After finishing lunch, they all settled back in the drawing room to read again, and Harry gave the book to Fred.
"Chapter Four," he read," The Keeper of the Keys."
Sounds like Hagrid."
"It is, Ron, now be quiet so Fred can read."
BOOM.
"Fred!"
"What? You're supposed to YELL the words in capitols!"
"Well then yell quieter next time!"
They knocked again. Dudley jerked awake.
"Where's the cannon?" he said stupidly.
They laughed.
"He's not just fat, he's stupid too!" Sirius managed to say through his barklike laughter.
There was a crash behind them and Uncle Vernon came skidding into the room. He was holding a rifle in his hands – now they knew what had been in the long, thin package he had brought with them.
"He SERIOUSLY brought a gun with you?!?" Lily shrieked to Harry, who winced, along with Petunia, who knew she was probably going to get yelled at, even though she hadn't done anything. Yet.
"No, I'm Sirius, not you," Sirius joked, while his friends rolled their eyes at his old joke.
"Who's there?" he shouted. "I warn you, I'm armed!"
"Well of course you're armed, it would be pretty hard to do things without arms," Ron quipped. "by the way, Sirius, pay up." Sirius grimaced, and handed over two galleons.
There was a pause. Then –
SMASH!
"Seriously Fred, stop!"
"He's not Sirius, I am!"
"WE KNOW!!"
The door was hit with such force that it swung clean off its hinges and with a deafening crash landed flat on the floor.
A giant of a man was standing in the doorway.
"Yeah, it's Hagrid," Harry said to the others' questioning looks.
"Way to be anticlimactic, Harry," Fred chortled before continuing.
His face was almost completely hidden by a long, shaggy mane of hair and a wild, tangled beard, but you could make out his eyes, glinting like black beetles under all the hair.
"Hasn't changed a bit," Lily chuckled happily.
The giant squeezed his way into the hut, stooping so that his head just brushed the ceiling. He bent down, picked up the door, and fitted it easily back into its frame. The noise of the storm outside dropped a little. He turned to look at them all.
"Couldn't make us a cup o' tea, could yeh? It's not been an easy journey…"
"Typical Hagrid," Ginny smiled.
He strode over to the sofa where Dudley sat frozen with fear.
"Budge up, yeh great lump," said the stranger.
Everyone cracked up laughing.
"Truer words have never been spoken," James said, wiping a tear away from his eye.
Dudley squeaked and ran to hide behind his mother, who was crouching, terrified, behind Uncle Vernon.
"I was surprised that he was even able to fit behind him," Harry laughed.
"An' here's Harry!" said the giant.
Harry looked up into the fierce, wild, shadowy face and saw that the beetle eyes were crinkled in a smile.
"Las' time I saw you, you was only a baby," said the giant. "Yeh look a lot like yer dad,
"Understatement of the century," Sirius grinned. "You two could be twins, except for Lily's eyes." They all laughed at Lily's embarrassed blush.
but yeh've got yer mom's eyes."
Uncle Vernon made a funny rasping noise.
"I demand that you leave at once, sir!" he said. "You are breaking and entering!"
"Like that'll work," Severus snorted.
"Ah, shut up, Dursley, yeh great prune!," said the giant; he reached over the back of the sofa, jerked the gun out of Uncle Vernon's hands, bent it into a knot as easily as if it had been made of rubber, and threw it into a corner of the room.
Uncle Vernon made another funny noise, like a mouse being trodden on.
"What DOES a mouse being trodden on sound like?" Harry asked the two Lupins.
"It's basically a loud squeak," Moony explained. No one decided to question him, since he had the best hearing of anyone there, and everyone knew it, since they all knew he was a werewolf, since Sirius had had let it slip during lunch. At first, Severus and Petunia had been fearful, but Severus had accepted it first, as he'd already been attacked by Remus once (the time James saved Snape's life in the books). Petunia, on the otherhand, was still wary around Remus, and kept to the other side of the room.
"Anyway – Harry," said the giant, turning his back on the Dursleys, "a very happy to yeh. Got summat for yeh here – I mighta sat on it at some point, but it'll taste all right."
From an inside pocket of his black overcoat he pulled a slightly squashed box. Inside was a large, sticky chocolate
"WHERE?!? WHERE'S THE CHOCOLATE?!?!" Remus yelled, rapidly turning his head to try and find said chocolate.
