One Last Song Chapter 33: Cat: Where All Roads Lead, a victorious fanfic

Cat: Where All Roads Lead

A deep rumble woke me up. My first unconscious thought was that it was part of my dream. Then, I thought maybe it was an earthquake. Finally, as my eyes slowly opened, I realized it was thunder.

I was facing Jade, though it was still so dark in the room I couldn't see her well. I fumbled about for my phone. It was 10:48 AM. That didn't seem right, given how dark the room was. There were a series of notifications from my weather app on my phone warning of stormy weather.

That explains why it looks more like 10:48 PM, I thought. Even beyond the borders of the black-out curtains we had drawn, it seemed very dark.

I couldn't believe I slept so late. I must have been even more exhausted than I thought. Road trips were always sort of tiring, but all of the emotional tolls this one brought with it made it so much worse. I had gotten caught in my lie, and was paying the consequences for it.

Jade and I hadn't talked much after Tori left. She took a shower and went to bed. I soaked in the tub for awhile, mostly so I could cry and not disturb her. When I finally crawled into bed next to her it was after one in the morning.

I didn't know when Tori's flight was. It just made me so sad that she left us. I wanted her to have all the success she could find in her career, and I know the road trip had messed that up for her, but I didn't believe she'd ever walk away like that. She was always the one who was there for everyone. The one who fixed things when one of us needed help.

As much as I was sad she left, I felt even worse for Jade. She seemed so lonely and missed Tori so much. There were moments back at the first safehouse where I could tell she was angrier than she let on or that she wanted to say more than she did. She had grown so much, and I was so proud of her.

It seems impossible that life can change people so much that they become such different versions of themselves. There was a time where I never would have thought Tori and Jade could let anything come between them.

But life, as I learned, was very cruel and merciless, especially as you get older. And the things you think can never happen, sometimes do. Like Sam leaving me. Like Tori leaving us. Like the social media people trying to ruin Jade's life. Like the medical problems Tori was facing.

Few things in your first eighteen years can really prepare you for how brutal and unforgiving the rest of your life can be.

Come on, Cat. Don't be so negative.

It was my own voice I heard, but not. As if one of the dozens of versions of younger Cats was trying to talk to me again.

Don't you remember how optimistic we used to be? Always looking on the bright side?

I locked my phone again and tucked it under my pillow. That was before we understood how awful things could get.

But maybe they can get better, somehow.

Thunder shook the walls and windows of the room; the crack was so loud I jumped. When the lightning followed, I could see Jade's eyes were open now. She was staring at the ceiling.

"Hi," I whispered.

She turned her head and offered a sad smile. "Hi."

We sat in total silence for a very long, uncomfortable amount of time. Part of me couldn't help but think back on the last time I shared a bed with Jade, the week before the Final Showcase. I needed to get that thought out of my head really fast.

"Are you mad at me for lying?"

Another flash of lightning lit up the room briefly as Jade glanced my way again. "No." She sighed. "I mean, I wish you'd have been honest with us. But I can understand why you weren't, I guess. You wanted to take action and if we had known it had been three years we would have…well. Not. At least, not as urgently."

My heart sank. "So you think she's gone for good, too? I'm pretty sure that's what Tori thinks."

Jade rolled over to face me as the room shook again. "I think three years is a long time. And I think based on that note, she doesn't want anyone to find her. I hate saying that but it's just how things seem. It doesn't mean we won't be able to find her." She paused. I could tell she didn't want to say the rest, but she did. "But I think you should brace yourself for not finding her. Or, even if we do find her, you should be prepared that she won't want to come back. I'm not saying I think that's what will happen. I just think its practical to prepare for the worst."

I didn't even notice the stray tear that slipped out, but Jade did. She caught it and wiped away. It was like brushing a lit match against my cheek. I instinctively grabbed her hand in both of mine. "I just wish I understood why she left," I said, my voice straining.

"Well, tell me what happened before that," Jade said. "Did anything happen between you guys? Like a fight? Something with your career, maybe?"

I didn't like thinking back on that time, but maybe if I shared some of it, Jade would recognize something I didn't.

"She was always so supportive of my career. She even came with me for my first tour, the short one that was just here in the states."

"I remember that one," Jade said with a wistful smile. "We were so happy for you. Even if I was a little skeptical of the album name being the same as your old babysitting service."

I giggled. "That album made Super Rocking Fun Time a household name, thank you very much," I said. "Anyway, we spent so much time together. She'd come with me to the studio when I was recording the second album. She gave me her feedback on the songs. She even made sure any worries I had were taken care of. Things were great."

"She didn't go on that second tour, though, did she?"

"No. She claimed flying to Wales for your wedding was her last international flight. She kind of struggled that whole trip, from what I remember." Wait. "No…it was even before that. Like months before, she just kind of started losing interest in things. But that was years before she left. And when we got back, she seemed to improve, like we'd go out a lot, and she came on the first tour. Things seemed pretty normal. I thought maybe she was just having a rough patch. What if I misread that entire letter? I thought…she was talking about me. 'Sometimes people are beyond help and the kindest thing to do is just let them go.' Oh god, Jade, what if she was talking about herself?"

