It was the day of the McFistival of Pride parade. 30 Seconds to Math was going to perform in the parade and while Randy normally doesn't care much for the parade itself, he wanted to be there for Howard. He also did enjoy parades himself, even this one centered around McFist. Festivals were common in Japan like the Gion Matsuri, which lasts a whole month, and the Sanja Festival which celebrates the three men who founded the Senso-ji temple.

Randy can remember when his father would take him to the Kyoto Gion Matsuri when he lived in Japan in the last 1100s. It was his favorite festival to go to but after they left Japan, festivals like that were common anymore and they were as lively. Some of the ones that he had seen here were amazing but he wished to see them back in Japan once more.

"The McFistival of Pride parade, the crown jewel of the Norrisville parade season. And when we shred all over the school float..."

'It's gonna melt everyone's faces off," Howard finished. "Norrisville, are you ready for..."

"30 seconds to Math!" Randy and Howard played heavy metal music on their drum set and keytar.

No one looked at them as the student continued to paint the large carp float. "They aren't ready, none of them. Not Heidi, not Bash, not Stevens."

"Not Bagel."

"Definitely not Bagel.' Randy shook his head and then looked at Howard to make sure he heard that name correctly. "Who is Bagel?"

Howard rolled his eyes and then said, "Are you kidding me? Ranginald Bagel, the most annoying kid in school. Think's he's a standup comedian."

"Morgan, stop me if you've heard this one." (RIP Gilbert Gottfried. Voice of Ranginald Bagel and Iago from Aladdin.)

"Stop."

"Why can't a sunken ship be in a parade? 'Cause it won't stay afloat! Get it? Afloat!" Ranginald Bagel laughed maniacally at his own joke as if he was the funniest person alive.

"That kid's name is not Ranginald Bagel. Trust me, I've heard tons of weird names and some that are so outlandish that you wouldn't even believe me. However, no one's name is Ranginald Bagel," Randy told Howard still in disbelief that this kid could be named Ranginald Bagel.

"I'm Ranginald Bagel! You've been great!" Everyone just looked at Ranginald Bagel annoyed with his jokes. "Now, if you'll all excuse me, I've gotta take five to make two, if you know what I mean." No one answered him everyone just looked annoyed as they continued to work on the carp float. "What I mean is, I gotta take a poop."

Annoyed with him, Morgan told him, "Ranginald, just go."

"Good night, everybody!" Ranginald ran inside the school leaving everyone annoyed at him as they continued to work on the float.

"Wow, this is bad," Randy said knowing he screwed up.

"Oh, wait till he does his cafeteria bit. Twenty minutes on how chili isn't cold!" Howard complained but Randy knew it wasn't that.

"No, I mean, remember when we were bro-snatched by that swamp wizard Catfish Booray?

Randy could remember Catfish Booray just as he could anyone who terrified him. Heck, he even remembered when he briefly fought Gunmar and that was centuries ago.

Catfish was a man with a purple hat, red beard, and hair with no shirt, a purple camo sleeveless jacket, blueish-green overalls, boots with bandages on them, and around his neck was a small green bag. He was also wearing fingerless gloves and buttoned bracelets. 'Oh, boy.' Randy thought to himself once he saw the man's eyes glow an eerie purple. He even had a scar over his right eye.

"How're you doin' over there, partner?" He asked kindly. "My name's Catfish."

"Hello, Catfish. My name's Ran... ginald Bagel. Ranginald Bagel, that's me," Randy told him nervously.

Randy finished explaining why he thought the name Ranginald Bagel was fake. Randy felt completely guilty about what happened. Not only has Catfish seen his face but he's also seen him transform into the Ninja.

"So, he thinks your name is Ranginald Bagel, so what?"

"So, Bootay saw me transform into you know who."

Howard was silent for a minute then he asked, "Who?"

Randy looked at him annoyed. "The Ninja." Howard hummed still not getting what Randy was implying. "He thinks Ranginald Bagel is the Ninja." Randy put his hand on his face and knew he had to take care of the mess that he made. "I've gotta go to the swamp and set him straight."

