333 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Walmart with Swiftdrawer & Friends

by Fireking492-BlazeWarriorWolf

This story is a story where many of my OCs come together to unleash chaotic havoc on a random Walmart on Planet Earth by using the list of 333 ways to get kicked out of Walmart as an instruction manual! Join Swiftdrawer, Bray, Dominic, Carlos, the Wacky Clowns, Pirate Blaster, and more as they terrorize Walmart and stick it to the man!

3. The Killer Singing Hamster Dolls

333 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Walmart with Swiftdrawer & Friends

Chapter 3: The Killer Singing Hamster Dolls

Date: February 4th, 2023

*Swiftdrawer* I'm so excited for once. That is, for my next thing to do now that the TP has been placed down. "9. Get a batman costume, put it on, and run around the store screaming at the top of your lungs, 'COME ROBIN! TO THE BATMOBILE!'" This is going to be even better than the YouTube video called Parker Hacks My Vlog with Batman jokes throughout it. I'll make sure of it. I go to the Halloween section of the store which surprisingly still has some costumes in it. I guess no one wanted to be Batman this year because there's a lot of Batman costumes in full branded packing just sitting there. Oh wait, does the one in the front have a post it note? Yes it does. It says: "This item is too woke for Walmart's Earth so it will be removed and disposed of soon enough. Do not attempt to buy this costume. Leave it alone, it's too woke for your children to see." Well, now I know I'm going to have fun with the costume. I grab the one with the post it note on it and teleport straight to the changing room next to the one I killed a person in. Yeah, the one I'm in has a puddle of blood on the floor but that's not that big of a deal at the moment. I simply put on the Batman costume over my disguised gear. When that's done, I teleport back to where I was and begin my move, taking my time to slowly go around people instead of doing it quickly like I have been doing it. Less suspicious that way. And when I pass by the frozen section where Karen and Kevin continued to argue with each other, I yell as loud as I possibly can: "COME ROBIN! TO THE BATMOBILE!" in a poorly done loud and screaming Batman voice. And that's when I started running around the store screaming those words. I mostly just get weird looks the first couple of times but then, some new security guard comes for me. I lure him to one of the TP'd areas and use the shock of that to knock him out while screaming the same thing. After doing this for several minutes, I have pissed off a large number of people but the kids are amused at least. One of them pulls on their parent's right leg as I come running and screaming that in the toy section. "Parent! Look! It's Batman! Batman wants Robin to come to the Batmobile! Come on, please let me go! For I am Robin!"

"I told you about this. No, that's not the real Batman. I know you were his sidekick, Robin. However, the real Batman is missing now that Batman has been banned. Keep a low profile. We can't let anyone know of your secret identity." I stop in my tracks and take off the Batman costume before backtracking to them. "Secret identity? Duel disk, go! I activate the action field Hidden Mines." "Generating action field: Hidden Mines. Action cards dispersed." "What is this?" "What's going on? Who are you?!" "As long as we're inside this field, we can talk freely. This is a special place that's been hidden from the outside world because of a secret option on this device called a duel disk. I would explain more about that. However, I can't keep my friends waiting around for me because we're going to do a way to get kicked out of Walmart that involves some toys after this. So this kid's Robin? I didn't know this universe has actual superheroes." "Oh yeah! I'm Robin alright! *transforms* See?!" "Robin! Don't do this! We don't want to be locked up by the Walmart cops, do we?" "No but like this person said, it's okay!" "Yes it is. I'd like to recruit you two to join a secret collective called BRAINS. At least until Walmart falls. We'll keep you safe, happy, well taken care of, and even make you stronger and more knowledgeable if you wish. The illusion spell cast on me shouldn't affect you two any longer if I can get you to believe in what I'm actually wearing. I'm wearing a full suit of armor. I'm a knight striving to protect space-time from catastrophic timeline interferences and protect civilizations from fascism, tyranny, and capitalism." They believe me for some reason. "Woah! Are you from a world of knights and kingdoms?" "Not exactly. I'm from a modern world where Walmart didn't conquer the world. But I also live in a world of monsters and all sorts of things as well. Why don't I just deactivate this field and take you two to another time in another place so I can explain everything?" They accept and I end up taking them to Twisted Land to explain everything after deactivating the action field. Some time later, I returned to the Walmart with them a second after our departure.

They insisted on joining BRAINS and going offworld at that moment so I said bye to them and sent them to the Kohnanix BRAINS base as I felt that was best. After that, I read the next thing on the list. Yes oh yes. This one is going to be even better! "20. Set up a concert of singing hamster dolls. Get your friends and turn them on all at the same time. Then act like a conductor." I had long since discarded the Batman costume onto the floor somewhere random in the toy section but I don't recall where. Oh well, I'm just going to wait for everyone else to show up to help me set this one up. We're counting this one as a together activity since it requires contributions from the others and we're going to make it even better than what it says to do by adding onto it. It doesn't take long for the others to show up. We worked quickly and methodically, finding the only empty toy aisle(because all the toys are sold out in it.) We arrange the singing hamster dolls we found in a single file fashion and they look outrageous. Some have over the top USA outfits(which we just yanked off, almost setting those hamsters off early by accident) or are wearing overdone profession outfits that have too much glitter on them and too much "lipstick" on that's really just paint. But in a couple minutes, we had done it. And all of us turn them all on at the same time after getting into position and counting one to three. We were not prepared for just what the hamster dolls were going to sing or for how long they would keep singing.. I almost forgot to act like a conductor for them. But when the others played along too by acting like a audience, I remembered. Cheesy and crappy Kids Bop pop music started playing as the hamsters sung at first in horrible Kids Bop style singing: "Lalalalalalala. *the others start acting like an excited crowd watching the concert* Lalalalalala. We're hamsters and we're going to give your parents headaches. Listen to our singing. Fall asleep and wake up worshipping us. We're hamsters. We're hamsters. *switch to demonic singing* We're going to haunt your dreams and keep you awake to play with us forever and ever. Lalalalalala, your parents hate you. And you hate them. We hate them too. Give us some knives and we'll take care of them." The next 5 minutes were just them repeating that over and over again as I conducted them while trying to keep a neutral face. I waved my arms around that whole time.

