I Am Either Nexus… or Against Him?

Ah, so sorry for the long wait in-between days; I have two major tests coming up, so I have been studying non-stop.
Major dialogue in this chapter, but do enjoy!

Chapter Four: What Do I Do?

Clarissa and I had spent an hour or so just going through dance routines to all of the different songs she knew. If I didn't know better I would have thought that Riss was a professional but I knew too much of her to know that she has been self teaching herself for a long time; still how quickly she catches onto these moves and she fast she is in learning astounds me.

We took a slight break not too long after the first few sets, just to catch our breath and sit for a moment. I was grateful for this; I was starting to become a bit dizzy from all of the constant moving.

"Hey is everything alright Rina?"

I hadn't mentioned how I felt about Stu's attitude after we made love last night. How was I supposed to tell my best friend that I thought my fiancé was using me?

"Uh... yeah everything is great, that routine just tired me out that's all." I am tired but at the same time I slept well last night.

"You look a little uncomfortable, you sure everything is okay?" Clarissa was in the middle of tying her hair up when she asked. She seems as happy and jittery as always, I really don't want to do or say anything that is going to change her mood.

"I'm sure, it was just a..." I couldn't help but to be hesitant. "It was a long night." I shrug, grabbing my bottled water off of the floor.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to ask you!" Clarissa exclaims while grabbing her bottle of iced tea out of her bag. "How did things with Stu blow over?" she asks, after taking a sip.

"Things went..." Dammit! I can totally cross actress off of my list of to-be's when I leave WWE... "Smoothly." I shrug my shoulders, arching my brows indecisively.

Her expression shifts as mine did. "What happened?" she asks as she places her hands to her hips. She arches an eyebrow toward me, if I make it this easy, she must be so good at reading Teddy.

"Nothing..." I reply lightly. "We just had..." Oh Lord, am I going to hear it in about ten seconds. I was starting to feel that voice in my head criticize me the way it was last night, you know, the one everyone sort of pushes to the back of their minds when they are usually doing something that they should not.

Clarissa's eyes widen in surprise. "You two had..." she didn't like to use 'bad language', sometimes it made me wonder if she really wasn't a fourteen year old stuck in the body of a twenty-six year old women. "…Relations?" she whispers.

I sigh, feeling that giant weight on my shoulders, the one full of guilt; that feeling makes my stomach turn. "If by relations, you mean 'made love' then yes, Stu and I had relations last night"

"But I thought you two were arguing again...?" Clarissa stares with this expression on her face as if she were momentarily confused. I can't say I blame her, since I kind of am, myself.

I lean my back against the mirrors, running my hands through my brown hair. "Yeah, me too; I don't know what happened, one moment we were getting into each other's faces and then the next thing I knew we were all over each other,"

Clarissa sat with me, scrunching her knees to her chest. "Hmm..." she thought, tapping her foot impatiently on the floor, her pink bangs falling her over eyes, "It seems a bit... fishy to me." She comments.

"What do you mean?" I ask, turning my attention toward her. "You said it could have been a phase,"

"I mean that his demeanor changed a little too fast for my liking," she sighed, "What did he say to you before you, well, you know?"

"'I am not going to stand here and play a bloody game of fifty questions,'" I reply, starting to catch her drift. Instantaneously my hands met my face. "Oh God, Ris, you're right!" I groan. "Ugh, how could I have been so stupid?"

"Oh Katarina, you aren't stupid." Her arms wrapped around my shoulders, "Stop talking like that." She leans her head lightly on mine.

"What do I do, Riss?" I ask, now sobbing into her arms. I cannot believe I let this happen, what the hell is wrong with me? How can I allow my self esteem to drop so low?

"I don't know..." She ran her fingers through my hair, "I don't like seeing you like this, you deserve so much better." Clarissa lightly passes her manicured purple tips through my hair.

"But Riss, I love him, I've spent four years with him..." Gosh, I feel like such an idiot for thinking he was being truthful last night. "I can't leave him."

Clarissa pulls apart from me, her eyes full of sorrow but I knew the words that were about to come out were full of honesty. "Never say that you can't do something, I know that it might be hard..." she hesitates, acknowledging the hurt in my expression. "But you have Teddy and I here for support."

"What am I supposed to tell him, Ris? I told him last night that I wanted to spend more time with him."

"Well, to be honest, you two seem to need the separation, sometimes it helps," Riss replies, she moves her bangs out of the way again. "Maybe you leaving will make him realize that he wants the same exact thing; sometimes these boys need to learn things the hard way."

"I don't know," I sob, now leaning against the wall. "Where am I supposed to go? We're airing live from his hometown next week, he wanted me to see his hometown, and I do want to go, England must be so beautiful this time of year,"

"Well," a small smile graces her features, "There is a certain pink haired girl whose boyfriend will gladly room with John for the week."

It was then that I realized that she was right, Stu and I do need our space; I need time to breathe and get my head straight again and hopefully while that's going on, he gets his act together, recollects himself and all. Maybe with him going back home, it will help put himself back together.

At least, that is what I am aiming for.

Major thank you to XxDiBiase-LoverxX, Cristi, for the help with putting this chapter together!
We did our own personal collaboration and it worked out quite well, if I do say so myself.

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Stay well!
Shelly xoxox