TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal thoughts in the italics section, please tread carefully

A couple months pass in a blur, sometimes they go by so slowly it feels like an eternity until Fiyero comes back, sometimes it feels like just yesterday he was here and now he's back again; those are the best, it sort of makes it feel like everything's normal, even though it's far from it.

Fiyero's seen actual battle a couple of times now. He's come back with a couple scars and bruises, but nothing too bad or severe, thank Oz.

Things between Helena and Elphaba are…interesting to say the least. They've gotten better. Elphaba has managed to open up a little bit to the older woman while still keeping some of her boundaries and avoiding certain subjects, mostly because she herself wasn't ready to talk about and also because some of those things weren't hers to tell, they were Fiyero's.

Fiyero and Helena were also interesting. They were able to talk to each other a little easier, though there were still these awkward moments of silence. But Fiyero was much more relaxed around Helena now, that it felt like he was holding back when he didn't want to anymore. But there were times where he didn't hold back, he'd even started to tell Helena some stories about work, and answered many more of her questions with less hesitation. They'd even gone a solid 20 minutes of just talking back and forth, no awkwardness, no tension, and they'd both smiled at each other, genuinely smiled.

Their communication was getting better.

Which is why Helena felt like she could ask Fiyero about something that's been on her mind for months now. She just hoped it didn't ruin any of the progress they'd made so far. Oz, she didn't want to mess this up, they'd worked so hard.

Fiyero turned at the soft couple of knocks at the door and saw his mother peeking in.

"Can I come in?"

He nodded. "Yeah," he marked his place in the book he'd been reading, knowing she most likely wanted to talk to him.

"What are you reading?" she asked as she sat down across from him at the small table.

"I'm not entirely sure, to be honest with you," he chuckled softly. "The book is written from the point of view of a character that's mentally ill, so it feels a bit all over the place. I might ask Elphaba to debrief it for me."

Helena smiled. Speaking of the green girl, "Where is Elphaba, by the way?"

"She's taking a shower. She just started, so she might be in there for a bit."

"Oh, ok…um," she could feel her hands start to tremble and started to play with her fingers, trying to find a way to relax.

"Is everything alright?" Fiyero asked, sensing her nerves.

"I want to ask you something. And as you know, you're not obligated to tell me anything, feel free to straight up ignore it if you want to, but I've wanted to ask you this for so long and…I'm sorry if I'm assuming things, but I feel like we're at an ok place, do you?"

Fiyero bit his lip,

He couldn't deny the fact that he did feel that things were better. Much better. He didn't feel as tense around her as he did when he'd first seen her about eight months ago, he was even alright with being alone with her in a room now. And he felt like they were doing good as far as talking to each other went.

They hadn't really talked about…the past or anything that he felt was too personal that he wasn't ready to tell her about, but they were doing fine. He'd never in his wildest dreams thought they'd ever get to here.

"I think so," Fiyero whispered, nodding his head slightly.

Helena breathed a sigh of relief. "Great. So…um…months ago, when I'd first found out about Elphaba, I asked if she made you happy. Do you remember that?"

Dear Oz, he knew where this was going. Fiyero swallowed. "I do," he answered anyway.

"And…you said yes and that she saved you."

Fiyero nodded again, not saying anything.

"Oz, Fiyero," she whispered. "What did you mean by that?"

He bit the inside of his cheek and stood up. He caught Helena frowning and he put out a hand. "I'm not leaving, I just…need a minute."

He'd never told anyone this. It was the part of his life where he'd hit rock bottom, he'd been numb to anything and everything. It was hard to even think about that period of his life.

And part of him couldn't believe that he was about to talk about it, that he was willing to talk about it, and to her.

After a moment of the only sound filling the room being the water running from Elphaba's shower, Fiyero took a deep breath.

"About four, five years ago, when I'd recently settled in the Badlands, even though I'd found a job and place to live, I wasn't doing well, mentally. I threw myself into work, I barely ate. It started out small and then…most of my salary went to alcohol, I was drinking every night, sleeping with someone new more often than not, too. Needless to say, I struggled, for a while,"

After almost two years, Fiyero was done. He couldn't take it anymore. He was tired, tired of feeling so much and yet nothing at all, and frankly he didn't care about anything anymore. He'd thought the drinks, the women, would help a bit, but he'd been so wrong.