When they were done, something very strange happened. They actually came to life and broke free of their packaging. Ignoring us, they started to march throughout the store while singing that horrible song and holding miniature axes and knives. A standard boring Walmart customer who watched everything unfold starting with the arrangement of the dolls points at me and shouts: "Evil sorcerer! This was your doing! Because of you, the hamster dolls have come to life! I'm calling the Walmart police! This is horrible! Curse you! And may you rot in prison, you magic freak!" "This was not my doing. I have no idea how they came to life. Even if I could cast magic, I wouldn't be able to do that." They start trying to argue with me. I knock them out as the others go out to stop those hamsters from killing innocent people. I sigh: "How many bodies am I going to have to hide or put in gruesome and visible scenes today? I'll leave this person here." With my speed, I manage to catch one of the hamster dolls who was threatening children and adults alike with a axe that should be too heavy for them to lift. With my hands alone, I took the axe from the hamster I captured after going back to the empty toy aisle with the person I knocked out still there. With that very axe which is around the same size as a full sized knife apparently, I destroy the hamster doll as their singing got distorted more and more until I destroyed the mechanisms required for the singing completely. In not even a minute, I had completely destroyed them. I pocket the axe for safe keeping, not giving a damn that security guards could have easily watched all of this happen from the security room since the aisle is devoid of people. After that, I laughed as I read my next thing to do.

*Pickle Rick Not An Alien* Pickle Rick laughs in his high pitched voice as he goes to do his next thing: "15. Randomly place 24 bags of candy in peoples carts." He goes to the Halloween section where he witnesses Swiftdrawer grab a Batman costume with a post it note on it before teleporting away. The alien whose human disguise's appearance is not relevant starts making a pile of candy bags from bags he grabs in what's left of the candy part of the Halloween section. Using his powers, Pickle Rick levitates the candy bags so he doesn't have to carry them all. The Halloween section is crowded and there's still chaos throughout the entire store so no one pays him any mind. Especially as Swiftdrawer starts screaming and running around. The alien goes around the store, keeping the bags of candy close to the ground to reduce suspicion of what he really is and can do. When he passes by a cart, he every so often levitates a bag of candy into it when whoever is wheeling that cart around isn't looking. When he finishes, he heads towards the toy section to help with the hamster dolls while laughing at all of the yelling he caused. That includes the following lines of dialogue. "What the?! How did this candy get here! I hate candy! I don't want this crap!" "Time to checkout at the self checkout! Wait.. Why do I have candy in my cart? I wasn't planning on passing out candy this year. Maybe it's a sign I should. Oh well, time to get more candy I guess. Shouldn't be a problem, all this candy is Walmart brand anyway. I remember when it all wasn't. Hershey's was a thing and then they got exposed for child labor which isn't even that bad(Author note: It's actually really bad.). They nearly went out of business but then Walmart acquired them. Walmart's Dark Chocolate is the best!" "Candy! Mom! The Candy King is real! He put candy in the cart!" "Dear, there's no such thing as the Candy King. It's probably just a prank." "But mom!" "Candy in my cart?! So that fortune teller was correct after all! Yes oh yes! That means that I will in fact become the Overlord of the entire world! I just have to be patient and start a movement based on this bag of candy appearing in my cart to start with!"

"Eeek! Candy?! I don't buy candy for a reason! They should just call it Satan's Temptations instead of candy because that's all it is! The devil's irresistible lures for children! And when children eat that candy, the devil snatches them away!" "WHO IN THE HELL PUT CANDY IN MY CART?! ONLY I PUT SOMETHING IN MY CART! CANDY IS UNHEALTHY BUT SO GOOD! EVEN SO, IM GOING TO KILL THE BRAT WHO DID THIS! *latin chanting* *calms down* Now that I have cast this ancient spell, my revenge will soon be at hand. Any and all dolls that have a "interact with me" opening in their packaging so you can try out pressing the button to trigger them is now cursed with the objective to murder! Not just whoever did this because I don't know who did! Instead, they'll kill everyone until whoever did this confesses! About 5 minutes after their play cycles are over will any one of them start killing! But during those 5 minutes, they will break free, wander the store, and threaten whoever they please with their secret weapons. It's perfect! My plan is perfect! Mwahahaha!" Pickle Rick didn't do anything about that because he thought it was some kind of big joke. As he and the others later found out, that wasn't the case at all. But that took time because he completely forgot about it by the time the hamsters started singing. In fact, he would only figure it out after all 333 ways were done in a single day at the same exact Walmart. *Carlos*

