Chapter Six
Recovery
Aayla was right. About two days into their journey, it was discovered that the ship needed minor repairs and refueling. The closest facility was the new fleet yards at Kalida-Shoals, also the Republic's main intensive surgical and recovery base during the Clone Wars, and it still was today, though very much less crowded. Anakin was reminded of the last time Ahsoka had been sent to Kalida-Shoals. He remembered the fact that he had to chase her for updates, only to find out that in the end, the Kaminoan medic's had forbidden her to talk to him for three days. Because Ahsoka's injuries weren't quite as severe this time around, only requiring a couple of hours submerged in a bacta tank, The Kaminoans seemed to be more agreeable to allowing Anakin to see his former Padawan, no doubt remembering the last time she'd been sent here and not wanting to have the same argument again. In fact, they had agreed to all his requests.
It had been two days since they had arrived, and just hours ago Barriss and Aayla had left, at the request of Master Unduli, who now also sat on the Council, to track down Ventress and those that had attacked the Jedi during their survey of Tygokor. In the time he'd been at the station, he spent his nights with Luke on their quarters aboard the Resolute. Obi-Wan had arrived only yesterday with his Padawan Whie, and had agreed to watch Luke during the day while Anakin stayed with Ahsoka, hoping she would at some point wake up, and soon. Today was no different. He walked down the hall towards Ahsoka's intensive care unit with Obi-Wan, leaving Luke in the capable hands of Whie.
"I still can't believe we let this happen, Master." Anakin said. He'd been sulking about Ahsoka's condition since they'd arrived.
"There was no way we could have known this would happen, Anakin. It was a destroyed planet, and intelligence had reported no one in the area just before Ahsoka dropped out of hyperspace to investigate. I should admit, though, that I was surprised to learn who was behind this." Obi-Wan replied.
"You know, I could have sworn she died that day, Obi-Wan. I don't know what it is with her, but she keeps finding ways to stay alive. Barriss checked in with me an hour ago. They still haven't found any leads."
"They'll find her. She can't hide forever, you know."
"I should have killed her days ago when I had the chance. I was too busy trying not to think about Ahsoka's injuries, and she used that to her advantage to get away."
"Well look at it this way, my former Padawan. You rescued Ahsoka, and she is here safe and sound. When she wakes up, you should tell her that she needs to rest." Obi-Wan told him.
"I'll tell her, but she's stiff headed so I doubt she'll take that advice." He replied.
"Reminds me of someone else I know. Now if you'll excuse me, I must return to my Padawan. It is time for his daily meditation and, like you, always tries to skip out of it. I'll come by later to check on you both." Obi-Wan said as they entered Ahsoka's unit. Anakin gave a curt nod, and they parted ways. About an hour later, Anakin was preparing to leave the room to check on Luke when he felt a stirring in the Force. It didn't take him long to realize that Ahsoka was waking up. He immediately turned around and all but sprinted to her bed. Instead of her waking up silently, she gasped, sat straight up, and as soon as he put a hand on her shoulder, started squirming to get out of his grip.
"Snips, it's OK…Ahsoka, stop…" Anakin tried, but she wasn't hearing him. Realizing there was only one way left to him to get her full attention, or at least enough of it so she'd stop squirming in fear, he took a deep breath.
"Padawan!" he said in an authoritative yet soothing tone. It worked, because she immediately stopped her squirming and snapped her head up to him. It took her only a few seconds after that to realize she wasn't captive anymore.
"Master…?" she asked, unsure of her surroundings. Anakin smiled, and put his free hand on her other shoulder.
"It's OK, you're safe." He told her. She relaxed, but didn't lie back down.
"It was Ventress, Master. She isn't dead. She…"
"I know, Snips. I saw her."
"You did?"
"I confronted her after rescuing you. She…well…got away. Again. But don't worry, Master Secura and Barriss are looking for her. They'll find her and hopefully bring her to justice."
"What about…"
"Luke is fine, Ahsoka. He's with Obi-Wan and Whie, practicing meditation." Anakin replied as Ahsoka swung her legs off the side of the bed.
"Like you, he couldn't meditate for ten minutes without making a fuss." She answered. Here she was, just waking up after recovering from being tortured, and already she was back to teasing him. That was all the indication he needed to know that she was back to normal, or as back to normal as she could get until they discussed what Ventress had done to her.
"Hey, I've gotten better since you've known me." Anakin said, then for the first time became aware of the medical droid that had been hovering over Ahsoka doing scans. His surprise caught her attention.
"If you've gotten better, then how come it took you this long to notice a droid? I wonder what Artoo would say to that."
