Fan Number 61

by a quirky little tune

The sun set slowly and heavily, disappearing into the waves without a fuss. Sora sighed and stretched his long legs out on the sandy shore of Play Island. His right hand absentmindedly grabbed some warm sand and slowly let the grains slip through his fingers. His other hand crept guiltily to the pocket where he had stored the keychain. He hesitated a moment, then pulled it out.

A small feeling of discomfort washed over him and his brow furrowed. Why had he taken this piece of crappy plastic? He was such a loser. His feelings for Riku had led him to snatching up a cheap trinket off the dirty hallway floor – even he hadn't realized that his crush was getting that bad.

He moved to toss it into the waves before him. His arm followed through, but his fingers refused to release their hold and he was stuck feeling even more foolish, if possible, than he had just a few seconds before. Shaking his head, he stared intently at the candid shot of Riku and resolved to throw the keychain away as soon as he got home. No excuses.

"Whatcha got there, So-ra?"

Sora twitched in surprise and didn't move fast enough to keep the inquisitive hand from snaking the keychain from his grasp. He wildly flailed, trying to get it back from the giggling brunette who had snuck up behind him.

"Selphie, ack - ! Don't look at – it's not mine, I just found it, y'know, at – at scho-"

Selphie jumped back from Sora, earning herself a little distance, and inspected her winnings. A big grin split across her face and she sighed most romantically. "Awww! Sora, were you really just mooning over a badly taken, miniaturized photo of Riku?"

Eyes wide, Sora blinked. "Uh, no?"

Selphie laughed and threw the keychain back into Sora's lap. She sat herself down next to him, placed her school bag on her outstretched legs, and gave him a friendly punch to the shoulder. "You are just too darn cute, Sora! Pining over Riku like that – why, it makes me want to matchmake!"

"NO," Sora cut in, horrified. "Wakka still runs away and hides from that crazy chick you tried setting him up with a few months ago –"

"How was I supposed to know she had a mental history? Her family kept it very hush-hush," Selphie muttered unhappily.

Sora continued, "And Kairi's most recent ex-boyfriend is still sending Riku love sonnets."

"Okay, that was definitely not my fault! I really thought he liked Kairi – how was I supposed to know that he secretly had a thing for silver headed jackasses!"

"Selphie!" the brunet said, appalled.

Selphie smiled at him sweetly. "Hey, I love Riku just as much as – well, okay, not as much as you, apparently, but a decent amount. I love him enough to admit that he is, indeed, a jackass – sincere affections prompt me to be honest, you see?" Her eyes twinkled disarmingly. "But, by all means, go ahead defending his honor."

Sora put his hands to his face and groaned and allowed his body to tip over onto its side. Anything to escape the sure-to-be-mortifying conversation with the island's resident gossip and all-around meddler, Selphie Tilmitt.

She poked him in his side, hard. "You can't hide from this conversation, bub. I want all the details about you and Riku! Spill."

Sitting up and attempting to brush the sand from his hair and clothes, Sora grumbled miserably, "There are no details to tell."

"Well, there must be something. Otherwise, you wouldn't have joined the DaiRiZu, right?"

"I am no way a part of that horrible, horrible – um –"

"Horrible?" Selphie supplied dryly.

"Yes, horrible! That – that horrible excuse for a fan club!" Sora sputtered, outraged at the very suggestion that he would take part in a club that was exasperating one friend and harassing the other. He paused a moment. "What made you think that, though?"

Rolling her eyes good-naturedly, Selphie unzipped her bag's side pocket and rummaged through her miscellaneous collection of junk. Finally, she pulled out a round pin that had the very same picture of Riku playing basketball dominating its front. Sora stared at it and let the cogs turn in his head.

"Hey, that's…" a DaiRiZu pin.

"Yup."

"Just like…" the keychain Kairi showed us in the hallway today. Sora idly wished that his brain would pick up the pace and actually complete a full sentence sometime soon.

"Yup."

"But that would mean…"

"That I'm a part of the DaiRiZu fan club? Why, yes I am," Selphie replied cheerfully, as if she hadn't just said something moderately ridiculous. "I'm number 17!"

Thoughts flew a mile a minute in Sora's head. Selphie was actually a part of that psycho group? What had she been doing while Kairi was getting bullied? Sora knew well that Selphie would rather chop off her hair and burn her precious romance novels before ever hurting one of her best friends, but could she possibly know who specifically was pulling all those horrible pranks?

She had a pretty low member number – 17 – which meant she had joined the club relatively early on. Why had she joined in the first place? Did… did she have feelings for Riku? A feeling of dread began churning in the pits of his stomach. He hadn't heard anything about a crush but then again, Kairi had said that Sora's feelings were obvious to everyone except Riku. Maybe Selphie felt it would be too awkward if she told him.

"Ok-ay, you're definitely over thinking things," Selphie muttered, poking Sora in the cheek.

"Why are you – I mean, you don't have – Selphie, tell it to me straight," he said with difficulty, hating how all coherency had been apparently stolen from him at the beginning of this conversation.