He didn't want to feel this way anymore.

Fuck everything.

He will do it tonight.

He didn't care what he had to do or if it would be painful instead of quick, he'd kill himself anyway he could in order to not see the next day. He just couldn't do it anymore.

Fiyero sat at his usual table at the bar, the dark, warm lights, loud music, and smoke from cigarettes drowning the room yet he couldn't really take in any of it. He stood up and threw away his empty beer bottle, needing to go to the bathroom.

As he washed his hands, he figured he should give himself one last luxury. He could buy himself one last meal before he left. He briefly wondered if he'd said goodbye to Avaric when they'd gone their separate ways after work. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't; it didn't matter, this would be a weight lifted off of his friend's shoulders.

As Fiyero walked back to his table, he froze mid step at seeing there was a figure sitting there. He kept approaching the table, not up for changing the routine he'd set for himself in this place.

Now that he was closer, he could tell the person was wrapped in a cloak with a hood over their head. A quick flash of light and he caught a glimpse of their profile, enough to tell this person was a woman. She was small, very small; he was sure that if he concentrated, he could see her spine poking through her cloak. And he could have sworn her skin was green; he was not drunk enough to have imagined it, hell, it was one of those few times he was sober. Whatever, he didn't care.

Fiyero sat down at the chair he'd occupied before, across from the woman. He'd figured he could argue with her or just not answer her if she bugged him about sitting here, but she'd stayed silent.

A waiter came up to him and he vaguely heard him ask if he would like anything else.

"A beer, the burger of the day and…you want anything?" he asked the woman. She looked like she could use something in her. Hell, even just a glass of water might do her some good.

Slowly, as if unsure if he'd been addressing her, the woman turned her head towards Fiyero and he saw her full face.

Dear Oz, she looked so young, like she was just a girl. And yeah, he definitely hadn't imagined that her skin was green.

She kept staring at him, barely blinking.

Fiyero nodded. "I mean it," might as well, it's not like money followed you to the grave or anything, and he had some left to splurge. "If you don't drink, you can get some water or soda, and some food; whatever you want it's on me."

Her eyes widened ever so slightly and she swallowed. She slowly turned her head towards the waiter who pulled out a small pamphlet containing the menu from the pocket in his apron. "You look new," he said.

The woman…girl? Oz, how old was she? She barely nodded and took the pamphlet with her bony hand. After skimming it, she wordlessly pointed to a couple things and handed the pamphlet back to the waiter once he finished jotting her order down.

"Coming right up," he said and walked away.

Fiyero was able to study her a bit when she'd been reading the menu. She looked so worn down and her face as well as her clothes were a bit dirty and her eyes seemed so far off. "You look how I feel," he concluded.

"How do you feel?" she spoke, her voice taking him aback.

He scoffed. "Like shit. It's been two years of trying to stay on my feet because even though I have a job and an apartment, it hasn't been enough for me to move on and it's not like I have family nearby to help. All because my father deemed me worthless and my mother doesn't give a shit about me either. She'd stood there and nodded along as my father said he'd wished I'd died from when my head cracked open, which he'd caused by the way. Sometimes I wish I had died from that, it would've saved me from all the other near death experiences he put me through, one of which included internal bleeding and a punctured lung. I have a little brother who doesn't even know me because they never let me anywhere near him as I'm apparently 'a bad influence'. In fact, I think he hated me as well. It sure looked like it with that glare he gave me as my parents told me they were kicking me out of the country. Yeah, country. Did I mention my parents are the fucking king and queen of the Vinkus? And I swear there's something every single day that reminds me of it and then suddenly I'm back in that place getting the wind knocked out of me and I can't take it anymore; I want out!"

"Here's your order sir."

"Thank fuck," Fiyero took a swig of the beer the waiter had placed in front of him.

Oz, had he really just word-vomited all of that to her? Whatever, he honestly couldn't care less.