"You don't give up, do you?" he asked, feigning annoyance.
"Now what would be the point in doing that?" she asked teasingly. Anakin smirked, then told her to stay put in that tone that she knew meant it would be a bad idea to disobey him while he spoke to the medical droid. A few moments later, he came back over to her to find that for once, she'd actually heeded his instructions.
"You actually followed my instructions. I'm impressed, Snips."
"I figured it'd be a bad idea not to. So how much longer am I stuck in here for?" she asked. She always was to the point.
"You're not."
"But I thought…"
"The medical droid wanted to keep you here a few more days for observation, but I know how much you hate being stuck doing nothing when there's no reason for it. Especially when you have a Padawan to train." Anakin told her.
"So…I'm free to walk out that door and shove the medical droid into the wall?" she asked.
"The leaving part, yes. I don't think it's a good idea to knock the droid into the wall, though. I hate medical droids as much as you do, but that wouldn't do anything for us, would it?"
"Aw, come on. It'd be fun. Just like old times!" she answered. Anakin simply glared at her in that way when, in situations similar to this one, he'd found her saying something that really shouldn't have been said.
"Ok, ok. I was only joking, Skyguy." She said, but not in the tone he'd expected. She still sounded a little off. Before they reached the door, Anakin put his organic hand on her shoulder. She knew what was coming. She just didn't expect him to get to it so fast. Instead, in an effort to delay the big question, she avoided facing him. Of course, Anakin never liked it when he was avoided, and usually huffed and stalked away in annoyance. This was different. This time, he knew why, and he wasn't going to have it. He gently turned her to face him, but she still insisted on avoiding his gaze.
"Ahsoka, look at me." He said in probably the softest tone she'd ever heard him use. She also realized that he was basically giving her an order, but it was the tone he'd used that made her look up at him. Her face was basically expressionless. It was as if she wasn't even there.
"I know what you're going through, Snips, more than you know. If you need to talk about it, I'm here." He told her.
"I know you want to help, Master, and I do want to talk about it. It's just that I'm…"
"You're not ready. I can understand that. However, just because you aren't ready now doesn't mean we're not going to talk about it. We'll give it a few days. After that, you need to tell me what happened. It's the only way you'll be able to start healing emotionally, just like we did when the war ended. I'm not going anywhere, Snips. Remember, if you ever fall, I'll always be there to catch you." he said, not removing his grip on her shoulders.
"Thanks, Master." She replied, and finally stopped fighting his grip to keep her from turning away from him. Anakin gave her his lopsided grin, which he usually reserved for when he had something mischievous planned, or for when he was teasing Obi-Wan.
"Come on, I know two people that'll be happy to see you up and about." Anakin said, leading her out of the room and keeping his arm loosely around her back in that way, when she was still a Padawan, made her feel safe from everything. It still had that same effect on her now as it did then. He'd learned years ago with the help of Shaak Ti, the only other surviving Togruta Jedi, that words never really did much to reassure Togrutans early in their adult life in times of need. Togrutans needed that physical contact from childhood throughout the early stages of their adult lives, sometimes into their 40's. With Ahsoka, it had always been different. Words usually did the job. There were still the few times where he'd needed to physically comfort her. The last time was just six months after she had been knighted. She had held it all in, all because she was trying to impress him. In the end, it had been Obi-Wan to convince her to talk to him. To be completely honest, had he known Ahsoka was having issues living at the Temple alone and basically by herself during the six months she had hidden it from him, he would have moved her out immediately. Still, that she came to him in the end, even if it was forced by Obi-Wan, meant something to him. It meant that she trusted him. So when she told him she was miserable at the Temple, Anakin wasn't about to let it continue. He'd let her come to live with him, Padmé, and the twins, and Padmé hadn't objected. She knew how much he cared for Ahsoka. In fact, he loved her like a sister, genetics be damned. Today wasn't any different. Of course, nothing was ever this peaceful between them for long. As soon as they left they left the room, they found Luke practically running towards them, with Whie and Obi-Wan not far behind.
'Here we go. I hope you're ready for this, because I don't think we're going to be getting out of this one' Anakin sent her.
"This is your fault, you know."
"My fault? What did I do?"
"Do I really need to spell it out for you, Skyguy?"
"Ok, point taken Snips. But if you need to leave, just…I don't know, send me a mental note or something and I'll get you out."
"You're joking, right? That must have been difficult for you to come up with." she answered smirking. Anakin only lightly punched her shoulder. That was all the fun they were able to have teasing each other, because Luke, Obi-Wan, and Whie were upon them.
"Dad!"