Despite his babbling, Selphie seemed to understand what he was getting at and she rolled her eyes. "Geez, Sora, I'm not in love with Riku, if that's what you're trying to get at. I wouldn't dare paw at your man. I just happen to like free merchandise."

"You joined for the keychains?"

She hummed appreciatively. "Welllll, yeah. And the pens and the pins and the headbands, too. I just didn't realize how low quality they were until after, unfortunately… See, one of my friends from English class joined and she knew I was friends with Riku, so she told me all about the club. It sounded ridiculous and fun and I definitely couldn't pass up the rare opportunity to join a real fan club – even though it was for Riku, of all people. Plus, it was early enough that they were still handing out the keychains and the pens and stuff."

"Selphie," Sora started cautiously, unsure of how much she knew, "has Kairi told you about all that hazing she's gone through lately?"

"Yeah, about that," Selphie muttered darkly, crossing her arms and suddenly looking very peeved, "She didn't tell me herself, but I heard some rumors about it floating around the DaiRiZu. I confronted her immediately and she came clean – I was outraged, of course, but when I tried to track down the sources of those rumors, I couldn't get anywhere. No one really knew who was actually heading all the pranks. So I decided to stay in the club until I caught the bullies responsible." She cracked her knuckles and managed to look quite threatening despite her childlike appearance.

Sora grinned and thought back to the days when Selphie ran around Play Island, whipping her jump rope around to keep Tidus in line. She may not carry her weapon of choice on her at all times anymore, but Selphie was nothing if not a creative brat.

"You should join me, Sora."

"Yeah, I-" Sora paused and thought hard. "Wait, wait, join you how?"

"Sabotaging the DaiRiZu from the inside, of course!"

Goofy and naïve as Sora may be, an idiot he was not. "But that would mean I'd have to join Riku's fan club."

Her little, slightly intimidating fists planted themselves on her hips. "You want to help Kairi, don't you?" she asked accusingly.

Sora said, "… Yes, of course."

"And you love Riku, don't you?"

Sora blanched. "I wouldn't call it love, really –"

She ignored him. "So what's the problem here?"

Thumbing the smooth plastic of the keychain in his hand, he shot her a very pointed look. "C'mon, Selphie, there's a line between liking someone and joining their fan club. I don't have to join his club and get free key trinkets with his face on them to prove that I like Riku."

"You make a fair point," Selphie conceded, twirling a piece of her hair. "Fine, don't think about joining the DaiRiZu because of Riku then. Just think of it as a way of protecting Kairi. A lot of the members won't really share any information with me because we grew up together."

"And how will I get that information any easier? In case you haven't noticed, I'm one of Riku's closest friends," Sora pointed out, feeling lost.

Here, Selphie hesitated slightly. She said softly, "They'll probably see you as less of a threat, because, well, the fan club is made up of mostly girls… No one really knows what preference Riku is, but most of the members assume that he's straight. There's kind of a double standard. They think that if Riku really was gay, then he would have already come on to you by this point, since you guys are childhood friends. But when it comes to Riku's female childhood friends, they think that he might 'grow into' his feelings as he sees them becoming mature women, or some stupid nonsense like that." She winced as she watched Sora's shoulders gradually drop and hurried to add, "Not that any of that bullshit is supposed to matter – technically, the club is only for supporting Riku, not for actively pursuing him."

Selphie's explanation was everything Sora knew and was trying to convince himself of, but had dreaded to hear coming from someone else. He couldn't say that he was altogether shocked at her words, but his chest felt heavy hearing them said aloud.

"No. No, they're right to assume that. Riku's probably straight. Or, at the very least, if he was ever remotely interested in me, he would have done something to let me know," Sora said with a heavy sigh, looking especially despondent with the puppyish look he had on his face. Selphie bit her lip and mentally smacked herself for saying those things so bluntly.

She nudged his shoulder with her leg and tried to make him look up to see the sincerity in her expression. "Listen, Sora, don't say crap like that. Who cares what those kids assume about Riku? They don't really know the first thing about him – I mean, they spend their days finding out what kind of movies he likes and the books he reads and the food he eats, but you already know all that stuff. Not because you watched him from afar or because you asked someone else – you know all that stuff because Riku shared it with you. He's shared his whole life with you, you know? All of his experiences are your experiences and vice versa. Honestly, don't take the DaiRiZu's opinion seriously, because if anyone knows our Riku, it's you, not them."

Sora ran sandy fingers through his hair. He thought carefully about the words he wanted to say, because while Selphie had made very valid points, there was still something that killed him. "I know you say that I know Riku better than all of the DaiRiZu members combined, and I can't really argue with that." He paused and pursed his lips in frustration. "It's just – that's kind of the problem, Selphie. Like, I've been with Riku for as long as I can remember and even I don't know his preference. Dating has never been important to him, besides that brief period when we both liked Kairi at the same time. Back then, I knew immediately when Riku started to like her without him ever having to tell me. Shouldn't it be the same now? If Riku does like me, then shouldn't I already know?"