Randy was about to leave but Howard grabbed his arm to stop him. "I'll admit, sometimes, you wonk everything up, but this one, I think we're good." Randy looked at Howard a bit annoyed as he was talking. "No way it's coming back to eat our cheese."

Randy looked down to the ground and thought for a moment. "I guess but..."

"But nothing. It's not like Booray and McFist will be in the same room one day."

"Yeah, I mean, it does sound ridiculous. Booray and Mcfist in the same place at the same time." Randy chuckles to himself.

In the swamps of Norrisville, there was a famous seafood restaurant that Viceroy normally went to and he just so happened to encounter a voodoo witch doctor. "I was just enjoying my all-you-can-eat crawdads the other day when I overheard Mr. Booray here making a rather convincing case how..."

"I know who the Ninja be." McFist was sitting across from Booray eating crawdads like no tomorrow. He was not paying attention to what Booray was saying. "That skinny mullet done sliced up my gris-gris." Booray showed the small green bag of his gris-gris and McFist paid him no mind.

"Mm, these lobsters are great, Viceroy. Don't know why they make them so small but I like 'em!" McFist put another crawdad in his mouth and just sucked on it as Viceroy told him, "Sir, we took two canoes and a fan boat to get down here. Isn't there something you wanted to ask?"

McFist looked at Viceroy and then cleared his throat. "Yes. Do these come with hush puppies?" McFist held up another crawdad to Booray.

"Oh, I'm awful glad you asked that, Mr. Robot Hand. You know them hush puppies, they don't come with it. They're an extra charge. But they're worth it." Booray chuckled.

Viceroy sighed. "Something besides hush puppies."

McFist spat out the crawdad in his mouth as he remember why they were talking with Booray. "Right. So who's the Ninja?"

"You bring what I asked for?" Booray asked Viceroy. Viceroy scoffed and pulled out a McFistPad. "Oof, McFistPad!" Booray tried to grab it but Viceroy pulled it away and Booray crashed onto the floor. "Ha! This the new one, right?"

Annoyed, McFist shouted, "Of course, it's the new one! Now tell us who the Ninja is!" McFist, in anger, slammed his fist onto the table, causing all the crawdads to spill on the table and floor.

"The Ninja be... Ranginald Bagel!" Booray started to cackle maniacally as he grabbed the McFistPad from Viceroy's hand and ran off on his fan boat.

"Right! I'm in! Viceroy, bring me the head of Ranginald Bagel. Also, wanna go halfsers on another bucket?"

Back at NHS, Randy and Howard were laughing but Randy was still unsure. He's been around long enough to know that he should always expect the unexpected.

"Dude, I can't believe you almost skipped the parade to prevent something that could never happen."

"I know it's ridiculous."

"You still want to go, do you?"

"What, no... I want to go to the parade. The parade is probably one of the few things I will frequent here in Norrisville since it started. It reminds me of the festivals I use to go to in Japan with my dad. Besides, what's the worse that could happen?" The Nomicon started to glow in Randy's jacket getting his attention.

"Seriously, how's that book going to wonk our cheese now?"

"One, the Nomicon does not wonk our cheese, secondly, you never know what my master wants. Who knows, maybe he wants to congratulate me for keeping myself out of trouble or maybe tell me that we won't train this week or even that I've been doing well with my Ninja duties this week?"

Randy went to the nearby bushes to shloomp into then opened the Nomicon and slammed into the tree.

Randy was falling into the Nomicon where he could see hundreds of Japanese words flying by him. A samurai head opened his mouth and Randy soon found himself on a yellow lily pad sitting cross-legged. "What the juice?" Randy looked around confused but also impressed. The riverbed he was on reminded on of the rivers from his home in Japan.