"Hey Luke, how you doing? You being good for Master Obi-Wan and Padawan Whie?" Anakin asked. Luke nodded, smiling. Anakin smirked.
"What, you're siding with him already? We just finished chasing him halfway across the facility!" Whie complained. Obi-Wan gave him a disapproving look, and he apologized.
"Yeah, they did chase me, but I wanted to see if you and Aunt Ahsoka were OK and they wouldn't let me." Luke said, basically giving himself up, as all children sometimes do.
"Looks like your Padawan needs a lesson in patience, Snips." Anakin said.
"In case you've forgotten, Anakin, his behavior reminds me of someone else who used to act just like him." Obi-Wan countered. Ahsoka couldn't keep herself from grinning like a teenager.
"This someone doesn't happen to be someone you know, does it?"
"As a matter of fact, yes. However, that is not the only reason we chased him here. I have a message for you from the Council." Obi-Wan answered. Anakin excused himself from the group, and followed Obi-Wan a few feet down the hall. When they returned, he wasn't looking too very happy. Moments later, he instructed Luke to go with Obi-Wan and Whie, and that he'd be along in a moment. He then turned to face Ahsoka.
"What did the Council want, Master?" she asked,
"They're recalling me to Coruscant. Since Aayla is with Barriss looking for Ventress, they need me to present our report personally. I need to leave in the morning. They also want you to stay here with Obi-Wan, Whie, and Luke. They feel you can use a couple of days rest. I don't like it anymore than you do, Snips, but catching Ventress is important and they need to know everything pertaining to my rescue mission as soon as possible. I know you still need to talk to me, and I know you aren't ready, but I promise when you are, I'll be here." He said, placing his hands on her shoulders for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. She nodded, smiling slightly. After a few moments more, they agreed to get some sleep.
A mere two hours passed before the ringer to the door to Anakin's room went off. Thinking it to be nothing, he rolled over onto his other side away from the door. A moment later, the ringer went off again, twice. He groaned inwardly, dragged himself out of bed, grabbed his night robe, and went to the door. When it opened, he found Ahsoka standing on the other side. Or at least what passed for Ahsoka. She looked tired, and she looked scared. That was enough to wake him up fully.
"You okay, Snips? It's nearly three in the morning." He told her.
"I couldn't sleep, Master." she admitted. Anakin let her in, the door closing behind her. He was about to offer her a seat when she sat down anyway. With nowhere else to sit, he sat next to her.
"Ventress?" he asked, though he was sure he already knew the answer. She simply nodded.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, trying not to sound like he was prying.
"I don't want to talk about it, Anakin. I think I have to though. I don't want to have these nightmares about it every time I try to sleep, and the only way to stop them is to talk about everything that happened." Ahsoka said. Anakin nodded, placing an arm around her. She proceeded to tell him everything. Throughout her explanations, Anakin had repeatedly paced the room so much that she suspected he was wearing a large hole in the carpeting. However, when she'd finished, Anakin finally realized that pacing the room angry wasn't going to help her, so he sat back down and calmed himself with the knowledge that she was here with him, safe and sound.
"I should've gone with you. None of this would have happened if I hadn't stayed behind." He told her.
"Come on, Skyguy. None of this is your fault." She told him.
"I know, but I still feel responsible for your well being, Ahsoka. I care too much not to." Anakin replied. And he really did. He loved her as much as he loved his wife, children, and Obi-Wan, and she knew that. Ahsoka smiled, but it seemed forced. Anakin became concerned again, and frowned. He had a bad feeling that she hadn't told him everything that was bothering her yet.
"There's more isn't there?" he asked, but it was a statement rather than a question.
"I've been having visions again, Master. Like the ones I had years ago when the war ended." She told him. Anakin's eyes widened in shock. She knew that meant he had realized exactly what she was talking about.
"Tell me." He replied, putting his arm back around her.
"It's confusing. Everything was the same. Only this time, the man in the black suit didn't feel like you. It was someone else. Master...it was Luke. He was in the suit. He killed us." She said, then closed her eyes shut, preparing for the inevitable outraged reply she was sure he would give her. Instead, he surprised her and brought her close.
"It's good that you saw that and came to me, Snips. I've been having very vague visions about Luke the last few days, but I never told anyone." He said
"Since when do you tell anyone anything about visions you're having?"
"Very funny. Anyway, now that we know what might happen in the future, we need to make sure it doesn't." he replied.
"And just how are we going to do that if we don't even know when this will happen, Master?" she asked, trying not to sound like she was teasing him.
"Well, we're going to have to be patient and wait for the Force to show us won't we?" He answered in his own teasing tone. She frowned, which told him that wasn't how she'd meant the question.