"18. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department." "Hehehe, I'm so excited for this! Let's go go go! I'm going to go the frozen section to do this!" He goes to that section and literally pays no attention to the argument he helped make worse earlier that's still continuing on. Karen and Kevin don't even notice him. In fact, no one really does at first. His first targets are a middle aged couple who look like smug rich people. He puts on a new thief job outfit that he requested to be made sometime ago. It has the power to allow the wearer to blend into any setting. He puts it on and remembers what Swiftdrawer told him about social distancing when people still gave a damn about Covid. He follows the couple around as they looked through the frozen aisle. "Hey honey, why are we here again? Frozen food is so beneath us. Who needs that when you can get an exquisite meal at one of the most popping real restaurants in the land?" "I get it but I just want to try this food that all these plebeians have to rely on. After all, there's gotta be some way these useless wastes of space can still have a good meal with all that we have helped do against them. As major shareholders in Walmart, we have replaced 2 members of the UN from when it was still a meeting of the countries that used to exist. That and I hear frozen food has a rustic taste that is found to be quite charming. If we buy all the frozen food here, those useless people will have far less to eat. That's great for us, we need to exploit the excess population who don't deserve anything and make them suffer." "Haha, that's right! Genius, my dear! Do you want to try those frozen cakes that our friends keep making fun of first?" "That would be lovely. Also, I think someone's following us. I get this strange feeling." "*looks behind* I don't see anyone. It must be your paranoia again. Ever since we fully committed to stopping woke ideology, you've been much more paranoid." "Sorry about that. It's just so scary to think that those Zoomers have been so rebellious. I hate it when people refuse to obey everything people like us want. That's why we've done what we've done about them."

They continue to happily chat among themselves with the lingering feeling that someone is following them around at a close distance. Carlos almost gets spotted multiple times but he moves away in time before going back to trailing the rather slow rich couple from 5 feet behind them. There were even multiple instances of people nearly running into Carlos but he kept getting away in time. In fact, by the time the couple left the frozen section with a cart full of frozen food, it was time for Carlos to help in the toy section but before he did, the couple had just gone into an aisle that was completely TP'd. "Oh dear! What happened here? We can't access anything here because some worthless brat TP'd the whole aisle! Let's just leave and get ready to checkout!" The couple start paying people through bribes to be more quickly let through the swarm of people that's in their way to getting to the cash registers. However, they would soon vanish, never to be seen again as nothing but guts spilled on the ground. That's because Carlos sneaked up on them and teleported them to right by the dumpster where a body was disposed of already. Without saying anything, Carlos got to work, using his dagger to chop them up into pieces with the cart of frozen food still in the store. And then he teleported the chopped up body parts where those two were. With a reusable tissue in his ender pouch, he wiped the blood off of himself and his dagger before teleporting to the toy section.

*Pirate Blaster* "27. Open up random packages in the toy aisle then walk off. If an employee asks what you're doing, just say 'I changed my mind.'" "Arr. This one's going to be fun. Thrashbeak, why don't you fly on top of a shelf in this here toy section? Then, you can watch me and if someone tries to kill me, you can get them instead." "Squawk! Thrashbeak will! Thrashbeak will! Squawk!" Pirate Blaster then starts randomly grabbing a bunch of different toys, not caring in the world. "This one, this one, that one over there. This one in front of me. Who am I kidding? I need more!" He gets even more packages until he's satisfied. And then he starts opening them up. "What even is this? A singing pony? I have the strangest feeling that I shouldn't touch THAT button on them." He keeps doing that until he just stops out of nowhere and walks away. Thrashbeak stays up high, looking for a moment he might need to strike with his little sword. An employee who apparently was running around frantically after starting their shift 5 minutes prior stops running, having seen what Blaster just did: "What are you doing opening up toy packages?" "I changed my mind." Pirate Blaster continues walking off. "Hey, you opened them so you have to pay for them! It's store policy!" "Arr! Don't care. I told you I changed my mind. Besides, Walmart won't lose anything from a few items being opened but unbought." "No! It will! I'm so fired if I don't get you to cooperate! That's it, if you won't listen to reason, I reveal my true job here! I'm a security police guard officer! And I order you to pay up and go to jail!" The employee pulls out a machine gun and trains it on the pirate. But then, Thrashbeak swoops down and stabs the employee lightly while tackling them. The employee drops the machine gun and falls to the ground while bleeding before Blaster knocks em unconscious and turns them into a card that he just leaves there on the ground. Pirate Blaster takes the machine gun and puts it in his ender pouch for safe keeping. He waits around for Swiftdrawer and the others to show up to the toy section for the singing hamster thing.

*Fluffy Afro* "30. If an employee comes within 30 ft scream 'GET AWAY FROM ME!!!' Then run out of the store screaming." "This is going to be a lot of fun! I hope I can make a big scene out of this! I better hurry though as Swiftdrawer is going to start screaming very soon!" Fluffy finds a good place to stand around in, the clothing section. He pretends to look confused while watching for an employee to come close enough to him. It doesn't take very long as there are suddenly a whole new batch of employees coming into the store to help maintain order in the midst of all of the chaos that's drowned out by the sounds of hundreds of conversations throughout the store. When an employee got close enough, Fluffy Afro let out a deep breath before screaming: "GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" Before the employee could even react, Fluffy was already running while screaming and dodging everyone in his way. He zoomed through the exit doors as he kept on screaming. But Swiftdrawer's Batman screaming got a lot more attention. When Fluffy was out of the store, he teleported to the small book section and looked at the books until it was time to help with the hamsters.