My stomach was sick. Did I misread things that badly? Did I really think even for a second that my beautiful Sam would ever leave me because she thought I was beyond help? I was trembling and on the verge of losing it when Jade's arm slid under my head and she pulled me over to her.

"Hey…calm down." She brushed my hair with her fingers. "We'll figure it out. That's a big revelation. Maybe it's right, maybe not. Don't let it shake you this bad, okay?"

My head spun. The emotion of the moment was so intense; had I missed the signs of Sam being depressed? Had she left because of that? I tried to think, but Jade's touch was sending all kinds of signals through my whole body and if I didn't get out of there I didn't know what I'd do.

I pulled away and sat up, not sure if my heart was slamming so hard in my chest from her or from what I just thought of about Sam.

"What's wrong?" Jade asked. She sat up too, but didn't move.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I just have so much going through my head and I can't sort through it. And sitting here with you, and that…the way you…ugh. Forget it. I'm sorry. I just need a minute."

I rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. The cold water felt good, it sharpened my mind a bit. The thunder shook the room again, and this time the lights flickered with it.

Great. Perfect time for awful weather.

When I came out of the bathroom, I was surprised to find Jade's suitcase on the bed, unzipped. Next to it she had laid out a few of her nicer outfits. She had opened the heavy curtain, but it was still really dark out. A few of the lamps had been switched on.

"Aren't we going home?"

She turned to me and smiled. "Yeah. Eventually."

"I'm confused."

She glided over to me. "We are both stressed beyond reason right now, right?"

"Sure."

"The other night back at that first safe house, we kind of cut loose a little. And it was great, right?"

"I guess, while it lasted."

"Well then its time to make it last." A clap of thunder made both of us jump. "Look, I checked the forecast. It's supposed to do this all day. I don't really want to drive home in this storm. And its hitting the entire coast. So lets just stay one more day, find somewhere to shop, find a nice place to eat and maybe have some drinks and just relax."

Part of me desperately wanted to do that, but there was so much happening. "What about Tori? And Sam?"

Jade smiled patiently at me. "Tori's still going to be in LA tomorrow. And Sam…I don't think another 24 hours is going to change much. Do you?"

"I guess not."

Jade's lips curled upwards in her best, mischievous smirk. "Good. So find something that makes you feel super hot and lets just say fuck it and have some fun. I think we've earned it, don't you?"

I don't know if we earned it, but I definitely wanted it. A day out with one of my best friends? Forgetting about our problems? Sign me up.

Mount Shasta Mall seemed like the best place to start our shopping spree. It was a typical shopping mall with the same layout as dozens of others; a few anchor stores, lots of smaller chains, some places to eat and get coffee.

The drive was a little nerve wracking; the rain was coming down pretty hard, which seems to automatically lower everyone's driving IQ by about a hundred points. Jade got us there in one piece and we got a decent spot close to the main entrance. It seemed like the rain was keeping everyone at home.

We weren't very hungry, so we skipped out on lunch and settled for some chocolate bun bites and some chillattas at Cinnabon (Cookies and Cream for me and Double Chocolate Mocha for Jade). We did an initial walkabout to get a feel for the place, noting the stores and only stopping when something really stood out. My first shop of choice was Bath and Body Works. I can't remember the last time I'd been in one of those. It was so much fun checking out the samples and buying new scented bath oils and lotions. I always overindulged there, and today was no exception.

I kept an eye out for people who seemed to recognize us. The place was slow, like I said, so there weren't too many other shoppers to worry about.

"Do you think Tori got back safe?" I asked as another clap of thunder rolled outside. We couldn't hear it as loud in here.

"I texted her. It went through, but she's not answering. I know her flight last night got delayed but I haven't heard from her in a while."

"Aren't you worried?"

"Like, for her safety? No. Her phone's fine, she's just not answering me. She needs space, I guess. That's why she left instead of asking us to go with her." Jade shrugged. "If that's what she needs, I'll give it to her. Forcing her to talk to me before she's ready isn't going to solve anything."

"I guess."

"Hey." She elbowed me. "This is supposed to be a 'forget our problems' day, remember?" Jade saw a store nearby and lit up. "And what better way to forget our problems than browsing trashy sex toys?"

She grabbed my hand and dragged me into Spencer's.

When I was younger, I hated coming in here. It felt so dirty and gross and it smelled like lube, weed, and desperation. I mellowed a bit over the years. I still hated the smell, but Sam and I would sometimes stop in to buy some fun things to play with privately.

But a lady doesn't discuss such things in detail.

While Jade looked at the toys, I found myself browsing the lingerie. It all seemed so cheap and tawdry; even the ones that looked nicer were still kind of skanky. I much preferred Victoria's Secret or aerie, although I'm pretty sure aerie didn't exist anymore.

"You know, Tori's never had sex with a guy," Jade mused as we she looked at the selection of…well…strap-ons.

"Neither have," I reminded her.

"So weird that I'm the only one between the three of us." She found one she seemed to like and looked the box over. "I can't believe in all these years, we've never used one of these. I guess she doesn't know what she's missing."

"I don't think I'm missing anything," I said as I looked at a bizarrely shaped vibrator with three prongs, none of which seemed like they'd fit anywhere comfortably. "Where does this even go?"