He stared out into the dark water moodily and realized he should probably get home soon. In some ways, talking with Selphie had been a huge help. It also made him feel emotionally exhausted. He stood and turned to her, taken aback by the look of pure struggle on her face.

Selphie exhaled loudly, irritably, and muttered something about, "If only I hadn't sworn on my jump rope…" She cleared her throat and said confidently, "Sora, I know this is a scary territory for you, but trust me. You're a pretty observant guy when you're on the outside – but this time, I think you're just a little too close to the situation and that's why you can't see what is so freakin' obvious to anyone who knows you or Riku."

Before he could really question what that meant, Selphie grabbed his arm and started pulling him toward the dock where they had left their boats. She began chattering incessantly, eyes wide and smile bright as Sora stumbled along, trying to keep up.

" – So, I'll let the DaiRiZu leaders know you're interested tomorrow –"

Stunned, Sora dug his heels in the sand so suddenly that Selphie nearly fell face forward into the ground. "Whoa, Selphie, I never said I was going to join!"

She stared him down. "You didn't say you weren't going to do it."

He remained unmoved. "Yes, I did. I said –" His brain stuttered to a stop. When he really thought about it, he had never outright stated that he wasn't going to join. He tried to switch tactics. "C'mon, Selphie, don't you think I'm suffering enough without Riku's fan club on my case?"

"Do you want to help Kairi?" she asked in frustration, very close to stomping her foot.

He crossed his arms and said, "Yes, of course I do, but there are other ways –"

"This is the easiest way –"

"It's embarrassing, that's what it is –"

"No one will ever know, Sora –"

"Look, I'm just not comfortable –"

"SORA. Do you want me to matchmake? Because I can. To the best of my ability. Starting tomorrow."

The brunet paused, swallowed audibly, and dropped his arms down to his sides. Riku would never find out, right? It was a big risk to take, though. Because if Riku found out he was in the DaiRiZu, he would know that Sora liked him and, consequently, that Sora had no courage to tell Riku himself. Not to mention that any kind thought for the DaiRiZu had died in Riku the moment they started picking on Kairi. He would lose Riku's regard, friendship, and respect in one fell swoop.

Then again, if Selphie started matchmaking, then Riku would definitely find out about Sora's feelings and things would definitely go badly – as much as the girl lived off romance novels, she wasn't very good at… well, anything romance related. It was a well-known fact that all of the relationships that Selphie tried to help along crashed and burned horribly from the very start.

In the end, Sora reluctantly supposed he should go along with the DaiRiZu plan. Riku may never find out about Sora's membership and even if he did, Sora was definitely skilled enough to hold off Riku's attacks long enough to explain that he had join solely to help Kairi find her bullies. He wasn't the Keyblade Master for nothing, after all.

He scratched the back of his head and had to give a chuckle at his own thoughts. A few months ago, Sora had been concerned over the wellbeing of the universe and all the worlds it contained. Now he was seriously considering his crush and all things high school to be the end all, be all of problems. Beforehand, he worried that he would never be able to see or talk to Riku ever again. And now… Now he was worried that Riku might get a little angry with him? Sora laughed.

It was kind of funny how life worked out. When it came down to it, he'd rather have Riku mad at him than not having Riku around at all. He'd rather be facing typical high school drama than wondering if he'd ever finish school at all. He felt silly for losing sight of what was really important all this time. Putting his current issues into perspective, he felt a lot better about things in general and was finally able to give Selphie a genuine smile.

"Okay," he said confidently, arms behind his head as he literally felt the funk surrounding him disappear, "you've got yourself a new DaiRiZu member." He thrust out his hand to shake on it.

The girl looked a little confused at Sora's seemingly random laughing and change of heart, but didn't dwell on those things for too long. She giggled, shook his hand enthusiastically, and immediately began sharing her plan of attack with her newest co-conspirator.

So. It's truly been a while. You all deserve the most heartfelt of apologies, but I'm sure you're very sick of them by now. There are tons of reasons for me not updating, but none really excuse me, and for that, I'm extremely sorry. Life gets in the way, as I'm sure you all know, but there are plenty of times where I've just been lazy and unmotivated; you all deserve better than that.

Good news is that there are about three or four chapters left to this story and I know the basic outlines for all of them. I've been on a writing spree lately and I've really been working hard to finish stories before I post any of them. I'm going to try my damnedest to get the next installment out for you as soon as possible and then I'll focus on my other stories. None of my works are abandoned, I PROMISE.

If you're still reading this little story, then I feel so grateful. I just hope someone out there is enjoying it - and I hope that this chapter keeps up the previous standard of characterization and writing style. Selphie wasn't really supposed to be such a huge part in this chapter and the whole discussion was not supposed to be emotional or deep in any way. It just kind of wrote itself like this, so I hope it reads alright to you guys.

Thank you for all the support and kind reviews. You guys make every excruciating word, every painful writer's block, every inspiration, every hour of writing worth it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Love,

a quirky little tune