"Calm down, Moony. It's not real, it's in the book," James said, trying to calm down his friend. Remus sighed, a disappointed expression on his face.
cake with Happy Birthday Harry written on it in green icing.
The women all cooed, and Harry blushed with embarrassment. The men (except for the Remuses) snickered.
Harry looked up at the giant. He meant to say thank you, but the words got lost on the way to his mouth, and what he said instead was, "Who are you?"
"How rude, Harry," George said in a false-chiding voice, "Where are you manners?" Harry pouted.
The giant chuckled.
"True, I haven't introduced meself. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts."
He held out an enormous hand and shook Harry's whole arm.
"Yeah, I hate it when he does that," Padfoot remarked with a pained expression on his haunted face.
"What about that tea then, eh?" he said, rubbing his hands together. "I'd not say no ter summat stronger if yeh've got it, mind."
His eyes fell on the empty grate with the shriveled chip bags in it and he snorted. He bent down over the fireplace; they couldn't see what he was doing but when he drew back a second later, there was a roaring fire there. It filled the whole damp hut with flickering light and Harry felt the warmth wash over him as though he'd sunk into a hot bath.
The giant sat back down on the sofa, which sagged under his weight, and began taking all sorts of things out of the pockets of his coat: a copper kettle, a squashy package of sausages, a poker, a teapot, several chipped mugs, and a bottle of some amber liquid that he took a swig from before starting to make tea.
"I keep meaning to ask Hagrid how many pockets he has," Ron commented airily.
Soon the hut was full of the sound and smell of sizzling sausage. Nobody said a thing while the giant was working, but as he slid the first six fat, juicy, slightly burnt sausages from the poker, Dudley fidgeted a little. Uncle Vernon said sharply, "Don't touch anything he gives you, Dudley."
"What do you think's stronger in Dudley, the desire to eat, or the fear of magic," Hermione said with a lofty air.
The giant chuckled darkly.
"Yer great puddin' of a son don' need fattenin' anymore, Dursley, don' worry."
"Truer words have been spoken only once before," Sirius recalled, a huge smile on his face.
He passed the sausages to Harry, who was so hungry he had never tasted anything so wonderful, but he still couldn't take his eyes off the giant. Finally, as nobody seemed about to explain anything, he said, "I'm sorry, but I still don't really know who you are."
The giant took a gulp of tea and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
"Call me Hagrid," he said, "everyone does. An' like I told yeh, I'm Keeper of Keys at Hogwarts — yeh'll know all about Hogwarts, o' course."
"Crap, here it comes," Harry sighed softly.
"Er — no," said Harry.
Hagrid looked shocked.
"Sorry," Harry said quickly.
"Sorry?" barked Hagrid, turning to stare at the Dursleys, who shrank back into the shadows. "It's them as should be sorry! I knew yeh weren't gettin' yer letters but I never thought yeh wouldn't even know abou' Hogwarts, fer cryin' out loud! Did yeh never wonder where yer parents learned it all?"
"All what?" asked Harry.
"ALL WHAT?" Hagrid thundered. "Now wait jus' one second!"
"Scary time!" the Twins cheered together. "And for once he's not angry at us!"
He had leapt to his feet. In his anger he seemed to fill the whole hut. The Dursleys were cowering against the wall.
"Do you mean ter tell me," he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy — this boy! — knows nothin' abou' — about ANYTHING?"
"Alright, that made you feel like an idiot, didn't it?" Lily said to Harry.
Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks weren't bad.
"I know some things," he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff."
Everyone except for Harry snorted. Harry just pouted.
But Hagrid simply waved his hand and said, "About our world, I mean. Your world. My world. Yer parents' world."
"What world?"
Hagrid looked as if he was about to explode.
"Run to the hills! He's going to explode!" Ron cried to general laughter.
"DURSLEY!" he boomed.
Uncle Vernon, who had gone very pale, whispered something that sounded like "Mimblewimble."
"What's that mean, anyway?" Petunia said to no one in particular.
Hagrid stared wildly at Harry. "But yeh must know about yer mom and dad," he said. "I mean, they're famous. You're famous."
"What? My — my mum and dad weren't famous, were they?"
"YES! I'M FAMOUS!!" James cheered, until he remembered exactly what he was famous for. Lily gave him a hug, even though she too was sobbing.
