Authors Note: You guys are awesome. Your reviews are awesome. Just . . . awesome. I LOVE YOU. Nothing more needs to be said . . . other than I'm leaving for vacation today for a little over a week, and I'm going to miss you like crazy! Yeah, you. Not anyone else. Just you.

Ahem. I also won't be updating until I get back, obviously. The beach is calling for me, and I will NOT ignore it. So this is what you get for the time being.

Chapter Nineteen:

Because

"You gonna explain what that was about?" Ella asked, once we were safely on the road and headed to the airport. I assumed from the ethereal silence that had consumed everyone in the car, that they had heard at least part of mine and Fang's exchange.

"Nope."

She didn't respond. I knew I hadn't heard the end of it though. Not even in the slightest. By the way her lips were pressed together in a thin line, and the crease in her brow, I could tell she was forcing herself not to question me further. Most likely because of all the people in the car with us.

I would take whatever I could get, I guess.

Leaning my head against the chilled pane of the glass window, a shroud covered my vision as my eyelids slipped shut over my dark brown irises. They itched and burned slightly with unshed tears, as the full weight of the situation set in . . .

I was leaving my home; the only place I had ever really known. I was leaving behind my friends and my family . . . And most of all, I was leaving because of Fang. It was almost unfathomable to me. Something had to be wrong. Maybe I was dreaming. Maybe this was just one huge big nightmare, and I was hopefully going to wake up soon and realize that everything was okay.

Psh. Right.

"Max, we're here," a small voice said in my ear, tiny hands shaking my shoulder lightly. I stirred, cracking one eye open. I must have dozed off during the car ride, though it seemed I wasn't waking up to a reality that I preferred.

"Come on, Max. We have to go get on the plane."

I blinked over at Angel, where she was crouched on the upholstered seat beside me, curly blond ringlets raining around her shoulders and spilling over into her eyes. It took me a few seconds, but I managed a wane smile as I slipped my seat belt off, fingers gliding along until they found the smooth handle of the door. Pushing it open I clambered out onto my feet, stretching slightly. My shirt rode up, exposing a small patch of my stomach, as I arched my back. Tugging it back down again I turned to offer a hand to Angel.

"Thanks," she said politely as I helped her to the asphalt. A car turned into an empty space a few spots over from us; what appeared to be some sort of business man at the wheel. I watched for a moment as he adjusted his tie, before I realized I was staring and I turned away quickly.

His hair was as dark as Fang's.

"Are you just going to stand there all day, or are you going to get a move on?" Ella called out, and I noticed for the first time that everybody was hefting their suitcases towards the airport doors, Mom standing by the trunk with my bag in her hand, waiting.

"Yeah. Sorry," I muttered, disoriented and feeling sick to my stomach. I didn't know how I was going to manage the rest of my life, if all I could see in anybody else was their similarities to Fang. All it did was remind me of the hurt he had caused me, because of what he had done.

What I really needed to do was stop thinking about it . . .

That was easier said than done.

"Are you okay, sweetie?"

I started slightly, glancing over at Mom. She kept pace with me as our dysfunctional little group slowly approached the airport. The sound of roaring engines filled my ears, and we all looked up as a giant plane lifted into the air, gliding farther and farther upwards.

"I'm fine," I said offhandedly. No I'm not. I'm dying inside. He ripped my heart out and fed it to that red haired wonder Lissa, and I don't know what to do because I feel like any second I might break down in tears and just die on the spot, which I shouldn't because I'm so much better than that. Yet, he was so much better than that too. At least I thought he was. But it seems like more and more lately I'm wrong about everything, and I just keep going back and trying to figure out when I started to trust him with every single fiber of my being, knowing how much of a mistake it was . . . and I feel like utter crap because I know I wouldn't take a second of it back . . . Because I love him.

I didn't know how long I would be able to hold all those words inside me, even though they barely scraped the raw emotions that were coursing through me, like salt to an open wound. That wound being my heart, and the pain from it being the blood that was carried to the rest of my body, making everything inside of me pulse with a tangible force of miserable aches.

Glancing over at my mother though, I could tell by the look in her eyes that she had read between the lines, and that she knew exactly what I was feeling . . . Because she did, I remembered suddenly. She did know how it felt to be burned so badly by someone you thought cared for you. Hadn't that been exactly what happened with that scum of the earth Jeb?

He ran out on us, abandoned us, in favor of a new life with his new family.

I flashed back to Jared's funeral; at the astonishment of seeing him there . . . at the rage that his very appearance brought to the surface. For the first time since then I thought about Ari . . . my brother.

And after that it just wouldn't leave my mind, no matter how hard I fought to erase it.

That's why for most of the plane ride to Arizona, I mulled over him. Wondering what he looked like, what he himself was like. Asking what his favorite food was, or if he liked reading. Thinking about how he was treated by other people, and Jeb himself.

But mostly I kept coming back to the frustration of simply not knowing.

