not be broken and that he had wasted time with her. She could see how angry he was, but honestly, what could he do to her anymore? She has accepted death.

"I know you think that you won, agent. But we will see. Before you die, I will reveal our secret to you. Do you want to know how we plan on getting rid of the Captain?" his grimace would be scary, but she did not have any more strength to care.

"Bring him in!" he yelled and after somebody else entered the room, he left. On his leave his just said "Kill her!" and he left.

Peggy tried to straighten up so she could face her murderer. And if she was not already on the ground, she would definitely fall down. She knew the man standing in front of her. She swallowed hard, her eyes meeting his in a hope that maybe – just maybe – he would recognize her and help her. But his eyes were as blank as his face. He did not show any sign of recognition.

"Barnes?" she asked weakly.

He strode towards her and she half expected him to stretch his arm and help her up.

The moment he stretched his arm, however, was the moment she realized that he was not her way out. His metal arm (which made it clear that it IS really Barnes because his arm was found as the only piece at the place of his fall) hit the ground in the place where her head was a moment back. She did not know where she got the energy to dodge, but somehow, she was not about to give up and let herself be killed without her last defiance.

Barnes was quicker than she remembered him. For a moment, she was not sure whether it was her lack of energy or that he really was quicker now. However, after watching him take the table one-handed and throwing it against a wall, she realized that Hydra must have created their own serum, which was similar to the one which was used on Steve. Steve. What would he do once he meet Bucky? He would trust him, and that would be his death.

"Barnes? I need you to listen to me," Peggy dodged another punch.

"I need you to focus, Barnes." He went after her again. She was already on her legs, and she jumped out of his way.

"It's nice to see you alive, Barnes," she said sarcastically but then her tone changed. "You must let Steve know that you are alive," she tried to speak persuasively. "And once he knows, he will save you. He will find you. He will do anything to bring you home, Barnes," When she mentioned Steve, his eyes seemed to focus a little bit, but then the blank expression, again, sprawled across his face. When she saw the change in his expression, she slowed down in the hope that he finally woke up. However, her assumptions proved to be wrong. He closed the distance between them and reached out for her. She tried to jump away, but he caught her hand and twisted it behind her back. She let out a cry when he pressed her dislocated fingers, that somehow jumped back on their place. But she did not notice that those fingers were where they should be. It did not cause her any relief because within seconds she was pressed against the wall, her face trying to turn to see him, but he was holding her tight.

"It's alright, Barnes. Steve will find you…" she repeated when he turned her. They faced each other for a second.

"And once he does, you mustn't tell him about this, Bucky," she said firmly. He stopped as if he was surprised. "He mustn't know. It would break him." He reached out and finally managed to grab her under her neck and pressed her against the wall, lifting her so their eyes were levelled. They were so close that she could watch his eyes. With her last breath, she repeated. "Steve will save you, Bucky. … And you mustn't… tell… him… about… "For a moment there she thought that his expression had changed, that he remembered. But then the blackness enveloped her, and she lost consciousness before she could finish the sentence. Her last thoughts belonged to Steve.

When she woke up, she started coughing. She touched her neck, but quickly withdraw her fingers when she touched a very sensitive skin. She tried to take deep breaths, but her throat hurt, so she tried smaller inhales. That worked. She gave herself a few minutes to catch up on breathing. She felt oddly dizzy. When she opened her eyes, she had to blink a few times. She was lying in the woods. It was a day; the autumn sun was shining above her head. She rotated her head a little bit to see who her companion was. She could hear someone breathing, but no one was moving.

Barnes was sitting two meters away from her, watching her closely, but not moving and not showing any sign of surprise when she returned his gaze. His mask was down, he looked strangely pale and thin. The thing that scared her the most, was, however, his blank gaze. As if he was and was not there at the same time.

"Barnes?"

"Glad to see you alive," he sounded hoarse.

"What happened?" She asked and tried to sit up, but her arms gave away and she almost fell to the ground with her face first.

"You were imprisoned by Hydra."

"Yes, I can remember that. But how did I get out?" She tried to put her hands at a better angle, but she was shaking as a leaf and was not strong enough to sit up. After another fruitless attempt, she gave up and stayed lying on the ground, but rolled on her side.

