Authors Note: I was going to update sooner, but I had a friend over one night, and then another friend over right after that. So I was busy, busy, busy. I hope I am forgiven . . .
Just kidding. You don't have a choice regardless. ;)
Uhm, so yeah. Thanks for the reviews. Reviews in general are super-fantastic-awesome-amazing things. So yeah, thaaaaaanks!
Chapter Three:
Forget
"This is bullshit!" I exploded once we were safely out on the sidewalk, and the faded brown door to the agency was closed tightly behind us. "Complete and utter fu-"
"Max!" Mom hissed sharply, shooting me a look.
I rolled my eyes, glaring right back. "Oh please. Cry me a river why don't you, and stop trying to tell me what to do." Okay, so maybe I was being unnecessarily harsh. My mood was the blackest hue of night, though. It was almost a tangible, roiling mass.
Because we weren't getting Angel and Gazzy back today. Maybe not ever.
"Max, don't talk to your mother that way," Aunt Valencia said tiredly, making her way to the car. Her eyes stayed downcast as she unlocked the door, prepared to slide in. My quick remark stopped her, though.
"Why?" I demanded frostily, not in the state of mind to think rationally and just bite my tongue and move on. "Because she deserves any better? News flash, she doesn't. This is all her fault anyway!"
"Don't you think I know that?" Mom inquired quietly, looking lost and forlorn. "Don't you think I have to live with the guilt of that every day? Don't you think I know I deserve every bit of what I get? I'm trying to make things better, Max. You're the only one who's stopping that from happening."
I glowered murderously at her, my dark brown eyes narrowed to slits of cold iron. How dare she try to turn this on me. How dare she try to make it seem like I was the bad guy here, when all I had ever done was everything she hadn't.
"Sorry, but it doesn't work that way. Do you think I survived all these years by giving everyone who let me down a second chance? If I did that, I would dead. Do you understand? Dead. I've gone to such lengths that you would never imagine. Stop trying to guilt trip me, because it's not going to work. I don't pity you in the slightest. Karma's a bi-"
"ENOUGH!"
My eyes widened in surprise as I swiveled my head to face Aunt Valencia. There was a deadly sort of calmness about her that made me flush in embarrassment. Her eyes, which were quite similar to mine, were trained directly on me, as she curled her hands into fists so tight they turned her skin white.
"We know, Max. We know the hardships you've gone through. And if anyone deserves to be happy, it's you. I would give everything I have to change the past, but that's not possible. There's one thing I know for a fact though, and that's that we will never get through this if this family is divided any more than it already has been. You need to learn to forgive, sweetie- or else this is going nowhere." Aunt Val's voice was low and steady, as if the very tone she spoke in could lead me to the light. It was harder than that, though. So much harder.
"What . . . What if I can't?" I asked seriously, putting my head in my hands and wearily rubbing my eyes. She made it seem so simple, but saying my mother was forgiven and her actually being forgiven were two very different things.
"You have to try. We all have to try. We're going to learn a lot of lessons in the coming future, and we're going to be better off because of it. Believing in that will bring us all one step closer to closure."
Slowly I approached the car, tugging on the handle. With precise movements I lowered myself into the back seat, slamming the door shut behind me. Even though I knew they couldn't hear me, in a muffled voice I said: "Let's just go home."
The rest of the car ride was weighed down by a heavy silence, making the very air inside the vehicle difficult to breathe. This time, Aunt Val didn't try to make small talk. It seemed she had nothing else to say after her little speech. Instead we all stared out of our individual windows, lost in our own thoughts. I wondered briefly what Mom was thinking; if she agreed with Aunt Valencia. Then I reminded myself that I didn't care . . .
But was that really the truth anymore? I didn't know. I was quickly coming to learn that I didn't know anything anymore.
When we arrived back home I was the first one out of the car, with the other two lingering slowly behind me. I burst through the front door, anticipating an ambush. Just as I suspected, Ella and Nudge pounced as soon as I stepped foot into the little hallway leading to the rest of the house.