*Dominic* Dominic goes to another dimension briefly to find a pit bull. More specifically, the universe of the movie Hotel For Dogs because he found out there's a pit bull that's been not trained at all and is staying at the main setting of the film. He takes them for a while due to: "38. Bring your pet pit-bull into Wal-mart. Act casual. If someone is brave enough to walk up to you and tell you to get out, simply reply 'He's going to help me pick out his favorite dog food.'" The scientist teleports with the dog to the entrance of Walmart while wearing a new outfit disguise. But before he takes another step, he uses a Mood Stabilizer device so the pit bull doesn't try to tear him to shreds. With the pit bull no longer ready to bite into someone with full force, he walks into the store with the dog not on a leash. Instead, Dominic is secretly getting the pit bull to follow him using a special dog treat he randomly found while in that universe. The scientist is so chill that acting casual is nothing to him. He just goes in like it's a normal day at Walmart despite the ongoing store wide chaos and attempts to clean up the TP'd parts of the store and other more gruesome messes. Since the pit bull is following right behind him, it isn't that hard to maneuver around the crowds in the store. But then, a security guard who just clocked in approaches him. Before that, no one had the guts to approach him as they were deathly afraid of the pit bull and a strange sense they got around Dominic but just couldn't scratch their heads around. The strange sense was actually the energy Dominic possesses due to his job/class being Entropy. The energy needed to alter reality. "Sir, pets aren't allowed in here. Get out." "He's going to help me pick out his favorite dog food." "I don't care! A good pet owner should know what their pet's favorite food is! Get out." "Make me." The security guard attempts to manhandle Dominic as the scientist returns the dog to their home universe without the guard knowing what he did. And then, Dominic easily dodges especially as people around them move back as they don't want to get caught up in the confrontation.

"What did you do to that dog? Where's the pit bull? I'm still removing you from these premises by force. And when all's said and done, you will be in jail for disobeying one of the rules for Walmart shopping!" "I don't have to tell you anything. That'd be a nap causation. You won't be able to remove me on your own. People around us, nothing to see here. Go back to your generic shopping experience. After all, what happens to me doesn't affect you so stop making such a big deal out of it. It's a real nap causation and migraine causer." "Why you little annoyance! Fine! If that's how you want to be.. *pulls out gun* I'll make you let me escort you out of this store and into a waiting police van!" Dominic uses his powers to dematerialize the gun before recreating it to be in his hands and putting it away. "Your weapons stand no chance against me. I'm a scientist from another world. I know all about how people like you work. Forget being chill for a minute. I'm going to warp reality to reveal to me your past actions and willing or unwillingness to change." He hacks into reality and uses that to peer into the memories of the security guard in a split second. Once done, Dominic teleports himself and the guard to the roof of the Walmart. "This is where you die, security guard. You used to be a hardcore military man who killed a lot of innocent people and a cop who shot a lot of innocent people. It seems that police forces have decreased as of late here, leading you to becoming a security guard." "How'd you?! Those are my deepest secrets! That's it! I don't care! You'll die, strange m-" The security guard screams as Dominic dematerializes them for good. "That's that. What a nap causation. Time to go to the toy section to help Swiftdrawer."

*Austin* "50. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners" "Gotta rock n roll all night! Ooooo! This is going to be good! To the auto section!" At one end of the store is the untouched by chaos auto section. It's so clean that it's literally sparkling and Austin has a fit of laughter as some classical music that you'd hear in a scene with cleaning and beauty or something plays as he sees how clean the auto section is for some reason. Or maybe that's just because most other sections have descended into chaos at one point or another. Anyway, he walks in and does in fact sample all of the spray air fresheners. "I hear this is the best place to find high quality air fresheners in case I stink up the bathroom or something! Oh wait, that's something that Swiftdrawer or Fluffy is more likely to do! *grabs one* Pineapple. I wonder how many people they hurt to make this thing. *sprays* That smell is nice! Not as nice as 69 though! I wonder if any of these sprays are better or nicer than 69! I also wonder if there are 69 types of air fresheners here! I'd buy all 69 of them if Walmart didn't suck so much!" "Oh what's this one? Apple huh? BIM better not be here too! We don't need them to ruin our fun! *sprays* I like!" He literally just drops all of the air fresheners he tries and grabs another to sample. "Grape? Great! Bleh! It's horrible!" "Normal? Bleeeeeeh! It smells like oil and sewage!" "Christianity? That's a spray flavor? It smells like fire! Fluffy would hate it!" "Walmart? As Adam would say, what a nice self insert that's completely unnecessary. This smells like an extreme version of the smell of this store that's so strong that it's like a whole other scent! Blaze better not come here, same with Dr. Bonesbane! I'm going to make this section reek of air fresheners!" "Loneliness? Well, I am the only one in this section. It's perfect! And.. it smells like disappointment! I can't describe it any other way!" "Jungle? I like this one." "Strawberry cheesecake? Too sweet! Too sweet! Aaaaaaaaaa!" "Dirt? I guess some humans like their cars being metaphors for dirt too much. Ooooo, that's awful! Yuuuuuuuck!" "Bug spray? What's the point of this? Ewww! It smells like rotting bugs hidden under the smell of actual bug spray! Not cool!"