"I dragged you out. They thought that you were dead and that I was disposing of the body. They did not think that I could disobey their orders, but…" his voice broke. She waited, but then her impatience got the better of her "And?" she pressed him a little.

"I remembered," he said simply.

"Remembered?" Peggy lifted her hands and watched them shaking in front of her eyes, trying to focus on anything else but the blank face of her former friend, who scared her more than she was willing to admit.

"Yes, I remembered who I was. Once you… once you called me Bucky." His whispers brought her eyes back to him.

"When you used this name, I … I could remember who I am. Not immediately. But when I took control over my body, you were already unconscious. So, as I said before, I presented you as a dead body. They let me lift you up and bring you outside so the body would not smell inside. But I already knew what was going on… well… more or less. So, I ran away with you. I do not think that they realized what was going on immediately, so we had an advantage. I did not use roads, so they were not able to follow us."

"Where are we?" She could feel herself flagging and was losing her consciousness again.

"Close to the US army camp. Do not fall asleep, Carter," he jumped towards her and shook her shoulder. "You must be awake so they can find you," His grab was firmer than she expected, and she grimaced. He withdrew his hand quickly once he spotted it, looking guilty.

"Why? Can't you bring me in there?" She felt so terribly weak.

"I can't enter the camp with you looking dead, Carter. They think I am the one who is dead."

"Steve would be happy to see you alive. He had almost broken down once you fell from the mountain."

"What would he say when I am the one having you in my arms? He would be jealous and would not forgive me in his life," he tried to joke, but they were both so spent that neither of them really appreciated this try.

"I am trying to stay awake, Barnes, but I am not able to walk on my own."

"Shhh," he shushed her suddenly.

"What?"

"Be quiet, Carter. Someone is running towards us."

"Isn't it good?" she was not thinking straight.

"I think that when a soldier sees someone strange so close to his camp would first shoot and then ask." He looked strangely at her. "I would leave you here, but I am not sure which regiment is put here and that they know you. Even though your reputation precedes you, they may not act accordingly. I hoped that you would be able to walk on your own in there, but now, I am not sure anymore. We cannot trust anyone." He looked nervous and Peggy could tell that he was being paranoid.

"Barnes, those are our people. You do not have to worry- "

"Shh, be quiet, or they will shoot us. Americans shoot before they ask. They shoot anyone."

"Barnes, it's not true, they only made you believe in it…" She started coughing again, not being able to carry on her speech. The adrenalin and quick breathing made her dizzy again.

He put one of his arms under her back and the second one under her knees. He lifted her effortlessly.

"Did they experiment on you, Barnes?" She asked weakly.

"Shush, try to be quiet," he wanted to move them from the road, but the runner was quicker.

"Who the hell is this quick?" he muttered as he looked franticly around them for a way out. The runner was approaching them quickly. Maybe too quickly.

"Hey! Who is there?" Peggy's heart started racing when she heard this voice and so did Bucky's, with the difference that Peggy would like to run to him, while Bucky froze on spot.

Steve appeared behind the curve, expecting a delivery man whose vehicle was lost somewhere on his way. And he definitely did not expect what he saw. He froze on spot, watching the pair from a significant distance, and his eyes opened widely.

Bucky was standing in the middle of a road, looking wild. His hair was long and greasy, his face was covered with a wild stubble, his glare was signified with his sunken eyes with dark circles around them. He looked underfed but stronger all at once. One of his arms was replaced by a piece of metal, the second arm was shaking under the legs of a person he was carrying. Only when he saw that this – creature – was not about to jump on him, did he focus on the carried person. And his heart skipped a beat. It was a terribly stupid thing to do, but he could not help himself. He took a few long steps towards him and the person he had been searching for the last ten days.

But as he moved towards him, Bucky took a few steps back. Suddenly lost again in his thoughts, not knowing who he is, where he is or what should he do. He looked at Peggy in his arms. He felt that she lost her consciousness again, but now it was different. Her breath started to be slower. Much too slow for a living creature. He panicked and lowered her on the ground, Steve closing the distance and checking her over.

Steve's eyes were concerned. He tried to feel the pulse. It was there, but it was too weak. He tried to shake her shoulder, but she did not gain consciousness again.