Jade moved closer to me and spoke softly. "How long's it been for you?"

My cheeks started burning. "Three years."

"Seriously?" Jade seemed shocked. "Cat…that's crazy."

"Why?"

"I mean…you don't even take care of it yourself?"

"Jade, no! Shh!"

She laughed. "Okay, I'm sorry. I just can't imagine going that long."

We rounded a corner of the shelf we were looking at. I was so uncomfortable with where the conversation was going, but at the same…well… "I've tried to do it myself, I just don't like it. It feels weird." I sighed, not sure if I wanted to ask the question on my own mind. "What about you?"

Jade smirked a little. "It's been a few weeks," she said sadly. "She did a little strip tease for me, actually. That was the last time we did anything. Right before things got ugly. It kinda felt like a distraction, to be honest. I mean it was incredible. I've never seen her do…just. Well. Wow."

I admit I got kind of excited thinking about that. "She seems too innocent for that," I said. "I bet that made it really intense. Sam always liked it when I'd get…well…naughtier. Something about corrupted innocence."

Jade smirked. "Yeah, sounds like Puckett. It's nice you're open to it with her. Tori's open too, when it's just she and I. Like, when I went to LA we tried to do a video chat thing where we talked dirty and tried to—"

"I really don't need all the details."

"There aren't any. Liz kind of crashed it before either of us got very far. So…yeah. It's been a while." She sighed. "But three years? Chrysler, Cat. No wonder you were so jumpy when I tried to hug you earlier."

And there went my cheeks again.

"It wasn't just that," I said. "I just can't even think straight lately. I did so good through all the therapy, but I stayed home and avoided people. Tried to figure out where Sam went. I never even made the third album I was contracted to. They're still waiting on me. I'm probably going to get sued for breach of contract soon." I realized I was rambling on about my problems again. "Sorry. I'm not doing a very good job of forgetting about my problems."

"It's okay. If it helps to talk now and then that's fine. But I think I can help you forget them," Jade said. She reached past me and pulled a little vibrator off the shelf. "I'm buying you this."

"Jade, no! Ohmygosh."

"Look, I guarantee you part of the reason you can't think straight is that you've got three years worth of—"

I covered her mouth. "Please don't say it."

She removed my hand. I pulled away as if she'd shocked me. She raised her eyebrow as if to say, See? "I bet you'll burst the moment you bring this within an inch of you—" I shot her a look that said Stop! She rolled her eyes. "Kitty."

I sighed. "Sam used to call it that."

"It's pretty common."

I huffed. "Fine. But you're carrying the bag."

"Happily."

I was so glad when we finally got out of there. We hit up a few clothing stores, tried on some outfits, and we each bought a new dress that we thought would be fun to wear to dinner later. As the day wore on, the tension slowly eased out of me. It had been so long since Jade and I just hung out and went shopping together. I didn't realize how much I missed it, how much I needed it, until then.

All that was missing was Tori and Sam.

But the point of the day was to forget those troubles. So I did my best to keep only the positive, happy thoughts in my head about them both.

Our last stop at the mall was one of my favorite places: Victoria's Secret. Few things made me feel good as a new pair of comfy panties, and I adored their perfume lines.

"We should check out the lingerie, too," Jade suggested. "Maybe find something sexy for yourself."

"Why? No one will see me in it."

"You've never tried on anything sexy just for the hell of it? Just to feel like a badass?"

"I guess not."

"Try it. Trust me. Even if no one sees you in it, it'll do wonders for your self-confidence." She smiled and waved the Spenser's bag at me. "And you can always wear it when you use your new little friend here."

I knew I'd give into her eventually, so I just skipped right to that part and didn't bother telling her how silly I'd feel if I dressed up just for myself. Besides, maybe she was right. Jade was one of the sexiest, most confident women I ever met. She was probably speaking from experience.

I went with a pretty pink open-back babydoll which came with matching panties. As much as Sam hated pink, she always liked it on me so if she ever saw me in this…well, I think she would approve. Jade bought a very sexy babydoll with a pleated skirt at the bottom and a lace ribbon just below the breast. It was low cut in the front which would definitely show off her amazing boobs.

Tori is a very lucky girl, I thought.

It was almost evening by the time we finished our shopping spree. We knew it was still storming because we heard the soft rumble of thunder all day. As we reached the exit, the rain was still coming down endlessly. Lightning streaked across the sky in a beautifully scary pattern. The radar on my phone showed even more storms coming in.

"I know God said he'd never drown the world again, but this map is making me skeptical."

Jade chuckled. "Good. We need more skeptics." Softer, she added, "Maybe the Big Guy's as fed up with how awful people are as I am."

I could tell she was still hurting from the crazy stuff with Hayley. I squeezed her hand. "Some of us are okay, you know."

She smiled. "Yeah. You're good people, Cat. Always have been."

The moment grew long and quiet between us. I couldn't bring myself to look away. Or swallow. Or breathe.

There was a flash not far from the window and what sounded like a bomb going off. I screamed and grabbed hold of Jade. After the initial shock wore off, we saw one of the trees on the edge of the parking lot had been split down the middle by a bolt of lightning.