"Hey, look, we'll figure it out. We always do Ahsoka. Just count how many times we've gotten ourselves out of impossible situations alive without a scratch."
"Ha! Without a scratch. You're joking, right? Need I remind you of the wall on Geonosis, or for that matter crashing a ship at a spaceport on Coruscant?"
"Ok, the wall was my fault, and that wasn't even the whole ship I was flying. Besides it had the…well…you know on board and we couldn't exactly jump out the front window."
"Yeah, but still, without a scratch?"
"Alright, fine. You win. Now, I'd love to sit here and argue the statistics of the Clone Wars with you, but we both need our sleep and…" Anakin began, but trailed off when he noticed the distanced look he was getting. He asked her what was wrong.
"I don't want to go to sleep. I don't think I can. Can…can I stay here? Just for tonight?" she asked. Anakin closed his eyes. If she was this scared to sleep by herself, there was no way in Sith hell he was going to leave her alone with Luke, Obi-Wan and Whie for three days. The Council would just have to wait. He'd just tell them that the Force told him his Padawan needed him more than the Council needed his report. He'd deliver it via holo-comm in the morning. As he opened his eyes, he sighed.
"Alright, Snips. I won't tell you to leave. You can stay here if you want." He replied. They spoke for a few more minutes before going to sleep. Anakin on one side of the bed, Ahsoka the other, backs to each other. When Ahsoka awoke, Anakin wasn't there. For a moment, she was unsure of her surroundings until she remembered where she was. Then she remembered why Anakin wasn't here. He was returning to Coruscant to give his report to the Council. She suddenly felt alone. Sure, she had Obi-Wan, Luke, and Whie around, but it didn't stop her from wanting her Master around. She was still having trouble getting over her vision of Luke, and didn't trust anyone else to help her deal with it. Obi-Wan, if she asked him, would try to help, but he didn't have the experience with visions that Anakin had. After dragging herself out of bed, she went to the refresher for a shower. When she returned to the living area, she was surprised to find Anakin sitting at the only table in the room.
"Master? I thought you were going to Coruscant!" she asked
"I was going to, but you coming to my quarters at three in the morning told me it was a better idea to stay here." He replied.
"What about the Council?"
"Oh, the Council still got my report. They didn't like the fact that I didn't deliver it in person, but they understood why when I explained it to them."
"And exactly what excuse did you give them this time?"
"I told them that the Force was telling me that you needed my help more then the Council needed me to report to them in person."
"So…you stayed here for me?"
"I told you already that I wouldn't leave you, Snips, so here I am." That got him one of her smirks. Still, he knew something was off. He always knew.
"I'm going to take a guess and say you're still having trouble reconciling with what you saw in your vision last night before you came to see me. Am I right?"
"No…well, yes. I just can't see him doing anything like that. I mean he's just a kid, Anakin."
"I know. But what you saw was a vision of the future. If we add my vision to yours, then we know that it doesn't take place at least for another fifteen years or so. We'll just have to watch out for more signs from the Force. I'm not going to let this vision come true. And knowing you as I do, my old Padawan, neither will you. Don't worry, we'll figure it out, Snips." Anakin said. Ahsoka knew he was right. As a Padawan, she'd hated the fact that when she got into debates with him, he'd always end up being right. But now that Ahsoka wasn't a Padawan any longer and had a Padawan of her own, she had come to understand things better. She smiled then, really smiled.
"We always figure it out. Still, just because his last name is Skywalker doesn't mean it's going to be easy for us."
"You're just figuring this out now? Where've you been the last seven years?" he asked teasingly. Even after she was knighted and he himself was promoted to the Mastery, he still enjoyed teasing his old Padawan. Some things never changed.
"Learning from you, Master. Except, of course, about crashing ships and almost getting us killed." She replied, not bothering to try hiding the smirk on her face.
"Now hold on, that mission to Kessel wasn't that hard."
"Oh, so the ship just magically blew up, we landed our ejection pods in the middle of a pack of Gundarks, and you somehow in all of this lost your lightsaber?"
"I didn't lose my lightsaber, I left it on the cruiser, remember?" he replied. He hated it when she reminded him of that mission and she knew it. It was one of the easiest ways to get on Anakin's nerves.
"Yeah, you left it there, and I had to do all the work, not to mention saving your skin from almost getting killed."
"Alright, so you saved me once. I did the same for Obi-Wan about 20 times already."
"Nineteen, Master. Obi-Wan keeps saying Cato Neimoidia doesn't count and I agree with him, and I've saved you a few times myself. Last time you were stuck in a cell on Vjun, remember?"