"Yeh don' know…yeh don' know…" Hagrid ran his fingers through his hair, fixing Harry with a bewildered stare.
"Yeh don' know what yeh are?" he said finally.
"You're a mentally challenged hippogriff that has been taught how to swim," Padfoot said. Everyone burst out laughing.
Uncle Vernon suddenly found his voice.
"Stop!" he commanded. "Stop right there, sir! I forbid you to tell the boy anything!"
"…And?"
A braver man than Vernon Dursley would have quailed under the furious look Hagrid now gave him; when Hagrid spoke, his every syllable trembled with rage.
"You never told him? Never told him what was in the letter Dumbledore left fer him? I was there! I saw Dumbledore leave it, Dursley! An' you've kept it from him all these years?"
Everyone looked at Petunia, who lowered her head in shame for her future self.
"Kept what from me?" said Harry eagerly.
"STOP! I FORBID YOU!" yelled Uncle Vernon in panic.
"…And what'll you do if you can't stop Hagrid?"
Aunt Petunia gave a gasp of horror.
"Ah, go boil yer heads, both of yeh," said Hagrid. "Harry — yer a wizard."
"…Well, that was dramatic," Severus remarked. "No sense of drama whatsoever."
There was silence inside the hut. Only the sea and the whistling wind could be heard.
"I'm a what?" gasped Harry.
"A FREAKING HIPPOGRIFF!!!" Moony, who was sitting next to Padfoot, jumped up and glared at him. He decided to sit next to Remus, since he knew how sensitive his own hearing was.
"A wizard, o' course," said Hagrid, sitting back down on the sofa, which groaned and sank even lower, "an' a thumpin' good 'un, I'd say, once yeh've been trained up a bit. With a mum an' dad like yours, what else would yeh be? An' I reckon it's abou' time yeh read yer letter."
"Yes, it was."
"Harry, we know this is your life we're reading about. You don't need to emphasize it."
"Yes, Ginny."
Harry stretched out his hand at last to take the yellowish envelope, addressed in emerald green to Mr. H. Potter, The Floor, Hut-on-the-Rock, The Sea. He pulled out the letter and read:
HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY
Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)
Dear Mr. Potter,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall,
Deputy Headmistress
Questions exploded inside Harry's head like fireworks and he couldn't decide which to ask first. After a few minutes he stammered, "What does it mean, they await my owl?"
"Out of thousands of questions, you chose that one." Lily chuckled. "Of course, that's the first one I asked, too."
"Gallopin' Gorgons, that reminds me," said Hagrid, clapping a hand to his forehead with enough force to knock over a cart horse,
"Hey, George, remember that time we asked Hagrid to knock over a cart horse?"
"Yes, Fred, yes I do."
"Why, what happened?" Hermione asked.
Fred spoke up first. "He originally refused, then he turned around and ran into one. Needless to say, the cart horse didn't stand a chance."
"Then he put it back on his feet and apologized," his twin added.
and from yet another pocket inside his overcoat he pulled an owl — a real, live, rather ruffled-looking owl — a long quill, and a roll of parchment. With his tongue between his teeth he scribbled a note that Harry could read upside down:
Dear Professor Dumbledore,
Given Harry his letter.
Taking him to buy his things tomorrow.
Weather's horrible. Hope you're well.
Hagrid
"Yeah can read his handwriting upside-down? I can barely read it right side up!" James said, shock evident in his voice.
Hagrid rolled up the note, gave it to the owl, which clamped it in its beak, went to the door, and threw the owl out into the storm. Then he came back and sat down as though this was as normal as talking on the telephone.
"It is normal, for us,"
Harry realized his mouth was open and closed it quickly.
"Where was I?" said Hagrid, but at that moment, Uncle Vernon, still ashen-faced but looking very angry, moved into the firelight.
"He's not going," he said.
Hagrid grunted.
"I'd like ter see a great Muggle like you stop him," he said.
"A what?" said Harry, interested.
"I was so innocent back then," Harry sighed and shook his head.
"A Muggle," said Hagrid, "it's what we call nonmagic folk like them. An' it's your bad luck you grew up in a family o' the biggest Muggles I ever laid eyes on."
"We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to that rubbish," said Uncle Vernon, "swore we'd stamp it out of him! Wizard indeed!"
"You knew?" said Harry. "You knew I'm a — a wizard?"
"'Course, Petunia told him, DIDN'T YOU?" Lily added this remark to the person in question, who could only nod.