We both laughed awkwardly as I let go of my grip on her shoulders. "Sorry," I said. "Kinda sounded like the parking lot was exploding."

"Sure sounded like it," she agreed. "I think our best bet's going to be to run for it. You ready?

"Are you sure it's safe?"

"Nope. But I'm sure I'll get there before you. On three. One, two…"

Jade ran off.

"What happened to three? Hey!"

I ran off after her. She had a good head start but I caught up pretty fast. We dove into the car, our wet clothes sticking to us. "I am very much over this weather," I groused as we settled into the car.

"Eh, come on. Think how much more memorable today will be because of it."

I bashfully glanced at her. "I think it will be plenty memorable just the way it is."

She didn't look my way or acknowledge what I said, except with a very subtle smile that pushed her cheeks up just a little bit.

"Still down for some dinner? I found a place I think you'll like."

"It's gotta be better than listening to the thunder in our hotel room. Though we may need to get some umbrellas from that overpriced gift shop. Unless you want to get dressed up at the restaurant."

Jade laughed at that. "Now there's a cool idea for a place. Bring your clothes, get dressed here!"

We laughed at that and half a dozen other corny jokes as Jade carefully drove us back to the hotel. By now, the potholes and low dips in the pavement were filled with water and the roads themselves were completely drenched in many places. Thank goodness Jade was such a good driver, because we slid a few times and she kept us steady and on the road.

We bought the umbrellas first, then took turns drying off in the bathroom. Jade redid her hair and makeup in the hotel room so I could use the bathroom.

I loved how my dress fit. It was snug and black and playful, not quite reaching the middle of my thighs. It was modestly cut in the neck with straps that weren't too thick but weren't thin either. I opened up my new panties from Victoria's Secret too, since the ones I put on that morning were already soaked from the rain.

They were so comfy.

I didn't do a lot of makeup, just fixed my foundation and added a bit of color with eyeshadow. Finally, I slipped into the white boots I bought. They boosted me an inch or so and contrasted really well with the black dress. I checked myself over in the mirror. Jade had wanted me to look hot and I think I pulled it off pretty well.

For a second, I wondered how Sam would react seeing me in this, but I pushed the thought aside. Not tonight. Plenty of time to worry more about her tomorrow. Tonight, it's just me and Jade.

As if it were playing a joke, my mind also wondered how Jade would react seeing me in this. I groaned to myself.

Jade was in front of the mirror, finishing up her lip gloss. She wore a deep crimson top with a swooping v-neck and spaghetti straps. Her skirt was black and hugged her hips tightly. Under it, she wore black pantyhose or maybe stockings; I couldn't tell for sure. All I know is, she was drop dead gorgeous. She completed her ensemble with a pair of black boots complete with several buckles that didn't seem to buckle anything. The boots lifted her quite a bit, like how mine did with me.

"Gosh," I said, breathless for a second.

Jade did a double-take at me. "Gosh yourself." She returned to her lip gloss, but I noticed she kept stealing some glances at me.

Just between you and me, it's very possible I didn't mind.

"You did this on purpose," I said as I shook the water off my umbrella.

Jade smirked. "Of course I did. I knew you couldn't resist, especially after the other night."

We were seated pretty quickly; the restaurant—Dinello's—wasn't busy, probably due to the rain, still. I wondered if it would ever end at this point. There were maybe two dozen people in the entire place, which given their capacity didn't seem like much.

At Jade's request, they put us right by the karaoke stage. I'm positive that alone is why Jade chose this place. I'd wanted to get up on stage so bad, especially after Tori and I walked by that one place in New York. Luckily it was so slow, no one would probably recognize us. And even if they did, so what? We'd be leaving for home in the morning anyway, and it didn't seem likely anyone would follow us back to our hotel or something.

"Order us drinks, I'll sign us up."

Jade hurried off to sign us up for karaoke. I got us some drinks and appetizers, excited to see what Jade had found for us to sing.

"You're gonna love it," she said as she reached for me. I let her pull me up on stage with her. "There's not even a wait, he's ready now."

I took a look at the song we were going to do to make sure I knew the lyrics. I laughed when I saw it, and somewhere within that laugh I felt a stab of emotion I wasn't expecting.

"I know we got a small crowd tonight," the deejay said. "But welcome to the stage Betty Sue Goldenheart and Little Red singing an oldie but a goodie: Give it Up!"

My heart was pounding a mile a minute. Jade's choice was perfect, especially given recent events. Just the two of us up on stage, together again. I could barely contain my excitement. The opening notes of the song hit. Jade started it off.

Someday, I'll let you in
Treat you right, drive you outta your mind…

I stepped up next to her. I hadn't sung publicly in a while, I hoped I didn't have any vocal rust.

You never met a chick like me
Burn so bright, I'm gonna make you blind

It felt so, so good. Jade threw off so much heat already and I was drawn to it.

Always want what you can't have
Is it so bad if you don't get what you wanted?
Make you feel good, as I whip you into shape
Yeah, boy, let's get it started

Suddenly I was a decade younger, on some cheap little stage in a dingy karaoke club in LA, singing with a gorgeous girl who I knew one day would become so important to me.