The river took Randy to a drawing of a Ninja absentmindedly sniffing a flower. Randy soon saw four warriors coming at it. Randy gasped knowing that the unsuspecting Ninja was about to be attacked. Before the attack happened, a scroll appeared. It unraveled and said, "The Ninja who looks the other way fails to see the Attack." Randy read off. "Got it, Master. If there's an attack, I'll keep my eyes open. Besides, you told me to expect the unexpected, and sure, Booray could possibly be in the same room as McFist but the chances of that happening aren't high. Also, you said I should be able to enjoy myself once in a while, now, I've got a parade to get to." The lily pad ride took Randy across the bridge and Randy looked around for a way out. "So, how am I getting out of here this time? A dip in the water or..." The lily pad closed up sending him out of the Nomicon.

Randy came out of the bushes and told Howard who looked annoyed that Randy left. "My master said that we're all good."

"Wow, that's a load off," He said sarcastically. Howard then rushed towards Randy and said, "Now let's deal with something important. Serpentine or Reverse Upstairs-Downstairs Hurricane," Howard waved like a snake first then he put two fists in the air and twirled around. "Why give the crowd half a show? Do both." They fist-bumped each other and were ready for their performance for the parade. A screaming crowd took them out of their thoughts as everyone who was working on the carp float came rushing toward them in a panic. They were crushed into the stairs but were otherwise unharmed.

A robot knight with an axe picked up Bucky and asked, "Where is Ranginald Bagel?"

"He went to the lavatory." The robot-knight threw Bucky into the nearby trees then the robot jumped over Randy and Howard, destroyed the front of the school, and ran in to get Ranginald Bagel.

Randy gasped and was about to run into the school but Howard grabbed him before he could run off. "You're gonna Ninja-out aren't you?"

"It'll be fine. We don't perform till 3:30. And by my watch, it's only Ninja o'clock." Randy pulled out his mask from his jacket. "I'll meet you on the float." Randy ran off to help Ranginald Bagel leaving Howard alone. "No!"

"Don't forget my Keytar!" Howard groaned in annoyance as Randy ran off once again.

In downtown Norrisville, the parade was underway and McFist's family was on thrones on their own float. Bash popped a balloon on his crown. Bash laughed at his success. "I popped it!"

Marcy chuckled at his son's happiness while McFist was annoyed at his stepson. He took the torn balloon off his face. He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I hate this."

"Oh, don't be such a Grumpy Gabe. Show everyone that big smile of yours," Marcy told her husband as she tugged his robot arm.

Viceroy came up to him and with a big grin, said, "Operation sliced Bagel proceeding according to plan." He showed McFist a camera showing the destruction of the school searching for Ranginald Bagel.

McFist snickered at the thought of finally destroying the Ninja. "Oh, now that's my happy Hanny."

That happy attitude was ruined after Bash popped a red balloon and a larger piece fell onto of McFist's head. "Yeah!" Bash chuckled in amusement at being able to pop balloons and annoy McFist.

The janitor was carrying a bucket of water to his office. Randy kicked down the door, scaring the janitor. Randy didn't have time to apologize to him as he needed to fix his mistake.

Another robo knight came destroyed a wall as it came into the school. "Destroy Ranginald Bagel!"

"Ninja Tripping Balls!" Randy threw his ninja-tripping balls causing the robo knight to lose his balance. Randy ran at the robot and kick it hard enough to break a wall and land on the ground outside of the school. It scared Howard who saw the robot fall. The robot appeared unharmed as it got back up with no scratches. "Destroy Ranginald Bagel!" The robot ran back into the school and Howard groaned in annoyance. 'Great, Cunningham will be late. Again!" Then Howard left for the parade with his drums and Randy's keytar.

In the bathroom, Ranginald is making jokes in the mirror while using a toilet paper roll as a microphone. "... and he said..." The door slammed open and Randy came in but he slipped and crashed into the call. "Ninja, Great to see you in the second-floor bathroom." Ranginald helped Randy back on his feet but instead of checking on the Ninja, Ranginald just continued to make jokes. "Here's one for you: when is a Ninja good at sticking things on a wall."

Randy rolled his eyes and put Ranginald's finger to his mouth. "No time. Now, don't panic, a robot wants to destroy you because he thinks you're me." More robots came running towards the school as Randy and Ranginald were looking out the window. "Make that "robots"."