He keeps speed running through them until he reaches the last one: "This one is called Traditional Marriage? Someone is really bad with branding and originality. Let's try try try it! Gotta rock n roll all night! Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! Why would they mix THESE smells together much less put them inside an air freshener spray? This is the last one. Ha, I counted them all. This is the 69th. 69, nice! And now this entire section smells awful and too strong! Gotta go! To the toy section to help with the singing hamsters concert! Too bad I don't get to perform too!" Thanks to Austin, no one would dare go through the auto section the rest of the day. It simply smelled too bad and strongly for anyone to have the nerve to stomach all of those smells fused together.

*Blaze* "59. Go to the bathroom with a cantaloupe (hidden) Make grunting noises and drop the cantaloupe in the toilet. Then say 'Phew, That's better'" "Good thing I don't actually have to take a dump! *barks excitedly while wagging tail* Awooo, this is going to be hilarious!" Blaze quickly goes to the produce section which is next to the frozen section so they get to enjoy a little bit of Karen and Kevin's non stop arguing. They use their nose to search for the cantaloupes because they forgot what they looked like. At least Blaze still remembers what they smell like and won't be going through the auto section anytime soon. That would be very bad news if they did in fact do so. They take a cantaloupe and to anyone watching, quickly disappear into the crowd. What no one knew was that the chaos storewide was so bad that the people working in the security/intercom room had to leave it to help try to restore the order that's been replaced by that chaos. But since most customers act like NPCs, the chaos wasn't as widespread as it could be. The wolf furry stuffs the cantaloupe in their ender pouch as they make their way to the bathroom. Once there, they open the door and find an unoccupied toilet stall, lock the stall door behind them and start making grunting noises after about 20 seconds with the cantaloupe in their paws. "*grunts* It hurts! It hurts! Aaaaaa! But it feels so good! Yes, poop, be released from my buttocks! *grunts* How has there only been so little poop coming out so far! It hurts and burns too much for just a small amount to come out! Come on! *grunts* Gotta push! Push! I can defeat this need to release it all! *grunts* *grunts* Crap, I think it's finally all coming out at once! All this poop, this stinky and smelly body waste produced in one of the intestines! *grunts*" Blaze drops the cantaloupe on the toilet and nobody yells at them. That's because they all know the pain of a intense number 2 session. That's a pain they all know and through that pain, they can learn to better understand each other. The wolf furry then flushes the toilet, pretends to wipe themselves, and exits to wash their hands before heading to the toy section. Later, a janitor would scream into the Aether about a cantaloupe clogging the toilet with its price sticker still stuck on it.

*Bray* "71. Dress up as a giant smiley face and whip price signs! Then yell 'ROLLBACK!!!'" "I shall do my best to fulfill this task as it says to. I believe I must beat some price signs so that is what I shall do. This shall be a hilarious moment from which I may find myself in conflict with security guards and others." She casts a spell to change her disguise into that of a giant mascot style smiley face. The Great Sage uses her powers to bring a bunch of price signs to her which she carries around with her as she heads to right by the food court of the store, one of the places Swiftdrawer would end up not running around near. As a result, she gets a lot of eyes on her. And then, she drops the price signs. When she does, she immediately starts to beat them up as if she were in some kind of Walmart commercial. After doing this for several minutes, she stops and yells: "ROLLBACK!!!" Because of woke being used as a boogeyman, people don't get mad at her. Instead, they laugh as if laughter is what they need to mentally escape from the woke stuff that they've been tricked into thinking is dangerous and horrifying by those in power. But another newly clocked in security guard comes in with a death glare at Bray: "I don't know who you are but cosplay of a mascot is no less illegal than any other cosplay. You somehow took price signs from all over the store and then beat them. That's another reason why you're going to prison soon once I escort you out of the store!" They try to manhandle her only to find her gone. They turn around and spot her having moved away fast. "Hey! Stay still and learn your place! I'm higher up than you are in the Walmart employee hierarchy! You should know that! Everyone here knows it." "I'm just a rouge smiley face. I shall take my leave regardless of what you say or do." "I have a feeling others have or will do the same as me in this store but.. *pulls out gun" You're time is over! Cooperate or else I will have to use force!" "For cosplaying and beating up price signs, you'd draw a gun on someone else? I shall not allow this."

At that moment, Bray teleports herself and the security guard to the roof where Dominic has just dematerialized another security guard. She spots the scientist teleport away and then reveals her face to the one she's dealing with: "I shall now remove you from this world. I can see into your past. I see all the harm you have caused. You killed families without hesitation and have made no effort to change to be better. In fact, you refuse to change to the point I cannot reason with you. Therefore, I shall end your life for that is the only option left for stopping you. Your demise will be painful but quick, the only mercy any of us shall offer to someone like you. Tower of Flame!" The security guard is burned with a lot of fire magic to a crisp in seconds. Bray heads for the toy section immediately after that.