Give it up, you can't win
Cause I know where you've been
Such a shame you don't put up a fight
That's a game that we play at the end of the night
It's the same old story but you never get it right
Give it up!

Jade and I turned back-to-back, leaning against each other.

Come a little closer baby, baby
Come a little closer
Come a little closer baby, baby

We turned and faced each other. Her face was more alive than I'd seen it in a long time. She smiled and winked at me. I returned it. The adrenaline coursed through me. My mind cleared.

Before us, the two dozen people sitting around the stage had stopped eating. They were watching us. Listening. Totally enraptured.

So stop trying to walk away
No, you won't ever leave me behind
You better believe that I'm here to stay
Cause you're the shade and I'm the sunshine

We crossed paths on the stage, touching hands briefly as we did. A few of the people from the dining area away from the stage had wandered closer. It made me smile to think we were drawing such a crowd.

Look at me boy, cause I got you where I want you
Isn't it so exciting
Wanna shake you, wanna break you
Take a backseat boy, cause now I'm driving

Jade and I turned toward each other, swinging our hips and moving in time together like we did so many years ago. We inched closer and closer until we were practically touching. It was like stepping into an inferno.

Jade spun around and I followed her cue as we fell back-to-back again and slowly lowered ourselves down, teasing just a little with our skirts before pressing against each other and getting back to our feet.

Come a little closer
Come a little closer baby, baby
Come a little closer
Come a little closer baby, baby

Come a little closer
Come a little closer baby, baby
You are my baby and I'll make you crazy tonight

We switched sides again, as somehow even more people appeared around the stage. I'm pretty sure I saw a guy wearing a chef's hat.

Look at me boy, cause I got you where I want you
Isn't it so exciting
Wanna shake you, wanna break you
Take a backseat boy, cause now I'm driving

For the final chorus, we turned towards each other, our hips swaying, our bodies shaking. We slowly approached each other, ending back-to-back just in time for the final lines.

As the song ended, we turned into each other and embraced as the crowd broke out in applause. I held her close, cherishing the scent of her hair, her perfume, even her sweat from the dancing. My heart was in my throat, pounding harder than it had in years. I could barely catch my breath.

I'd never felt closer to the woman sharing the stage with me. As we held each other, I think I felt her heart pounding in her chest, or maybe it was still mine, or maybe it was both. The rush was so potent and familiar. Not being on stage. I'd done that hundreds of times.

No, it was being on stage with Jade.

Or maybe just being with Jade.

We stayed out so late. We sang more songs. We ate. We laughed. We reminisced. We flirted. We drank so much we had to call an Uber to get us back to the hotel. The rain still hadn't stopped.

I had so much fun. I'd forgotten what it was like to even live my life. I'd spent so much time in therapy and so many days and weeks and years trying to…

No problems tonight. No worrying. You promised.

We sat in the back of the Uber together. I absently left my hand resting on the seat between us. Jade glanced at it but didn't move for it right away. When she saw it was still there after a few minutes, she rested hers on top of it. She ran her thumb along the edge of my pointer, down into the little valley between it and my thumb, then back up my thumb.

Little currents of electricity shot all through my hand thanks to that simple, gentle touch. I should have pulled my hand away, but I couldn't. It was in its own small way a relief to have a hand on mine, to feel the bare skin of someone else, someone I cared so much about.

I was almost sad when the car pulled into the hotel lot. He dropped us off right in front of the door, so we didn't have to mess with our umbrellas. Still, my heart was a little heavy. Our night of forgetting was over. It had been so much fun, but when we settled in for the night, that would be it.

My body ached more than ever. The dancing and singing had my blood pumping in a way it hadn't for a long time and somehow that just made the aching fire in my belly so much worse. I toyed with the idea of locking myself in the bathroom and tearing open Jade's gift to me. I barely remembered what the thing looked like, my brain was so out of it. I sure intended to find out what it felt like, though. She was right, three years was too long.

The hotel spun as we made our way to the elevator. It took me a minute to move again once the doors slid open. I tripped over my heels and took them off, leaning on Jade as I did. We walked to the door like that, her arm around my waist, mine around hers. As we got to the door, the shoes slipped from my hand.

"Dang it," I giggled.

"I'll get them," Jade said. She kneeled down next to me, her head brushing against my thigh. I let out a whimper. "Sorry," she said as she stood back up.

"Don't be." My face was so red. And hot. Was it hot in there? I reached out for my shoes. My fingers brushed Jade's and ohmygod the electricity and the heat was so intense. My belly flipped and my thighs shook and as I looked deep into Jade's eyes I almost didn't see that the door to the room opened.

Wait, what?

In that heady, crazy, drunken moment when my body was on fire and the slightest touch from Jade had nearly pushed me over the edge, I almost thought I was hallucinating when I saw Tori standing in the doorway of our room.

She wore her nightgown and silk robe and her glasses, with her hair up in kind of a messy ponytail. Her eyes were glassy. There was a bottle of wine in her own hand that seemed pretty empty to me.

God those glasses make her look so sexy…

I chided myself; I knew it was the alcohol talking.

Of course it is, and it's not going to shut up.

