from skybluescramble:
thank you, Irrevocable Truth, my proofreader!
yes, my English isn't very good and I just too lazy to read a freshly-written chapter again, so I didn't notice if I use a phrase or a word too much -_-
to my reviewers, I really thank you for all the love (:
cheng, tvxqmusik, Shanaa12, tomoyo-amethyst, Seirin, krazypig91, SnowCharms, winterkaguya, chiharu-tanaka, cainat06, KiNoMoTo18, B.A.K11, violintantei-sama, Krissy, Michiiyu, and Paulita. and… everyone who read and decided to like my fic :D
here's the update!
PS: some things are better left unsaid ~
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DISCLAIMER
CLAMP owns Card Captor Sakura :D
Period.
::The Proposal::
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SUMMARY:.
What was 'normal'… before all of this happened? Tomoyo wondered.
.
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CHAPTER #15: The Beginning or The End?
THE ATMOSPHERE in his dining room was so grey. There were only small clattering sounds of eating utensils; no one wanted to start a chat. The beef stroganoff made by Tomoyo was undoubtedly delicious, but a nice supper didn't seem good enough to bring their mood up. Even Nakuru was only bowing low while munching her dinner like a pet that wasn't fed for years. They were still in grief, weren't they?
"Thanks for the meal." Eriol initiated speaking, putting down his fork. "You are a great cook, Tomoyo. Time doesn't change it."
The raven haired female smiled at his praise. "Thank you."
But she didn't blush.
"Can I have some more…?" pleaded Nakuru, bringing her plate up while putting her most pitiful face.
Still smiling, Tomoyo rose from her chair. "Of course. You want a change, too, Eriol?
Nakuru couldn't help but smile at this. Finally, they are in the first name basis…
"Is it okay?" Eriol asked her back.
"Ng," she nodded. "There's still some left in the kitchen. I'll be glad if I don't have to throw them away.."
"Then put all of them in my plate, please!" Nakuru suddenly sounded energetic.
Tomoyo turned to her direction. "It's okay. I'll put most of it in yours, Nakuru-chan."
"Yeeeeeeey!"
TOMOYO was busy cleaning up when Eriol entered the kitchen. At first she jumped in surprise, but after recognizing who was coming, she instantly relaxed.
"Thanks," said Eriol.
"I didn't do anything."
"The two cheered up again. It was because of you." He slowly approached her, leaning his back against the kitchen counter and watching her back asshe was washing the dishes. "Nakuru loves your cooking."
"Really?"
"…and so do I."
The last part left her speechless. She also noticed his sharp gaze on her back, observing every single movement she made. Suddenly the kitchen became hot as Tomoyo perspired uncontrollably.
Why on earth was she getting nervous?
"I'm going to cool down the heater," Tomoyo quickly put the napkin on the table and walked away, but Eriol caught her wrist. And in a swift motion, he was already embracing her from behind, his strong arms around her neck.
Tomoyo froze in her place. She would never, never, be able to react in such circumstances.
"Sorry," he muttered an apology. "I don't know what's got into me."
Gently, she unfolded his arm from her neck. She turned around and looked at him in the eye, her heartbeat accelerated to an amazing speed as her amethysts met with those indigos of his. "No need to apologize."
She gave him a pure, angelic smile.
That night, Tomoyo didn't go home.
She accompanied Spinel and Nakuru. They talked about many topics; movies, celebrities, fashions, gossips, sweet stuffs, etc., and Eriol was sitting at a distance, busy reading books and occasionally taking a sip from his cup of brown coffee. He let her stay, because he knew that right now Nakuru, Spinel, Tomoyo and himself, simply needed each others' presence. When thenight grew late, he instructed Nakuru to share the bed with Tomoyo.
"Why don't you want her to sleep with you? It's just a sleepover, anyway," was the Moon Guardian's blatant answer. "I want to sleep as a big star tonight. I will take all the space in my bed alone!"
And "No," was his curt response. "I'm not asking for your agreement."
It was so tempting.
Really.
Imagining a young Daidouji in his bed, even though it was only sleeping and had nothing to do with intimate things was… strong enough to make Eriol need a very cold shower. He was depressed for being unable to protect Mika and she was down after losing a baby in her very first pregnancy—although in the beginning it was an undesirable one. The image of them clinging to each other, seeking warmth was a pain for Eriol. He knew he couldn't take advantage of the situation.