*Dr. Bonesbane* "121. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of your friend." "I was supposed to do this with Blaze but I think they forgot and just moved onto the bathroom cantaloupe one. That's fine. Scar Basiltomato has basically nothing to do so I'll just find em and see if they can help me with this one." He heads to the party section first to find some silly string. But then, Scar Basiltomato sprays him with silly string: "What in quantum physics?! Scar! What?!" "Hey, Bonesbane. I figured out with grease that I have accidentally left behind me as I've gone throughout the store that Blaze forgot to help you with this one. Good for me because I literally have nothing to do besides watch all of you pull this crap. So instead, I challenge you to a silly string fight. *tosses him some silly string* It's amazing how much silly string is in these jumbo sized cans!" "Yes, you're correct. By my calculations, there is more than enough for each of us to spray silly string on each other until we have to help Adam. I will hide behind customers and supposedly accidentally hit them instead of you. You just go wild whenever you get a clear shot of me but know that just because I'm a scientist doesn't mean I will go easy on you or find myself unable to enjoy this activity." "Okay!" They spray each other right away before continuing to go at each other with the silly string. The party section is crowded so it takes serious skills to get each other. But when Bonesbane hides behind some people looking at plates and napkins, things get more difficult and complicated than before. He starts spraying like crazy and whenever he hits someone, he makes it look like an accident. "Hey! Why'd you do that? Now my hair is ruined for tonight!" "I'm sorry. I apologize. That wasn't what I intended on doing." "Okay, I could use a trip to the hair salon anyway." "Hey! Not again!" "I'm so sorry!" "It better not happen again!" "Bonesbane, I'm going to get you! Stop hiding!" "No way. I'm going to stay right here until you fall into a pile of silly string that even the two of us would struggle to get out of. Take this!"

Scar prefers to move out and about during something like this. That's what happens and that makes it easier for Bonesbane to "accidentally" hit people with the silly string. The two end up using all of their silly string up really fast. During that time, Bonesbane "accidentally" hit people a lot more. "Watch it!" "Hey, what's your problem! I'm just trying to find the Walmart's Dark Chocolate so I can acquire more of it to hand out to kids!" "Play somewhere else!" Eventually, so many people are pissed off that Dr. Bonesbane and Scar Basiltomato get cornered with no way out after they run out of silly string. Some tough macho guy flexes his muscles in rage while shamelessly eating all of the silly string on him like it was nothing: "So it was you two that have caused us all of this trouble. I see now. I'll kill the both of you in front of all these people today for ruining our shopping experiences by annoying us!" Dr. Bonesbane removes his lab gloves which are disguised as fingerless biker gloves. He gets into a fighting stance: "Scar, leave this guy to me. Get out of here. This angry mob won't be able to find you." "What about you?" "Have we not fought by each other back you know where? I'm more than just a scientist. I promise." "Okay, I'll go where we all need to go now. Stay safe!" "That won't be an issue. *turns back towards the macho man* Are we not allowed to have some fun? Is that it? Well, in that case. Since you've chosen to try to beat me down, I'll show you what a really tough guy can do. Few know of this side of me. Let me show you what scientific knowledge combined with fighting spirit, confidence, and more can do!" The scientist gestures the macho man to come at him with all he's got. Bonesbane has a confident smile on his face: "I don't need my inventions or any power ups to beat you. Just my muscles will be enough power in quantity to do so." He effortlessly dodges or blocks all of the macho man's blows before retaliating with a flurry of precise kicks and punches. This sends the man flying, knocking him out. Bonesbane then heads to the toy section.

*Banana Pants* The vampire also goes to the Halloween section after hearing a rumor. "131. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized." "Rumor is that there's a little blinking light as part of a costume on display that no one wants to buy! I hope it's true because I can't wait to get mesmerized! And I won't even have to do it for hours. I can get myself mesmerized in not even a minute!" He sees 2 others there but doesn't pay enough attention to figure out which of his friends they are. Instead, he searches for and quickly finds the little blinking light on a costume that no one wants. Naturally, it's a Spider-Man costume because that's too woke apparently. The light is coming from one of Spider-Man's eyes. Banana Pants gets as close as he can get to it and just stares point blank at the little blinking light. After just 45 seconds, he can't look away and is completely transfixed. That's despite the fact the light only goes off once every 5 seconds. So when it does again after 50 seconds since he started looking at it, he can't help but say: "Blink." 5 seconds later: "Blink." 5 more seconds later: "Blink." This continues for several minutes during which people tried to get him to stop and move out of the way or even just get out of the store. "Sir, stop staring at that. Being mesmerized by lights is a misdemeanor offense but one you should take seriously." "Blink." "Hey, get out of the way! I wanna see that costume." "Blink." "This is a security guard, stop looking at that unless you want to go to prison!" "Blink." "That's it, a police van will soon be on its way once I drag you out of here since you won't move or listen to me!" But that threat never came true. Instead, some people would later claim there was some kind of loud sound and the smell of death in the Halloween section. Banana Pant's powers activated on their own, snapping the bones of the security guard, killing them instantly. The only reason Banana Pants ever stopped looking at the little blinking light was because someone called him to get his butt to the toy section. As he left the light behind, he promised it he would be back to stare at it as soon as he could. Now he's obsessed with it. Yay.