"Um…Tori, this…I mean, it's not…what it…I mean it looks bad," Jade stammered. "But really, we weren't…I mean we're just drunk and we were singing and…"

Tori grabbed my hand and Jade's and pulled us gently in the room, then shut the door. Even her hand on my wrist sent a wave of tingles through me.

"I'm glad you came back," Jade said. Her voice was trembling. Her cheeks were flush. Oh god, what a mess. I hoped she didn't think we would have…

But maybe you would have…

I couldn't read Tori's expression at all. She seemed confused and maybe kind of drunk and definitely very emotional judging from the way her chest was heaving…

"It's my fault, Tori, I'm sorry," I blurted out all at once. "It's just that we got so drunk and had so much fun and we were singing and it's been three years and I wasn't going to do anything, honest, it was just a really bad moment of weakness and bad timing but I swear I'd never want her to—"

Tori placed a finger over my lips. She gently cupped her hand against my cheek. God, the warmth of her hand, the scent of her skin, and how close Jade was, I was going to burst into flames if I didn't get out of there.

Tori gently tilted my head toward Jade. Her gaze met Jade's and her eyes shifted. They were so expressive; her brow lifted and lowered, her eyes glimmered in the flashes of lightning. Jade seemed confused at first, but I swear they had a full-on conversation with just their eyes, not saying a word. Jade seemed so confused and ready to burst, I couldn't understand what they were trying to say.

Then it hit me.

Well, Jade hit me. With her lips. On mine.

Under Tori's gentle guidance, Jade kissed me. Her full lips pressed into mine. My jaw locked shut as I glanced at Tori in mad confusion. She seemed to nod at me, though, or her eyes did or something. Her thumb caressed my cheek again and she kind of led me closer to Jade.

Jade's lips had been gently kissing the surface of my closed mouth, but at Tori's gentle urging, I pressed back against her. We found our rhythm in no time at all; her lips were so familiar and so wonderful, full and soft and surprisingly gentle.

My entire body trembled as Tori caressed the back of my head while Jade kissed me. I was so confused and so desperate and so lost in the heat of this insane, impossible moment. Jade finally broke the kiss. She looked at me with such affection, then turned her gaze to Tori. More passed between them, more of this secret conversation I wanted so desperately to understand. Tori kissed Jade then, quickly deepening it and drawing her tongue out. They both groaned into each other and I found myself squeezing my legs together to cope with the onset of tingles and wetness.

Jade's hand joined Tori's, cupping my cheek. They both pulled me closer to them and suddenly my lips were entangled with both of theirs. I couldn't tell where mine ended and theirs began; it was a mishmash of soft, wet lips, of rolling tongues caressing mine over and under, of hands gently touching my cheek and my head, and then sliding down my back and ohmygod what the hell is happening?

They led me to the loveseat by the smaller window nook. The thunder shook the ground outside and lightning split the night sky as Tori gently pulled me to the middle of the loveseat. She sat next to me, gazing into my eyes, gently caressing my cheeks. She didn't say anything, but I felt her affection, her compassion, her understanding. I felt it through her big, gorgeous eyes and through the way her hand brushed the tears off my cheek.

I was nearly dizzy from hyperventilating as Jade sat next to me on the other side. They glanced at each other again, then Tori leaned in and kissed me. I'd always wondered what it would be like to kiss her, even if only in a fantasy, but the reality made my world spin. Her lips were thinner than Jade's, but her touch was so attentive and caring. She gently licked my lips before parting them. As I opened them, Jade's lips suddenly appeared on my neck. She kissed me gently, but with increasing pressure.

It felt like my entire body was trapped in a permanent earthquake; I was terrified I would just shake myself to pieces. I was a ball of fire and a wall of ice and somehow everything between those things.

A hand, Jade's I think, since she was on that side, settled on my right knee. Tori drew my tongue into her mouth, raising herself up a little above me, causing my body to sink lower in the love seat. As if they planned it that way, Jade's hand slid up my dress.

"Ohmygod what's happening?" I muttered against Tori's lips.

She broke the kiss. "Shh," she whispered gently. "Just let us help." My lips felt naked without hers on them; I greedily pulled her back down to me. Jade's hand was halfway up my thigh before I realized it had even moved. Tori's hand slid down my neck and over my breasts which were straining against my bra at this point. I didn't know what to do, I'd never had two other peoples' hands on me at once before. The fact that it was Tori and Jade seemed impossible, like something out of a crazy fantasy. My drunk brain just couldn't handle it. It made no sense and perfect sense at the same time.

I opened my legs as Jade's hand reached my panties. Her fingers pressed into them and I had to break the kiss with Tori so I could breathe. But I didn't want to because her lips were so sweet and soft and tasted of red wine, so I kissed her again.

Jade slipped her fingers under my panties. She didn't even make it inside me before my entire body began shaking. I broke Tori's kiss again and groaned louder than I think I ever have.

"Ooohhhhhh goooddddd!" I cried as the simple touch of Jade's finger managed to rock my entire body with a small orgasm.

Three years, oh god, that wasn't three years worth…

My higher brain had already been running behind, but after the it nearly shut down completely. I started reacting on instinct, caring less about why this was happening and more about what was next. I wasn't used to thinking so primitively but it was almost all-consuming.