He needed her, of course.
He wanted to sooth her sadness away.
He confessed that he loved her.
He ripped apart their contract.
Eriol just had to go to his attorney, order him to cancel that shitty agreement and all would be well.
But somehow… it wasn't right.
Daidouji Tomoyo still had not said anything back. True, the way she acted whenever he was around had changed significantly, but Eriol didn't dare having too many expectations. She was totally unreadable and that created problems.
"Give her one of your nightgowns or pajamas to sleep in."
With that last command, Eriol left Nakuru, striding back to his own bedroom.
ALMOST a month passed without notice. Tomoyo was now carefully reading the vacancy magazine everyday, searching for some advertisements that were good enough to catch her attention. Of course she did that behind Eriol's back, because he got into a very, very bad mood since three days ago, after finding out that Tomoyo was planning to get a job.
Geez.
She could never really understand that Londoner.
Until now, Eriol was still taking care of her. He often picked her up to go to his manor, called her just to ask what she was doing or other trivial stuffs, and—this was the weirdest thing among all—that powerful magician treated her like a lady, lately. Not that he was a barbaric human before, but this small change surprised her, a bit. The new Eriol never missed to pull her chair every night they ate dinner together with Nakuru and Spinel. He also helped her pick up the dishes and eating utensils they used and carried them to the kitchen. Then, while she washed them in the sink, Eriol made some tea. When everything was done, they would go back to the living room only to find Nakuru and Spinel had already gone to bed. So they would spent the night together, chatting about random topics. Tomoyo liked listening to his previous life's story and Eriol loved it when Tomoyo spoke up her opinion for several heavy matters, such as politics, health, poverty, even magic. Usually they wouldn't stop till dawn.
She didn't like to admit this fact, but they were getting along better. She knew they were enjoying each other's presence.
Was that what they felt deep down in their heart?
Or was it just their way to shush away the sorrow and loneliness they bear?
What about the deal they made?
True, he had ripped apart his contract last month. But Tomoyo still had hers. And undoubtedly, Mr. Kirishima did as well. The Agreement still had its power. However, she didn't have any courage to talk about this sensitive subject. Not because she was afraid Eriol would lose his temper, no. It was because…
She didn't want to.
"Hold on," muttered Tomoyo to herself, waking up from her own thoughts. "What the hell am I thinking?"
Getting up on her feet, Tomoyo walked to the fridge. She poured a glass of water, drinking it slowly between sighs, and she realized that the mug she was using was a gift from Sakura, on White Day two years ago. It had a cute teddy bear painted on its surface.
Sakura.
Oh yeah, Tomoyo remembered. She had not gotten married to Syaoran. As a matter of fact, they were still in Tomoeda. Tomoyo didn't know what exactly Sakura told Syaoran about the circumstances between her and Eriol, but it seemed that the killing aura that always surrounded Syaoran everytime he saw the Clow's incarnation slowly faded away. He still had a cold war between Eriol, of course, but his attitude had changed. Syaoran even—reluctantly—nodded his head as a reply to Eriol's casual greeting when they met. Safe. World War III was never going to happen.
Riiiing! Riiing!
That sound brought her back into reality. Tomoyo frantically searched her own body, looking for her cellphone. Not found.
Whacking her forehead hard, Tomoyo dashed back to her room. With a wave of an arm, she swept away all random things scattered on her bed, revealing her cellphone beneath, ringing loudly.
Tomoyo flicked it open. Unknown number. With a foreign country's code in front of the caller's number.
"Hello? Daidouji speaking."
"Miss Tomoyo?"
Her eyes narrowed. She didn't know that voice.
"Yes…?"
YOU MUST DO THIS, DAIDOUJI!
Repeating that sentence over and over again inside her head, Tomoyo struggled not to forget her intention for coming here. Gosh, since when did Hiiragizawa manor become this homey? Guess she was now too familiar with him around.
"Mr. Kirishima will be here soon," Eriol said, snapping his phone closed. "He called me just then, saying that he was trapped in a traffic jam."
"Oh."
