"He writes just like a child, doesn't he? And, Maker's breath, he shares her bed, but he can't spell her name!"
"I've never known you to be so cruel, Bethany," Ella said. "Is he as handsome as I remember?"
"Did you see this? 'L-i-s-s-andra?' Dear Maker, I never knew he was a simpleton!"
"I don't recall him being stupid. In truth, I don't recall him speaking at all."
Bethany set the letter down beside her on the bed. "I thought he was smarter than I was. He spoke that awful Qunari language to the Arishok and somehow kept that huge barbarian from killing us. Who knows? Maybe I was wrong."
"You said he was from Tevinter, didn't you? Maybe he writes in a different language."
"Maybe. I'm done talking about the elf, Ellie. Isn't there anything else we can talk about? The First Enchanter…"
"Why do you hate him so much? I've never known you to hate anyone."
"I don't know. Maybe I don't hate him, but he sure doesn't make it easy to like him."
"Why not? He didn't seem a cruel sort from what I saw of him."
Bethany stared at the scrawl that marred an otherwise clean and useful parchment. Part of her wanted to wipe the misshapen letters away in a lick of flame, but a tiny part almost appreciated the elf's primitive script. He wanted to see her, even if she'd put Lyssie off visiting forever. Maker, Lyssie, you don't make this easy.
"You didn't see much of him, Ellie."
The girl giggled. "No, not nearly enough."
The flush in the girl's cheeks and her laugh were almost infectious. Bethany quirked her lips.
"You really want to know? All right. The first time I met him, he called me a viper, right after Lyssie, Aveline and I saved him from shades and demons and slave hunters, and, well, only the Maker knows the rest. He told me I was better off in the Circle because I was 'a danger' to myself, to him, to Lyssie, and who knows who else. I'm sure he didn't." She let out a rueful laugh. "Maybe he was right, because I'm here, and he's out there, 'safe.'"
"He called you a viper?"
"I told you he had a thing about mages. I could have been the second coming of Andraste herself in mage form and he'd still have said the same thing. And, yet, he seemed almost happy to see me."
Ella leaned against the wall, her hands at her sides. Bethany wished she would just relax, though perhaps her stiffness was part of her charm. "Have you ever thought…?"
"What? Just say it, Ellie."
"Well, that things might have changed. You've been in the Circle for six years now, and…"
"And, what? Lyssie's no different. Still the same tongue, still the same attitude. I'm surprised the Knight Captain didn't strike her down on the spot—I wanted to."
"You don't really mean that."
She couldn't shorten the endless sigh that escaped her lips. It hissed out of her along with every last bit of air she'd gathered in her lungs until her head spun. She stared down at her feet and traced circles to steady her whirling mind and to silence her slamming heart.
"No, I suppose I don't. I miss her, and six years stuck here hasn't changed that."
"Didn't you say the Circle wasn't so bad, or were you lying to me?" The girl's smile eased the accusation in her words.
"Oh, it's not, I suppose. I never was free the same way Lyssie or Carver were. They'd go ranging all over the fields Mother and Father worked, while I'd be stuck inside until Father finally taught me to master my magic. Still, being held prisoner with your family isn't quite as bad as being held captive by Templars. At least you know your family loves you." Her eyes suddenly prickled and burned. "Lyssie never ran as far as Carver did—he'd be gone for hours, but she came and checked on me constantly as Father worked. She'd stay and play games or just joke around."
She wiped away the single droplet that escaped her lower lid. "No, the Circle isn't that bad. We have libraries, endless shelves of books… We could never afford such things at home, and the most magical tomes were banned by the Chantry. Lyssie and I reread this one book of legends Father scrounged over and over, oh, hundreds of times, I think. Have you ever gotten lost in our books, Ella? I'd heard stories about such storehouses of knowledge, but I couldn't even imagine them growing up in Lothering. The Chantry's few shelves were heaven to me."
"Are you going to see the elf, Bethany?" Ella perched on the edge of her bed, avoiding the letter.
"I don't suppose I have much choice, if I'm ever going to see Lyssie again. Maker, I really messed things up, didn't I?"
"Your sister must love you a great deal from the stories you tell. I can't imagine her holding a grudge."
"Why not? I insulted her lover and ran off like an idiot."
"You never told me why."
"And I'm sure Fenris was just as confused. I made her something a long time ago, when Lyssie was my world, and now he wears it as a token of conquest. Ugh, I've never understood that Ferelden custom!"
"You didn't call him 'the elf,' that time."
"I… Maybe I should allow him his name." She shuddered as his voice hissed viper in her mind.
She'd never get used to Ella's flashes of wisdom. For such a quiet, mousy little thing, the girl took in far too much for her own good. "Maybe you should be easier on yourself and your sister. Six years is a long time, Bethany, and many things change. When you first came to the Circle, I was a little girl, just an apprentice. Now, I'm…"
"My best friend, Ellie. You're the best thing about the Circle, and if you weren't here…"
Ella's smile warmed her more than the courtyard's limited sun had. She didn't pay attention to the crumpling of parchment as she wrapped her arms around the girl, though when the embrace broke, her heart crumpled with it. If only she could have hugged Lyssie the same way…
Thank you, VNV Nation, and your fantastic album, "Of Faith Power and Glory." I'd have never finished this chapter without its utterly perfect typing rhythm.