Ranginald just blinked at Randy then said, "When you a tack! Get it?" Randy face palmed himself at Ranginald's reaction. "A tack!" Ranginald laughed at his own joke as Randy walked away to take a breather.

'Seriously, this is how he reacts to someone trying to kill him. I don't know whether to be impressed by him or annoyed at his stupidity.'

"I'm sorry, what now?" Randy nearly ground his teeth.

'Yeah, definitely not scared out of stupidity.' Randy rushed toward Ranginald and shouted, "A killer robot is coming to get you!"

The door was knocked down and multiple robots were outside ready to kill Ranginald. "Destroy Ranginald Bagel!"

Once Ranginald realized the severity of the situation he tried to hide in the bathroom. "You've been great, everybody! Good night!"

Before Ranginald could hide in the bathroom stall, Randy stopped him hoping his plan could work. "No wait, check it. Ninja, Ranginald Bagel, same place, same time. Not the same person. Call of the attack."

The robot didn't acknowledge him and just continued with his mission. "Destroy Ranginald Bagel!" The robot attacked the duo with his ax but Randy grabbed Ranginald and went against the wall then Randy jumped at the stall then kicked the robot at one of the urinals destroying it and the robot. Water leaked out and the face of the robot was completely gone.

"Maybe it doesn't appreciate comedy." Before the robot could explode, Randy jumped out the window and used his scarf to swing himself and Ranginald to a nearby tree. Ranginald screamed the entire time until he and Randy were in the tree. Ranginald was on his stomach and Randy was using his feet to keep himself on the tree branch. "And I thought the cafeteria on chipped beef day was a tough room." Randy just stared at him, not laughing at his joke. "Nothing... nothing on chipped beef."

"One, still learning what chipped beef is as I never had it in the past 800 years, two, how can you make jokes at a time like this?"

"It's a defense mechanism, I do it when I'm nervous or happy or if there's silence, that's the worst," Ranginald told him.

"Destroy Ranginald Bagel!" Two citizens were being chased by the robots. It seems as if nothing was going to stop them from finding Ranginald Bagel and destroying him.

"I totally wonked it. Those bots'll keep coming till I prove to McFist that Ranginald's not the Ninja," Randy gasped at the plan that formed in his head. "That's it, the McFistival parade!"

"No idea what you're talking about. But I got six solid minutes on parades." Randy got out of the tree then used his scarf to get Ranginald down and the two ran off to the parade just seconds before a robot cut down the tree they were in. "Let's go!"

"Destroy Ranginald Bagel!"

Back at the parade, McFist was bored out of his mind. While he was waiting for the Ninja to be destroyed, he has nothing else to do. the only thing that he was excited about was the destruction of the Ninja. "This is the most boring race ever."

Marci then told him, "I don't think it's a race."

"Whatever it is, make it go faster!" McFist shouted but the crowd ignored him as everyone continued to cheer for the parade.

Meanwhile, Randy was with Ranginald who was making multiple parade jokes. 'I am over 800 years old, I've heard great jokes and I've heard terrible jokes, how is this kid the most annoyed kid over met in the past 800 years.'

"That's no balloon! That's my sister!" Ranginald laughed loudly at his own joke again then said, "See, six minutes on parades!"

"Bah, Longest six minutes of my life," Randy complained. 'Here I thought me waiting in the shadows to save Jews from concentration camps was rough. I practically waited for hours to be able to save just two people sometimes.'

"That's because it was seven!" Ranginald shouted. Randy threw him on a float with McSquiddles all over it. The two were hidden by the crowd and it seems they had lost the robots. "So you think we lost the robots or what?"

A robot landed on the McSquiddles float ready to attack the duo. "I'm gonna go with, "or what"." Randy grabbed Ranginald before the robot could kill Ranginald with its ax.

" "Or what?" That's great! Can I steal that?"

"No." Randy and Ranginald hid behind a helium tank with many McFist and Whoopee World balloons. Randy covered Ranginald's mouth to keep him quiet. Two of the robots left leaving Randy to sigh a breath of relief.