"Here's your lemon tea!" Nakuru appeared from the kitchen, carrying a big jug of iced lemon tea and a plate of sliced pound cake. "I didn't expect you to come, Tomoyo-chan! Usually Eriol is the one who picks you up!" she slouched down casually on the sofa, grinning widely. "What brings you here?"
Tomoyo found herself having difficulties answering this question.
"Nakuru, go to a bookstore," Eriol abruptly cut their conversation. "Bring Spinel also, I need you to buy me these books." He gave her quite along list of book titles and the authors (Tomoyo was a hundred percent sure that he didn't have that list before; perhaps he just made it come out from nowhere).
"Why is it I feel that you deliberately want to shoo me away?" Nakuru protested.
Eriol smiled and said in his final tone, "Just go."
Pouting, Nakuru got off from the sofa and left them.
Fifteen minutes later, Kirishima's car parked in front of Hiiragizawa manor's front yard. Tomoyo stood up, but Eriol said, "No. You wait here, I'll meet him first. You are my guest after all."
"Good afternoon, Young Lady." Kirishima greeted her politely. "How are you doing?"
"Good afternoon, Sir." Tomoyo took his hand. "I'm doing great, thanks."
"Please take your seat." Eriol gestured.
He poured some lemon tea into three cups and distributed them to Tomoyo and his attorney before leaning back against the sofa, legs crossed. "As I said before," he started, "we're here because of Tomoyo's request." Then he looked at the young Daidouji, "What do you want to say, Tomoyo? We're all ears."
She took a deep breath. "I want to make this clear."
Eriol was confused. "This what?"
"The deal," she answered, pulling out a bundle of paper from her tote bag. "Since the circumstances have changed, I want to know what we shall do about this."
Hiiragizawa Eriol was taken aback. He didn't expect Tomoyo would be the one to pick out the contract as a matter between them—not after everything they had been through.
"Are you sure…?" He asked her carefully.
"Yes." There was determination shining in her amethyst irises. "Let me put an end to this damn thing, Eriol. I'm just… so tired."
He felt a pang of pain clutching his chest.
Did she hate him?
Did she feel sick of his presence?
Did she want to let go of the one and only string that attached them both?
And most of it… why did he feel so empty all of a sudden?
Was it because of his love for her? Or was it because he thought she didn't have mutual feelings towards him?
Both, probably.
"Alright," Eriol swallowed hard, forcing his mind to focus. "Let's discuss it together."
Tomoyo glanced at him from the corner of her eye. Her facial expression which usually glowed with its radiance seemed to dim. She recalled yesterday's event, when out of the blue her mother's assistant called her cellphone. Yes, the caller was Kuniaki Nozomi, Sonomi's right hand when she was still alive and leading Daidouji Toy Company. Since Tomoyo left Daidouji mansion for her own ego, the company was in Kuniaki's hand. She was a trustworthy person, so Tomoyo didn't have to worry at all. Everything went so smoothly and without fail; Tomoyo received Kuniaki's report of responsibility regularly—once a semester. That was why she couldn't help not to wonder about the reason behind her call.
Sonomi's diary.
That was the reason.
Kuniaki confessed that she accidentally found Sonomi's diary while cleaning the office room. Practically it was only a plain notebook that was used as a diary, no wonder it still remained there. It could be that the notebook was mistaken as a usual transaction note by the cleaning staffs when they removed all Sonomi's personal belongings from the office and sent them back to Daidouji's mansion.
Kuniaki also said… in the last page with her handwriting, Sonomi wrote that she wanted Tomoyo to inherit the company and fill her role as a president.
"I told you that I don't want to," was Tomoyo's answer. "And I told her as well when I graduated high school. I have my own dream to make a clothing line; however I want to start it from zero, with my own efforts."
"I understand it very well, Miss Tomoyo," Kuniaki replied. "Forgive me for being rude, but I just want to tell you what I found out."
There was a gap of silence. Then…
"Kuniaki-san," she called.
"Yes, Miss Tomoyo?"
"Now you're in America, right?"
And Tomoyo couldn't remember exactly how their conversation continued, but after an hour or so, she finally agreed to see Kuniaki in America. She perhaps would lead the company as her mother had wished. Perhaps. Tomoyo still wasn't sure either, but she knew one thing: she had to move on. She couldn't be gloomy and pathetic forever, right? Mika in heaven wouldn't be happy seeing her like that. Staying abroad for a while could be a good refresher for her.