"Knew!" shrieked Aunt Petunia suddenly. "Knew! Of course we knew! How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was?
"Knew it."
Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that — that school — and came home every vacation with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats. I was the only one who saw her for what she was — a freak! But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!"
"Wow… you really feel that way?" Petunia nodded reluctantly. "I hate that you have magic powers, and I'm…just…normal. It's not fair you got all the magic genes!" she ended with a sob. Lily put her arm around her and lent her a shoulder to cry on. "There's not really anything I can do about the magic, you DO have your own talents, you just need to find them. I, on the other hand, don't really have any talents other than magic and smarts."
Petunia blew her nose loudly.
"I guess I have talents. I mean, I'm a master at styling hair!" she said, trying to be upbeat. "That's one thing I can do well at!"
James started crying at the emotions running high in the room. Lily put an arm around him as well, and he started to feel better. They continued reading once everyone had gotten their emotions out of them.
She stopped to draw a deep breath and then went ranting on. It seemed she had been wanting to say all this for years.
"Then she met that Potter at school and they left and got married and had you, and of course I knew you'd be just the same, just as strange, just as — as —abnormal — and then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you!"
Harry had gone very white. As soon as he found his voice he said, "Blown up? You told me they died in a car crash!"
"…" everyone looked at Petunia. "What?"
"CAR CRASH!" roared Hagrid, jumping up so angrily that the Dursleys scuttled back to their corner. "How could a car crash kill Lily an' James Potter? It's an outrage! A scandal! Harry Potter not knowin' his own story when every kid in our world knows his name!"
"No wonder you didn't know anything about wizards when we met you," Ginny said to Harry. "It was because of those…those…things!"
"Hey! I'm not a thing!"
"You just keep telling yourself that, Potter."
"Shut up Snape."
"But why? What happened?" Harry asked urgently.
The anger faded from Hagrid's face. He looked suddenly anxious.
"I never expected this," he said, in a low, worried voice. "I had no idea, when Dumbledore told me there might be trouble gettin' hold of yeh, how much yeh didn't know. Ah, Harry, I don' know if I'm the right person ter tell yeh — but someone's gotta — yeh can't go off ter Hogwarts not knowin'."
He threw a dirty look at the Dursleys.
"Well, it's best yeh know as much as I can tell yeh — mind, I can't tell yeh everythin', it's a great myst'ry, parts of it…"
"Not to us," Harry said with a smirk.
He sat down, stared into the fire for a few seconds, and then said, "It begins, I suppose, with — with a person called — but it's incredible yeh don't know his name, everyone in our world knows —"
"Who?"
"Well — I don' like sayin' the name if I can help it. No one does."
"Why not?"
"Gulpin' gargoyles, Harry, people are still scared. Blimey, this is difficult. See, there was this wizard who went…bad. As bad as you could go. Worse. Worse than worse. His name was…"
"Go on, Hagrid!"
"Ummm… Padfoot? He can't hear."
"…Shut up Moony."
Hagrid gulped, but no words came out.
"Could you write it down?" Harry suggested.
"Nah — can't spell it. All right —Voldemort. "
"Yes! Probably the only time he will ever say Voldemort, and it's my son who gets him to do it!"
Hagrid shuddered. "Don' make me say it again. Anyway, this — this wizard, about twenty years ago now, started lookin' fer followers. Got 'em, too — some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o' his power, 'cause he was gettin' himself power, all right. Dark days, Harry. Didn't know who ter trust, didn't dare get friendly with strange wizards or witches…terrible things happened. He was takin' over. 'Course, some stood up to him — an' he killed 'em. Horribly. One o' the only safe places left was Hogwarts. Reckon Dumbledore's the only one You-Know-Who was afraid of. Didn't dare try takin' the school, not jus' then, anyway.
Everyone from the future (in this case, Ginny, Harry, Ron, Hermione) grimaced, remembering how the school had been taken over by Death Eaters in their last year there. Everyone else just looked confused at their reactions.
"Now, yer mum an' dad were as good a witch an' wizard as I ever knew. Head boy an' girl at Hogwarts in their day!
"What the hell? We knew Remus was a prefect, but James! Head Boy!" the Twins yelled
"I know! Traitors to the cause!" Sirius cried dramatically. The three of them collapsed in fake sobbing while everyone but Remus, Moony, and James laughed. They just sulked.