"What happened?" Ella demanded, eyes wide and fierce. Her jaw was set in anxious anticipation. She had never even met Angel and Gazzy, but you could tell how much she truly cared about them, just from what she had heard.
"What did they say? Is everything going to be okay? Are Angel and Gazzy coming back soon? I miss them so much. Please, tell us they're coming back. I couldn't bear it if they weren't. I-" Nudge rambled at lightening speed, her lips blurring as she spoke.
I opened my mouth to respond, shaking my head slightly. Then Aunt Val and Mom entered behind me, and I shoved roughly past the barricade the two teens had created in front of me. Let them explain. They could do it with less vulgar language than I would.
As I swept by I managed to catch a glimpse of the clock hanging on the wall. Quarter to six. Cursing slightly under my breath I hustled up the stairs, taking them two at a time. I really didn't want to meet Fang dressed like I was going to court. He would probably just laugh at me.
Practically flying into mine and Ella's shared room I shed my itching blouse and the torturous cotton skirt I had forced myself into. Rifling through a drawer I managed to find a clean pair of jeans, sliding my long, tanned legs into them with relief. Then I just tossed on a random t-shirt and donned my jacket. It was relatively warm outside now, but that didn't mean the temperature wouldn't drop with the coming night.
At last I slipped my feet into my ratty pair of tennis shoes, hopping on one foot to manage this feat as I tipped this way and that into the hallway. I almost crashed headfirst down the stairs, but I managed to catch ahold of the sturdy banister in the nick of time. Voices from the living room floated up to me, and I knew Aunt Val and Mom were taking turns explaining to the girls what had happened.
I didn't want to interrupt, but I was running short on time, and it would take me at least twenty minutes to walk to where I was meeting Fang. Taking a deep breath I poked my head into the room, my dark blond hair swinging like a curtain into my face.
"Can I borrow the-" I began, trying for sweetness, but probably failing miserably.
"Here," Aunt Val said, tossing the keys to me with a grin before I even finished. I flashed her a grateful smile, catching the ring around my pointer finger with ease. I gave them all a quick wave goodbye before heading out the door, the keys jingling in my hand.
Previously it would have been a major hazard for me to be out on the road, but I had somehow managed to pass my driving test. Not without a little help from Fang, but I had my license and that was all that mattered. And Aunt Val didn't mind lending out her car for my use from time to time, so it was a convenient thing to have.
Like now, for instance. I didn't have to walk everywhere, like I used to.
I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, glancing either direction. There were no cars in sight, so I carefully maneuvered the car around the corner. Just as I did so a figure came leaping from the alleyway, running straight into my path. The brakes squealed as I slammed my foot onto the pedal, fishtailing as I swerved to miss the obviously insane person.
Squinting through the windowshield I tried to see who it was, as my breathing evened out and my heart resumed its regular pattern, no longer pumping painfully in my chest. Whoever it was was already running away though, never so much as glancing over their shoulder. By their build I could tell it was a male; tall with broad shoulders. A flicker of familiarity rustled in my mind, at the honey blond hair now flipping this way and that as he sprinted away.
Dylan?
Shaking my head profusely I shifted the car back into gear, twisting the steering wheel so that the tires straightened out. Glancing in the rearview mirror as I pulled away, I could see the inky black skid marks I had left behind, a marker of this odd occurrence.
Odd being a major understatement.
I continued taking deep breaths, letting the incident slide away. Especially because I knew Fang could read me like an open book. He would automatically sense something was wrong, and I'm pretty sure showing up completely breathless and freaked would be a specific indicator towards that. Besides, I had enough to worry about, what with this new situation we were in concerning Angel and Gazzy.
At that moment I pulled up to the familiar curb, easing in behind Fang's onyx, obviously expensive, car. When I got out I examined the crumbling, not so foreign building before me. The place I had called home for much of my life.
And I know what you're thinking. Something along the lines of: 'Why are you meeting Fang here of all places? What's so special about it? Wouldn't it make more sense to, you know, stay away from all the bad memories it produced?'
Yes. It would. But the roof . . . well, the roof was a different story entirely.