"Destroy Ranginald Bagel!" Suddenly, a robot slashed the helium tank causing a squeaking sound to come out. Everyone ran off knowing what was about to happen, the helium tank blew up, destroying the robot in an instant. "My balloons, they go pop pop."

With the Carp float that Norrisville High created was going down the street. The twirl team was in front, while the marching band was in the back and to the side.

Howard was actively looking for Randy who still hadn't shown up for their performance. "Hey, everybody looks like Weinerman got abandoned," Flute Girl said in a teasing tone to her bandmates.

"Kick him when he's down, zing!" Bucky dinged his triangle and everyone laughed at Howard who just looked at them annoyed.

"Wrong per U, Flute Girl. I'm just gonna get everyone warmed up with a sweet drum solo. Then it's face melting time." Howard twirled his drumsticks in the air, caught them then started his drum solo with a push of a button. 'You better get here quick, Cunningham. I can only keep people entertained for so long.'

Randy could hear the drumming playing from where he was running and knew it immediately. "Drum solo, classic Weinerman stall. Just keep 'em busy, buddy. I'll be there soon." A robot came from a crowd and threw the ax at Ranginald and Randy. Randy threw Ranginald in the air. He screamed the entire time as Randy dodged the axe throw which destroyed a robo-ape. "Axe and ye shall receive." Randy slid on his knees and caught Ranginald in his arm.

Ranginald still seemed unfazed by the attacks that had been thrown at him. "Ha! I'm stealing that one!"

"No, you're not!" Randy threw Ranginald to the side to hide him in the crowd. "Ninja Boom Ball!" Randy threw an explosive ball at a robot which caused it to fly into the McCleaners. Four more robots surrounded Randy, not realizing that he already tossed Ranginald Bagel aside. "Bring it on!" A robot tried to attack Randy with an axe but he dodged it quickly.

McFist and Viceroy were watching the fight from a distance. McFist was furious that, who he thought was Ranginald Bagel, had Ninjad out. "Ranginald Bagel's Ninja'd out. Why didn't you plan for that?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, wait. I did." Viceroy chuckled evilly. On his McFistPad, Viceroy pushed a button that launched missiles from a robo-ape parade float butt to attack Randy. More missiles from a Whoopee World float as well. Randy grabbed Ranginald and he dodged each missile fired at them with ease while also dodging the killer robot's attack. One attack got Ranginald as it sliced his belt causing his pants to fall down.

A robot stood in front of Randy ready to attack but he slid under it and the robot chasing them, sliced the robot in half. Randy stood behind the sliced robot and before the robot could attack them again, the Ninja attacked first. "Ninja Air Fist!" This attack took off the robot's head then it fell to the ground.

Randy looked around and saw that Ranginald was gone. "Ranginald?" On a McFist float, Ranginald was hiding and whimpering in fear. Ranginald was found with his knees close to his body and his eyes bulging out of his skull. "Ranginald, you ok?"

Ranginald gasped in fear as he stood up and his pants fell down. He pulled them up and started crying, finally, the emotions and realization of what was happening is hitting him. "You got a joke for me there, Rang?" Randy asked as he put a comforting hand on his shoulder. 'His jokes may be bad but if they're a coping mechanism then he really needs to say one, and maybe I should laugh.'

Ranginald looked at the Ninja angrily then shouted, "A joke? You want a joke?" Ranginald picked up the Ninja and shook him up and down like a doll. "I was almost sliced in two by a giant robot!" He put Randy and stared at him in the eyes, obviously stressed and upset. "Pardon me if I don't find the humor in that!" His pants fell down again so he picked them back up and started to cry again. "I just wanna make people laugh!"

'This is my fault, I gave Booray a fake name and now McFist is after Ranginald. How can I fix this? I need to find a way to get those robots to stop trying to kill Ranginald.' Randy looked up and saw the McFist face on the McFist Industries parade float. 'Of course! McFist needs to see that Ranginald Bagel and the Ninja are not the same person.'

"Ranginald, I think I can fix this, but I need you to make people laugh," Randy said as he pulled Ranginald closer to him. "Think you can do that for me, buddy?"

Ranginald stared at the Ninja for a few seconds, then said, "Have you heard the one about...?"