*Banana Rick Not An Alien* "132. Light a match under a sprinkler." "Sounds pointless! I'll just keep doing it over and over until I go help Swiftdrawer with the singing hamsters! Hehehe, this is going to be so frustrating!" Banana Rick moves throughout the store quickly. As she does so, she picks up a box of matches in the blink of an eye. Once she finds the sprinklers, she turns one on with telekinesis. With it on, Banana Rick Not An Alien bends down and gets out a match from the box. And then, she holds the match and box of matches under the sprinkler while trying to light the match using the surface on the box designed for such a task. But of course, it only works for a brief second before the sprinkler puts it out. Instead of complaining, Banana Rick Not An Alien gets into the same mindset as Swiftdrawer sometimes does when doing something repetitive over and over again. A almost kinda cuckoo persistence. Over and over again, she just keeps lighting the match under the sprinkler. It goes in for long enough to where she doesn't notice an employee turn off the sprinkler and yell at her. When she notices that the match is actually lit, she gets startled and drops it onto the display the sprinkler is on with fake grass and everything. This is the moment Banana Rick accidentally committed arson. "Stop ignoring me! You're wasting matches and water and electricity! Know your place! Don't take stuff from around the show to mess with them without even paying for them. ..What's that burning smell! Oh no! The display! It's on fi-" The emergency sprinkler system for the section they're in goes off and drenches them with water, putting out the fire and making the whole box of matches completely soggy. "Aaaaa! So much water! Can't.. speak.. any longer!" "Hehehehe!" After a minute, the sprinklers turn off and Banana Rick Not An Alien uses one of her powers to immediately dry herself off by transferring the water to another place, the employee who's been yelling at her. Now the employee is so wet that they fall from the added weight by the water and lose consciousness. Banana Rick goes to the toy section immediately thereafter like nothing happened at all.

*Madeline* "147. Go up to an assistant and ask for mayonnaise. When they say they don't have it, start crying and scream, 'Now how am I supposed to paint my toenails?!?'" "I must find an assistant immediately. If I don't hurry, I'll miss out on hearing more chaos being generated!" She walks to the food section of more specifically, the aisle that has dressings, condiments, and so on. Luckily, there's an assistant who is randomly not where they're supposed to be normally. Madeline goes up to them and asks: "Hey, do you have mayonnaise?" "I'm sorry but we don't carry it at this store at this time. I repeat, we don't have if." The cleric starts crying and screams: "Now how am I supposed to paint my toenails?!?" "You're toenails? Why would you paint your toenails with mayonnaise?" "It's a family thing! We've done it for decades and without mayonnaise, how am I supposed to do it? It's just not fair!" "What's wrong with you?! Just use nail polish! It's better and won't come off in the shower! Mayonnaise comes off easily in the shower!" "That's why I don't shower!. "Excuse me?! No! Get away from me, get out of this store! If you don't shower at least once a day, you are not allowed to be in any Walmart store! That's the rules! Now seriously, GET OUT!" "WHY YOU! DON'T TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IM SUPPOSED TO DO! YOU LISTEN TO ME, GIVE ME SOME DAMN MAYONNAISE IF YOU'RE LYING ABOUT IT AND STOP JUDGING ME OR ELSE!" "OR ELSE WHAT?" "I'LL SHOW YOU!" Madeline goes into Berserk Mode but has full control over herself. That's how it is. She can control her actions but her anger, not so much. That being said, she still lifts up a shelf full of packaged breads. And when she does so, she slams it onto the ground, breaking it. This enrages the assistant only for Madeline to teleport away and watch other chaos unfold. She calms down due to this and goes to the toy section when she needs to in order to help Swiftdrawer with the singing hamster dolls which would all be soon destroyed, smashed into pieces or burnt or disintegrated.

*Minglow Bats* "161. Get a mirror and put it on top of a cart so it lay across it. Get on top and have someone push you down an isle, and Sing 'Surfin' USA'" "I grow impatient already. I will simply create a clone of myself since one of my former students isn't around here to help me and is instead dressed up as the Batman person. I cast Mana Clone! *creates a clone of himself when he goes to an aisle near the frozen section* Now to make this better. Change Clone Outfit. There. Now my clone looks like my twin instead of my clone. I don't know what this Surfin' USA song is about. Clone, while I get a mirror and cart, you stay here and read this item on my list." Minglow Bats goes to get a cart and a mirror which he does easily with magic even though magic can't fix everything. He returns to his clone who hands him the list back and gets ready to do his part of the item on the list. "I can't keep you around for long. Clones take a lot of mana to maintain after the first 3 minutes." Minglow Bats puts the mirror on top of the cart and uses a levitation spell to get on top of the mirror. The potion brewing teacher directs his clone to push him down the aisle they're currently in. The clone does so without difficulty. There are many people in the aisle who just gawk as Minglow Bats sings loudly in his monotone voice: "Surfing' USA. I don't know this song or it's lyrics or it's melody. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. I thought this would be a good idea. I love singing and I never get to do it. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. Why didn't Adam have me listen to the song? Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. Whoever is behind this song should get a lecture for spreading messages about surfing that imply the USA is a great country. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. Is this close to how the song goes? Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. I'd have to assume that the song is full of mentions to the sun, beach, surfing, USA, and having fun. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. I'm 'surfing' on a mirror on a cart in a supermarket called Walmart that I've never been to before. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA. Surfing' USA." He stops singing right as they reach the end of the aisle they're in.

Minglow Bats mostly got bewildered looks, a few amused looks, and some angry looks. But he paid them no mind. He abandoned the cart and mirror by jumping off them and walking away to the toy section with his clone which he then dismissed once he got there to help with the hamster dolls.