"Crap! Peggy? Peggy, wake up! Bucky, help me!" His eyes bored into Bucky's and something made Bucky step back. His thoughts a whirl before his eyes.

"Bucky, help me!" small Steve was sitting on a strong branch of a tree good three metres above the ground.

"What are ya doin' there?" asked Bucky in surprise. "Was someone hunting you again?"

"I would not run if they did." Steve snorted. "I found Ms Goodwick's cat." He happily showed Bucky the furry bundle in his arms. "But the cat is afraid of going down."

"And so are you," laughed Bucky and shook his head.

"I am not afraid. I just do not know how to do it. Do you have any idea how to get us down?" Steve asked matter-of-factly as if they were discussing math homework. Bucky was laughing as he went to ask for a ladder to the closest house.

"Bucky, help me!" Steve was dragging a heavy armchair.

"What are you doing? You bury yourself under this if your leg slips on the stairs."

"That's why I am asking for your help."

"Usually, people ask before they are in danger. If the situation allows, of course." He took the armchair with Steve.

"What situations do you have in mind?"

"Army. In the war, you usually do not have time to ask beforehand. But when you are trying to help your neighbour, you have plenty of time to ask for help."

"Bucky, help me." Steve sounded annoyed as he watched his best friend laughing at him.

"It's fun to watch you. I will give you a few more tries, but if you put yourself in danger of suffocation, I will gladly help you. We cannot lose our captain." They were sharing a bedroom in a motel they stayed in. Steve was trying to tie his tie properly.

"Why are you trying to look so perfect anyway? I thought you were to meet with my friends from Azano." Bucky watched Steve closely. "Is anyone special going to be there?" he asked innocently. Steve's ears went red. Bucky did not laugh loudly that time. He did not want to undermine Steve's self-confidence. He was thinking, however, whether does Steve get a chance at Carter. Bucky spent some time with her at camp before they set off to Azano. She disappeared a few times and nobody spoke about her as if she did not exist. Agents. They had to have the nerve to do that. And he heard that Carter is one of the best. But can she be interested in his friend? He supposed that if she was interested, it would be because of Steve's glory. He had no idea that she was during Steve's training and the procedure. Not knowing that it was harder to believe that she would be interested in the skinny boy wearing a heart on his sleeve. He got up and helped him with the tie. All in all, that's something that Steve must find out by himself.

Bucky was standing there stunned. He shook his head and suddenly moved forward to help Steve.

She was there, lying, breathing, but unconscious. Why was Steve looking so worried? Was this the first time he saw her this vulnerable? Bucky thought that it might be the reason. Steve was checking her over. Her uniform was worn out and split on some places. He touched her head and found a huge bump, then he noticed her bruised throat. When he checked on her ribs, he noticed that some of them might be broken because they moved under his touch. He knew that when the stomach was too hard it meant inner bleeding, but he was more worried that he could feel how much weight she lost. He almost always fell the bones. She jerked (but not woke up) when he pressed her pelvis. So, something was wrong in there, he made a mental note to say so to the field doctor. He moved to her legs. Thinner, somewhere it seemed that they are swollen, but nothing broken. And still, she was unconscious.

"I think that they did not give her anything to eat," said Bucky slowly.

"How long?" Steve asked in shock.

"I do not know. How long was she there? I knew about her only a moment before they led me to her. But from what I know, they gave their prisoners only water." They exchanged a look and Steve nodded.

He lifted her off the ground and aimed at the camp.

"You coming?" he turned to Bucky who did not move a bit.

"I do not know if I can Steve. Those things I did… They did something with me, and I do not know what!" he sounded afraid and angry.

"We can help you, Buck. Stark can help you. Come on, the team would be happy to see you." Steve was looking intently.

Bucky slowly nodded and took a step forward.

Then Steve set a quicker pace and did not look back, knowing that his friend was following him. All of his attention was now focused on Peggy who was in his arms, somewhat perfectly fitting just right there. Was it even possible? He felt as if they were two pieces of the puzzle and it finally fit.

He entered the camp in a hurry, aiming straight for the medical tent, summoning the nurses on his way. Bucky was following him until they entered the camp. Then he stood there, not knowing what to do next. He looked around. The camp was working. Before it was early in the morning, some people were still looking unfocused and waking up. He was breathing heavily and quickly, he started panicking.