Before Ranginald could finish, Randy covered his mouth. "No, no. Save it." Randy grabbed Ranginald before the robots could come at them then he jumped off and started running toward Howard. On the way, Randy grabbed a McFist balloon to help Ranginald keep his pants up.

Meanwhile, Howard was still doing his drum solo but sweat was coming off his body like no tomorrow. He was getting exhausted from stalling for his friend. Randy after just seconds after Howard fell to the ground exhausted. "Ninja, that cheese! De-suit and we can..." Then Howard noticed Ranginald. He broke his drumstick in half annoyed at the most annoying student in Norrisville was with them on the float. "What's he doing here?"

"Say hello to your new opening act."

Howard gasped shocked at what Randy was doing. 'He can't be serious.'

Randy grabbed the microphone. "Norrisville, prepare yourself for... the comedy stylings of Ranginald Bagel!"

"Ranginald Bagel!" Howard said unbelieved what Randy just did. 'And he is.'

"Ranginald Bagel!" The killer robots said hearing what Randy said on the microphone.

"Ranginald Bagel!" McFist said shocked by what he just heard.

Ranginald grabbed the mic from the Ninja and started his routine. "Ranginald Bagel is my name, and comedy is the thing that I do that rhymes with "name"." Ranginald bowed at the crowd ready to give them his jokes.

Howard walked up to Randy and whispered, "What have you done?"

"I know we wanted this, Howard, but he needs it," Randy told him. In truth, Randy mainly was doing the float performance for Howard, he wants his friend to have memories that are going to last him the rest of his life.

"Two robo-apes walk into a building, you think one of them would've seen it!"

"Ha ha ha." One of the robo-apes laughed at the joke but McFist was still in disbelief. "But the Ninja's... and Ranginald's... Ranginald Bagel can't be the Ninja! I knew that swamp elf was nuts!"

"Oh, this isn't over yet." Viceroy worked his magic on his McFistPad and now the killer robots were going after the Ninja and not Ranginald Bagel.

"Destroy Ninja!" More rockets fired from the Whoopee World float and fired at Randy.

"The Ninja who looks the other way fails to see the attack!" Randy turned around and saw several killer robots coming at him from behind. They started climbing up the float to kill him.

"Destroy Ninja!"

"But I'm looking right at the attack. I see it. How do I stop it?" Randy looked at the Whoopee World float then he turned and saw the cannon. "Looks the other way." Randy now realized what he needs to do. "Ninja wisdom flip." Randy threw a fireball at a cannon. The fire lit the fuse and the cannon fired, destroying the head of the Whoopee World float and the McFist air balloon. Pieces of the balloon caught on fire and started falling down, desroying the killer robots and the Norrisville High Carp float. Before it hit Randy, Howard, and Ranginald, Usendy grabbed them and got them to safety with his scarf.

"Ninja! Ninja! Ninja!" The crowd cheered for the Ninja but McFist was upset that he didn't destroy the Ninja, again.

"Well, on the bright side, this was the best parade ever," Viceroy said, trying to lighten up the mood.

"I HATE THE BRIGHT SIDE!"

Randy got out of his Ninja suit and returned to Howard's side, who was not happy about what happened. "Ranginald got our glory and the McFistival of Pride parade went up in flames. I hope you learned something from all this."

"I did. One, remember names of everyone at Norrisville High so I don't make the mistake of nearly getting someone killed, two, the moment an enemy finds out my identity mind wipe them like I did with Mac Antfee."

"Did you hear the one about the robo-ape who got fired from the banana farm?" Ranginald Bagel said, trying to joke with the robo-apes who laughed at his jokes. "He was throwing out all the bent ones."

The robo-apes didn't laugh this time. Instead, they looked at each other, then one of them said, "That joke is offensive. Get him!" Ranginald screamed in fear and ran away as the robo-apes went after him. "I kid! I kid! That's what I do!"

Randy groaned. "Seriously, I'll be back. Gotta rescue Ranginald." Randy put his mask back on and ran to save Ranginald... again.

"Good night, everybody!"