That way, she could also be free from the sight of…
"Daidouji-san? You're spacing out."
The sound of Kirishima's voice slapped her back into sense. "Ng? I—I'm sorry."
"Are you alright?" Eriol asked. He sounded worried.
…of this man.
"Yeah," Tomoyo blinked. "Yeah. I'm fine. Let's continue."
HIIRAGIZAWA manor. 05:13pm.
"With this, both of you will cut all ties that relate to the former agreement," Kirishima said, explaining to Eriol and Tomoyo, who nodded her head in understanding (the Sorcerer gave no response, even in the slightest). "By the time this meeting's over, the status between Miss Daidouji and Mr. Hiiragizawa will revert back to normal."
"Back to normal…?" Tomoyo parroted.
"Yes."
But what was 'normal'… before all of this happened?
"Do we need to sign?" Eriol asked in a flat tone. Tomoyo looked up to see his face, but he put on a perfect mask this time. She couldn't even guess what he was thinking. It felt unfair how he could always see through her like an open book, but on the other hand she still had difficulties in grasping his way of thinking.
"Yes," Kirishima pushed the original copy of the deal to Eriol. "I wrote everything in this document. Please write your signature on the last page."
Tomoyo watched closely as Eriol pulled out a ballpoint from his pocket. He sighed, reading over lines that were written in the last part of their contract, and, after spending the whole ten minutes in silence, he scribbled his name. "Done."
"Ng." Tomoyo nodded in response, receiving the document from him. Her heart unpredictably ached seeing his signature and her eyes suddenly felt hot. Don't cry, don't cry, Daidouji! Tomoyo said to herself mentally. She wouldn't be able to move on if she didn't go through this matter.
Closing her eyes, she inhaled a long, deep breath before grabbing her own pen.
WALKING her way down to the nearest station, Tomoyo recalled a quick conversation she and Eriol had after Mr. Kirishima's leaving. She sat silently back then, staring blankly against the wall as though she had just woken up from a long dream.
It's finally over…
"What will you do onwards?" Eriol's question startled her.
"Eh?"
"I asked about your plan from now."
Tomoyo shrugged. "Not really sure… but I suppose I'll go to America. My mother left me things to do there."
"When?"
"As soon as possible," she smiled. "After telling Sakura about this, I'll take my flight." She went silent for a moment, then asked, "What about you, Eriol?"
"Me?" he chuckled. "Don't bother to ask. I always have my plan unrevealed."
Tomoyo couldn't help but laugh as well. "Typical."
"You've got me."
Letting out a sigh, Tomoyo stood up, grabbing her bag and straightening her knee-length pastel-colored pleats skirt. She then turned her back to face the Sorcerer's figure; their eyes met. She could tell how intense those irises stared back against hers, telling things that were unwell-spoken between them.
"Let's not meet again," Tomoyo said, still smiling brightly. "It will be hard for me to go."
Eriol said nothing.
"So please, don't come to see me again. Guess I'm used to feeling your presence around me too much."
She laughed saying this, but Eriol could tell that she was fighting hard to hold back the tears.
"Tomoyo." Her name sounded beautiful in his voice.
"Yes?"
"Take care."
She nodded cheerily. "Thank you. I'm heading home now."
"Let me drive you home." Eriol said automatically, picking up his car key from a small wooden table. He was ready to take a step forward when he saw the young Daidouji shake her head.
"No, thanks," she declined politely. "I'll just take the train."
Then, without further words, Tomoyo left.
And it was the end of her flashback.
TOMOYO walked in jumpy steps, kicking some pebbles in the process as she headed to the nearest train station. It had been a while since the last time she went somewhere by public transportation, as a matter of fact. For the last few months Eriol always took her here and there, and she missed the pleasure she got from walking: the sight of kids playing in a small park, busy people making their way while talking on their phone, stray cats and dogs running around, the smell of open air, everything.
She would restart her life from now on.
Inhaling as much oxygen into her lungs, Tomoyo wiped the tears pooled in her eyes with the back of her right hand.
.
to be continued.