"Ugh…you two are never going to let me forget that, are you?" he asked, clearly annoyed at this point.
"Nope. Besides, its fun to remind you of these things."
"Yeah, fun for you, Snips. Not for me."
"That's why it's fun, Skyguy." She replied. Anakin merely rolled his eyes and snorted. Even though he gave the appearance of a good mood, he wasn't actually in one. It took Ahsoka a mere few seconds to realize why. Today was the day almost seven years ago that Anakin nearly fell and caused the destruction of both the Jedi and the Republic. He had forgiven himself for his actions, as had the Jedi, the Senate, and most of all, those he considered family, but he had never been able to let go of the guilt completely. After seven years, he still could conceal it from just about everyone he knew, even Obi-Wan. The one person who was always able to see past it all other than Padmé was Ahsoka. He could never figure out how she always seemed to know, and he's tried to without asking her directly. Before he could ask, she confronted him like she always did.
"It's today, isn't it? When the Order almost fell?" she asked. She didn't really have to, but felt the need to do so because she knew it helped him to speak about it if only for a moment.
"Yeah. Today's the day." He replied. Ahsoka put a hand on his shoulder, and he smiled, at least a little.
"I still miss him." She said, removing the hand from his shoulder after a moment. Anakin knew exactly who she meant. She hadn't spoken of Master Plo in a long time. Almost five years. He figured it was good for her to at least remember him somehow. Anakin, for the fifth time that day, put his arm around her.
"I know. He'd be proud of you, you know. Out of all the Masters on the Council, he never had anything bad to say about you." Anakin answered.
"He's the one who brought me to the Temple, Skyguy. He was probably the closest thing to a father I ever knew, except for you. I think the only reason his death was easier on me was because I still had you. You, Padmé, the twins, Obi-Wan, you're all the closest thing I have to a family. Honestly, if he were still alive, I don't think there's anyone else I'd rather be staying with than your family. I feel at home there." She replied. Anakin smirked. He didn't want to, even tried not to, but he couldn't stop it, and Ahsoka caught it.
"Sorry, Snips. It's just this is probably the first time you've given me more than one compliment in one speech." He said.
"Don't get used to it, it won't be happening very often." She teased.
'Yeah, she's back to normal." He thought, and knew that she would fine after today. Sure, there would be little bumps in the road that would remind her of this mission, but he would be there to help her, he always was.
"Do you miss them?" she asked. It was the first time she'd been able to work up the guts to ask him.
"Sidious killed almost all the Jedi, and I helped him do it, so no I don't miss any of them. Do you really think that little of me to assume I don't miss all the friends I made in the Order who are gone now?" he replied. The hurt expression on her face told him she hadn't meant for him to react that way. And she was right. She had only asked if he missed his long gone friends. And he'd just blown up in her face. Then she snapped right back at him, the hurt evident in her voice.
"I lost friends too, Anakin! I lost the one person I considered a father, and you think I don't care?" she wanted to get up and storm out the door like a child, but before she could take even two steps, Anakin grabbed her arm and pulled her back.
"Ahsoka, wait. I didn't mean to say that. I just…I haven't talked about it with anyone in years and I guess I just needed someone to blow up at. I didn't expect you to be that person. I'm sorry." he said. She knew he meant the apology, and could sense his explanation was true. He was right, it had been years since he'd spoken about it.
"It's my fault, Master. I shouldn't have asked."
"No hold on, Snips. It's not your fault. If it's anyone's fault it's mine. I'm the one who blew up at you when all you wanted was to help. Now to answer your question, yes, I do miss them. But I'm still glad I have the people I love and care about with me, including you." He replied. She looked up and smiled.
Yes, I know, I promised faster updates! My excuse this time? Well, real life for one (being my job, the holidays and whatnot), writers block (and plenty of it), and some personal issues that came up in the past couple of months that had me down and not wanting to write. But no fear, I have yet to give up. I still got a couple of ideas for this story, and am coming up with a few sketchy but sound ideas for a different AU story for Star Wars dealing with Anakin and Ahsoka. All i will say is it'll be based on a relationship between Anakin and his Padawan, set a few weeks prior to ROTS and ending at the end of ROTS. No, I am NOT giving out clues as to what will happen, you will have to actually READ the story to find out. Oh and one more thing, in the Anakin/Ahsoka fic, Anakin never fell in love with Padme. Don't get me wrong, I love the Anakin/Padme relationship, but I also like the Anakin Ahsoka relationship stories (my favorite so far being the series Beacons of the Ancients comes from, and for the life of me I can't remember who the author is) I've read on here so I decided to give it a shot. Anyway, more chapters as I write them. have fun, enjoy and please review!