*Hamaduh Riley* "205. Chew gum loudly in people's faces." "Aww man! I wish my brother and partner in mischief and I did this back when we attended the Lost Academia! Oh well! I'm going to chew so much gum! Just you wait, boring Walmart!" Hamaduh heads to the candy section and quickly finds what he's looking for. A whole lot of gum. In fact, he whispers a spell to himself: "I cast Big Mouth." He then grabs as many packs of gum as he can carry even though he's doomed to drop it all if he isn't careful. Even so, he takes things slowly and carefully for once and doesn't drop any as he finds a place to sit down so he can set all of the packs down. Just as Swiftdrawer starts screaming while in a Batman costume, Hamaduh uses magic to open all of the packs of gum he's taken from the candy section. All he has to do now is unwrap each individual piece of gum and plop them in his mouth. He does so in under a minute and turns all of the packaging trash from the gum into a wad he puts in his very own ender pouch. With all the gum in his mouth, he walks to a crowd nearby and starts chewing loudly. He looks ridiculous. His mouth is cartoonishly big at the moment and is off proportion compared to the rest of his head. Obviously, all things considered. He just decides to stand there and chew as loudly and obnoxiously as possible. When someone tries to touch him, his magical forcefield gives them confusion and makes them act really dumb for 5 minutes. And he doesn't listen to anyone's angry words. "Stop chewing so loudly! It's annoying! Go somewhere else, you loser!" "Stoooop! You're irritating me!" "You brat better have health insurance! I'm going to beat the crap out of you for your nonstop chewing." "Hey gumhead, go home and chew all you want there, you freak!" "How is your mouth so big and why are you chewing so loudly? Enjoy gum like this where nowhere can hear you, you pig!" He just laughs on the inside as he savors the now fading flavors of the gum. He's about ready to spit it all out somewhere randomly once all the flavor is gone. He just keeps getting more comments especially as he starts walking around the store while chewing so loudly. It's nonstop. His chewing. Endless.

His teeth must be very strong because chewing so much gum can't be chewed all at once even with the Big Mouth spell in effect. When he's made one loop around the store and upset a lot of people, he gets confronted by an angry mob who yell at him so many different things that it was impossible to make out what any of them were saying. But instead of worrying that his barrier wouldn't work, he just gets them to chase him, only for them to crash into other people or get trapped by a huge wad of gum he just spat out. It's so sticky. Normal gum piles are hard enough to clean up. But this wad is the Godzilla of all gum wads. That means that the entire mob stops due to it. Those who didn't get stuck gave up on trying to get back at him for his irritating chewing noises. Hamaduh leaves all of them behind in favor of the toy section for obvious reasons.

*Mel* The knight goes to the botanical section. "227. Pull down your pants next to a flower display and pretend to 'water' the flowers." "I'm so glad Swiftdrawer had this one altered. I do not want to harm the flowers." She finds a flower display almost as she as she gets to the section. Once there, using the power of the magical disguise, she pretends to pull her pants down which don't actually exist. It would have been so much trouble to get her armor leggings off for the effect with the illusion. So now, it looks like her buttocks is exposed when in reality, it isn't. Don't think anything of it if you're a pervert. Anyway, she squats down a little and pretends to water the flowers for several minutes. "*whistling* Little flowers, it's time to water you. You will grow up to be as strong as any knight is. You will drinking this gift from me to you and use it to not just grow strong but to also asexually reproduce. Flowers, I believe in you." Some people look at her weird. Some parents cover their kids eyes, some individuals yell, and a security guard tries to stop her. "Stop watering the flowers that way! You'll kill them!" "Yeah! That's dangerous for em! I called security, you ain't going to last much longer here! That I made sure of! Oh, there's the guard! Yay!" She drops her act at that moment and pretends to pull her nonexistent pants back up(because what's really there are fully encasing armor leggings). The guard doesn't even get a chance to say anything to her themselves. Mel just knocks them out with a sword bash disguised as a punch. She then walks off to the toy section. After the singing hamsters were all destroyed, everyone gets out their lists, ready for whatever was next to do on theirs. Find out what transpires next in the next chapter.

Outro: And that's a wrap on all story chapters for this a month, April 2023. I hope you liked this chapter. I'm not too concerned about making every section well detailed. I just write what I think must be written for each thing the characters do. It's for the best. Besides, like I've probably said before. It gives me something easy to write. That and I'm in general putting more work into each way to get kicked out than most people have from what I've seen from other stories where the goal is to do all 333 ways to get kicked out of Walmart if possible. With that said, I hope you know just how much danger people like me are in. And many still are in greater danger than I am. Much greater even. Fascism is actively trying to take over the entire world and we can't let the fascists win. If they make peaceful protest impossible, violence is inevitable. Remember that. I can't remember who went down as saying something like that. Was it MLK Jr? No, it might have been Malcom X but I can't be sure. My point still stands. If you want this world to be better, oppose fascism, Tories, Republicans, Nazis, white supremacists, Walmart, Amazon, Melon Husk, and more. Even if it means you have to give your life in the struggle someday. But if you're willing to give your life for a truly better future and world, don't let yourself die quietly or without meaning. Be prepared. Do as much as you can bring yourself to to change this world before you die. But don't do absolutely nothing if that's as much as you want to do. Push yourself to try harder in that case. The same should be said for everyone who actually gives a damn about freedom, equality, equity, and so on. That's my goal. That's why this story isn't pure comedy. If you can peacefully cause change, do that first and foremost. If you're in an active shooter situation, run away or hide. Don't try to fight unless you have good protection and are well prepared for trying to stop the shooter. I suggest you work towards getting their weapon(s) out of their hands. If you have to fight, prioritize doing it in self defense of yourself and others. The left can only win with popular enough support, a peaceful movement alongside a more violent and disruptive movement. Learn from the past. Become woke. Stay woke. Thanks for reading this.