Suppose the myst'ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get 'em on his side before…probably knew they were too close ter Dumbledore ter want anythin' ter do with the Dark Side.
"Maybe he thought he could persuade 'em…maybe he just wanted 'em outta the way. All anyone knows is, he turned up in the village where you was all living, on Halloween ten years ago. You was just a year old. He came ter yer house an' — an' —"
James felt the sudden urge to pull Lily and Harry closer to himself, which he complied.
Hagrid suddenly pulled out a very dirty, spotted handkerchief and blew his nose with a sound like a foghorn.
"Sorry," he said. "But it's that sad — knew yer mum an' dad, an' nicer people yeh couldn't find — anyway…
"Remember me to thank Hagrid next time I see him," James told Sirius.
"You-Know-Who killed 'em. An' then — an' this is the real myst'ry of the thing — he tried to kill you, too. Wanted ter make a clean job of it, I suppose, or maybe he just liked killin' by then. But he couldn't do it. Never wondered how you got that mark on yer forehead? That was no ordinary cut. That's what yeh get when a powerful, evil curse touches yeh — took care of yer mum an' dad an' yer house, even — but it didn't work on you, an' that's why yer famous, Harry.
"Whoo! My son's famous!' James cried.
"Believe me, it's not all it's cracked up to be," Harry said while sulking.
"No one ever lived after he decided ter kill 'em, no one except you, an' he'd killed some o' the best witches an' wizards of the age — the McKinnons,
Sirius straightened, remembering his new girlfriend, Marlene McKinnon.
The Bones, The Prewitts
The Weasleys looked sad about being reminded that the Prewitt twins were no longer with them.
— an' you was only a baby, an' you lived."
Something very painful was going on in Harry's mind. As Hagrid's story came to a close, he saw again the blinding flash of green light, more clearly than he had ever remembered it before — and he remembered something else, for the first time in his life: a high, cold, cruel laugh.
Hagrid was watching him sadly.
"Took yeh from the ruined house myself, on Dumbledore's orders. Brought yeh ter this lot…."
"Load of old tosh," said Uncle Vernon.
Harry jumped; he had almost forgotten that the Dursleys were there. Uncle Vernon certainly seemed to have got back his courage. He was glaring at Hagrid and his fists were clenched.
"Now, you listen here, boy," he snarled, "I accept there's something strange about you, probably nothing a good beating wouldn't have cured
"Yeah, your beating!" Ron snarled back.
— and as for all this about your parents, well, they were weirdoes, no denying it, and the world's better off without them in my opinion — asked for all they got, getting mixed up with these wizarding types — just what I expected, always knew they'd come to a sticky end —"
But at that moment, Hagrid leapt from the sofa and drew a battered pink umbrella from inside his coat. Pointing this at Uncle Vernon like a sword, he said, "I'm warning you, Dursley — I'm warning you — one more word…"
In danger of being speared on the end of an umbrella by a bearded giant, Uncle Vernon's courage failed again; he flattened himself against the wall and fell silent.
"Good riddance," Hermione muttered.
"That's better," said Hagrid,
Breathing heavily and sitting back down on the sofa, which this time sagged right down to the floor.
Harry, meanwhile, still had questions to ask, hundreds of them.
"But what happened to Vol-, sorry — I mean, You-Know-Who?"
"You mean you ACTUALLY called him You-Know-Who once?!? OhMyGodTheWorldIsEnding!" Ron screamed. Harry just rolled his eyes.
"Good question, Harry. Disappeared. Vanished. Same night he tried ter kill you. Makes yeh even more famous. That's the biggest myst'ry, see…he was gettin' more an' more powerful — why'd he go?
"Some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion. Dunno if he had enough human left in him to die. Some say he's still out there, bidin' his time, like, but I don' believe it. People who was on his side came back ter ours. Some of 'em came outta kinda trances. Don' reckon they could've done if he was comin' back.
"Most of us reckon he's still out there somewhere but lost his powers. Too weak to carry on. 'Cause somethin' about you finished him, Harry. There was somethin' goin' on that night he hadn't counted on — I dunno what it was, no one does — but somethin' about you stumped him, all right."