That was another unspoken aspect of life, though. It was full of not knowing. Everything was a mystery. You couldn't control how things reacted, or what they set off because of it. You just had to go with the motions, and hope it came out in your favor. I had come to learn that, in most cases, I wasn't so fortunate.

A sudden rustle beside me brought my senses to hyper alert, and I brought my head up from where it had been resting against the small, port-hole like window of the plane. Glancing over I came face to face with Ella, who was staring me down piercingly, her brown eyes a frothing mixture of determination and concern.

"Where did-?" I began, looking around for Angel, who was previously contentedly napping beside me. For the first part of the ride, she had been stationed at the window, her gaze glued to the heavens surrounding us. Eventually she had gotten tired of nothing but columns of clouds, so she had switched me seats and lulled off instantly.

"Bathroom," Ella assured me, pointing over our shoulders. I peeked through the seats, watching Aunt Val's back disappearing down the aisle, a wave of blond curls in front of her. "Gazzy's watching the movie," she threw in for good measure, anticipating my next question.

Sure enough, Gazzy was burrowed deeply into his seat directly in front of us, head resting on his hand as he followed the actors every movement on screen. Headphones nestled around his ears, and I knew he probably couldn't hear a word we were saying. Perfect . . . for Ella, it seemed.

"So what's the deal?" she demanded, leaning in closer to me. A tendril of her dark hair escaped the twist she had it in at the base of her neck, and she looped it haphazardly around her hair in irritation.

"What do you mean?" I asked, feigning innocence. Hopefully my ignorance would force her to drop the matter.

But most likely not.

"You think we didn't hear you and Fang? I wouldn't be surprised if the whole neighborhood didn't," she insisted forcefully, her eyes narrowing impossibly further. She was on a conquest for information, and it seemed that even I was unqualified to impose on such a mission.

"Look Ella, I really don't want to talk about it," I replied tiredly, squeezing my eyes shut tight at the memory. Her hand in his. Their smiling faces. Him . . . kissing her.

"Max please. Just . . . just tell me what happened. Maybe I can help," she offered, a somber quality masking her tone.

"I doubt there's much you can do. That I assure you."

"But-"

"No!" I practically shouted, fighting to keep my voice down. Several passengers glanced over at me anyway, and I glared back forcefully. "What's done is done. There's no going back from here, okay? It's none of your business, so stop trying to make it yours."

I wanted to bite back the harshness of my words as soon as they passed my lips, but it was too late. Just as I had proclaimed, what's done is done. Ella shrunk back, hurt clearly written all over her face. My mouth opened, but no sound came out. With eyes downcast, she slunk back to her seat beside Gazzy, and didn't spare me another glance the rest of the plane ride.

It seemed I was losing what little people I had on my side left and right.

- }{ -

White. Everything was white. It encompassed every sense I had. I could practically hear it roaring in my ears; making my toes curl subconsciously at the shudder tickling down my spine.

At first, it seemed indefinite. Just the color of discolor ranging onward for an indeterminable amount of space. The glare soon diminished slightly though, as my eyes adjusted to the glow it emanated. I could then see that I was stored in what was really only a small room.

Clean, polished tiles cut in neat squares sunk flush together against the ground, stretching out until they met one of the four, bare walls. They seemed to shimmer and sparkle in their blankness, playing tricks on my vision. If I tried to focus on them too long, confusion set in. I couldn't decide whether they were solid or not, and it made my head hurt to mull over it.

One thing I took careful notice of though, was the lack of escape. No windows. No doors. At least, none that could be seen. I was trapped in this brilliant prison. The reason though, I had yet to determine.

I chose this moment to actually take stock of myself for the first time.

Until then, I hadn't payed much attention to it, but now it became overwhelming; so much so that I nearly cried out. There was an itch tearing up my back, and it made me so uncomfortable that it was verging on agonizing. It felt like the skin, starting at my shoulder blades, was wiggling in place; muscles bunching and curling into a mass that simply squirmed around my spine. Arranging and rearranging themselves to fit some purpose.

Breathing heavily I dropped my elbows to the ground, unable to manage the crouch I had been resting in previously. My limbs quivered, as a light trickle of sweat broke out on my forehead, slipping down my neck. Trembling even more I layed down on my stomach, closing my eyes. I didn't understand what was happening, and a part of me didn't want to know either.

So I waited it out, doing my best to ignore the discomfort.

I didn't know how much time passed. Seconds? Minutes? Hours? In this crude hold I couldn't be sure. In the long run, that probably didn't matter anyway. What really grabbed my attention was the heavy sensation now pressing down on my back. Other than that, there was nothing.

Slowly I lifted my head, craning it around to see as much as possible. I didn't have to strain myself much though. It didn't take a lot to see what was obviously now protruding from my back . . .

Wings.

Authors Note: So. Not a cliffhanger or anything, really. Can you live with it? (:

P.S. For those of you who have Skype, would it not be kinda awesome to do random Skype chats after I update? We can talk about . . . stuff. Like the chapter, and the story, and other things about life. Is that something anybody would be interested in? Lemme' know!

P.P.S. In honor of my vacationing, what's YOUR favorite vacation?