Jade made to withdraw her hand, but I stopped her. I groaned into Tori's mouth as Jade got the hint. She set her fingers back to work and this time I was able to handle it a little better. How did it feel so familiar after so many years? That first night, the first time with Jade, came back to me in a rush. Sitting on her bathroom countertop, her dripping wet from her shower…

I could tell the kissing was doing something to Tori, too. She seemed content to guide things at first, but as my tongue wrapped around hers, her energy shifted, became more aggressive. Her hand slid to my thigh, then up the bottom of my dress where she gently touched Jade's hand. Without even looking, she guided Jade's hand to the side of my panties and between the two of them they pulled them down. Tori's finger joined Jade's for a moment, slipping around my wet lips, before vanishing.

A second later, I heard Jade groan. I opened my eyes to see Tori's finger in her mouth. Jade looked to Tori inquisitively. Tori appeared to respond. Suddenly, Jade was on her knees in front of me, flipping my dress up.

I watched and the sight made me so much wetter. Tori watched right along with me. What must she be thinking? This was her wife…but she was…

Ohmygod…ohhh, please…

As Jade kissed my thighs, Tori's hand traveled down my abs, and that lone, wet finger found my slit and began to rub.

I met her gaze…I tried once more through the haze to understand what was happening…why…but no thoughts formed for long and no words came out. Just a jumbled mess of grunts and groans and gasps and half-formed pleas to whatever deity might have been listening.

Tori's finger ran in firm circles while Jade's tongue slipped inside of me. I stared, struck completely dumb, watching my best friend's face vanishing between my legs while my other best friend's finger worked its witchcraft on me.

Tori's lips were on my cheek and then my neck. Her other hand disappeared behind me and I felt the zipper on my dress fall loose. She slid it off my arms as Jade's tongue reached and curled deep inside of me.

"Uuhhh," I groaned.

Tori wrinkled her nose and smiled at me. She kissed me again and her hand traveled down my body, sliding into my bra and squeezing each breast. I gasped into her mouth as Jade slipped a finger inside of me alongside her tongue.

Tori broke the kiss and seemed to get lost watching as Jade slid her tongue deeper still. Their eyes met each other's and I could feel Jade's lips curl up in a smile. Tori reached down and caressed Jade's cheek, then suddenly slipped her hand behind Jade's head and forced her a little harder into me. Jade didn't resist, instead allowing Tori to almost smother her.

I watched in awe as another rush of wetness hit me. I knew Jade could feel it too as she groaned and thrust her finger deeper. Her tongue found my spot and I threw my head back as far as I could.

"There, there, there, there, oohhhhh!"

My hand found Tori's resting on the back of Jade's head and we both ground her face into me. My entire body shook from head to toe as the second orgasm hit me. I pulled my legs as high up as I could, letting Jade slide deeper.

I could barely move. Jade kissed my thighs and withdrew her hand. Tori grabbed it and pulled it up to where we were kissing. She gently slipped it between us and we each kissed it and caressed it with our tongues. It always drove me extra crazy to taste…well…me. I pulled Tori into a powerful kiss and nearly choked her with my tongue. After a moment, she gently pulled away from my lips, kissing her way to my ear.

"Le's get Jade," she said. The way she said it gave me even more chills.

Tori sat on the edge of the loveseat, then stood. She gently pulled Jade to her feet and kissed her. Jade's lips glistened with…well, me. Tori didn't seem to mind. In fact, it sent her into a kind of hungry rage. As she kissed Jade, she gently turned toward the bed. Honestly, my drunken mind could have watched them kiss like that all night, but Tori had swiftly unclasped Jade's skirt. It dropped to the floor, revealing that she had been wearing stockings.

Ohmygod, I thought, admiring how sexy those strong thighs were just underneath the lace-topped black stockings.

Tori managed to get Jade out of her top and her bra in seconds. Plenty of practice, I guessed. She shoved Jade backward; Jade took the hint and climbed up on the bed as Tori pursued her. Jade watched with desperate anticipation as Tori's pursuit ended at the tops of Jade's stockings. As she climbed up into the bed, she motioned for me to join her.

Jade was now fully on the bed, laying back close to the pillows, her legs spread with Tori between them. I climbed next to Tori but slid up and lingered over Jade. I watched her gorgeous eyes roll as Tori's tongue finally found its mark. Jade's back arched and she grabbed her pink nipples. I decided to make those my first stop, gently moving one hand and taking it between my lips. I nibbled, sucked, and bit, remembering instinctively the little things she enjoyed. Her hands ran through my hair as I slid back and forth between them.

Tori seemed to be enjoying herself so much, I decided to kiss my way down and join her. As my body shifted so that my legs were closer to Jade's head, I felt her strong arms slide underneath my stomach. She physically lifted me up and slid me closer to her. I ended up with my legs straddling her face and my own face between hers, right next to Tori.

I groaned in ecstasy as her tongue slid back inside of me. Tori heard the groan and opened her eyes. She smiled and motioned for me to join her. We kissed, and then Tori began to nibble Jade's thighs, allowing me the chance to bury myself between those gorgeous legs. I used every trick I knew, lashing out, stabbing deep into her folds, caressing every inch of flesh, dragging my tongue across her lips, and impaling her again. As Tori kissed and nibbled, she slid a finger inside just below my tongue. I lashed out over Jade's clit as Tori pumped first one, then two fingers deep inside of her.