Harry received a standing ovation from the audience, which he pretended to bow to.
in his eyes, but Harry, instead of feeling pleased and proud, felt quite sure there had been a horrible mistake. A wizard? Him? How could he possibly be? He'd spent his life being clouted by Dudley, and bullied by Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon; if he was really a wizard, why hadn't they been turned into warty toads every time they'd tried to lock him in his cupboard? If he'd once defeated the greatest sorcerer in the world, how come Dudley had always been able to kick him around like a football?
The growls could almost be heard from downstairs.
"Hagrid," he said quietly, "I think you must have made a mistake. I don't think I can be a wizard."
To his surprise, Hagrid chuckled.
"Not a wizard, eh? Never made things happen when you was scared or angry?"
Harry looked into the fire. Now he came to think about it…every odd thing that had ever made his aunt and uncle furious with him had happened when he, Harry, had been upset or angry…chased by Dudley's gang, he had somehow found himself out of their reach…dreading going to school with that ridiculous haircut, he'd managed to make it grow back…and the very last time Dudley had hit him, hadn't he got his revenge, without even realizing he was doing it? Hadn't he set a boa constrictor on him?
Harry looked back at Hagrid, smiling, and saw that Hagrid was positively beaming at him.
"See?" said Hagrid. "Harry Potter, not a wizard — you wait, you'll be right famous at Hogwarts."
But Uncle Vernon wasn't going to give in without a fight.
"Haven't I told you he's not going?" he hissed. "He's going to Stonewall High and he'll be grateful for it. I've read those letters and he needs all sorts of rubbish — spell books and wands and —"
"If he wants ter go, a great Muggle like you won't stop him," growled Hagrid. "Stop Lily an' James Potter's son goin' ter Hogwarts! Yer mad. His name's been down ever since he was born. He's off ter the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world. Seven years there and he won't know himself. He'll be with youngsters of his own sort, fer a change, an' he'll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts ever had Albus Dumbled—"
"I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! He's going DOWN!" Padfoot cackled, gangster style.
But he had finally gone too far. Hagrid seized his umbrella and whirled it over his head, "NEVER —" he thundered, "— INSULT — ALBUS — DUMBLEDORE — IN — FRONT — OF — ME!"
He brought the umbrella swishing down through the air to point at Dudley — there was a flash of violet light, a sound like a firecracker, a sharp squeal, and the next second, Dudley was dancing on the spot with his hands clasped over his fat bottom, howling in pain. When he turned his back on them, Harry saw a curly pig's tail poking through a hole in his trousers.
It took about twenty minutes for the room to calm down enough to finish reading.
Uncle Vernon roared. Pulling Aunt Petunia and Dudley into the other room, he cast one last terrified look at Hagrid and slammed the door behind them.
Hagrid looked down at his umbrella and stroked his beard.
"Shouldn'ta lost me temper," he said ruefully, "but it didn't work anyway. Meant ter turn him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway there wasn't much left ter do."
"He's right, all he needed was the curly tail!" Harry said to much laughter.
He cast a sideways look at Harry under his bushy eyebrows.
"Be grateful if yeh didn't mention that ter anyone at Hogwarts," he said. "I'm — er — not supposed ter do magic, strictly speakin'. I was allowed ter do a bit ter follow yeh an' get yer letters to yeh an' stuff — one o' the reasons I was so keen ter take on the job."
"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well — I was at Hogwarts meself but I — er — got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wand in half an' everything. But Dumbledore let me stay on as gamekeeper. Great man, Dumbledore."
"Why were you expelled?"
James took Harry by the shoulder and led him into a corner of the room. "You know, Harry, you need a crash course in how to weasel information out of people. Want me to teach you?" he asked. When Harry nodded, James cackled evilly and rubbed his hands together. "Excellent. We'll start tomorrow."
"It's gettin' late and we've got lots ter do tomorrow," said Hagrid loudly. "Gotta get up ter town, get all yer books an' that."
He took off his thick black coat and threw it to Harry.
"You can kip under that," he said. "Don' mind if it wriggles a bit, I think I still got a couple o' doormice in one o' the pockets."
"Hagrid! That's disgusting!" all of the women yelled. Several hundred miles away, in his little cottage on the grounds of Hogwarts, Hagrid sneezed.
"That's the end of the chapter," Fred said, closing the book. "Now what are we going to do for sleeping?" everyone turned to Harry, who sighed. "your rooms are all this way," he said, leading them on.
That's a wrap. See if you can find the references to Prongsie123's The Order and the Philosopher's Stone!