Suddenly he spotted a group of men who were leaving the mess hall. He stopped breathing. When the first of them spotted him, he stopped, frozen on his spot. The others followed suit. Then, Dugan screamed happily: "Barnes! Bucky! What the hell! I knew it! I knew it! I knew that you did not die!" he was screaming and running towards him, and before Bucky knew it, he hugged him tight. However, he very quickly realized that Bucky was not comfortable with it and he withdrew back. The others arrived at them and were smiling, even though some of them were looking wary, nervous maybe? He scuffed his feet, his eyes watching the dirt on his boots.

"So, before we start the usual chat about how the hell did you come out… we should take you to showers and then we should let you eat, what do you think?" asked Dugan still beaming.

Bucky looked up at him surprised. He did not realize that after such a long time without a shower, he might smell terrible. His talk made the others grin and Bucky realized that those people, his friends, were not looking at him weirdly because he was raised from the dead. They were nervous about him because they ate army food and now, they smelled him. A dangerous combination.

He took a shower.

Then he ate. He listened to his friends talking.

They did not press him to talk to them too, silently understanding that when he is ready, he will tell.

He made Phillips nervous.

And he made Stark excited.

And he took another shower because the almost-hot water was nice.

And then he ate more.

And all the time he was looking for Steve, but he was nowhere to be seen.

He talked to Stark, and they tested his arm.

And then he ate.

When they suggested him to go to sleep, he went to lie down, but he refused to fall asleep.

And then he ate.

The howling commandos were surprised by the amount of food he was able to consume, but they did not comment on that.

And he took another shower, still feeling that he must smell terrible.

They arrived in the morning and now the sun was disappearing behind the horizon. And he still did not see Steve. He noticed that even the rest of the commandos started to look worried.

It wasn't until the dinner that Steve joined them.

All of them went silent.

"She will be fine," he said quietly, the relief which they could hear in his voice not quite reaching his eyes, which looked still concerned.

And they were best friends because Steve was sure they have plenty of questions, but they did not ask. They knew that he will add more details once he is ready.

It was at night. Bucky refused to fall asleep so he was sitting on a crate in front of the mess hall. A shadow joined him, but he did not panic. He knew this man.

"Bucky," Steve breathed out.

"Heard you coming," he said.

"Yeah. The super-hearing comes in handy sometimes, right?"

"Usually, I think that my head just… blows up. So much noise."

"You will get used to it."

Steve sat next to him.

"Carter?"

"Not good, but the doctor is optimistic. The biggest problem was malnutrition. Her body can't fight the other problems when it is… out of fuel – do not laugh, the doctor explained it to me like that."

"Well, he used a good dictionary. He wanted to be sure you understand."

"Do I look like someone who understands cars?"

"Well, maybe he knows that you like motorcycles… a lot since you have tendencies to send them towards the enemy."

"It happened once. And it was an accident."

"It looked great on the video, though."

A silence fell, but not an uncomfortable one.

"I hope Carter will be ok," said Bucky silently.

"So do I."

"I hope she will be ok," Bucky repeated and then he continued, "ok enough to marry you… have kids with you… the firstborn named James…" Steve looked at him in surprise.

"Did not you bump your head too? She does not feel… I think she does not know…"

"Oh, she does know, Steve."

"How do you know?"

"Because when I was there – and I guess that you guessed right that I was the one who caused her the bruises on her neck – when I was there… her only thoughts were about you. And she had in mind only one thing. That you mustn't know what happened. She was so worried about you that you would not have been able to cope with the fact that I was the one who killed her… that she told me not to talk about it. What she must have thought were her last thoughts… were about you."

Another silence fell.

It took Steve a few minutes to absorb this information. Was it possible? That Peggy Carter – the best spy the US has – was interested in him?

He exhaled deeply and a spark of hope started to burn in his chest. He felt thrilled about it

He knew that it would take some time, but Bucky is going to be fine.

That Peggy is going to be fine.

That everything in this crazy world is going to be just fine.

So, what do you think? do you like it so far? Please let me know, your comments are more than welcome! :)