Jade slipped a finger inside of me. She clutched my hip with her other hand and pulled me down onto her face so hard I was afraid she'd drown. It was the second finger that pushed me over the edge; my thighs shook and squeezed her head as I had another orgasm, which I screamed into her clit.

As it gradually faded, Tori's fingers increased their speed. Jade's thighs tensed and shook. She screamed into me as I had into her, and she clamped down on Tori's fingers. I met Tori's beautiful gaze as her wife writhed beneath our touch. She smiled at me again and kissed me. I could taste Jade on her lips as her tongue probed deeper into my mouth.

Tori and I gently kissed our way back up Jade's body, one of us on each side. As we reached her lips, we shared in a kiss, all three of us, lips and tongues melding together in a chaotic mess. It was during this kiss that Jade managed to get her hands on Tori's shoulders. Using her considerable strength, she flipped Tori over her so that she was now between us.

She resisted at first. "No, it's okay—"

Jade kissed her to keep her from talking.

There before me was Tori, her robe long since shed, only a silk nightgown between my hand and her naked body. That Jade was there with me, that we were both kissing and caressing her wife at the same time, drove my poor, broken mind into a frenzy. I had stopped questioning why and just went with it.

Jade propped herself on her left arm and I did the same on my right. Jade took my left hand in hers and interlaced our fingers, then guided my hand all over Tori's body. We caressed her cheek, her neck, her breasts, then lifted the bottom of her nightgown and slipped down between her thighs.

Tori's hips rolled and bucked on the bed as Jade let go of my hand and we both simply touched her, running our fingers up and down her lips, teasing into her folds, gently squeezing her thighs. Jade pulled Tori's nightgown off entirely, and I admired her perfectly formed breasts; smaller than Jades, darker, but so soft and sexy.

Jade kissed Tori endlessly. I didn't want to intrude, so I found my way down Tori's beautifully toned abs. I kissed down her thighs, entranced at the natural scent of her skin. I extended her leg gently in my grip and kissed down the sides of her calf. Her toenails were so cute, painted a lovely shade of purple. I gently kissed the bottom of her foot firmly, which caused her to groan into Jade's mouth.

I did the same on her other foot, then kissed my way back down towards the paradise I knew was waiting for me. But my own belly was on fire again. All those years of ignoring my needs had made my body very demanding. Seeing Tori's sexy legs there before me, I knew just what to do.

I grabbed her hips and tugged, laying her flat, then straddled her midsection, taking her right leg in my hand. The shift in position drew Jade's attention. She looked at me and nearly laughed. She nodded her approval and I lowered myself onto Tori, pressing my lady lips into hers. We began to grind and, well, scissor.

Tori groaned right away, and I felt her hips begin to buck against mine. She motioned for Jade to get to her knees, then practically dragged her gorgeous wife's thighs over top of her. I watched in awe as Tori's pretty face vanished underneath Jade, who slowly lowered herself onto her wife's waiting tongue.

Jade was fully in command of her body as she rode Tori's face; her hands roamed everywhere, from her breasts to her stomach and even down where Tori's tongue did its work. She groaned, she gasped, she called her wife's name in such a sultry, sexy voice. As each of us writhed on top of Tori, Jade met my gaze. We shared the most bizarre smile, as if it were perfectly normal for any of this insanity to be happening.

I sensed fog creeping up on me, at the very edge of my vision, as I gasped and groaned. I kept my hands wrapped around Tori's leg for balance as I ground myself into her. She bucked and thrust against me just as hard, our lips merging and becoming one, the gentle, wet sounds of our bodies mingling making me even wetter.

"Ohgod, Tori…fuuuuuck." Jade's hips were grinding faster and faster. She fell forward and hung onto me for balance. Our noses nuzzled and we kissed, our tongues intertwining, sharing a taste that was, by now, a mixture of all three of us.

"Goooooddddd, yes," she gasped as she nearly fell forward. She wrapped her arms around me, using me for support. I felt her muscles stiffen as she tried to sit back up. She looked me in the eye as her entire body rocked through another orgasm. Seeing it pass through her eyes like that made me so dizzy. I could barely breathe. My body trembled as well and I pushed harder downward into Tori, almost bouncing, trying to grind even harder as my biggest orgasm of the night shook every single inch of me.

As it hit me fully, I felt weak. My limbs couldn't support me anymore. Just as Jade had fallen into me, I fell into her. But I couldn't stop; I slid off of Tori entirely, my head hitting what I think was the pillow. The fog that had been lingering was overtaking me.

I couldn't move. I couldn't lift my head. I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't do anything but lay there. Bodies shifted around me. My stomach nearly flipped as I suddenly felt myself surrounded. Jade on one side, Tori on the other. Their arms wrapped around me and even though I was so, so out of it, I knew that I was safe.

Oh god…what just happened? What have we done? What happened?

I couldn't do anything but let the darkness take me and hope I'd remember enough in the morning to get some answers…

Tori…why?