He glanced up from his plate and saw that the woman was looking at him with wide eyes. Even with the dim lights, he could make out that they were very dark, almost black in color. It was a sharp contrast against her sclera. Her eyes…were actually pretty gorgeous.

"Were you born that way?" add that to the list of things that seemed to just come out of his mouth without second thought.

Before he could apologize for being so blunt, she cut him off.

"Yeah. My father made my mom chew milk flowers while she was pregnant with my little sister because of it. But they just ended up weakening her and the baby; my sister was born with her legs twisted which made her wheelchair-bound and my mom died in childbirth. My father blamed me for all of it. I was never his child, I was more of a servant for the house, for him, and my sister. She got pregnant by a boy in school at 16 and it was my fault for not watching her like my father told me to. He beat me for the first time when he found out. They kept it because of religion. The baby and my sister died in childbirth. My father beat me again until I passed out. He got drunk and then stabbed me. Thankfully because he was drunk he didn't go too deep but it'll scar. He chased me out of the house with the knife, told me he would shoot me if I ever came back. He rarely let me out of the house so people were shocked when they saw me, deemed me a witch and chased me out of Munchkinland. Did I mention my father's the governor?"

"And here's your order, miss."

"Thank goodness," she groaned and took a huge bite out of the sandwich the waiter gave her. She hated to use the word starving, but in this case, she seriously thinks it's the only way to describe how hungry she is. She'd been next to her sister for almost 24 hours of labor, that plus the time she'd been unconscious and walking as far as her feet could take her totaled to three days, maybe a bit more, that she'd gone since she last had anything to eat, and it wasn't even like she was eating much to begin with. This was the largest meal she'd ever had. And it tasted amazing. She put her hand up to cover her mouthful as she said, "Thank you. So much. I owe you."

Fiyero was rendered speechless.

After that, he barely touched his food and his drink; he was much more interested in the young woman in front of him.

They got to talking, getting to know each other as the minutes flew by, somehow finding it so incredibly easy to open up and confide in one another despite having just met.

Elphaba, Oz, her name was gorgeous too, finished her meal after a little over an hour, having taken it slow in order to avoid making herself sick.

"Are you still hungry?" Fiyero asked, noticing how she'd tried to subtly eat the small crumbs that were left over.

"Um," she blushed.

"You can say yes, Angel," because that's what she was to him.

Elphaba nodded and pressed her hand to her cheeks, trying, and failing, to hide her smile. She was completely entranced with him. She couldn't believe that he'd gone through so much yet he managed to easily be one of the kindest people she'd ever met. She'd definitely smiled more tonight in the time she'd known Fiyero than she'd had in her entire lifetime, she could feel it in her cheeks.

They've already shared so much with each other.

Elphaba was absolutely floored when he confessed he was planning on killing himself tonight.

"I mean…" Oz, how could she tread lightly from here? "You said 'was', does…does that mean you're having second thoughts?"

For a couple moments, he didn't say anything, just stared at her eyes and then let his gaze roam all over her face. She could practically feel her own blush.

"Yeah, I am."

She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Oh thank Oz. "I'm glad. I just know your friends and colleagues would miss you if you were suddenly gone tomorrow. And I'm not sure if this means anything to you but…I would too," she whispered. And she wouldn't find out till later how much it truly meant to him; because here was a stranger who would miss him if he were gone while his parents didn't bat an eye when he left.

Before they knew it, the bar was only an hour away from closing. They were making the last call for any alcoholic beverages. Oz, it felt like time went by so unbelievably fast.

Once Elphaba's food came in a to-go box, Fiyero asked, "Do you have a place to stay tonight?"

She shook her head. She'd been sleeping mostly during the day in places that seemed relatively busy; there was less of a chance of something bad happening that way. And it wasn't like she hung around much anyway, she rested for two, maybe three hours at a time. "I'll be fine - "

"Would you - "

"Sorry, you first," she smiled.

Fiyero chuckled and looked down at the table, feeling nervous all of the sudden. "Would…would you like to come back to my apartment?

Here's the backstory :)

Tell me what you thought.