I thought about the things Fang had told me there, as I climbed the fire escape to the top. He had shared his story, bared it all in front of me, despite the judgements I might have had. He had told me he 'liked' me. All of that had enough meaning for us to keep coming back.
"Hey there stranger," I said softly, as I caught sight of his black-clad back. He was standing, as usual, with his hands in his pockets, facing the opposite way. When he heard me speak though, he shifted around, a corner of his mouth quirking up at the sight of me.
He didn't speak as I approached, which was typical behavior for him. He just watched me with hooded, obsidian colored eyes; stripping me down to the core with just his strong, steady stare.
"And stranger isn't an exaggeration. You've been pretty busy lately." Bitterness flooded through me at the thought, though my tone stayed mercifully neutral. He had always been there for me in the past, but right now, when I needed him the most, he was never around. I didn't know why; didn't know if it was something I had done. All I knew was that he barely called or came around, and he acted suspiciously indifferent most of the time. His behavior was so . . . weird.
"I know," he said with a sigh, shifting his gaze to the horizon beside us, unable to meet my eyes. "I'm sorry about that."
I shrugged, trying not to frown. Maybe it wasn't his fault. Maybe he really was just wrapped up in something else, possibly having to do with his parents. It wouldn't come as a surprise to me. They'd do anything for him to spend less time with me. I wasn't exactly their first choice for their perfect little son's girlfriend. More like a last resort in their opinion.
Without hesitating Fang stepped forward, enveloping me in an embrace. His arms tightened around my shoulders, as my head rested in the crook of his neck. I relished in the warm, tingly feeling our proximity gave me. After all this time, he never failed to give me butterflies.
"So how'd it go today?" he murmured next to my ear, kissing my temple softly. His lips lingered there as my shoulders sagged with the memory. Guilt flourished within me, like a poison at the thought of our failure.
"Not good," I admitted, pressing closer to him. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, like that could keep out the pain of this cruel, harsh reality. A reality in which my siblings could possibly belong to someone else other than myself.
Fang breathed into my hair, the warmth of it tickling the back of my neck. He rested his chin there, saying: "Everything will be okay."
"How do you know?" I mumbled, feeling smaller than I had in a long, long time. Ever since the brief high I had been on after winning second place at National's, I had felt so weak and useless. I couldn't do anything to change their minds. I just had to wait it out, and waiting wasn't something I was good at. I was more of an action kind of girl.
"Because I know everything, as I've told you before," Fang replied, and I could sense his smirk.
Deftly I pulled back, punching his shoulder. He mock winced, winking at my narrowed gaze. I couldn't help but snort after that, rolling my eyes. What a cocky, arrogant young man. I voiced these thoughts.
"You're so full of yourself," I joked in an admonishing tone.
"Oh, I am?" he inquired, cocking a dark eyebrow at me. His black hair swept into his eyes at the motion, and on instinct he shook it out of the way.
"Yeah, you are," I insisted, putting my hands on my hips. This easy, effortless banter was what I was used to when I was with him. It was so much more comfortable than what had been transpiring lately.
"Well maybe if you didn't worship the very ground I walked on, I wouldn't think so highly of myself," he proposed, propping his hands on my waist and tugging me forward as I threw my head back and laughed at his preposterous claim.
Then his calloused palm was resting on my cheek, tilting my head towards him. I closed my eyes just as his lips brushed against mine, kissing me with the ever-present smirk he always wore. When things like that happened, it was hard to imagine my life had any complications at all.
He was the only one capable of making me forget, and I didn't want to lose that.
Authors Note: HAHAHAHAH- I don't know why I'm laughing. I'm actually not in a very good mood at all right now, which is weird considering how good this day has gone. I think I'm just tired. NAP TIME FOR OLIVIA! Hahahahah. That was also a joke. I'd never be able to take a nap this late. It'd be pointless.
REVIEEEW . . . bew, bew . . . bew. Uh. Yeah. (bew)
P.S. Heading a different direction: Who's your favorite musician(s)? You'll get a mention in my AN next chapter if you like some of the same bands/artists I do! Yaaay for my total control over what's being said. I still love all of you, even if you listen to terrible music. I'll only judge you in my head, don't worry. ;)